Ahh, what beautiful days that ends and begins with a heavy heart
I cant wait to look back on these and have my future self whisper to me that I survived
As of now, im a wounded soldier, im incapable of doing much
Scratching the walls looking for something, anything, to get me through the night
+==edit==+
03.40am
Watching videos are not the solution usually cause my mind just wanders and I end up still thinking (worse, feeling)
But just watching ballinger's family not only takes my mind off things, but also makes me smile sometimes (freakin duncan and luke never fail to make my heart swell with happiness)
Cherie whom I finally replied after.. weeks.. (sorry mum) suggested I sang to get me through the night but I dont want to listen to, much less produce music
Hopefully I fall asleep soon somehow
Can feel my arm veryyy slowly getting sore but is manageable
If I end up going for my PT later (girl is still indecisive but leaning towards a yes just cause I need the help and I hope it helps lol) I hope the physiotherapist wont make me lie down on my side??
Ive read about the procedures and it's a lot of purposefully induced vertigo so I hope I dont end the session swaggering like a toddler lol
I deserve ice cream just for surviving these two days even though the day hasnt even started
+==edit==+
10.39am
Allahuakhbar I woke up feeling shitty again and got a reminder in my face
That Allah does not burden a soul beyond that it can bear
Who am I to say im not strong enough to survive such a small test by Him
Had high fever for like an hour but it went away almost as soon as it came
Also I dreamt phua chu kang is secretly part of the mafia and I offended him so much by insulting him via "jokes", that I ran away to not be in trouble hahaha I know it's a dream and not real life cause in real life I would stay and insult him more
Dont really feel like moving but I guess i'd take post-vaccination care > Vertigo cus that one left me essentially functionless
In desperate need of water I woke up so parched (ew this word is not cute lol)
Still contemplating pushing the appointment away but also like get it over and done with
My hands are numb cause of cold but my body is warm so like choose one temperature to feel okay
I should get up a bit
Ok bye may you all have a beautiful day ahead
ps watch me say im getting up but still lying down
+==edit==+
12.05pm
Me; why am i so tired for no reason
Science; o.o
Why didnt i think of taking half day today
Also I emailed the hospital to reschedule but they replied with "We will reply within 7-10 working days" ok sorry for having faith
Guess i'd need to call cause I cannot see myself going out at all
+==edit==+
12.13pm
Kay that was easy
And my appointment is delayed for another month hahaha but alas I really dont wanna go out (ok tbh if it comes down to it im sure I couldve pushed myself to go and get it over and done with) but it's ok hopefully by then my vertigo self healed and I dont even have to go
I feel all around uncomfortable like the pre fever feeling so it'll either break or go away we will see
Keep switching the fan on and off every 3 seconds sorry fan