A few things on the mind (02.44am)

Our first grab home this semester
The whole thing ended at 1am
Personhood
The main thing that is the source of the few things on my mind is personhood- mine and others.
These past few weeks I have been pleasantly and unpleasantly surprised by the humans around me, also myself.
It's like I went through an experience that I myself am not conscious about
One thing's for sure, past comfort is not the case and I have no idea whether it's temporary or it's a real change
Most of all I have no idea whether I should, or do I even care to salvage these situations.
I know it's annoying to present concepts without context but just understand that i've been... ok nevermind let me sort out my thoughts.

Had a weird grab ride back??
I was with a friend but he sat in front idky then like since it was weird to talk I just plugged in my earpiece and zoned our 5ever lol
Why are humans so weird
I dont understand and will not attempt to
They fluctuate worse than the economy la (idk anything about economy)

Also im working later after so long hahaha cant tell whether im looking forward or not
We'll see

+==edit==+
21.49pm

My ignoring game stronger than anything else right now hahahaha
On my way to pasir ris (for the very-few-valid-reasons to travel there) for a last minute chalet lol
It feels so weird that I don't have to behave on a friday night cause "long day of rehearsal tomorrow" D:
It has been my go-to excuse for the past few months pls hahahaha "(not) sorry got concert (very not) sorry rehearsals are aplenty"
Thankfully not that far away from my destination now cause I need food and company im an extrovert ok hhahaha no link but got link
Tomorrow might will be a productive day and then sunday will be my lepak day cause 1 weeksary of concert aka I cannot for the life of me beleaf it aka I wont even think about it cause im not ready aka bye

Start of many (01.07am)

Deciding whether to stay up to read for the test later or to sleep and wake up earlier
Felt sleepy in the day even though I had quite a long sleep?? At least 6 hours man
Probably too much for this season
Or is this season one where I am fully nocturnal- not as awake in the day
Idk but it's semi bugging cause like why am I sleepy ahahaha

First rehearsal after concert ended and it feels so homely yet too small.
Yall are irreplacable ah hahahaha
Had a good laugh on the way home cause daya is weird
K im still deciding
Round 2 of auditions later too
I literally meet hmx everyday hahahaha i love it

+==edit==+
14.10pm

On my way to school, a test I have no idea about but it's 3% meh
Was gonna read some notes in the grab but the driver is too bubbly
Omg he just asked: who's the chairman (of your a cappella club)
Misplaced an important belonging
I crai
Ok let me entertain the uncle he asking about our concert

+==edit==+

15.19pm

This is worse than logic hahah I expected it from the start but I want to learn it cause it'd be a great addition to my philosophical vocabulary 

But miss one class (and fail to pay attention on the first class) and you're loster than a sheep without a fisherman (exactly, what are words anymore)

He's trying to review before our test but i'm not absorbing a thing 

So distracted hahahah bye la

+==edit==+
17.08pm

As a severely indecisive being, it is extremely hard when I feel like eating but I don't feel like eating anything in particular cause nothing seems good cause what if I buy anyhow and end up not feeling like eating it
I usually end up just not eating cause choosing is a bother
Bleagh
Trying new blog template meh still in the process
Just realised that blogskins is gone omg I panicked cause where the heck can I
I am definitely not paying attention in class and am not planning to
20 mins to freedom, also 20 mins to choose food hahahaha

Confusing but comforting day (02.10am)

After a sleepless night, I was awakened with hiphop and then went for lunch and was half hour late to the next class which I am still surprised that I stayed awake for.
(Sorry brain break my hair is still so soft from the treatment i love it)
First round of auditions went okay- not my ideal in terms of execution but as of right now plus the strong hmx bond post-concert I cant imagine it going any other way
Ended up having our current members audition too hahahaha it was fun
Last bus as usual
9.30am class later and I really want to make it- it is the prof ive been missing the past 2-3 sems so like cmon I need it

So I was sleepy the whole day and I was gonna blame it on my lack of sleep but im not that weak psht but then of course everything made sense by night time- my period just came
Shouldve known hahaha
The human body is so cool

Went hunting for healthy food with keichi and val while waiting for the bus (healthy chips chocolate and ice lolly) and had a mini picnic in the bus ahahah
Ok I want to rest but I also want to do a lot of things
We'll see

+==edit==+
14.39pm

The warmups yesterday made me feel warmed up but now my legs hurts what even
Currently in class but idk why im sleepy??
I notice that as long as im fighting against natural tendencies (aka me not wanting to sleep again yesterday) it will not end up too well
What should I get for lunch
Chicken rice or fast food
Eh think later
Rehearsals resume today hahahaha I love it

A MILLION DREAMS (02.50am)

I have things to do, and this semester is the wrong time to take on classes with uncomfortable (ok more like new) profs because their working style does not work for me
3 freaking presentations and in class tests what are yall thinking man
I should stick to my usual lowkey two essays a sem profs because unsurprisingly, the lesser the workload the more I learn.
Perhaps cause we dont have to cram so much info just for one small thing, as opposed to sincerely wanting to find things out
Looking around is making me realise uni is not much different from the past 10 years of education.
People around me are still doing things for the sake of grades and bragging rights.
I dont care what their priorities are ah just dont get in the way of my learning

Also I have been revisited by a quote i've came across many a times but never really rang with me until today
It's that true friendship is not based on how long you've known each other.
Ultimately if we seek different things and are not getting them, we can either accomodate or move on.
The choice is not with me as of now but I hope it comes eventually.

I have hiphop class in 8 hours and I dont really feel like moving much psht
But im looking forward to being on track.
My time management this semester would probably be extra on point with my priorities being family, harmonix and learning.
Friends who matter will fit in somehow.
This is not the time for people who are part timers.
Maybe i'll entertain yall next sem.

Talking about part timers omg I have people I havent spoken to in so long asking me why I didnt tell them about harmonix's concert
I forgot that there are people who are always there supporting me from the dark
These are the people I shouldnt have forgotten.
These are the people I should have sent the mass messages to.
Eh. In the high, and high expectations and complacency that the important ones would support me best, I forgot about the ones who truly care for my art and interests.
These people who are never forced to come because they genuinely support my passion and performances.
These sincere beings who I somehow managed to forget and I feel terrible.
It's a lesson learnt definitely!
I'm glad it happened now.

One more thing, I cannot tolerate angsty and paggro people.
It shows either your major lack of maturity or your cowardice- either way it does not make you look good.
What hurt you so much that you cannot be honest to yourself
OMG OK ZX JUST TEXTED SHE IN CANADA K BRB

+==edit==+
03.06am

Ok im done replying and I just realised my title is in all caps what was I thinking
I dont even remember what I typed above hahahaha
True pourage of thoughts into this place

+==edit==+
05.07am

Im really out here not sleeping crabmeat I have a long day ahead but hopefully dancing and- oh crap heavy lesson in the afternoon which is potentially gonna be when the sleepy ghost comes to visit
Hopefully auditions wake me up again

+==+edit==+
OMG SLEEPY HAHAHAHAHAHAH Dl

Chapter zero: only the beginning (01.02am)

(Aww how apt the time is the next 2 numbers after zero hahaahh)
I feel like a changed person
But I also feel like im being spammed with messages and content
I'm trying to chill and live in this moment.
Too much things to process at once and it's all the things i'd like to take slow and embrace.
Happy is an understatement, but it is also the word that can convey the pure emotion currently running through my blood.
Pure happiness.

+==edit==+
13.18pm

I feel like most of us refuse to move on hahahah truth wtheck I cannot take the thank yous, the photos and videos without wanting to cry and I dont even know why
I mean Chapter zero, is just the beginning, it should be exciting but nope here we are bawling our eyes out.
That last Ooh in our encore song always makes me want to cry- even from rehearsals, but on the actual day we were all just laughing at ourselves for crying and the audience accepted it.
They understood our emotions and mama lin who didnt even understand english that well said she felt so sad at the end seeing us together.
I don't know why i'm reviewing this now, i'm definitely one of the people who does not want to face reality yet.
Like I said, I want to live in this moment.
Too much feels for me to focus on anything else.
And ironically, tomorrow is the day a new chapter begins for Harmonix.
First round of auditions for AY1819.
New batch.
Our fourth batch ever.
I have no idea how much they'll buy in our Harmonix spirit but i'll leave it to fate to sieve out the true hearts from the not.
In my club, I can look around and say I feel sincerity from every single individual in what they do.
The passion and love is like no other.

ps already lost 1 of my member. losing another one tonight and they keep saying "it's only 3-5 months!!" but nO not right after this monumental moment D:

+==edit==+
23.48pm

Currently listening to the concert playlist- wished it was their voices instead but the songs themselves are enough feels :')
Seeing like 9 other harmonix people today makes me feel like nothing changed- it all feels the same and yes we went through the most important thing but we'll always be dispensible for each other hehehehe
Anyway, may my zx and emmaus have a safe flight to their respective accomodations (neither a horse ranch nor a camper van)
Today was heartwarming as we all admitted we still crying today HAHAHAHAH i love it
I feel better already ♡ (O SHIT SWAY PLAYING IM NOT OK ANYMORE my dear rvn D:)
Thanks universe T.T

Crashing in advance (00.38am)

I had an interesting day, one that proves that truly the people that matters most is family and yourself, but it is also ok to indulge in friendships
Im crashing halfway from attempting to pack my stuff, it has been a long quite productive day (heavily debatable but)
I was in an extreme time crunch like 3 time consuming thing to settle vs a mall's closing time.
There were blessings amidst bad decisions definitely and I ended up choosing an outfit just based on the colour like I didnt even try them on im like "skirt yellow top yellow same shade k counter" cause I was so done walking around
Finally went to the salon but because I still dk what to do with my hair I ended up just chopping it off and getting treatment
So today was choosing to see the good over bad, always assuming the best regardless and remembering that you can rock everyday
(my past self's birthday email to myself was so apt she said everything current me needed to hear why am i amazing idk)
Ok should get back to packing then attempt to sleep
I feel no nerves mostly cause im in denial that tomorrow is concert and it'll be over after that NO

Here we go, Harmonix.
First ever concert- the gathering of founders and the newest members; all integrated as a family
I'm so excited for us.
Just have fun loves, you already made me proud from the journey itself.
♡
Here's to kickass

The season is here, time to embrace it (03.02am)

This the period where I dont feel sleepy throughout the day hahaha I like this
Actually really cool how my biology works though idk if it's mind over matter but these seasons takes place so consistently and they take turns so equally I cant fault any of them
So does this mean I might actually be to school on time hahahahha
Ive been telling everyone I wont be there at 930 (very truthful but now I think about it it might be semi-ironic like perhaps subconsciously reverse psychologying myself idk I dont trick myself what) come on ah my birthday has been a self-declared holiday since forever and if I cant be missing I at least cant come on time
Still thinking of how to settle my woes in time
Hmmmmmmmmm

+==edit==+
12.00pm

I love birthday wishes but this year the same people are wishing me on different platforms it's so precious hahahah
Thank you all for your time and effort
Tomorrow onwards i'll be back to my lazy-to-entertain mode but for today bring all them messages on!

Lack of self-awareness whats new (03.13am)

Why am I not asleep
Im not sleepy
But I require rest cause I foresee a long three days ahead hahahahahehehehehe not complaining just try to rest more ay
I think I have fully recovered alhamdulillah
Now to not fall sick again
(Someone said I looked so pale it was like I saw a ghost)
(I think it was just my lipstick honestly)
Talking about ghost I was walking through a long empty corridor on my way to rehearsal just now and I kept glancing back to make sure there was no undertaker hahahahahaha priorities
I told rvn and they laughed in confusion
Psht yall will never get it but I still love yall hahahaha losers

+==edit==+
16.41pm

How do you revive a part of you you successfully killed off?
Is it even necessary
Is a part time persona necessary?

+==edit==+
23.35pm

It is 25 minutes to me turning 22- birthdays are weird but a good place for self-reflection though not compulsary
Sometimes I find it unnecessarily too big of a deal but most of the time I just embrace seeing people appreciate my existance ahahaha
But it also makes me question my existance like hmMmm do I really make an impact in your lives (not that I care I just strive to be the kindest best person I can be, you get what you unconsciously deserve)
It's also hard to be overjoyed on my day seeing that I have to be in school by 9.30am and I still have zero prep for concert
I feel like leaving rehearsal early would help but I know I won't
So im thinking of the worst case scenario I buy on the day itself can or not hahahahahahaha living life on the edge woohoo
Actually I did attempt to buy the stuff today but malls close annoyingly early on weeknights like by the time we finished eating all the shops were closed
So we ended up doing some physical activities in the mall and then rounded cold storage twice looking for ice-cream (totally failed mission btw im still disappointed)
And now im settled down home
Ok time to ignore more things hehehehe
But seriously I simultaneously have not enough and too much time to self-reflect on my life journey thus far
Eh
I owe myself one
But for now, let's just be thankful and celebrate being alive, healthy and thriving shall we? (Insert party popper emoticon)

Not now??? (00.49am)

Ok you know sometimes I take hours editing videos to make them amazing and they dont even see daylight
Then when I do it anyhow for the lolrandom factor PEOPLE ARE SHARING IT nO dont but so sweet of you to tolerate my (not even half assed) work on your feeds and show it to your friends???
Moral of the story to me Dont even publish in the first place la hahahaha you cant take it back (or maybe i can and pretend it never existed and convince them that they were all hallucinating)

+==edit==+
15.17pm

Look at everyone in my extended family worrying about the fact that im still costumeless for the concert hahahaahahais what to do
I'll find time over the next 2 days (hopefully tomorrow but eh I cant tell)
Ok brb

+==edit==+
15.26pm

Ok im back
Like I said ive been delirious this past week
I can blame my almost-complete cycle of the earth around the sun
Or I can just embrace it and not blame anything.....
Heading to school in 2 hours so now awaiting humans to arrive to takeover my babysitting shift hahaha jk but I am waiting for humans
K bye may the rest of the week be a smooth and fun one

+==edit==+
18.43pm

I think growing up with wwe shaped me definitely
But now im crying hahahahaha loser all these hall of fame induction speeches and retirement speeches
I shall stop for now I dont need these extra emotions

+==edit==+
23.46pm

Rehearsal went well, was bittersweet though cause it's our last thursday rehearsal before concert, and before zx and emmaus flies for exchange and sam takes a break
I crai
D:

Don't know, don't mind (01.37am)

Somehow the most productive when i'm busiest
So not aligned with my internal chill
Anyway I cannot comprehend how cool undertaker is wtheck
Sometimes I watch hsm and im like "gabbie is so cute maybe I should be more gentle" but then I get reminded of badasses like stone cold the rock and undertaker and I realise that im too cool to be nice
But some people think im too nice to be cool
You know what those who calls me heartless does so because I fail to do the things they want me to, whereas the ones who think im nice thinks so because I do things beyond their expectations
Moral of the story external judgements are never constant and it dont matter
You define yourself if necessary
Why am I talking about this im literally not doing anything bye la

+==edit==+
22.45pm

Had a lovely day despite circumstances
Got ice-cream AND ice-cream cake for the advanced cake cutting ceremony (pls dont be the only i need more cake hahahaha ok kidding very grateful)
Still thinking of how to occupy tomorrow
4 days to concert screams

Wake up clown town (00.59am)

Do humans around here not know what commitment means oh my goat head this is nonsensical

+==edit==+
19.16pm

Was a bit more productive today despite spending the day at the hospital again
Unestablished plans tomorrow cause I have two options but I cant decide so probably going for both lol
Anyway, selamat hari raya aidiladha :')
I heard like 1 raya song this week boo me
Idk whether this lack of sense of time is due to me being more in the present or the exact opposite
I cant tell
I cant even comprehend that it's 4 days to my birthday and 5 days to concert
I hate numbers la basically everyone knows that but ya im either too engrossed living in the moment or im not even present in this dimension
Who knows : )

Things don't go as planned usually (19.04pm)

Happy 25th birthday demdems ♡

+==edit==+
23.47pm

A day surrounded by family which is lovely, saw izzul and izzah who were extra friendly today hahaha
Also very unproductive day but I couldnt imagine it any other way
Probably pushing my agendas to tomorrow while babysitting
May it all be for the best

If strength is his (01.22am)

Have been watching random old undertaker/kane videos the whole of today to scare myself hahahaha
Full run went well but I am very emotional that it is the last mass rehearsal before concert.
Also concert is in exactly a week
Im excited of course but not looking forward
Is it finally a rest day tomorrow yes it is hopefully
Time to resume takering

+==edit==+
13.29pm

I mean what's new, the day I can sleep in is the very day my brain wakes me up unnecessarily early but eh
Back to watching brothers of destructions videos
Just heard JR say "I know everybody's got the right to be ugly, but he (kane) abuses the privilege"
Hahahahahahahahahah
Also I just want to lepak today
Zz buenas noches

+==edit==+
14.50pm

I JUST started watching edge's HOF induction video and already had to take a break he barely even appeared in the video hahahahahahha crap la
So much emotions
I got to pause

+==edit==+
15.22pm

Mama just asked if I wanted to follow her
Do I want to rest at home and cry over wwe or should I go out
Am honestly preferenceless but internally leaning towards just wweing

+==edit==+
19.43pm

Lol spent hours curating videos to edit but they'll probably not be published
Anyway who do I think I am wanting to watch undertaker videos alone at home ha ha ha
Only dared to start watching when anga came home (like 7 mins ago)
I realised that my instagram name represents my alter egos- the socially acceptable reyrey and the too-cool-for-the-world taker
Im inevitably both
Not even a joke hahahahahahah
K im drunk
Here's to a productive day tomorrow
Costume hunting and probably saloning too idk

Lol part dos (01.23am)

Am supposed to be in school in 6 hours time which is crazy but also will never happen if not for Harmonix zzz lucky I love you all
Anyway I also don't understand why I dont feel like sleeping though im tiredish
Must be anticipation idk
Had a lovely day, woke up early for a solo Geylang trip to buy cloth (hahahaha I felt like such a mum) and costume hunting but in the middle of it I got 2 work calls one right after the other- the second one asking me where I was because unbeknownst to me my shift was 12pm and not 1pm hahaha
Thankfully I left at the time I did though cause I left at 12.15pm and ended up clocking in at 12.47pm and my time optimistic self wouldve only left geylang at 12.30pm
Needless to say im still costumeless
Thankfully my schedule next week is pretty cleared up
Ok I should rest

Lol (23.12pm)

Walking towards my lift and seeing all the stray cats looking at me I wonder what's in their brains
Reminds me of a Would you rather question which lets you choose between being able to speak every language in the world or speak to animals (ok now I think about it it might also be Play every musical instrument)
Ok im home brb

Superego ftw (15.14pm)

Sometimes no matter how concrete your evidence is, if winning doesn't matter as much as feelings, you raise the white flag regardless.
Ego cannot be fought with anything but its lackof and giving in is like snatching the knife from the enemy to stab yourself instead- ironically hurting less as it bleeds more
This won't matter in a while, we will move on and disappointment will dissipate

Also im unprepared for concert, in class but not paying attention, and hungry.
Buaiii

First day of Year 3! (23.37pm)

Was me grabbing to school, late for both classes of the day, doing hiphop early in the morning (quite fun though, but it quickly reminded me on why I took a break from dancing in the first place hahahaha) and then rushing for the gig and then rushing to get brunch before rushing for afternoon class (aka when I say rushing I mean I was supposed to but when do I ever rush the only rush I know is Rasyiqah hahahahaha it my baby)
All went quite well!
Random brunch buy turned out quite nice
Headed to jurong with some hmx humans for dinner and purchase concert outfits ayy that was quite fun though I was spending more time burning outfits than buying them (aka I didnt buy any bleagh)
12 days to concert I cannot
In the train we saw keichi's sister and he was wondering why she ended up at the same cabin
Reminded me of the time I saw elephant and we both made a face at each other even before the train doors opened hahahaha what fate but still what a loser
Ok morning class tomorrow and rehearsals yay I love rehearsals
Goodnight!

ps recovering slowly but steadily! take your time just make sure you stay away

He keeps reminding me (01.49am)

Still contemplating whether to cancel my shift.
Then again will I really stoop that low as to cancel it last minute
But im counting on the fact that i'll feel better after every sleep
I really pray tonight is far from last night

+==edit==+
20.55pm

Just settling down and I was trying to write down my to-do list for tomorrow and the list kept growing so much I literally quit the memo app hahahahahaha
Will deal with this later tonight
Tried to change my sim card to the new phone but eh whatsapp still works best with the old phone (needless to say blogger also works better with this phone)
Was tempted to get another number so I can exclusivise myself once more but no time for that too many things to do and people to entertain
Work went well today!
Bummed that all my fun colleagues are leaving/have left
Iman is leaving too D:
And school starts tomorrow
K la let me go settle more stuff heheh
AND IM FEELING WAY BETTER btw I feel glorious
(Not really but compared to the past 2 days this is perfection)
Still coughing like mad lol forcing me to drink water
Speaking of water (omg im typing so fast this is the mark of im in a lovely mood) I accidentally drank water instead of apple juice and you know when you expect to taste something and you taste something else but imagine the shock of my life when I got WATER instead of good good apple juice
I think I shrieked a bit I really was shocked
And it made yanty shocked too hahahahaa until I told her what happened and she was just in fits
Ok la bye hehahhe

If I didnt know what torture meant (05.18am)

The past 5 hours had been pure it.
My whole body radiated heat and I felt like my skin could blister anytime cause it was so painful I cannot for the life of me remember the last time I felt this bad
It also meant I keep waking up every hour, alternating between dwindling and rising temperature.
Pretty sure I hit a H°C on the thermometer hahaha cool never experienced that without rubbing the thermometer against a uniform hehehaha
I think 3-4am was the worst, I was transferring heat to my phones and they got smokin just by chilling beside me (hah irony so not chilling)
Right now though it's at the lower end, just enjoying a crazy headache (THEN WHY U BLOG)
Also sure that if anyone had checked on me once in the night they wouldve been worried lol cause it not normal
No idea if I can go for the vp photoshoot later, it would probably be the coolest thing ever but I cannot fathom the idea of going out today (despite having so many dream plans for the day- visit grandma, buy contact lens and costumes etc) they all remain a plan for now.
May the next time I wake up not be crazy ;')

+==edit==+
20.05pm

Stuck in bed the whole dayyyy idk how and why people choose to do this man hahaha so miserable but ehh i'll try embrace this for once
Though I should find food soon hahaha but everything still tastes bad (oh wait except for the egg prata i had yesterday oh my gosh it was the only thing- besides the apple that justine gave me- to taste nice)
Contemplating cancelling my shift tomorrow honestly
Thankfully class begins on tuesday- though it's morning and a hip hop class ahaha lolrandom
Also have a gig on that day before an afternoon class
Back to philoing!!!!
I miss it highkey
K am I depriving myself of recovery by depriving myself of icecream I think so
Should ask mama to buy some on her way home ehehhahahaheh

ps NOOO right as I published this edit mama reached home hahahaha no fate (unless i ask them to go out again...... probably not) I should go out.... (probably not)

I see the light! (11.02am)

Feeling at least 7 times better after waking up!
Alhamdulillah, I was pre-dreading the photoshoot tomorrow and was even considering skipping it (and not rehearsals today lol ok at least my priorities are rightfully sorted for once hehehahah)
Gotta get readyyy and leave soon!
Wow just realised I didnt even change to my pjs last night exactly how out of it was I :')
Regardless, here's to a better day ahead!
May food start tasting good again (though I can taste the bitterness)

Good reminder of can't even (01.06am)

It has been a roller coaster day and let me just bullet it
-Was almost 3 hours late for the photoshoot cause I woke up not feeling well and even though I woke up at 7am I could only even in the noon :')
-Photoshoot was fun thanks to all involved, my RVN looked amazing!
-Got locked out of the room we put our belongings in for what felt like an hour (probably not) and when we got in I finally got to eat
-Out of nowhere my temperature shot up again and I got super dizzy it was crazy
-Andrie realised that she forgot to pass us the camera lens while she was all the way at outram :') she had to travel back to school just to send it
-(was initially dreading travelling home cause public holiday but) Loved the journey home cause red white pride everywhere and people were smiley
-Talked about how I dread changing phone cause it's troublesome (hah S9 debacle continues)
-Saw the fireworks right as I wished I was watching it!
-Took the wrong bus home cause too engrossed watching fireworks + still dizzy as heckie dazzle (at least it wasnt totally wrong, it just made me walk 6 mins compared to 2 mins to reach home)
-Didn't go through with my idea of walking home barefooted hah
-Home alone, reviewed the photoshoot photos (tried to) while continueing my brunch
-Mama anga and chiqa came home and I got an major surprise... a new phone HAHAHA right after talking about it haisehhh it my advanced birthday present!
-Because it was so unexpected and I felt miserable I didnt know how to react cause like surreal but I also cant emote much hahaha
-I was so heaty my hand felt like it was generating heat
-Havent even opened my new phone cause I require hibernation
-Fell asleep at midnight after eating meds BUT WHY AM I AWAKE AN HOUR LATER

K end of ride I feel a lot better though but I still cant find it in me to continue reviewing the photos or set up the phone
Feel better soon self

+==edit==+
22.26pm

Not feeling any better booo
The worst part is how bland food tastes hahahah I should really eat now but I dont even want to cause I probably wont enjoy it
I even drank lemon tea at work and it tasted bluek
Somehow had fun conducting activities with iman (who i havent seen for so long??) though i wasnt functioning much
There was a 4 year old girl who kept kissing my cheeks and I mean kept doing it hahahah so cute
Grabbed home from work just to sleep and I just woke up actually, thought I could last the whole night hahaha who am I kidding
Needless to say I missed mcs' dinner D:
Was looking forward to it since the day I met kak suki outside our workplaces but hais hope to see them soon
Im home alone and the only thing I feel like eating is maggi (OH mama and the usuals went to the beach!!! Totally shouldve went there for extra quick healing)
Brb

National day! (01.38am)

Can you believe it's possible to be so occupied you didnt even get to enter national day mode because I CANNOT
Usually my ndp pride comes 2 months early and leaves 2 months late (or never) but this year I have yet to scream all the NDP songs at the top of my lungs (this sentence is biologically weird) (ha jk idk biology)
Work went well today although I unintentionally caused a mini panic attack hahahahaha crap la I really didnt mean to ok ;')
Saw an extremely cute chubby baby who is too cute I cannot I almost teared of joy that such a being exists (hahahaha drama)
After work I forgot to change from my crocs to my shoes so I ALMOST WENT OUT IN PUBLIC IN CROCS
(Let me embrace the collective eews because wtheck)
And I ONLY realised it after I changed out from my uniform
Dasar man
Ended up late to rehearsal by an hour BUT I GOT SUSHI
I think finally my sushi cravings are satiated, now stop disturbing me (i say as i plan to get sushi before work the next time i work ha ha ha)
Rehearsal was productive in a non-rehearsal way cause I finally caught up with a few admin stuff :')
Ended up taking the last bus home and I have to be in school in 9 hours for the concert photoshoot and I cry
Well at least we're 'consistently ranked top 15 in the most beautiful campus around the world' HAHAHA why did I remember this quote from the video they showed during this year's freshmen welcome week idk
(That was a long unnecessary sentence)
K la I should rest
Buenas noches

+==edit==+
08.47am

Supposed to leave home half hour ago but ehh
My dreams actually woke me up two minutes after my second alarm rang hahha what is this cool but why didnt the alarm work
And it was when I was gonna paint some nightingales with a kid cause her nightingale stickers were ruined lolrandom
I just want to play with makeup but im lazy to do the photoshoot how can I just go get my girls ready then sit and do nothing
Also it should be illegal to be in school during a public holiday!!!

+==edit==+
21.07pm

Finally settled down at home and I dont remember the last time I felt so heaty im having a headache im surprised I made it home (even though I did take the wrong bus home)
I was waiting for the bus while feeling like 'I wished I was watching the fireworks' and wallah it appeared and I could see it from the bus stop and in the (wrong) bus ride
Also I put an ice cube in my mouth and it hurts hahahaha this being rejects coldness
I shall rest, another long day ahead but 1) Work till 6pm and 2) Having dinner with MCS after what feels like foreverrrr
Get well fast dear me, I thought this was another fake fever but nOpe

TAKE IT SLOW (02.00am)

I should probably recharge soon
Work in 7 hours and then rehearsal!
I miss my RVN but half of them wont be appearing tomorrow booo0o D:

What is acceptable (03.27am)

Ehh wanted to blog but now I dont feel like typing
Brb then hahahah

+==edit==+
12.57pm

A gig in 2, 3 hours time (idk man) and me telling myself not to grab seems quite implausible as of now seeing that im in bed with a temperature
Working on tight schedule, excited but at the same time I dont want concert to come so fast cause it'll mean people flying overseas for exchange
My RVN will be split up for at least half a year D:
Ok I dont want to think about this I should get ready soon if I want to take public transport but.....
I feel so weak
(Hahahaha not really our song Sway is just in my head)

+==edit==+
18.06pm

Chillaxing while the rest are going for another round at the buffet
The food is naiseee (7 CHEERS FOR THE CHEE CHEONG FUN) but i cant find it in me to eat more lol
The performance went well hahhaa I was doing a pineapple dance idk what but why not
Looks like salon day is pushed back again since I have things to do
It ok man I still havent decided what to do also hahahhhais
Can we just not

I mean either way (00.13am)

I either fell asleep or woke up craving sushi and I ate two rounds of it today???
Be careful what u wish for hahahaha
But it was a good day
I dont know when i'll get tired of sushi i hope never cause it's so good to the world
Anyway this reminds me of the night at arnolds someone (farouq i believe) suddenly asked everyone which chicken part they preferred and im there like ???? as long as it chicken bruh (i'd say i like drumstick cause less bones to deal with) but taste wise i cannot have the time to taste the difference
This is also why I dont have a favourite number or holiday or whatever favourites there are (all my answers are just go-to answers really, some humans cant comprehend that some creatures do not do favourites)

I have a soundcheck tomorrow for a gig on tuesday- actually really troublesome why not both on the same day
Also means im working less days this week
Oh tried cajun on wheels today cause mama craving
As a human who dont spend money on food this was definitely not a necessity but the happiness of seeing everyone eating makes the food worth it? Idk im just babbling nonsense but meh wouldve been happy eating anything so no exceptions here

K I wanna go do nothing for a bit before having to care again hehee
Constantly reminding myself to live life because there's so much to do and see before I turn 22 (read this as twenty tewww) hahaahhaha ok why am I so against oldness bluek bye

ps 20 DAYS TO CONCERT?!?!?

+==edit==+
13.17pm

Demi is back ;')
Reading all the comments on her latest instapost made me emo early in the morning and it's not even morning
Especially (ok not biased at all) seeing the rock's comment hahahais legends supporting upcoming legends i cannot
Here's to a kickass recovery.
You can't back down there's too much at stake this is serious dont walk away (look at me not quoting camp rock)
(Also using aprostrophes when convenient)

Sometimes it works (02.07am)

Sometimes my indecisiveness leads to a good thing which is... I am very tempted to visit the salon tomorrow but bouncing between salon pages and what actually to do with my hair I think I shan't
Perhaps sometime before national day
IdK DO I EVEN NEED TO
No it's definitely a want
But I also want s9 but I dont need to pursue it
Ive been contemplating this hair thing since a few months ago pls hahahaha sometimes I really dont care but sometimes I just want to do something you feel me

Also no idea where I put my... I forgot the word.... hahah the iBanking thing (why is the word Dock in my head it is definitely not a dock what the heck are you ughh ok forget it I dont want to use my brain)
(im definitely simultaneously still trying to recall while telling myself to stop)
Half of me wants to stay home, do stuff and lepak tomorrow but half of me wants to go out to run external errands
We'll see la
Had a lovely day with harmonix which ended with arnold's dinner which was great but i didnt get ice cream so boo

Ooh almost (23.58pm)

No idea why I thought I blogged
But yes Happy 23rd birthday shammy lopez!
I love how your birthday is a few weeks before mine so you'll always be a year older than me cause if not we'll be the same age for a bit which is not cool cause you are old and I am not

Work went smoothly, me jumping around is like redemption for tuesday's lepak session.
A 2 year old became my escort today hahahaha and she also vandalized her own face and my hands

Im sleepy but I dont feel like sleeping
Rehearsal in 10 hours time (kinda, I still dk what time we're meeting hahahah)
This heart is restless- gotta go man.
Focus focus focus

Not today, again?! (01.21am)

Feels like im entertaining humans in phases now like once I start I do all the way but once I stop I stop totally
Hahaha bye man
Also I took out my laptop to do work but immediately I was like Nah and began to lie down
No idea if I should set my alarm cause ive been waking up quite consistently early this past week which is amazing
Also glad that I didnt agree to both thursday shift and a performance on saturday cause my focus now shall fully be on harmonix
(Aka yes give bahas a break)
Kkay, gotta settle my scheduling and update my to-do list tomorrow
Adeuuu!

+==edit==+
23.31pm

For once we end rehearsal early hahahah
And I neither settled my scheduling nor updated my to do list but it was a fun day thanks to RVN (ok actually full credit to baby izzul- one of the 5 babydolls chiqatito bought on tuesday hahahaah)
Ok a full shift coming up ahead tomorrow hopefully it's better than tuesday's (aka me moping around but at least there were humans for me to disturb zz)
Buenas noches

Merry August! (12.58pm)

Can we believe it's 25 days to the concert! (And of course 24 days to me turning 22 ewwww too much numbers i hate math gross)
Here's to a blessed, productive, acamazing month ahead ♡

Currently waiting for my hitch to school aka why are we meeting 6 hours before rehearsals noone knows hahahaha I love this dedication though
Also, in the midst of feeling sick-but-not-really do u feel me
Work yesterday thus wouldve been dreary if not for my workmates :')