Yesterday we had a short talk about how we act different around different people which to me is not a bad thing (of course there'll always be that nagging question if you're actually being yourself, if all those different characters are you- but I guess not defining yourself is sometimes not a bad thing to do)
And then there were comments about how difficult I am to read which was weird because I was half happy about that fact yet super perplexed because for someone who wears her heart on her sleeves, (ew cliche line hahaha) what's there not to see?
It's either im controlling what's visible or I have grown accustomed to the branding i've held since... idk my MI years?
Like I don't remember being this reserved in secondary school (which doesnt feel far away, but also long ago enough)
I think my point is that, if my current friends saw me in the past, i'd think they'd like me better
But if they decide to judge me as this heartless, emotionless, dispassionate person in the first place,
It's not really my loss.
It's just... wasted because i'd have been proud to be the person I was.
Maybe deep inside im still the same person, it'd just take a trigger for that side to make a return.
For now, im happy being a full time gangsta
I just want people to know that that is not what my totality is comprised of.
Ayy unnecessary emo in the morning k I didnt proofread this so ignore mistakes ya gracias