Turns out my appointment is tomorrow, not today
Half of me dont mind going cause god knows I still feel swingy at times and it's not a fun feeling but we'll have to see how my body reacts to my 2nd dose tonight
Excited to be fully vaccinated (not cause of the potential perks or whatever ok lol what a funny motivation) so I can be more secure but also the scarier risk is passing the virus onto someone more compromised
God protect us from it amin amin
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04.06am
So many things on my mind
How can a tiny 2kg thing contain the universe and its multitudes
How can a lump of matter control my outlook on everything
So cool yet disturbing
But yea, so many things on this mind
It's a wonder how I even manage to fall asleep at all throughout the day
Some of my current thoughts are
Why am I not asleep
Am I hungry should I make food
Ugh work in 4 hours pdfs after pdfs and deadline
Why am I awake
Im probably not hungry just bored
National day cover's deadline
Hospital ew
Can I stop having a heart sometimes
Should I drink water
Should I do my skincare or am I too down to care
Am I still sad??? Probably not. Probably am.
ps i didnt google brain weight ok dont @ me if it's actually 60kg but 1.5 seems like a good guess
pps dont @ me part 2 but sadness is one of the best weight loss mechanisms go fall in love and get heartbroken (not hard to achieve) and (ok unless youre a stress eater) you'll lose all appetite and the will to consume anything and wallah 4kg lost by doing nothing but be sad youre welcome doctors and dieticians HATE me
ppps yes im being dramatic lol it's 4am and my brain is overloaded so please ignore everything I said
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09.38am
Whoa I set alarm at 10am with 40% hope that i'd actually wake up but somehow im awake now
Thanks body clock
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16.08pm
Really dont want to cry again
At this rate im surprised i can still produce tears
Tired
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18.44pm
God grant me strength. I need it so much im truly incapable
If my period really just came, what a joke
Right before vaccination
I'll just self declare disappear from the world
Let me heal my body heart and spirit in the realm ive only ever known- loneliness
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20.42pm
Yes my period just came but pain tolerance no difference so far so im excited about that
Officially embracing the last few (hopefully hours) moments before my left arm goes on MC
The second dose is much more painless and quicker than the first in terms of adminstration- maybe cause the guy not only hypnotised me by speaking fast (still understandable ok but like rap) and told me to breathe in deeply right as he jabbed idk
Currently waiting to be released and trying not to cry because I finally feel like I have One friend
Also this waiting area is so cold im frozen
Talking to my gojek (again, shoutout to gojek for sponsoring our rides I appreciate it so much) driver and vaccination person made me feel better
I hate proving myself wrong (that i dont want to talk to people) lol even though im right anyway hahaha
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21.12pm
If it wasnt 9pm i'd have gone hiking again