How is it new year's eve (06.54am)

A year anniversary since the night somemonix spent some time crying together- and it happened again hahahaha
Why are the best people plagued with most nonsense
But then again, god gives his toughest battles to his strongest warriors.
I hope all of them find peace within themselves.
External support can do so much- they have to CHOOSE to accept their amazingness I love them all they are refried beans
Have to be in cck In 5 hours can I afford to sleep yes I can lets go power nap

Spilling teas (02.10am)

Ok just as im about to vlog about how we're still sharing stories over coffee, they decide to move so brb
Also los rana gusanos should sleep why r they awake but also I miss them hahaha

+==edit==+
03.15am

Ok finally settled down
Year end sales are a great thing- I dislike shopping generally (ok more like indifferent hahah like I lOVE gift shopping but i've never like Omg I need to go shop) but the sales are making me happy for no reason hahaha
Bought the pixi toner and it is glowing me likey
Ok I shall rest
I have consumed like 1 sip of water hah
Rehearsal in 12 hours time ay

And yes- Happy blessed birthday to the best mamemo in the universe hani rose the panda baby I love you like a frog loves frogging

+==edit==+
3.28am

Not so random thought maybe my stage name should be You so when anyone confesses to their crushes and gets rejected they can use me as a swerve
"You pfft not you YOU I meant the cool human you- don't be ridic"
Ok bye

+==edit==+
03.34am

Ok just kidding about the bye let me just talk about how blessed ive been
This afternoon while getting ready I was like where are all my eyeshadow palattes why do I only have 5 at my disposal
Lo and behold I come back with 2 more
Thanks my ASB people hahahah wished I could watch the eclair session

No not meee (00.18am)

So I started and ended my day in the kids club today witnessing 2 people with fever and now my temperature is rising like I could feel myself getting hotter literally this is not a joke and this is unnecessary hehahe

Time management hahah (05.06am)

I should nap before work
Work in 7 hours time but at least im home hahaha

+==edit==+
23.34pm

Had rehearsal and camp prepping yesterday, ended up staying till 3am lol it has been some time
But we got like 80% doneee which im relieved about
Just logistics and bootcamp left to brainstorm
Work was bearable, I feel out of self like im the child I cant take care of another child
But there were a lot of cute loving kids today hahahahu
Ok mama's birthday in 24 mins hehehe and mak ngah/nikki's birthday today- happy birthday my queens and princess zombie I love all of you ♡♡♡

Going gift shopping tomorrow before visiting ASB and then family outing for mama's birthday hehehu

Coolios (16.35pm)

Some people focus on the unnecessary it's mildly intriguing like does your brain really but ok if everyone focuses on the same thing there will be a lot of overlooked things so ok every weakness is a strength somehow also why is this sentence so long this is not what I was gonna blog about
I have somehow conjured the power to control my dreamflow like not lucid but I could pause and play the dreams to react to real life situation and then resume to continue the dream
It was weird though like every single time before the dream resumes I hear chantings and I have to ride a form of transportation (bicycles and scooters) in my dreams like as if to literally kickstart the story
The chants started scary but my semi-conscious self realises I need to go through it to enter back the dream realm
Sounds weird but I did it like 5 times throughout my sleep and I even went back to sleep to try and experience it again hahaha
Dreams are so weird, I love it.
And I guess the theory that dreaming is your brain's way of recollecting your thoughts is true
Like most of the things I think about will appear in my dreams.
But like is said, this is sometimes.
Other times the most randomest crabmeats still appear- like a human I forgot existed until I see them in my dreams
Once I fell asleep after looking at a gingerbreadman pillow and it appeared in my dream that night
Why am I talking about dreams I should get ready now I so lazy to moveee

Bad decisions (07.00am)

Er.ma.gerd I am a frog
I am currently at jstine's place with somemonix somehow ended up having breakfast together lol I have work in 5 hours and it's till 9pm am I gonna survive
First of all what's new but also like it feels like so long since i've done this
Daya is murmuring nonsense I love it she is drunk with lack of sleep

Merry xmas (01.34am)

Again, holiday joy is great but my schedule gets real tight im like having fun while lack of rest
But alas none of the tiredness matters once im home im awake like a fishball
Gotta be back at clarke quay in less than 9 hours for 2 more screaming sessions

+==edit==+
06.18am

And today my body clock woke me up at 5.50am thanksies

Bluek (01.17am)

Peasants is when I make a WWE reference and the people I say it to dont get it hahahahahah

+==edit==+
20.07pm

Me tired my voice es not health but I can't help it when people stop to listen to us I feel the need to scream more and thus not healthening my vocal cords
Tired but... it's xmas eve and I love the holiday season everyone is in a good lively mood me love it
I want to go homeeee but too shagged to move hahahah too much man (to be fair I woke up early but cmon man it's only 8pm THE NIGHT IS STILL YOUNG SO ARE WE)
My existance refuses to do anything hmx keeps eating im tired of eating when im not hungry hahahais takpelah rezeki but still

+==edit==+
20.53pm

Have I told you I always get sad at the thought of undertaker retiring
I will sell my friends if he unwarningly gets inducted into HOF because I want to cry live
Also por favor please warn me like 7 months before I need to prepare my heart and soul
Oh wait the phenom doesnt never retires ever
Teletubbies will retire before him

A break is a break (01.03am)

Thought i'd be hibernating today but I still got a break even though I was complaining hahaha
My legs hurt like I just finished wrestling class but trust me yesterday was far from wrestling class
Ok let me settle down

Ayy lol (01.24am)

Dang it was gonna type 1.23 but the time changed hahah
Quite tired weirdly (ok not so weird seeing my resting schedule)
Managed to be quite productive today, doing lame adult banking stuff to auditioning a group of future starbabies to planning for camp
Another long day tomorrow but hopefully it brings joy heheh

+==edit==+
06.21am

Body clock has been muy consistente this past week hahaha
Which is why I feel tired faster at night
Oh wells i'll nap in the noon

+==edit==+
08.14am

Oh the rare times I become the wake up call ok not that rare but mymonix usually wake up without assistance
Shall I head to clark quay or not
Perhaps yes

+==edit==+
23.38pm

Still in school, exhausted physically which is lame but understandable cause what is up with me being normal
Spent the past few days trying to rest my throat and voice but it all goes down the drain today (not that it was fully recovered) after screaming for a gig Val banned me from singing
I was the earliest for the gig i'm not involved in hahahah pride
Also I learnt that including my rolling in bed procrastinating time, 4 hours before an event is the ideal time for me to start waking up heheh
Ok interviewing now

What am I doing to me (03.53am)

The title is a reference to the video im processing right now
Aka jertan trying to get his lyrics for 10 mins straight
I cannot even handle hahaha
To be fair I had not the easiest time internalizing the lyrics
But honestly it's just cause the lyrics are gramatically disgusting and makes not much common sense
Also I should be sleeping
Meeting some of my exco members heheh informally before champs audition in 8 hours time
Honestly dk what to look out for but I trust guts
Bismillah

WeIrD (16.05pm)

Why is formalities so unnecessary
Emails are the worst
Why must I sign off EVERYTIME u KNOW who youre talking to (SURPRISE IT ME IT'S SENT FROM MY EMAIL)
And we have the whole
Dear loser,
And you unnecessarily have to THINK about how to address them (dont get me started on unisex names like are you a Ms or Mr wHAT)
And why is it that married and single women have different titles but men have ONE noone can get it wrong
This is unnecessary let me just insta dm you
Oh well, at least email doesnt tell you when their mail is read ha ha ha

+==edit==+
17.11pm

My body clock woke me up at like 6am today
No idea what time I slept
My only hibernation day for the month haha thank god for rain it's making me feel better for staying home

+==edit==+
19.44pm

I knew colleen was pregnant BEFORE hmx's concert?!?!?!
Totally do not feel like it
Finally watched her gender reveal video which I avoided cause I hate suspense and now the baby is safely delivered I can go watch hahah

+==edit==+
21.51pm

Feeling very productive right now
I knew once I switched on the laptop i'll be on a roll and overworking aka doing 7 things at once it may seem counter productive but it's how I get many things done at once I am just a born multitasker
Editing video + Proposal + Camp planning + Poster making + Subcomm recruiting + Future present and past projects lets do this
Also where is my half cup of coffee I want
I should just go get it

A chiller week hopefully (17.03pm)

Not literally I love the sunshine
But yes currently somehow at work hahah
Thought today would be hibernation day but not happening
Ironically tomorrow imalwaysbusyonwednesdays is my only free day so far

What is the worth (01.40am)

Feels so lovely to be makeup free but my hair still has hairspray imma need to visit the salon for this because I have no strength left in me to shampoo multiple times
I realise I haven't gotten to spend time with my babies nephews nieces and cousins
Aghh talking about babies just now before we danced a cute babyboy was asked by his mum to take a photo with us and I held out my hand to show him where to stand but HE HELD MY HAND omy I can still feel the tiny baby hands grasping me until the mum was done taking photos
I am physically done so I will either wake up from this sleep fully sick or healed or still the same or hahahaha im hoping for the best
Tis the season to be jolly
My voice is feeling the burn from screaming soprano notes hahaha mr bean in a seashell
Didnt even get to finish my dinner
Hais ok I should sleep
Will probably reply emails and messages tomorrow
I havent updated my calendar this week cause I dread to see how filled it will be
I survived the past week great-
Nothing is new!

+==edit==+
15.34pm

Why am I emotional over my own writing hahahah this is high key self love
Also I feel better but my voice hahaha on the brink of adjusting and fighting through its lackof
At least nothing is hurting
Meeting the music comm later
Complained to my fam that I didnt get to see Barney like THE DAY I finally have time to spare, HE'S GONE
And there were mixed reactions
Mama: If Barney could hear you now he will say "It's your fault for not coming to see me"
Chiqa: Immediately plays Barney videos on youtube
So mad right now hahahahaha but yes this is an insatiable desire for now.
Please come back soon I will be there.

A few of my favourite things (01.41am)

Other than beaches and ice cream and cake,
Family time is the best
Especially when Stylo is involved yall troublemakers I love it
We were playing makeup-half-the-face up till midnight when I realised I am lamely obliged to go home for morning duty
But insyallah keeping my head high, just a few hours to tank then I can go back to the comfort of hmx
Happy 21st birthday Cena, i'm sure I have been there your whole life and I will continue doing so because we are the ultimate tag team hehehehe

I'm gonna be annoyed at myself (02.57am)

I keep putting off blogging events that I might forget what I did
Bleagh
Need a day to just sit down and... edit all posts.
I had a lovely day, not as tired as yesterday/the past 2 days
Went for a random gig at an xmas party, lovely crowd hahah
Then dinner at 2 places with somemonix before homeee

Tomorrow noon with hmx, then a wedding of one of my jentera baiduri's mate before going back to hmx for caroling
Supposed to be dancing but no updates means no rehearsal ha ha ha
Ok I wanna restish
Adeu

+==edit==+
03.14am

As expected as soon as my head hits the pillow all tiredness goes away isnt this the opposite of settling down hahaha
But I am like so ready to watch colleen's birth video BUT I dont feel like crying and I am 101029% sure I will cry ugh lets just do it now

+==edit==+
09.05am

Did I ever mention new me is a frogmeat yes I have why must I FEEL responsible eww
I had my day planned properly and I just had to be greeted with extra task which is so inconvenient and I owe them nothing and it is very unnecessary I should just say Nah mate and NOT
But eh.
I guess I could spare a few peasant minutes

+==edit==+
18.56pm

3/4 to do things completed for the day and I am quite tired
Not a good feeling this festive season but hey hustling but not overworking ah idk what im doing anymore
Supposed to go to grammy's place but I am quite ready to crash
Would be very nice to be with stylo though
Ok yup khali just texted this is fate hehehe
Tomorrow's calltime is freaking 8.30am and I have a gig at night too hehehehahhehehehahehehehahhehehehahehehe

+==edit==+
21.43pm

Highkey mentally and physically tyred, but we're playing with makeup hahahah
I know cena wont read this now so im just gonna say here that WE HAVE CAKE IN THE FRIDGE HEHEHE
Also im torn between staying till midnight to cut cake and going to hibernate for tomorrow
Eh who am I kidding self care who
K bye

Who knew (00.59am)

I realised what it is
I'm tired but not tired enough you get me
Like if i'm exhausted I can be like "Ah I need to hibernate im exhausted"
But now im like I still can do things
So in this weird state of tired but still excited to do things, I embrace the upcoming few days of performances, rehearsals and reunions

+==edit==+
03.32am

Is this a joke am I issuing a challenge to myself because what the heck I should be sleeping of all things
StAP

+==edit==+
19.21pm

Your issues are not mine
But it is.
Pftfahsiwmshoznzvxz

Que pasa (03.35am)

Didn't plan to stay out this late
Walked into rehearsal to someone asking if im sick and that I looked tired
I dont particularly feel sick but definitely not the best but eh i'll survive
I probably need a temporarily better lifestyle to replace my cells and reenergize myself
Had a lovely day, but yes I am quite shagged in my brain. (Or around)
Insyallah all will be well!

So much to life (03.26am)

We are young.
We should have fire in us, relentlessly shoving disbelievers away
We will get somewhere and we will find success in our own terms

Gotta be in school in 8 hours for christmas crash course and then a gig in the evening
Looking forward!
Also had a lovely day with halfmosaic they are so weird and talented we are 3 generations of amazingness

Where have I been (20.21pm)

I had a great weekend!
Also very tiring on Sunday morning I couldnt produce much noises like I was perfectly in tune in my head but my voice felt so tired it was painful to speak
But harfreakinmonix always always pulls through
I love them like loser frogs
Today was supposed to be a semi-productive day but hey it's ok to lepak I have been exhausted.
Already looking forward to more rehearsals hehahe.
Tomorrow it starts?

Obviously occupied day (05.31am)

Spent 18 hours with the voices team today, from costume shopping to rehearsals and walking from City hall to Lavender hahaha
Very very proud of how far we've come
Every new group takes time to love but once you hit it, it's a yassss through and through
Felt quite emotional after the last full run because I felt every one of them trying their best ahhhh

Also omg USS later I should be asleep
I cant scream on rides much hahah unless my throat warms back down before later
Okey imma nap hehe

+==edit==+
15.33pm

Currently in line for Jurassic world and im trying so hard not to talk but it's so hard
My throat needs rest I literally took 1 ride and scrum (hah) and my throat just bam hurt
On the 2nd coaster I realised I didnt have to scream but I still had to squeal and convey chiqa to open her eyes
All in all I will need to consume honey lemon drink x5 a day
Insyallah we'll all be at optimal, calm condition by when tomorrow comes around

Ahh after some time (03.43am)

Havent been awake at this time for the past 2 nights so my currently normal body clock is telling me my eyes are tired
Buenas noches, i'll try to sleep
Have to head to the airport in the morning and then a fullmonix day of torture

Oh hm (01.36am)

Why is it that the day i'd need the most rest is the day my body refuses to rest
Whatever im here to say that priyanka chopra's wedding veil is 75 foot long (I have no idea how long that is but it IS long from the video footage) and I love this level of extreme my bridal train will be as long as hogwarts express

Aliens. Also, I need a boost (02.23am)

So I was too sleepy to continue my essay so I set my alarm for a 1.5 hour nap but here we are almost 4 hours later haha
Hoping to complete it before 6am and then sleep and not go to work early cause estoy muy cansado
Also, happy birthday to my (now married T.T) pink alien and brother! ♡

ps troye is touring and coming to singapore i am very excited yet weirded out cause freaking cuteboi on youtube is now a world famous singer i am so proud he has made it and i definitely would go see the little bean

+==edit==+
10.45am

I. Did. It!!!
I feel so free after every essay hahaha I enjoyed writing it though, reaching from 1k to 3k words felt tortorous but after the 3k mark words were flowing out like tapwater thanks brain.
Also asked to go to work later.
I just have 1 more essay to do and I dont even know if it's too late to submit but imma try my luck hah I dont need no burden.
OK here's to an amazing week ahead!
Also voices in 5 days but we are barely done with our songs hahahahaha hashtag trust 

+==edit==+
22.52pm

Alhamdulillah today went smoothly, although my manager has been asking if I was tired since yesterday haha
She said I looked very tired but ironically both days I had human amount of sleep
Another long day tomorrow but it's hmx
Concert venue viewing actually, I am stoked!

Random thought (19.07pm)

Totally typed am in the title hahaha too used to it
Got to nap a little before waking up for work and wouldve made it on time if not for the slowest taxi driver on earth but hey at least we arrived safely haha ha
Also the kids club was empty when I arrived, only a piece of seaweed was there
(That is a human btw)
Got an email from my prof asking if im gonna submit my essay hahaha ha ha yes sure looks like I have the next 4 hours ahead to do it I cannot with reverse psychology with niceness
Work was the most peaceful I felt after so long but ironically it was quite busy.
Also have been listening to new humans and I realised how much I missed my demdems so im on a demibinge hehe
Hopefully i'll reach home before/at 7.30pm I either need a power nap or food there is no nego

Also (wow I said like 22927 alsos in this post) randomly thought of how it's vlogmas season!
I always love vlogmas videos hahaha
Ok dizzy bye, may you have an amazing day ahead anytime your eyes land on this sentence!

Buenos dias! (13.21pm)

It's not even morning hahaha but I woke up at 7
See, my existance is entirely capable of normal sleep schedule
I slept right as I got home at like 10.30pm
I should be getting ready now omg must be at the studio in an hour
Also wot mate the items has been cut to one i've learnt before :')
I feel so well rested and cared for by the universe- hmx rehearsal was also called off today BUT I will still meet them later at the beach
Ok I shall get a headstart on my day
Wish me luck (pfft i dont need luck i have skills)
But good vibes goes a long way so

Merry December! (01.33am)

December looked weird I was thinking Dancember hahaha
I dont feel like sleeping but that wouldnt be a wise choice seeing the week(end) ahead of me hehehe
Excited but we'll take it one step at a time.
Still havent finished my essays hahahaha at least I read half of Analects AND Philosopher's stone
Long hmx day ahead, may it all be amazing

+==edit==+
03.28am

Trying to get on top of my vlogging game
So much footage nonexistant editing
Hahahaha

+==edit==+
22.40pm

Home after a long day and sleepless night
Thought of doing my essay but I wanna rest
Another day of rehearsals tomorrow and hopefully i'll be able to join the hmx outing

So is this a thing (01.42am)

Feels tired for a good reason today because I feel accomplished
Chloe and I did the whole day together hahaha
Also I hope my body clock wakes me up at 8 again cause I have an essay due tonight
Also I hope the essay is not more than 2.5k words because I have no content to bullcrap
More rehearsals today, was supposed to be my day off but ehhhh gig on Saturday gotta be good
Today was a blessssss I had fun

Some sense of normalcy (03.56am)

Had a lovely day with somemonix, rehearsing and brownies and dinner was amazing with the losers why are they all so interesting and weird I love it
It's performance day!
Going out in the morn to check out a potential gig venue at a country club before heading for rehearsal and getting ready for the performance
And then ending the day with more rehearsals heheh

So now the decision I have to make is whether I should attempt to sleep or start reading Harry potter
My being is not sleepy but it would be great to be recharged before I have to leave home in 7 hours time
We'll see but for now i'm definitely leaning towards reading
I might stay in bed until I finish everything hehaheha jk I have self control (do I)

+==edit==+
08.18am

Well rested after 3 hours, had really eventful dreams but I didnt want to face my screen so I didnt record it down
Fell asleep reading hahaha what wholesomeness
Woke up greeted by hagrid and harry when I should be reading Analects for the essay due tomorrow heh.heh.
Analects, Harry potter, whats the difference
Ok imma go do my nails and then read Analects (or philosophers stone again)

Oh my beachball (00.05am)

How long have I not blogged hahaha this is terrible
Brb, am on my way home from being "very productive" at macs with mummy and chiky

+==edit==+
05.52am

I actually slept like a human yesterday, I wasn't feeling particularly tired but I guess I was from the way I fell right asleep when I got back home from work
Think I woke up at 8am which was such a humanly behaviour but of course today I had to go back to my usual.

Kinda at peace but my schedule is a huge issue.
So many things coming up and I want to make time for everything but having just recovered from a lame fever, I also want to take it slow and enjoy my holidays (ok fine I have 2 more submissions psht dont @ me)
Rehearsal later today plus I will attempt to finish 1 and 2/6 of my essays
A performance tomorrow and also on Saturday
Probably (still deciding, honestly) going for dance training on Sunday (can you believe it idk I only agreed cause it was supposed to be an item I knew but suddenly it was one very-long-untouched item and one totally foreign new one so im reconsidering really hard)
Supposed to be working on Friday but I think i'll take the day off to complete my essay (seeing how I am motivated to finish one by today the deadline was last....week.... bleah)
And then next week onwards will just be crazy crazy but at least I can focus 100% on harmonix and not school for the next month or so.

I should rest.

Oh two kids whom I befriended a few months ago checked into the hotel again and idk it was so nice to see familiar faces.
The boy was so sweet he keeps defying gender stereotypes but it was sad that he was embarrassed over things that he should be least embarrassed about (aka what kind of movies he liked to watch- he said dont tell anyone so im not gonna mention it here)
I also see a lot of parenting differences and I love parents who teaches their kids to be polite and considerate humans like your kids are never too young to learn to be a nice person I promise you

I feel like taking a full shower and eat
How did we do this for 12, 13 years of our lives waking up at this very hour just to get to school on time
How and why

+==edit==+
07.40am

I have to start getting ready in 2 hours anyway
I could take an afternoon nap in school yas sounds like a plan

+==edit==+
15.33pm

Can you believe my current most repeated songs are Queen's Don't stop me now and PTX's Attention
The latter is because (besides the fact that it's ptx) we're performing it at the gig tomorrow haha ha
The former is just a GrEaT song like I wished I wrote it hahaha
Thanks Bohrep for reminding me of their greatness

Buenos dias! (10.51am)

Why am I awake early ok cause I fell asleep early (ish hah I think 4 plus I slept cause the rest did too)
This hotel's duvet is lovely wot
And you know half of me wants to go swimming all day long but half of me knows there's humans and just wants to chill in the room most probably this cause it's so cold
Mate I literally just finished swimming 8 hours ago
I need my youth back- Chiqa would be the best companion in this she WILL want to swim every minute and same
May today be a lovely day too!
I am exhausted why did I choose to rehearse tonight and work tomorrow this is not a thing

I actually did it (02.54am)

So the good thing is im getting the hang of my current sleep cycle (fully nocturnal I sleep at 8am and wake up at 1pm)
The not so good thing is baby chiqa's cycle LINES UP WITH MINE
She is a child she supposed to slept but noOooO she awake

I actually finished my essay seemed undoable but eh the topic was fun and i'm an experienced buller so there's that
Actually good debatable topic though, on whether we should accept the idea that for a thing to be good for someone, it has to resonate with the person.
Bless philosophy for encouraging my far fetched thinking
Though school as an institution still halts it who the meowth care

Im also excited to meet north pole later heheh less than 12 hours time for our staycation
We literally meet once a year which is a crazy bummer but it really feels like no time has passed since the last time we met
It's crazy, but they're precious
Okey I shall lepak and see if my existance wants to sleep

+==edit==+
04.36am

I just realised how weird this blogging style is
It's like meant to be a diary but I am talking to someone
And if anyone reads it i'm probably close to you anyway so why am I speaking like this
Ok not the point
Point is Taman is doing soooo well
As much as everyone wants Tauke to find a replacement for Pak yus, we all know it is impossible.
Man is an amazing addition to Tauke's humour and he's probably the closest to being a Pak yus replacement to bring back Jambu's comedy.
I appreciate Man for his own style, brain and jokes.
Taman is the best combination we can have now and I love watching them every week.
Onwards to success!!!!

Taking control (04.34am)

Trying to make myself fall asleep cause I want early mornings and I have to do 2 essays by tonight

No no no (07.09am)

I shocked myself seeing that the sun is out
Was engrossed doing hmx stuff lol now my whole body is aching because I just realised that I am was were are cold
I should sleep but I have to leave home in 2 hours so I don't think i'll risk a powernap now
Here's to a productive, feel-good (and I mean really feel good me still not cured but me played in the rain just now it should counteract to my sickness) day ahead
Brunch, hmx, dance, essay, and then hopefully I can finally crash and hibernate for a bit.

Just accept it ok hahaha (03.40am)

One way or another
There's a lot of risks I can take, the only question is whether i'm willing to
Do I even want to?

+==edit==+
07.05am

So last night I was mad at Chiqa for not behaving, and then she got mad at me because I was mad at her
As always, she wrote me an apology letter and in it she also mentions that she doesnt enjoy going for dance because the girls are not even friends with her, they bullied her (i'd think more of disturb) in homework sessions before so they bother her more than she enjoys their company
I totally understand man, seeing the company
It is true to a small extent that company matters- at least in the developmental stage
I used to think otherwise but having a baby sister is changing some of my perspectives.
But these kinds of things also make me wonder how far do we go to protect a child versus let them learn on their own?
Goat dangit parenting is a whole new level up of life what even
Oh she was asking mama to wake her up at 7am but she stayed up all night cause she was afraid she would oversleep- get this- to make me breakfast
Yes every hearts are allowed to melt and cry tears of touchedness because what is this small human thinking
She has always been the sweetest human and I hope she keeps this side of her close to heart.
I love you babycakes!!!
The world may try to toughen you up but stay sensitive and kind regardless.
This applies to everyhuman.
Even, sadly, to grown adults whom I thought were stable enough to remain consistent but alas.

On a lighter note hahaha I told her to count sheeps and she looked at me like I was mad "But I cant see sheeps"
"PRETEND"
I forgot that it's not an everyday part of life hahaha
Who am I to tell her to sleep when i'm here
Well I tucked her into bed so let's see if she sleeps or remains awake
I have an essay due tonight and I wanted to start yesterday but the slides were so boring
How could a topic so interesting be so watered down
I'm sure the prof meant well but meh mismatch of style
It ok i'll try anyways
Actually going to school bluek but for harmonix so it good
May today be a great day!
(also dont too rainy plssss it good to motivate me to sleep though)

Payoff (01.16am)

Sleeping all day means stay up all night
I feel like eating chocolates hmmm i'd suggest to myself a late night grocery trip but I might have chocolates in the fridge we'll see
Imma go blast myself with cold shower for a bit

+==edit==+
18.55pm

It takes virtues and luck to save a sinking ship
One without the other is doomed to fail
Thanks for pulling out of this fight early

+==edit==+
19.53pm

Ew I thought I was well but I was trying to speak menacingly and my voice sounded like the epitome of flu haaha aoosh i almost stepped on a cat AW THE CAT IS RUBBING AGAINST ME I LOVE U CAT U R SO FAT AND U MAKE ME FEEL BETTER ALREADY BABIES
Walking to dance rehearsal now and I hope the kids behave well today of all days I need calmness I am not 100% physically but mentally im unstoppable (so unstoppable im crossing the road while blogging)
(Ok thats called irresponsible road using)
Bye

+==edit==+
19.58pm

Ok I cannot im thinking of the cat just now and i need more cats
Or babies or both yes both

+==edit==+
22.05pm

Dont feel like entertaining humans and my brain hahaha just take a self declared holiday everyone
Didnt want to go home, didnt want to go out
So I did the only logical thing
Went to NTUC to grocery shop
Lol and somehow ended up feeling better
Having dupper now

Probably should have expected it (04.11am)

Holiday seasons upcoming means my nocturnality kicks up 15 notches
I have work in 8 hours but im considering taking the day off or at least come in late- still not feeling the best
The changes within the place is making work dreary, and being in this weird mix of not-senior-enough but not new at all is not helping hahahah
Hopefully it all gets better
Have been on a feel-good video binge and I should probably sleep soon

+==edit==+
15.47pm

I guess being sick now is helping me put things into perspective and making it clearer what I want and need (eh) to prioritize
Skipped work today couldnt even attempt to come in late
Awaiting my macs delivery before either hibernating more or starting on one essay.

+==edit==+
22.48pm

Waiting one day before I find medicine but the hibernation is real but I keep waking up every two hours and everytime it's a weirdcool series of dreams
Working tomorrow, I hope I feel better soon insyaallah

I understand but still (03.36am)

After 2 nights of properish sleep, my body's had enough hahah
Back to nocturnality
No plans today but 2 essays due next week so that should probably be my plan hahah
Crazy few weeks ahead but hey im doing things I like I think

+==edit==+
16.43pm

What did I do why am I down with flu (poetry unintended)
Think I fell asleep at 7am and
Ok soz my bus is here

+==edit==+
18.37pm

Finally settling down and three things
1) Didnt alight the bus cause of laziness and found myself driving past a friend's house- what was once a random stretch of road is filled with memories
2) The sky is so beautiful I was admiring for so long I didnt get a photo but hey my eyes are happy
3) Wizarding world IS ABOVE ME RIGHT NOW I will attack it once I ate and drank something hot
My throat hurts I hope hydration works
Hoping for honey lemon my magic potion to make this feel better

+==edit==+
22.29pm

Winding down with healthy macs food, nail polish and an inspiring view
I dont feel like thinking and things are helping me clear my mind (ayy got one baby roaming on her own her mum is so far away saying bye she is still walking alone)

Deadlines are arbitrary (17.26pm)

've been on a bublé mood since Love you anymore came out idk how many months ago i've never been a seeker of his music like I know his voice is amazing and that he is a christmas elf but that was it
Until LYA came out and then I finally felt pulled to hear Havent met you yet in full hahahahaha and I realise his voice and songs actually brings actual joy to my soul omg I cannot even it is magic
And now his new album is coming out so hello
I hope all goes well with his life and son.

In the meanwhile watched Crimes of grindewald last night with chiqa to make up for her being mad that my 10-mins-nap-before-I-finish-my-assignment-and-then-bring-you-out turned into an hour nap where I didnt even do my assignment because the deadline was said to be today instead of yesterday (to be fair I was not feeling well too so I needed that 40 extra minutes hahaha)
Ended up catching the 11pm screening and I thought i'd be loster than I was cause I hadnt watched the first fantastic beasts
But yes it was naising

Going to catch Vocaexchange tonight highkey lazy to travel cause while AMK may seem near to my home nothing is near if there is no direct bus there pfft
3 essays left to submit before-
OMGOSH yes Barney is coming to city square!!!!!
I WILL spend 200$ in 2 weeks so I can see him 4 times
Crazy and also I will cry tears of joy everytime I see him so nobody can see him with me bye

+==edit==+
Lol right after above I checked his Instagram and turns out he JUST got his hollywood star of fame today what meowth

+==edit==+
21.07pm

Aw man Queen is playing during intermission
They were so good so far it's making me do some serious self reflection
I always said I love performing but I never realised exactly how much.
Seeing people on stage makes me annoyed cause I should be on it
So yes I am excited for the rest of the night, keep on rocking the crowd guys!

It was so high energy, and every song felt like it could be the finale.
What the actual heck

Internal alarm (08.40am)

Had a sudden dizzy spell last night after dancing, and I felt so nauseous and my temperature was high but I feel so much better after sleeping hahaha
Now im not early for work
I should stop giving 9.30s hahah what am I doing
Here's to a grand day ahead!

Blessings (02.48am)

Supposed to leave home to meet Yol in like 5 hours time
Our longggg delayed breakfast outing (the previous two were at Geylang hahaha) but this year we push the limits further by dropping ourselves at Tampines before floating back to school

Alhamdulillah for today.
I should rest for a bit heh

+==edit==+
03.53am

I guess as long as we are not careless in selecting what to care less about, you be chill

Game plan didnt game (02.52am)

So at 10 plus pm I told myself to sleep and then wake up at 4 to kickstart the day
But here I am uhhharmonix rounds of spyfall and quizarium later (i hate werewolf they always accuse me at the wrong time and place)
Should take a nap now and wake up to do my essays hahahaha....

+==edit==+
14.50pm

Living student life on the edge at its finest, alhamdulillah I survived
Woke up late haha aka snoozed my alarm until it was 10.30am and realised I had 2500 words to write
Weirdly 2000 took forever I gave up writing at 1350 words but when I sat in class (after printing it I realised there was one UNFINISHED SENTENCE HAHAHA I mean it wasnt bad just grammarly unsatisfactory) I decided to whip out my phone and edit it and somehow managed to reach 1965 words.
Right as cikgu was going to collect the paper I realised I had to go out to print the edited one and while walking from class to the printer managed to surpass the 2017 words count.
Also I did my 500 words reflection in the grab and was like "O crap how to reach 500 idk what to write" but hi when I took a break to look out the window I realise I wrote almost 800 words already
I love words
Hahahaa ok bye here's to a fantabulous day ahead

No big deal (00.08am)

Just 2 presentations, one Group dance assessment, 3 million emails and 4 essays to complete and I have not one of them ready hahahah
What is new though it's ok i'm quite a professional procrastinator
I spent today spamming Queen videos which felt weird cause like I said, with things due later today that is probably not the thing I should be doing
I think humans hate me- literally when im free as a bird nobody and I MEAN NOBODY wants to disturb me with tasks or nonsense or even stupid questions
But when i'm building the pyramids and the great walls of china suddenly everyone from eVERYWHERE decided it is a great time to text and email and call and pm and dm me and I. DO. NOT. CONDONE. THIS. BEHAVIOUR
It also shows how different I treat humans nowadays- I used to be the fastest responder on planet earth see efficiency is mine but now hahahahahah you'd be lucky if I replied within 3 (working) days
I'll probably revert to my old style because I like being there for people no matter the nonsense
Also the feeling of having to reply to so many messages in a row is not cool
Ok I have things to do but we'll take it one step at a time, survive these 2 weeks and celebrate with a staycation with north pole before resuming my harmonix duties
Here's to a legendary month ahead

+==edit==+
02.22am

Go on, keep finding and recreating and redefining your happy place
Still havent gotten anything done (ok fine maybe academically- I was Harmonixing which is importanter)
Ehh.
I've done it once i'll do it again

+==edit==+
04.12am

Should I sleep idk im not sleepy but I also don't feel like doing work (aka oh no I might have primed myself to do my best most efficient work while im lying down in bed on my phone)
(Not complaining but it means my day attempts at doing work has a 60-40 chance of working)
All will be well hahha

+==edit==+
22.00pm

I survived today well, alhamdulillah!
Being fully honest made things easier- sometimes i'm too lazy to explain stuff so today I straight up told my prof "I have nothing" for my 3rd presentation of the day.
Ended well cause he helped me think through my final essay.
This class deserved more of me honestly, they were willing to listen and were so eager and earnest to actually learn each other's viewpoints.
Ehh we learn from mistakes haha.
Also people should realise that other people have different timelines.
This shiz may take you 3 weeks but it will take me 3 hours and vice versa.
Just respect each other they know themselves best man.
(But also provide support just BE A DECENT HUMAN OK)

Also with the little pockets of time I have between events, what did I choose to do?
Fill in more events!
Hahahah it's ok I can lepak on Sunday
My agendaer self would be happy she has things to cross off
Ok now I have 2 essays due tomorrow at 1.30pm (thankfully just 2.5k words in total), and have to zoom to punggol in the morning to mak yah's house before going for afternoon class.
And then a family dinnerrrr

Now Thursday is a whole different story aka me accidentally scheduling people at the same time and day hahahahaha..haha..
I need a PA but I trust myself best ok fine
Here's to a beautiful day ahead, Insyaallah!

Wot m8 (23.32pm)

Had a seemingly overwhelming amount of tasks at hand but after writing it all down in an agenda, it feels manageable now.
Here's to a successful efficient and productive fun week ahead

Mindset changes my world (00.36am)

I wanted to blog about something but I was right outside my door but now I forgot hahaha

+==edit==+
17.18pm

What a day it has been hahaha
Weird ups and downs but amazingly my spirit is not faltering I mean mind over matter always all ways
And I realise there's always a reason for things and there's always people there if you reach out for it.
Supposed to be at a soundcheck 19 mins ago but I couldnt get any modes of transportations at all so I wasted an hour waiting for a miracle lol I mean gan jing yong saves my life by booking me a grab
Here's to a smooth, fun performance with my botols! ♡

Heartwarming, but mixed emotions still (02.04pm)

I can't put it into words yet.
Soon.

Ultimate power move (00.17am)

Right as I made a decision to put myself first, I felt so much freer and happier and facebook was just all inspiring stories so like ayy good call
External showcase in 19 hours time, excited and hopefully it all goes smoothly insyaallah.
Ended up having a good day!
Finally learnt the hiphop routine and went for a short rehearsal with somemonix before running to hougang to surprise grandpapa for his birthday.
He cried tears of joy seeing the whole family there with a cake ahhhh atok we love you so very much this is the LEAST we could do for you :') ♡
Then we went to eat but like the food was terrible hahahahah eh we were too happy with the company to care.
Also reminded me how things may be shitty but with the right company, it gets bearable and even laughable.
It further motivated my decision making to put my happiness first.
Meeting them again in a few hours time because we are frogs who stick together heh.
May we wake up to a grand day of being productive, present and positive, insyaallah!

That person (01.58am)

If you can't (or can't be bothered to) change a situation, at least change the way you think about it
Went bowling after work today and at my last shot, I got a spare (which was necessary for me to beat pak sani who was leading) so I was celebrating but the machine said I got 9 u frog
But this made me think that no matter what happens this week (especially with my hiphop progress) nothing will be as bad as that uncounted spare.
Gotta be in school in 8 hours time, completely unnecessary and I am definitely not happy about it but at least i'm meeting somemonix and spending the second half of the day with family (stylo reunion finally????)
Also, Happy deepavali!

Patience is virtue (04.12am)

We go through so much mini changes as a person it sometimes feel weird or like "Is this a phase or" but eh redefining the self should be a norm alongside the whole "Be who you truly are" stuff
My definition of I already slept is a 45 min nap in the bus on my way home
So yes
Thinking of an early day at vivo perhaps
I could brunch and do work while people watching because it is a known fact that I will not willingly do assignments unless I tell myself to (? this makes no sense but it does)
Either that or i'd end up falling asleep and waking up just in time to grab to work
Hopefully it's the former because a good breakfast with coffee sounds good right now
(my brain is already telling me to cook my own breakfast and i agree but like when is a good time to)

Not cool? (11.33am)

Half of me is like I need a literal week off why do I suddenly have a helloweek when I am not supposed to but the other half is like How do you think John cena succeeds do u think he complained about 1 hell week I dont think so
I both want to hibernate and not stay home what does this even mean
I just know im being spread very thin and I need to just choose what makes me happy
Life is too precious for a second of loserness.
Insyaallah my journey is eased.

+==edit==+
17.48pm

I think the rainy season is encouraging my lepak tendency
Not the right time seeing all the looming deadlines and people I shouldn't have to be responsible to
Disgusting
Anyway I snacked so much today cause I don't feel like eating real food
I guess it's not abnormal seeing that it's my 2nd day
Idk
I could either be productive (I really dont think so) or get ready to leave the house soon
I think being outside would help boost my morale for whatever reason
Oof the rain is getting heavier

Also I heard my family talking to my neighbour this morning (my neighbour is a cute chubby boy) and it made me want to jump up and say hello to the cutie but alas

00.16am

Wanted to blog about something but I forgot what hahah
Anyway today started bluek because people around me were weird but eh free test of patience
Soundcheck for the gig then headed to town to buy our risotto again and then got crepe.... delishes.
K I still forgot what I was gonna blog about

+==edit==+
02.13am

OH I remembered
MLM season is back!!!!
Watched half so far and only Taman made me laugh hahaha (ok joras did a bit and omg the insane addition of ropie inside.... INSANE I LOVE IT)
I watched Bocey, 2B, Cilok, Joras, Taman and Dani (?) and will continue soon
The panel of judges is such a weird thing???
Besides douglas lim (and ok i can respect scha) like what this is a comedy show we need constructive comedy feedback
Also I didnt expect anything less from Taman honestly knowing Tauke's origin of Jambu and my memories of watching Man winning Raja lawak 5 (not to mention comparing him to kak aisyahtito giant cause THEY ARE TWINS LITERALLY FACE SAME) they will be a great jambu contender I love them already.

+==edit==+
03.27am

I used to know my place was a spot next to you, now i'm searching the room for an empty seat cause lately I don't even know what page you're on

+==edit==+
20.33pm

A busy week does not feel tiring nor dreary when it's filled with things you love doing with people you enjoy spending time with.
Mmm.

Ehh (14.13pm)

Not that I care but I can't feel bad over being misunderstood when I cannot be bothered to make humans understand so bleh your loss

Grand November (11.11am)

Got home 5 hours ago and was supposed to be in school again by now but I am tired.
Harmonix yesterday went so well.
Started with dancing as cardio and everyone was going all out I was both laughing and enjoying the choreo
Then we had individual rehearsals and earl session where hd as usual worked his magic (sometimes I wished he could conduct us hahaha he just makes us sound better ughh so appreciative of his existence and talent)
And then it was our full run where I realised exactly how talented and hardworking everyone was- we said "simple choreo" and they did more than simple.
So please ya this effort is deserving of support and love hehe.
A few of us stayed back to let our emotions out and we transited from crying so hard to laughing so hard (ok who are we kidding we did both at the same time because wth)
It was much needed, I had felt restless the whole of yesterday and letting it out even more calmed me down.
Then instead of going home we somehow started a chain of ghost stories.
I think we left school close to 4am and we went out for supper.
Like I said various times, i'm very thankful for this club.
They are the weirdest but best species and I cannot imagine it being any other way.
Here's to a successful showcase ahead!

Today I was a mess (01.39am)

And people aren't kind.
I don't particularly need help or support I just dont need humans to add unnecessary troubles
As of right now I honestly dont know who to confide in except myself (ok my best second is great khali hello if youre reading this I miss you and desperately want to see you soon)
Like everything i'm telling people are being passed on and it's disturbing because I don't know who I can trust anymore

And I haven't been a good friend to anyone, never had and not sure when I will
So it is very unrealistic that i'm upset over people I thought were my close friends finding another source of comfort
Like I downgraded from a place to rant to a place to update about the outcome of their rants.

This is definitely my emotions speaking but as of right now this is what i'm feeling.
And this will go away soon enough and i'll go back to thinking i'm doing enough when i'm not.
There's always more we could do.
Just don't abandon me without saying a word like either quicken the process so it hurts less or talk to me about it.

What are your brains (00.50am)

Dropping hints and saying "Oh nothing" is NOT keeping a secret
You are all adults, if you are not mature just act like you are
For once.

God is the best planner (01.23am)

Went to watch Muara right after the tahlil, because ele was performing.
Throwback a month ago when everyone was asking me to perform for muara especially since it was an item I danced for Anjung adat (our biannual concert in Feb this year)
At that time I just used "im busy" as an excuse, and it wasnt like I was not busy but I totally could have made time if I wanted to.
On saturday kak nurul asked me "why couldnt you commit to muara, busy eh?" and I think I was taken aback cause like was I really that busy (a normal thought for a time-maker like i'll always want to make time for everything) before responding "Yeah"
Fast forward to today and I realised I was being held back for a reason.
I would not have been able to bid him goodbye with the rest of harmonix, giving and feeding off each others' strengths and vulnerability.
Alhamdulillah it all went well.
Once again, I pray for strength.
His family, grandma and relatives, friends who are all hurting in their own ways.
May he be placed among the righteous and may we all continue living on, passing on the light he has brought to our lives.
Insyaallah.

+==edit==+
22.18pm

Was getting ready to sleep but I realised it's only 10
Oh well

What do you think a friendship is? (22.41pm)

Or at least what does it mean to you?
Like I dont need need security but like how can I gauge or trust how much I can share or care
I just want humans to have only good intentions and wants for each other.
Just be honest and stop being disgusting

I dont feel like socializing and blearghly, I saw like 3 million people I know

Is this necessary (23.34pm)

Today our hearts broke over a shocking news.
We always talked about whose wedding will be first, who will have the first babies, but we never thought of who would be the first to pass on.
I hate that we got the answer today.
Ya Allah, give us all strength to go through this moment.
Verily from you we come from and to you we return.
I pray for strength and patience for his family most of all.
May he be placed among the righteous.
I'm happy he got to see the club he loves grow, and that he got to do things he wanted to.
He's proud of us and we'll continue making him proud insyaallah.
And I wouldnt be here typing if not for the overpouring love between each harmonix members.
I love them so much words cannot describe and tonight typing and reading those three words always make me tear up again because tonight it just feels so real.
We will get through this together ♡

I thought I was better (22.33pm)

Today I realised i'm patient but not when it comes to a specific thing.
It's when I see children doing messed up things and realising we cannot really blame anyone but their parents, but parents are also sometimes not the cause.
Idk I just dont want to talk about it for now, it gets disheartening and idk what to feel.

+==edit==+
23.47pm

Most importantly, Happy 10 years of High school musical 3
I remember the exact day we went to watch it
Primary 6, right after Battle of the bands where my class sang This is me from Camp rock, I was singing with Rabia with Chelsea on the keyboard
We were in a black and white theme and we called ourselves Acespearz
Went to causeway point with the randomest people and I was so happy I think everyone there combined was still not as happy as I was HAHAHA
And then I watched it again with STYLO, at Yishun where the parents watched a horror movie while the 5 of us just shimmied to the HSM 3
I love it
Ok bye

Falsehood of security (01.44am)

In those brief moments, a touch, a laugh, an eye contact, it feels like it could all possibly go back to normal
But eh. Im lazy to think sorry hahahahah

+==edit==+
07.05am

Actually woke up for morning class for the 2nd time ever but now I don't feel like going- simply on the basis of how gross my to-do list looks as of now
Thankfully class ends at 3.30, im gonna spend like an hour trying to strike most of it off and then crash

+==edit==+
17.22pm

Actually did most of the things I needed to
When I typed the above I didnt think i'd actually do it hahaha but here I am
Ok I might be hungry soon and I want coffee

The contrast lol (00.49am)

No idea why my posts have been down because I have had an amazing few days hahah
I'd blog about it soon, I need my laptop back I misplaced my charger and now im unproductive (ok who are we kidding im unproductive with and without it
Today at work I was tasked to draw a giant pumpkin on the window
I am so happy it is so cute it needs a name
A man walked past while I was sketching it out and he nodded and showed me a thumbs up and im like Thank you good person
Hopefully it makes more people smile too, cause it makes me smile lol it really is cute

Surprisingly, lessons this year are dreadable, except for the one I fail to attend.
Like Tuesday morning was supposed to be fun hip hop but come on, morning.
Good boost for my day though I always end up tired like the first 2 weeks it made me too tired to pay attention in Chinese philo
But I have been getting used to it I guess, Chinese philo is nice cause it's an introverted, small pool of humans who just wants to sit and think together- as opposed to the interactive outgoing hiphop where everyone is all gung ho and excited to move
My two moods in a span of 7 hours
Ehh, may the rest of the sem go well.
It's going too fast harmonix-wise but just nice academic wise.
Hahahahaha bias
Ok I dont feel like sleeping but it's probably a good idea

+==edit==+
02.35am

Can does not imply ought
Just like even though I can fulfil my want to not sleep, I do not ought to.
Pcfhshaakndhxzmo

It will always feel weird (06.16am)

Drifting apart from someone is always weird.
Everyday it seems like nothing has changed but one day you just get hit that "Wait when did this happen"
And it is so hard to find the exact time and place it began to happen
It sucks that people cannot reciprocate what you are willing to give, but noone owes anyone a living and this just means that if they don't choose to do the same; they're probably not even worth it anyway.
And we can't complain about our prayers coming true.
At least that we want to be protected from harm and get closer to good.
You're just no good probably.

Eventful days (00.28am)

Currently bowling, exact opposite of the last time I was here.
I wonder wHY is it the lane the ball the calibration or my mindset or my hand
Who knows

+==edit==+
04.19am

Settled down home, I should be tired but im awake hm come to me sleep

WHAT. AM. I (03.37am)

Meeting harmonix in like... 4 hours
Also it's gonna be a long (but hopefully fun) day so I will hibernate on Sunday instead

What is up (00.23am)

Just realised I havent eaten the whole day
I guess when in emotional and psychological hibernation mode you dont think about your physical needs
What am I talking about hahahaha

I need to watch Smackdown 1000

+==edit==+
01.16

Also what the actual hillybilly I leave hmx for one night and monstrosity happened
Idk whether to be proud or embarassed

+==edit==+
03.00am

Me; ignores all messages
Me; replies to 168 conversations at one shot

Im not a bad texter just a selective one hahaha
But I am a bad sleeper as in I shouldve been sleeping at least 2 hours ago I have work in 6 hours what a komodo dragob

Just this recurring mood (01.16am)

Im home, im ok but I just dont want to reply messages humans are troublesome sometimes hahahaha
I had a cold spell earlier today which was so scary and uncomfortable I was in a dark room on the floor at the corner trying to find warmth then I tried going out to suntan but the breeze was cooling so I went back in
I felt better after getting hot coffee, and singing and also crab la the love from val and chloe was just :')♡
Contemplating not going to school tomorrow,  I should just stay home and rest (ok by rest I mean celebrate chiqa's birthday cause my baby is 9 I CANNOT BELIEVE IT but alhamdulillah she is growing well I love her so much words cannot say)

Also people treating you like an option hurts,
But like I dont have the energy to walk away
(plays walk away in the background and tears)
HA jk yall not worth it the only reason I care is because I thought we were friends
Pssht obviously not
Friends dont talk behind backs.

+==edit==+
18.31pm

Well this week two people told me I lost weight
But I have been in a major snacking mode
And by snacking I mean consuming chocolates
I have been bitten by an elf probably
Not that im complaining chocolate is great

Also I feel like Marley in Glee when the glee club made fun of the lunchlady not knowing it was her mum and she was like "i thought you guys were different"
Same.
Hahahaahaha.

Humans are losers (19.58pm)

Dk what is happening right now
But I still have my brunchinner
I just want fried food and chocolate literally considering walking to a vending machine to buy chocolate or snacks
Hmm

Self why (02.36am)

Feeling delirious but mostly pure procrastination actually no is it procrastinating if you dont even know what's on your plate anymore hahahaha it's called ignoring
Bleh
I'll get workin soon also why am I awake
May today be smooth and fun!
Work and then choreographing a dance item for an event in december

Joined Mosaic for rehearsal today cause i'm filling in for andrie, my dreams of singing Words came true hahahahais but how do I tell people that I don't... follow what the score writes that much hahahah but eh when you're in an amazing and accurate group like this you gotta work to fit in
Headed to eat brunchinner at mama friend's placs and then went to harbourfront centre to derp around and I got ice cream yay
Somehow bought some reallyyy cute accessories idk why I did that lolrandom
Also contemplated sleeping there cause I have to be there again in 6 hours
Ok I wanna rest but I also wanna continue learning songs and at the same time not do anything
What am I
Ok bye

+==edit==+
19.42pm

Ah survived today well
Finally cancelling things from my to-do list
Also earlier today was jamais vu, like something familiar felt so foreign
Gross
The weather this afternoon was sooo lovely and I finally got to bring kids out for activities
Taught some kids dance and now supposed to have an online meeting but noone is there psht I lynch all of you

+==edit==+
23.34pm

Deadass fell asleep while waiting for everyone to be online for an online meeting, and dinner
All I remember is mama tried to feed me chips and that was the last recorded movement from me
Hahhahaa ok psht bye

What is this disgust (03.05am)

Currently stranded in bugis cause grab is at HIGH demand and hitch is gone and I have 3 places to go to
This monopoly is getting disgusting SUE THEM RIGHTFULLY

+==edit==+
04.29am

Finally home
It was easy for us central humans cause cabs are still gaugeable but poor fathi is a sembawang person so amidst 40$ grabs and midnight charges, he has to wait for the surge to go down
Highkey elephant's fault loser I told them to book while it was at 24 dollars but she kept refreshing and boom
Had a lovely fulfilling day
Also I feel betrayed by myself
While I was at the coffeeshop I was so tired like I wanted to go home and crash
But now im home...
Frick the babas IDK WHO TIRED IS.

+==edit==+
21.09pm

Currently being forced to eat at harbourfront
All I wanted was icecream but I have been provided with more food
Slowly internalizing

+==edit==+
22.38pm

Maybe the art of letting go is subtler than we fear
Like a wise man once proposed,
Some things probably end with a whimper, not a bang.
Am I giving you space or reason?
You decide.

+==edit==+

Left home at 8.30am to meet chloe in town for macs breakfast, before we caught the 10am venom movie
Whereby I learnt that Venom needs a new personality cause he's acting like me
Stop
Also we were tempted to go on the stage and just sit and stare at the audience while the movie was ongoing
Why didnt we do that
Went to SMU to rehearse and then we left at almost 6pm
My battery was dying and the sockets werent working but then..... the bus I took had charging ports
Bless
Went to Geylang to meet the fams before we went karaoke and bowling where I WAS STRIPPED OFF MY 200 POINTS
Was gonna spare my last shot (I was at 181) but shammy lopez that loser physically distracted me and pft
But whatever my angst was replaced by my lack of humility (hahahahah dabs ironically ew kidds)
We then went to bugis for supper and ended up as you saw stranded till like 5am
Good good day, thanks again to keichi's sister for the movie tickets makes me wanna watch more morning movies heh

New light, old shadows (02.46am)

I tried sleeping twice but eh no avail
Gotta be up in like 4.5 hours for the most lolrandom plan
Also have the whole day to respond and send emails, and learn 2 songs
Hehere's to a great day ahead!

Hmph (02.42am)

I should sleep
Work in 7 hours ish and then forced socialisation till night
Also looking at my schedule, the things I have and want to do are not exactly aligned, and it's probably the source of why it feels unfulfilling despite doing so much
But i'll slowly get through the have tos and begin on my want tos
Including making people I love more of a constant in my life rather than a few catch ups
Including self-growth amidst wanting to make other people grow
Sometimes we gotta focus on one thing at a time, but sometimes that's not gonna cut it
Just whatever ok do what you do best even if everyone says "noo thats so risky and inefficient and not feasible"
UnFeAsIbLe please beg mY pardon
Im not a peasant like you who thinks youre a realist when all youre being is a pessimist
Obviously not a good one since you cant even admit that fact
Also this is directed to noone my thumbs are just typing stuff
Im not even feeling anything hahahaha tis the pre-sleep neutrality

Had a lazy day at home, I have an essay due later today but it's untouched thus far should I just not socialise at night loljk im not a quitter
Went down to the social service centre last night, supposedly to teach some kids dance but I just used the time to get to know them
Here goes my free days in a week
Dont mention that F word
Hahaha jk it's all good

What is this post
May it be a smooth day ahead!

+==edit==+
21.29pm

I guess renaming my blog is a good thing since it remains my place to rant
And it just reminded me that peace is power.
I can choose however I react and ultimately my own happiness and sorrow is in my hands
And it would be really dumb for me to not choose peace.
Honestly the fact that I have deadline tonight is giving me an excuse for alone time and im thankful for that
Here's to finishing the essay, trooping like I always do

Cool cool (15.02pm)

I was watching the Aquaman trailer and was like "now this is something I could watch" then I realised it's DC and James wan.
See how one good franchise can build your name so solid
(Also im kidding i just spite marvel fans who hates on dc why cant u like things from both yall losers)
But Jason momoa reminds me of roman reigns bleagh
Skipped class today cause honestly it's a waste of time
I should do my essay and then harmonixponsibilities and then lepak and have a great friday
Sounds good k bai hehah

+==edit==+
21.40pm

U calling me back?
My wrestling trainer just reappeared in my life out of nowhere, a boy i met earlier today for a dance class was wearing a reyrey shirt,
AND REYREY IS COMING BACK?!?!

wot is this am i supposed to yes i totally am

Oh wow wait (02.44am)

Ok I thought I forgot to blog but I realised mobile blogger doesn't sync (AND ALLOW ME TO POST PHOTOS PFFTZ)
Had a lovely day, right after saying how I can't pay attention, I suddenly got engaged and had so much fun I wanted class to extend but alas it didnt hahaha
Rehearsed with botols, we be sounding better each time
Im slowly managing my to do list, slow and steady
I should sleep but im watching a movie (which elephant left playing on her laptop so when I switched it on it was 21 mins in and I just continued watching it and it turned out to be quite fun hahaha
Ok imma rest my brain

Who am I gonna call (14.56pm)

Currently in Chinese philosophy class, sleepy and tired from hip-hop and i'm facing my looming deadlines hahahah

As usual, we just gotta take this one step at a time.

I want to find food and then rehearse

And then rest because idk why i'm sleepy I woke up fine bruh

I don't think I was ever fully awake and conscious during Chinese philo lessons hahaha even during my presentation I was not alert.

Ok just 25 hours to go (that feels so long but i'll survive ehehe)

Here's to a lovely calm day ahead!

ps wow i totally typed 25 i meant 2.5 hours

I missed this (02.15am)

Sometimes in the midst of chaos you seek comfort
And that's probably why I subconsciously (or not lol who knows) ended up laughing at dnp at 2am
Freaking phil "it clings on to my head... like a... friendly friend"
Idek why im laughing why is he so precious
Ok working later, here's to a great day ahead!

Had a day of rehearsal where I embraced the weirdness of a baritone (the notes not a person)
Had dinner and talking about everything (also they got my order wrong but right- I wanted to choose it initially and even got chloe to randomly choose for me and the choices matched but then I last minute changed my mind- but the food turned out being so niceee bless)
(So many buts hahaha)
Headed back to smu to complete my essay aka a fully bullcrapped essay cause the keywords were not even googleable
Cool cool
K wanna go back to dnping byezzxz

Fluttering thoughts (05.32am)

Didn't sleep, probably not the best thing to do since I have rehearsals later and an essay to complete
(I say an because my planner told me one was overdue and the other is due next week and one more was due in a month time so hahahaha im glad)
Had totally wanted to go for WWE's super showdown in melbourne, but eh it's ok not meant to be for now
I need to find my focal point again
Prioritize the things worth my time and the things I actually want to do
May the road to attaining our goals be smooth and may we always remember to give back.

Also I was highkey emotional during the A cappella festival just now cause like Yay the Singapore A cappella scene and NTU HARMONIX IS PART OF IT
I am beyond proud, Demonix did so well (so did our new famember Naddy and the vybes)
But crappp we gotta give it up to the golden bois Juz believe.
They rocked the crowd and entertained us well.
Thanks for setting a goal for us to work towards
You ready, club?
I am so ready.
Muehehahaha time 4 torture

I mean (06.10am)

Woke up at like 5
Hahaha que pasa
Also yesterday's post was angst but at that moment (and 5ever la basically) it was the most unnecessary thing ever
Found out I had an assignment due yesterday 8 mins before deadline
Ntulearn wouldnt cooperate and im not one to try harder
Hahahahahaha dont @ me
I had a lovely few days, I attribute it to the lovely weather that accompanied it too

Yesterday was cool cause we had children's day celebration at my workplace, so I was taking care of the bouncy castle
There was a special needs child and I so wished I knew how to interact with her more
All I could do was give her loads of high fives and jam with her (the odd childrens' songs in the playlist what The elephant on the bus all I am disturbed also a childs' voice saying "He's so handsome" as the opening for Twinkle twinkle little star WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO)
She looked like she was having fun though I truly hope so

Also luckily I was asked to work- there was gonna be 2 closing staffs la crazy hahahaha
As usual everyone always comes at the last hour
Ok it's 6.19am
I shall lepak as much as I can before starting on assignments and then going to support my demonix for their gig later ♡

+==edit==+
12.56pm

It raining
After a few blissful sunny days the rain is here to feed the trees
Ok what am I saying
Just here to say that I think my blogging habits reflects me in real life,
I share everything and nothing at the same time
Maybe one day these two parts will reconcile but for now i'm happy with the distinction.
Perhaps it's for the best that noone understands me fully,
I'm a creature that is not meant to be known hahahahaha (i laugh in a non-joking manner)
Is this selfish or is arguably considerate
Who Am I even
K whatever back to not defining the self

Also why am I like this I hate using the word Busy cause I love making time for everything but my schedule is undeniably packed but still I love to fit as many things as I can in a day but people have sleeping time which is so annoying hahahah jk
But things always work out in the end so...
Eh.

UGh (22.26pm)

I'd say im a pretty tolerant being
But just now I was happily rocking to my HSM walking home breathing in the fresh air
And a man walked in front of me and his freaking cigarette smoke invaded my personal space I WANT TO PUNCH HIS FACE
I used to be Eh whatever smoke all you want youre harming yourself
But this freakster just VIOLATED my clean air
Id probably be chill again after this but ugh just go away yall live in your own bubbles pls

+==edit==+

Wow that angst hahhaa im rarely spiralling but eh it was extra annoying cause I WAS JAMMING TO HSM
Noone interrupts my hsm sessions, accidentally or not I give no forgiveness.

Happy children's day (11.34am)

Lowkey wished I didnt choose to work today, considering the piling assignments
But eh making some new kid friends is always a fun thing
Just trying hard to drag myself out of bed
Have been here for an hour
Also I had a vivid weird set of dreams after so long of not sleeping properly hahahah
My alarm kept interrupting but somehow the dream resumes but when it came to the best part, I woke up for good
Aish
What new
Ok im not early hahaha I should bounce
May we all have a fantabulous day ahead

+==edit==+
23.20pm

Can we believe I agreed to another 8 hours of work tomorrow because I can't
Also so lazy to respond to messages too many strangers/acquaintances are texting me and im like uhhh gimme time to not respond por favor
Ok bye hahais

Hahaha (03.08am)

Me 6 mins ago: i should sleep
Me: sleeps for 2 mins
Me: ok done

This is unacceptable I need to socialise with 3 different groups of people from my school I cant even

What to do first (23.10pm)

I have loads to do but I don't feel overwhelmed, just excited on which to tackle first
Back from botol's rehearsal, bummer that we've never been full attendance after the first session
Long day tomorrow, but Harmonix is part of the agenda so it ok.
Hahaha ;')

Merry october (02.09am)

Whaaaat I didnt blog meh where got
Sleepy
Gotta be up early tomorrow but contemplating bailing cause my grangers want to do work but I know I won't be productive so like... why
It'd be nice to see them though.
But yes i'll decide when I wake up
Had a lovely crazy day haahah

Just the chillest ever (02.26am)

Currently by the sea with some hmx
One pier to another that's my night
Also where i'd probably be most nights if I actually drove

Protective bubble of ignorance

That's where a lot of us live in
It's a privilege,
It blinds
But is it really our fault?

But we know we're in it, shouldn't we do something to at least breakthrough?
Do we have to?

It'd probably be supererogatory.
Afterall, selfishness stems from protecting the self.

But in here is somewhere we shouldn't be too comfortable living in.
Let's go do something, materinos.

Can we believe (06.43am)

Slept right after getting home from work
Forced myself to switch the wifi off and just shut my eyes and it didnt work the first time of course so I woke up, replied to some messages and got tired of it so I switched off my wifi again and idk what time I slept I even skipped dinner
Was awoken a few hours earlier but I refused to open my eyes and now I did it's 6am.
If I had given in I wouldve been awake for no reason.
I cant tell whether im well rested or just at the beginning of hibernation
Either way, recess week is here!
Though as usual it's busier than normal school weeks, at least I have no classes hahaa (the non-philo ones are usually a drag)

+==edit==+
13.34pm

Today is the day I feel like I can truly rest and do whatever I want hahaha
I love this, no looming deadlines, no obligations (ok even if I have any today is NOT the day)
So here's to a great day ahead!
(also I just consumed rotiboy- if it isnt the best thing in life what is)

+==edit==+
16.55pm

I cant believe me buying a new crossword puzzle book was JUST A DREAM D;
Now I have to resort to online puzzles cause there's no books around me.
Psht

+==edit==+
22.44pm

Currently at vivo, ended up having a sisters' dinner with rashposh cause mama was lateee
Also wow my weekend is free im so happy to be planless hahah but then again it's like the calm before the chaos which is next week
Meh I dont mind either way.
Also is there a 24 hour bookstore (other then mustafa) I really need a crossword puzzle book

Was so sure i'd crash (02.35am)

Or at least I planned to crash
But I feel awake now
This is sparta
I should sleep though hahaha got called to work earlier than scheduled
Also yes my day turned out random, headed to NUH after class to visit a newborn babyyyyyy (litrally born on 26th sept 8pm so he was not even 24 hours old) he is too precious
Went for supper afterwards and I was sleepyish im like "Ill immediately sleep once we're home" but eh self awareness not that high evidently
Ok I should still attempt to sleep
Perhaps wake up earlier than necessary so as to not misinform my body that it's hibernation season.
Here's to a lovely day ahead!

ps woke up an hour before the test was due but phew did it managed to bull something out lol

A changing mindset (02.14am)

I had a real lovely day!
Saved like three times time-wise.
First was I usually like to catch my shuttle bus on time cause I don't like to wait, but today I reached early and the bus left 15 mins early :')
Morning class ended more than an hour early, which was imPosSible cause the prof was a talker.
It meant more time for me to get lunch AND rest
Malay music I was too sleepy to function ah thankfully I made a new friend and we played kompang
Then I found a place, played bohemian rhapsody and somehow fell asleep?
Woke up to the room being empty and daya entering it hahaha.
Hmx was fun as usual, but we did kinda new things
Daya and I skipped running to dance and then may, larrie and wai hong joined us hahahah it was a workout indeed.
Did christmas carolling and then had a short rehearsal with the botols.
Also chloe's sister dropped us off to catch our last bus much thanks :')

I have an online test due in 10 hours
Gotta find out what it's even about la hahahaha
Ok I shall rest then go find out, do my test then sleep.

I had a good idealish morning today actually, even drank watermelon juice in place of coffee hahaha
Also woke up fresh
Thursdays used to be as fun as wednesdays cause RVN rehearsals but now no there's nothing but 1 lesson which I dont even enjoy D:
Whatever, HERE'S TO A GRAND DAY AHEAD

Finalmente (06.57am)

Actually woke up with my alarm today
Hahahahaha alhamdulillah
Though it was random is it cause I slept before 3am or was it cause accidental sleep calculatoring
Idk but really looking forward
Here's to a lovely day ahead!

ps should i run with or away from hmx heheh still contemplating

We're literally all in this together (01.17am)

Had a real pleasant day which ended lolrandom.
Work went smoothly, and then dinnered with the fams before deciding to visit mustafa centre at 10pm
Ended up spending 2 hours in there con mis hermanas.
Oh ya, went there to buy sports shoes but realised I won't use it often (you could say i'll use it a grand total of 3 times)
So went back with different unnecessary things instead hahaha

I have a solo dance assessment in 9 hours time, and I havent learnt the last 3 steps.
There's at least 16 counts of freestyle and I am heavily contemplating (ok let's be real it's the only thing in my brain) using HSM moves.
Also was telling myself "I'll sleep before 1am" and that was 10 mins ago
Should head to the studio early since I have to learn the first 3 steps.
No idea how the assessment will work but eh if I dont care much noone can make me care much.
Aka indulging in the carefree mood of hiphopping.
Hahaha hope to catch up cause the next 3 moves looks cool
Shall do my own research and hopefully sleep before 3am

+==edit==+
03.47am

Inserts blank eyed smileymoticon.
Honestly wonder how functional i'd be if I lived on the other side of the planet.
Or would my internal rebel still work against the normal time.
Eh.

+==edit==+
23.44pm

Sleepy is a feeling I rarely feel, so to feel it is quite mehish
On my way home from rehearsal, my eye is getting worse after showing signs of recovery D;
(Not gonna mention anything about tomorrow's classes cause the more I say I must go, I don't go)
(And I can't reverse psychology myself cause I know my own intentions hahahaha)
K I can already foresee my night- sleepy till I get home and instant freshness then i sleep at 6am (better not happen tonight cause 930 class ayy)
Hahehaheha
K I am lowkey exhaust and my eye is killin me I gotta break free

Why (03.16am)

Had a chill, not so productive day
Was trying to do the online mod but it got so nonsensical I stopped myself
Like all these etiquette stuff sure some level it's necessary but WHEN IT COMES TO THE DIFFERENCES OF CUTLERIES POSITIONS BETWEEN WESTERN AND ORIENTAL DINING
I am so done
It is unnecessary and noone can convince us otherwise.
Here we witness one of the ways millennials themselves has chosen to focus on the important things and ignore other stuff
(No link but got link)

Working in 8 hours- thankfully I asked for 11am.

Some time since (03.46am)

Back home after a longmonix day
Giving papparich another chance was worth it, the roti canai was soooo nice?? (Texture seems instantish but taste wise was exquisite)
Also the ayam penyet at val's 21st was delish too.
Too bad I couldnt eat the cake BUT IT LOOKED SO BEAUTIFUL (jem's sisters made it and it looked amazing im sure it tasted amazing too judging by the reactions hahahah)
Ok finally a stay home day.
Should get a headstart on things I can headstart on so I don't have a busy week before recess week.
(No idea whats the point or link but for my own happiness I shall, hahahaha)

+==edit==+
04.09am

Just scrolling through fb memories and found old photos from my MI days
I guess I was never afraid of getting in trouble cause some of the trouble came from plain... I dont even have a word besides illogical.
There was once I got in trouble because I came to school to perform for my production when I skipped school (it was a Wednesday afternoon) because of eye infection (which gave me like 10 days of mc) and one of the humans was like "If you can come for your production why can't you attend lessons" and I literally took a deep breath and sighed in front of him cause like did you hear what you just said because that is really really really dumb. (Is because it still holds true now)
I can't believe I didnt roll my eyes bruh 19 year old me was so tolerant to bullcrap
Ignoring game strong
But yes,
I've never found respect for that human cause throughout the three years (too long) the person has been consistently horrible.
Hope you're more humane now wherever you are.
Loser.

Mixed feelings are normal (15.49pm)

Currently in Papparich with the hmx music comm, and it's so cold
Also the last time I ate here the food was disappointing but i'm giving it another chance
Im freezing anyway my hands are gonna turn to ice

Sometimes I forget (04.23am)

That humans are still capable of disappointing.
I've avoided them for some time, and had moments where I give them chances but
Humans are just-
Plain disappointing at times.
And it's for really dumb reasons that stretches deep reflecting your personhood.

Also I have spent so long in dormant that I also forget that I have emotions
Jk

More importantly
I forgot to sleep
Hello full day of potential boredom today man-
Work from 9-6 and then scurry to school for a meeting
ALONE some more dont have my hmx with me D;
Cries in french

But here's to a smooth day ahead heheh insyaallah

+==edit==+
22.51pm

Ve been feeling more exhausted often than usual the past two weeks
Oh well.

Hello duckness my old friend (00.00am)

No idea why im walking
Unnecessary torture but eh im hearing demonix being melodious as usual behind me so I dont mind this serenade.
Also why am I bringing a handbag my hand tired

What even happened (01.36am)

The past two three days have been a blur (not really) and idk why im physically exhausted.
My eyes have not healed bro come on.
Also I have a presentation later and a solo dance assessment.
Major shiz.
What even.
I just need to take an MC and just not push myself but then again im a trooper
Not even kidding I have no energy to play with kids at work just now thankfully I got mostly arts and craft jobs.
This is the kind of pre-period exhaustion and I usually feel better after realising the cause but now I realise it's the period itself that gets rid of this pre-menstrual exhaustion.
Which is lameee.
Cause now im aware but I cant do anything about it.

I have a million messages and emails to respond to, about 3400 meetings and 1829 deadlines this week.
Gotta hustle man what would John cena say if he saw me this weak bluek
Will read my article and then sleep probably.
May it all go smoothly, Insyaallah.

+==edit==+
09.57am

Feeling a lot better this morning than the past two days combined
Even had the mood to cook hahaha
Skipping hiphop though, really need to get my eyes checked it's been quite some time already I cant function properly haiz.
Let me finish my breakfast and then do my presentation and get MC.
All before 2.30pm

+==edit==+
12.45pm

Wow my body just went on sleep mode while I was doing my presentation
Forced unconscious nap
Oh well I still feel okay
But that was weird hahahaha
Onwards.

+==edit==+
16.08pm

Internally im at peace but within society I feel so ???? like i really cant even can

+==edit==+
17.37pm

See this is where life gets confusing but I appreciate and embrace every inch of it
I wanted to do more for the presentation but with the time and procrastination crunch I could not even if I tried (I finished it as class started la hahahaha and I was at home)
But like a few people including the prof said it was a good presentation
Personally I dont know bro I dont even know what we were supposed to do in the presentation I didnt read the syllabus or whatever was important (I guess)
But I had fun reading the article
Ok im thankful I survived today so far it has been like I said great internally but meh externally
Looking for my fellow harmonix now hopefully they'll make the external great too ehehe.

ps the post title is valid for both the original post and latest edit hahahaha

What do I feel (03.06am)

Just reached the karaoke place
My throat hurt but who cares not like im in a singing club or anything
Idk what today was
Im just happy
And it is surreal
Im gonna just bask in this moment

+==edit==+
06.12am

I cant tell if im tired hahaha
Definitely not tired enough to crash and sleep
Ah ive been sleeping every two nights these days hahah which im cool with I guess
Committee meeting in less than 12 hours
Also still contemplating whether to go for dance training
At this rate of my no sleep..... probably not
But like I have time to spare you know
We'll see if im still fresh in 6 hours

+==edit==+
11.16am

Think I slept a bit before 8 and woke up 1.5 hours later but I feel well rested
Hopefully it doesnt crash me tonight haha
This weekend has/will be a good break to being productive.
Hmx concert viewing party, Interactive introverts (both im still not over) and a celebratory dinner session with last year's main committee.
Schedule for next week looks quite heavy but eh we'll do it slow and steadily.

+==edit==+
23.43pm

At this point im intrigued about myself
How is it possible that I havent slept for nights and be tired but still manage to NOT want/be able to fall asleep
Working later D:
Why do I do this

Had a lovely day

Idealistic good (02.15am)

I know I blog about this a lot but it honestly is interesting thinking about humans.
Like what makes a person good, why we'd give some people benefit of the doubt, why we accept and reject kindness on a seemingly non-existent basis.
One skill most humans fail to have is the ability to cover up for another person in good; so as to say, helping to secure a person's pride in their absence (or presence, either way it sucks that it is not a natural born gift)
Sure it's not an obligation and definitely not a mark of goodness (cause you might very well have an ulterior motive of wanting your pride to be honoured in return) but it feels like it could be a basic human skills.
Im not saying getting into unnecessary trouble, it's just that sometimes thinking and putting others before yourself might elevate the total number of happiness > pain (totally not a utilitarian) and could thus be a worthy inconvenience.

Also crap some people are too lucky in their love life it makes me want to rewatch all the movies and dramas ever
Like how can one person like someone and have things happen what the actual heck (yes im looking at you, blue-tainted coat person)
This crazy
Im happy for happiness.

You can't get upset over prayers coming true.

Not even (04.45am)

Um.. kinda shouldve been sleeping since hours ago
Oh well.
Why did I volunteer a 10am shift.
If I could get a power nap by 6am that'd be cool
Goodluck hermana

+==edit==+
21.12pm

Currently in school facing 3 million spring chickens
It's concert watching session and a picnic one too
Currently intermission and im feeling the usual tired that I feel in the evening everytime I don't sleep a few nights in a row
Ironically past midnight im wide awake again
Also WHAT THE ACTUAL HECK INTERACTIVE INTROVERTS IS TOMORROW
Felt like forever since we first heard the announcement and bought our tickets
Then suddenly it's tomorrow
Im not prepared
Im not even over our concert how am I supposed to experience one more
Emotions dont deserve to be sorted out and entertained sometimes lol
Ok when is intermission ending
My contact lens are dying

ps best of luck to yol the molotov abraham for her competition tomorrow, bummer i gotta miss it 2 years in a row but eh our support transcends physical presence

pps i am NOT comprehending that im seeing dnp LIVE TOMORROW shit im smiling to myself just thinking about it

ppps what would make it better?!?! going with not 1, not 2, bUT 3 HARMONIX ♡

Sense of time man (02.37am)

Yes I have been on my phone but I havent blogged
Thanks to my overly attached hmx
Who texts like 24/7 (ongoing now hahahahha)

+==edit==+

20.46pm

I have a few things to blog about, mostly about life but not my life specifically but still life.

Had a full day of being alone at home which was weird cause I was ready for school but while eating lunch I was thinking why I should go hahahahah

So I didn't 

Settled a few pending things but it also made me realise there's even more awaiting

I'm cool with it I guess

Counterbalanced with hmx's werewolf tendencies im all good hahahah

Ok first of all hashtag just shower thoughts (talking about shower thoughts I hate it when ideas or important thoughts pop up at the most inconvenient time when I cannot type or write them down- aka in the shower)

I was thinking that humans like to complicate things in the most unnecessary ways

We are not snakes, we don't need to shed and change our skins every (insert whatever amount of time) 

We are not turtles who have to carry our homes on our backs

We are given an easy body- but we still somehow manage to look past that and not appreciate it.

Yall lame mortals.

Also I feel like the most important ideal qualities as mankind are Rationality and Compassion.

With compassion stems respect- for others, for yourself. 

It brings kindness and thoughtfulness- for others, for yourself.

It eliminates unjust- for others and yourself.

Compassion might be the root of a lot, if not all, the good.

With rationality, idk thinking is just important la.

Doesn't matter self-reflection or outwards thinking, there's a reason we're the species with the (debatable but meh) most refined capacity to think rationally.

Idk, probably i'll read this again and disagree with myself.

But for now I cannot think of any values more sufficient than these.

(oh wow im already debating with myself internally good going)

Also i've been quite lagging in my studies thus far

Gotta catch up and philosophize my life moving forward cause that's the way to go

I might be going back to dancing, perhaps for one performance.

I'm too lazy to move for now.

Working tomorrow before a mass concert viewing (also dubbed as mass crying session)

But I doubt i'll cry cause i'm still in denial

Most of us are

HAH

Ok here's to a fantabulous Friday ahead!

ps so annoyed cause i cant upload photos on the new blogger mobile psht step up your game 

We are wild (03.20am)

Just got done playing cards against humanity with somemonix and I somehow won hahahahahaa
Work went smoothly, met mama for dupper afterwards and started werewolfing right away
Have a talk to attend in 7 hours
And then chinese philosophy class
Feels weird to have no rehearsal or anything harmonix related
Also i'll miss our first rehearsal with the new kidz
this is so sed
Bleagh

+==edit==+
04.11am

Actually dreading class cause the prof is forcing us to speak up plus I havent done readings plus it's too small a class for me to not pay attention
Meh goodluck to me

+==edit==+
08.52am

WHATS THE POINT OF FORMAL EVENTS LIKE SPEECH DAY AND INVESTITURES IF WE ALLLLLL KNOW THEY ARE BORING AND UNNECESSARY AND DRAGGY AND EXTRA
I'll never hear a valid reason for this
Also why am I the innocent villager dragged to attend it
Excuse u!!!
Also in the bus trying to catch my shuttle bus
So crowds ew

^ lol reminds me of orientation where I flashed "Noo there's humans on it" on screen and asked them to guess who said it and they unisonly said my name
Why

Ehh (00.42am)

Woke up from a nap lol idk what time I fell asleep but I woke up halfway and kept my eyes shut and somehow fell asleep again
Now i'm up though
Working later, thankfully past me had the foresight that a 9.30 shift would be fatal so she didnt hahahaha
Good sista
Also I should be less aggressive playing Werewolf I cant help it with all the meme stickers are encouraging these brutal tendencies
Another thing is I realise the presentation I have "tomorrow" is actually next week so that's a definite plus.
May the week ahead be smooth, fun and fulfilling, Insyaallah!