At this point I shall just blame my period for this excessive sadness
I wake up, think of sad and spend the whole day in bed trying to find things that can distract me for 2 minutes at a time
Trying to find strength to move or even eat
But feeling so numb and lifeless, I just dont even try
Go to bed, and hope I can fall asleep
Hope I dont dream sad things
And hope I dont wake up sad again.
Boring.
But oh well,
It's always darkest before the dawn
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15.48pm
There's posts from this page called dead.literatures on instagram and every single time I see a quote that resonates so deep within and I see who posted, it's the exact same page
But I cant bring myself to follow it
Too accurate
It's like my inner self is the one running the page
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17.53pm
When im sad i dont want to talk to anyone
When i dont talk to anyone i get more sad
Whats my problem
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19.01pm
Cooked. Did one thing today yay and it made me feel better also cause the food turned out amazing (ok la playcheat used the paste mama already made lol but still)
Also I guess shopp (hahahaha ok wait) shopee's advertisements failed cause i tried to google it to look for racks but i typed shoppee and like nothing was autofilled so
But also fake news i'll probably just go out and buy tomorrow
I need to rearrange my makeup
But also im wondering if it was the biscoff ice cream I had (and bought like... 2 or 3 days ago it was in my freezer) that made me feel better
Eating it made me realise that like mcflurry, it's literally overpriced vanilla ice cream with cheap cookies
Although macs vanilla ice cream is delicious by itself
Time to make my own mcflurries lets all be smart together
I guess ice cream do make you feel better
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19.12pm
The concept of sedekah is so beautiful
Especially if you realise that even the simplest act of being patient, teaching someone something, smiling at them, are all insyaallah accepted as sedekah
Even those who has nothing to give, can claim its rewards
Also yes I blogged yesterday but didnt post I thought of backlogging but it does not look nice on the webpage so back to daily blogging it is
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19.21pm
Chiqa just came to the room and gave me a thumbs up (thumbs down cause we speak in opposites) and said I can open my own restaurant cause "the mac and cheese you made don't really taste like mac and cheese, taste like truffle mac and cheese" (translated for your benefit)
HAHAH I said No i dont want to chop onions
But thank you that is a high praise (or is that just a ploy to make me cook more)
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22.22pm
Nights are just hard