What a dreary day (22.40)

Wow I have no idea what time I slept yesterday but this whole day I was so sleepy and I mean very.
What even?
I feel well rested now though which is hahahahha thanks but why.
Needless to say I wont be sleeping anytime soon which is... not a good idea because
1) Need to be up early for the OE phototaking session
2) Dance grooming at night
Ahahais, you know my tuesday night routine- tries to sleep and fails, suddenly super awakened at 5am.

Still no idea how to tackle my essays (actually didnt even try ah so my bad hahaha)
Even after skipping today's JB trip with the progs team, I still have a few things to handle but it's ok all is good insyaallah!

Actually feel like going labrador park tomorrow since the "photoshoot" will be nearby hmmmmm yez but how to trek in skirt and heels hahahah kidding im not even wearing skirt and heels (or am I, havent even decided)
I found black velvet pants (oh I wished I couldve said cake there but nooo) which is neat???
Mama's one but as usual im taking it heheh
Anyway yes why not I can trek in whatever im wearing
Still contemplating whether to go alone or ask elephant along (aka 300 games of taiti ah and her losing all ah hahaha)

Hoping for a beautiful weather (I mean most weathers are lovely but) it'd be amazing if it was springy, blue skies and wind, cool sunny day (ironic but dreamy)

K ah, I should really go find an outfit.
Knowing me i'd change my mind at least thrice in the next 8 hours hahaha
Goodnight sweetdreams of baby peacocks

And happy 21st to ghaya gomez, mucho amor ♡

ps the new dil video hahahahahah evil phil is as cute as angel phil

Stumped and unbothered? (17.58pm)

I literally WHOAed
Gurl should wear purple more often pleaz mi hermans por favor
Currently staring at essay prompts on the laptop and just that- staring.
I have no idea why I think it's cause of my bad attendance this sem?
Nothing I learnt is in my brain ok.
Like last sem I can go home and quote the lessons but now I dont even know what I know haha but butttt no worries, just because I love what i'm doing i'd probably wont feel forced to find the slides and stuff...
Got to admit this sem's modules are not as interesting (except minds and machines I love that class) as last sems'.
Whatevs, no excusez.
Wish me luck thank

//edit//

22.00pm

Meh all I did was copy paste the prompts into microsoft word and then microsoft word crashed and so I watched KKHH and emoed one corner.

Fun though sad as heck hahahaha will there ever be a day when I watch it without tears excuzes moi self I dont think so

Motivational speech outta nowhere (1.21am)

I should be asleep!

And ms green tea promised to text me a joke to prevent me from snoozing my alarm so lets see what she provides us with hahahaha

Anyway, I realise i'm quite held back when people ask me for advice because I just know everyone's brain and hearts work differently and my way of thinking really does not match with the majority which is both a good and bad thing because im simultaneously "SAME" and "nah cant relate soz"
Half of me just wants to literally shake the heck out of people and let them see that THERE.IS.ALWAYS.A.WAY.OUT literally stressing and worrying is such a waste of time but the other half of me truly truly understand what they feel so I just-
Ahhhhhh nevermind
Still honoured when people share their feelings with me no matter how brief, I appreciate it.
I don't promise I can help nor can I make you feel better but i'll listen (although i'd be constantly editing and filtering my replies because I dont want to come across as shooting down or underestimating your problems)

But really, really listen to me.
If you believe in God, in fate, in yourself, Insyaallah there will always be a way.
You just need to pluck up the courage, and it may be nonexistant but you find it anyway, and take the first step.
One of my favourite quotes (I believe it's from Alice in wonderland?) goes along the line of: If you don't know where you're heading, then it doesn't matter which way you go.
Just start, anywhere and you will reach somewhere.
Don't wait around.

Continue dreaming and hoping and hustling but leave space for the unexpected.
Not easy at all but if someone out there can do it, so can you.

Best of luck.
If you haven't heard it from anyone, (or even if you have la ok) I believe in you.
I really do.

//edit//

4.44am

Ah...... thanks a lot for keeping me up my internal timekeeping machine

The day filled with "What even"s (22.50pm)

Why is Mamu out and not Mad sabah?!
Ok I havent finished watching but Zero and Mamu has been good so far

//edit//
26/02
00.04

I put this post on draft... hahaha
Anyway yes totally disagree on Mamu being eliminated.
I think I slept at 5 or 6 and only left home at 5pm
Went to grandma's and then karaoke before dinner!
Dance tomorrow and im meeting ms green tea early because she has a duty heheheh

It's recess week and im going out everyday which is kinda a bummer because e v e r y d a y like I wanted to stay home at least 2-3 days but noooo.
Let's see if there's any cancellable/skippable plans hahaha I mean I appreciate being jioed out but idk la

I misplaced my charger homagash luckily mama didnt bring hers out today!
I should sleep early (hahahahahahahah) so as to not tire myself (again, hahahahah)

Btw..... my jep got married today :')
Im so happy for him but it's so weird to think about it you know, omg.
He. Is. Married!!!!
May their marriage be blessed with abundance and love, and may they last forever Amin2

Have a lovely sunday ahead!

ps why do philester and brock lesnar have the same smile

pps phil is beauty though, lesnar is creepy bluek (ok la still not over 21-1 ok) 

Maharaja Lawak Mega 2017: Minggu 1

Let's begin from the crowd favourite who I think could've won if they had entered last season (but they didn't)

Shiro

First thoughts: They're good, but usually overshadowed by the major groups Sepahtu and Jambu- so this is honestly an amazing time for them to join! Especially since both Zero and Bocey already won, they got chance ah

Round 1: Love it. I've missed them and this was a great way to remind us of Shiro- their signature jokes and plot twists

Bocey

First thought: Bocey has always been a yoyo for me- not really inconsistent but... ah idk how to put it but they're just not my favourites? I love them of course (who doesn't) but I don't know how my loyalty can lie with them.

Round 1: A decent performance to ease into the competition, was entertained despite the lack of story development- like I care hahaha i'm literally here for the lols and I got it so good job

Zero

First thought: As bocey, I love them and I believe in their potential and comedy so much! But their inconsistency makes me unstan them at times. I'll always love their tagline!

First round: Kinda underwhelming? There's a difference between tradition/staying true to their essence and simply being repetitive. I love zero so i'm definitely waiting for their engines to gear up!

Nice

First thought: A "repeat" of LOL and Virus! Technically they're a new group, but I love tauke and ropie so obviously i'm rooting for them.

First round: Emo when tauke introed himself as tauke jambu pls T.T I miss them so much. Honestly i feel like i've appreciated them but it never feels like enough. I'll always love jambu. Ok wait distracted. (Rightfully so) It was a performance I expected from a new group with new dynamics; entertaining but definitely a lot less than what they're capable of. Keep pushing!

Joras

First thought: They’re back! Still cannot decide if Jalor or Joras is better. Usually very creative but can be over/under at the weirdest times. Still a supporter though!

First round: Forgettable, really! The concept is too simple that it didn’t really work, and the acting was unnatural (rahim….. hahah) Syuk did well as usual! Joey was pulling off a rahim (aka tk berfungsi hahaha throwback to sepahtu days) but it’s only the first week so keep it up!

Mamu

First thought: They are so unpredictable in a negative way because sometimes they’re so good it’s crazy and sometimes they make me go “what…?” for the whole 7 minutes. But I have always liked them since the raja lawak days so my eyes are definitely on them!

First round: They always manage to find the simplest concepts and make punchlines work naturally! Entertaining and not bad at all for the first week.

Puteh

First thought: Have always liked them, but they still got to solidify their art before we go on believing in their craft! Not champion material yet, but neither are they too far from it. Let’s go guys!

First round: Needless to say, the race jokes are getting old! I mean, it’s an okay performance to start off the new season but it got stagnant quickly.

Xoxo

First thought: No initial judgements, i’ve always seen them as chair fillers (just not ready yet) but I appreciate any new groups who are having fun and throwing in new ideas and competition to the plate!

First round: Started pretty slow but they picked it up! Loved the simplicity which was actually what made it easy comedy, easy to watch, easy to laugh at. Read comments that says they stole ideas but that's art- we have to borrow ideas because nothing truly is original. Loved how they incorporated hang tuah which is in yo face melayu so who cares if they copied, it was still entertaining! Dangerous though, I can foresee them being stagnant quickly if they don’t step up their game ASAP.

Abioso

First thought: Never heard of them, but they seem pleasant!

First round: I was entertained! They’re one of the contestants which actually felt natural and sincere in their delivery, because every simple exclamations become funny. Allocation of roles seem apt for now, even though I don’t know them prior! Excited to see them next round muehehe

Hobit

First thought: Amir and bocil has always been like- i'll always hope their joke menjadi but i won't be surprised if it doesn't? Because they can be really funny one week and a major flop another and i really dk what it depends on; the script? delivery? idk

First round: A bit messy! The other guy was Rahim and was slightly negligible but it’s only their first week so it’s understandable. This was a tak menjadi though! Honestly idk why it doesn’t work but at the same time I cannot imagine how it could work. Sorry lads, feel free to prove me wrong.

Masin

First thought: Uh oh, awkward combination. But let’s give them a chance!

First round: They’re not that bad in execution, but content is very meh for now. Definitely not the weakest but not a crowd pleaser either. Work harder!

Pistol

First thought: When raja azri first debuted (was it ekzos or enjen can't recall) I had my eyes on him. With a new person, I got 0 expectations but continues hoping for the best.

First round: Not bad, but not good either? Got to try something different to match up with the rest, it’s a competition afterall! Honestly I forgot how the other guy was but if i’m not wrong, he was not bad at all. (If my memory doesn’t fail me lah)

Dzawin

First thought: Soloist. Indonesian. Religious. 3 specialties he is bringing to the platform and that alone should be exciting! And it is!

First round: Very simple item to ease us into understanding who he is and what he does! Energetic but not overt- definitely the strongest soloist as of now.

Mad sabah

First thought: I saw prior that he got man of the match so needless to say I was expecting a good performance.

First round: He was the 2nd soloist I saw after Dzawin but I got to say it was extremely underwhelming. Idk if it's his style that i'm not used to or it's purely the content but definitely not MOTM material for now- unless it truly is the inability of me to capture his essence. It'll take time.

Danial

First thought: Ok, impersonator. Cool talent, would be even cooler if he knows how to work it into a solid content!

First round: Impersonations were not that strong, which was a bit scary because that was what he established his strength as from the start. If he could move on from this (as in focusing more on storyline rather than the impersonating) or show more of his strengths (impersonating characters he’s better at) I don’t see why he can’t do well!

Conclusion

1) You can always see when one is trying too hard and when one is sincere in delivering their parts.

2) I love seeing more Indonesian contestants, Singapore step up yo game hunty!

3) As above, I love seeing the comedians experiment with each other, comfort is amazing both for them (and us as audience) but you'll never know if something might work until you try it!

Contestants i'm particularly missing (besides the losers jozan and sepahtu always breakin my heart with their false promises aka I miss u both so much):

SYJ, Rayza, Nabil, Comey, and most of all, Jambu (Al-fatihah Pak yus, Yussry bin edoo)

Tonight is Round 2, and I am looking forward to it!

Oh wow (23.42pm)

Currently at the bustop waiting for my bus.......
Had a really... chill day because idk why I was super sleepy I kept falling back asleep and waking up several times and actually missed my class on purpose cause last class was unproductive so like hahaha expecting the same today BUT I went for meeting finally after like 3 weeks or something.

I had some things to say but seeing the time I might have to go home and edit this post or start a new post.

And I know my MLM review is still ongoing, I have to rewatch all to continue ok
Can the bus please comeee alreadyyy i want to eat
Gracias in advance..... por faVor

Ok just took the bus it's empty hahah and the driver managed to stop right infront of me so plus points and the bus is so cold what even ok la thanks

ps photo taken by anga

Tuesday nights (00.46am)

I am kinda sleepy, but no atom in my being wants to sleep so im guessing traditions will continue with me only wanting to sleep at 5am and at that exact same time dan begins streaming his liveshow and keeps me awake for an hour which is when my alarm will ring so-
My tuesday nights are allocated sleepless nights
Which can go one of two way; I get so high the whole day and then get to sleep in on thursday morning, or I run on autopilot the whole day and then gets awakened by night and then not sleep again before Thursday.
Usually it's both combined hahahaha let's see

Im genuinely sleepy though but idk if i'll continue trying to call upon sleep or begin watching a drama idk idk dont make me decide.......
Most probs drama it is ok la
Let me just go prep some midnight snacks because I ate one meal today??

Chiqa is officially embarking on her malay dance journey today!!!
So excited for her, I remember when I first went for CCA in primary school with my mother tongue friends, though I already have been dancing 2-3 years prior hahahah it's just the company ok, like eh I get to dance with people my age
It will be fun for Chiqa!
Her instructor is a senior in the dance group me, eatgo and elephant* are in now hahahaha definitely small singapore

Why do I feel like cooking can someone stop me and tell me it's 1am I can cook for breakfast later
But noone can tell me that so it means I can do it
Ok goodnight sweetdreams!
Have a splendid wednesday and takecare of yourself!

ps yes i know it's eatgo, elephant and I but do I look like I care no I doughnut 

//edit//

06.21am

Actually got to sleep at 3.30am and somehow woke up at 5.08am and caught danyul's liveshow 7 mins in muehehe im on time! His asmr attempt made me actually LOL because what even was he thinking ripping cotton pads on camera ??? Weirdo- and he was doing a major fanservice by wearing a beanie im aware of some humans in the fandom whose dream is to see him in one lol

Not complaining though

Btw Chiqa woke up in a good mood cause she knows she has malay dance today ehehe thats so precious anywho k bye I should get ready for school (quite early but oh the things i'd do to avoid taking the train hahaha)

(Actually makes me so appreciative of living in the central I mean I have friends who either stay in the east or have no transportation options other than trains)

O crap (00.38am)

Missed my first post of the year and I already feel weird/bad what even
It's solely because sometimes I blog at midnight and sometimes I blog at the end of the day so I don't really keep track....
39 mins too late boooo

Had a wild day- wild as in I didn't think i'd be capable of being bothered to go to school from home for literally 20 mins and then go to bugis what even
(Ok not gonna lie still upset over missing yesterday's post but..... gurl you had a crazy day I forgive you)

I feel like it'd be nice to go on a morning stroll along the beach or something but knowing my sleep schedule that'd happen and i'll fall asleep by noon
Lowkey in a mood where I want no responsibilities but simultaneously im saying yes to so many things gurl take a hold of yourself pls
Next week is the (usually long awaited but seeing my timetable and my lepak curriculum every week feels like holiday) recess week and ironically it's my busiest week.
Literally only have thursday free.
This happened last sem too hahah suddenly I check my calendar and I have no days off pls
So note to self; try to begin on assignments early aka this week

May He grant us the patience and strength to not only survive, but do well in all aspects in life.

Just... be kind to people ok doesnt matter if noone notices, appreciates or acknowledges
He does.
Goodnight sweetdreams!

That was close (22.31pm)

Totally thought I blogged but was pretty shagged by the end of last night hahah
Went for bahas high tea before sentosaing and then karaokeing

Today roamed around novena after dance, which was extra trying because of the tougher warmup (hahaha kak illa torture pls but tkpe strong dancers yes)

So I was craving sushi and this weekend has been a full sushifest im happy hahaha

Im still writing the MLM review, will try to get it up by tonight.
Priorities eh hahaha I have an assignment due tomorrow morning but then I saw it was worth 5% im like "sorry who are you again"
But I mean... if it's not out of the way and I can bull something out, i'd just do it.

Along, Anga and Shammy lopez is going on their backpacking trip tomorrowww ahahaiz have a safe and fun trip and takecare and bring back pebbles thank me

Ok I shall go and embrace my night before a whole week of meetings ensues........
Insyaallah i'll ace this.
Have a great week ahead!

Be wholesome my friends

MLM 2017 (01.02am)

Ay mio dios, it has finally returned!
MLM 2017 and like I said, despite being disappointed with my two homies I know theyre busy doing way crazier things but pls come back one day to compete ok I miss yall
Im still stoked for this competition!
Im about to go watch it now but as usual im prepping myself to not be too emo when familiarity strikes me right in the face
Will come back with reviews as I do muehehehe im excited cant even say

OK halfway watching and I JUST HAD TO PAUSE BECAUSE I DIDNT REALISE SHIRO WAS IN????
Literally jaw drop omg ok wait I neeeeeed to watch them

//edit//
2.25am

Finally got done watching and may I say, it was an emotional roller coaster.
From seeing new faces to seeing new combinations, return of old groups and more solo comedians- it was a good first round!

I only watched the contestants so I have no idea what the judges' comments or HAs were.
No idea if I like the judges yet- mixed feelings about najip and luna maya being back, no comment on dato rosyam and a bit meh for neelofa- reminded me of nora danish in 2013
Despite this initial impression, judgement might change depending on how valuable of a judge they are so let's see!

I will literally review each contestants so obvs this will be a long post- I will separate them into 3 categories; the loved ones, the unfamiliar and the soloists.
For now, i'll begin by introducing each groups and give an initial judgement.
(Aka i'll try to write most by memory but need to google the rest because what even so many contestants cant remember ok)

Infos obtained from: http://www.rafzantomomi.com/2017/02/maharaja-lawak-mega-2017-senarai.html?m=1

Shiro
Bocey
Zero
Nice
Jalor
Mamu
Puteh

Xoxo
Abioso

Dzawin
Mad sabah
Danial

(Post will be up soon- technically didnt miss today's post hehehe)

Update

I FEEL FREEEEEEE
The best part about being a major procrastinator is right after deadlines- the completion of all accumulated crap at once and then this feeling afterwards mannn priceless
Doesnt take away the torturous feeling as deadline inches towards me though.
Sometimes I feel like life would be easier if I just started on things earlier but meh we'll see how it goes.

So for now all I need to do is the proposal, and I will then proceed to have a lovely weekend and perhaps even do my readings for the first time this sem (I said perhaps ok dont have high hopes)

BTW I woke up to a dnpgames video BUT I told myself to not watch it until im done with my essay and now I have watched it im so happy that I no longer have to be frustrated alongside them doing the impossible quiz wth hahahaha
What champs (jk, losers always)

I feel like going out like im ready but im just lepaking cause had to miss the masjid sales to finish the essay zzz but it's ok there's 2 more sessions to go~
Dk where to go though
Hahaha let's see

Have an amazing day ahead!

Btw MLM starts tonight and no jozan no sepahtu they just messin with my morales with fake promises pfshssht T.T 

Team tauke- Nice, was it? Yep pretty sure. And he's with ropie so im definitely looking forward

Best of luck superhero lawaks! 

Thursday conquered! (00.17am)

Genuinely had a mini panic thinking I hadn't blogged oh my gucci
Currently at botanic gardens waiting for my bus home~

Just a random thought, I love the process of someone warming up to me like we start talking and the person is reserved and quiet and by the time we bid our goodbyes they'd be louder, bolder and more relaxed and it's really nice I almost feel honoured cause they chose to warm up to me ok

Alhamdulillah survived today really well, went to clementi mall to get the gift and my brunchinner before (had to) cabbing to school.
The test was open book and wouldve been really easy if I actually knew what the whole thing was about alas I did not but still, it took me 10 mins and 0 effort thats was a major relief
Managed to squeeze time to attend both meetings today!
Left school at 11pm but hey, time enjoyed is not time wasted (thats totally not how the quote goes)

So now my only urgentda for this week (hahaha urgent agenda if you may) is the essay, proposal and masjid sale tomorrow morning
Have 2 essays due in 2 weeks so gotta begin working on those

Ok im in the bus now aka dizzy so buhbye goodnight sweetdreams

Overwhelming agenda but let's do it (10.52am)

Once again need to blog to clear this mind because if this is gonna be my life for now i'd need to find a way to cope hahahaha
I have a lot of heavy things to do today and tomorrow
Mostly tomorrow, and I still have the masjid sales to attend.
I wouldnt want to miss it but seeing my current circumstance... I might need to idek D:

All will be good because a relaxing weekend ahead

I know what you're saying "well if u have so much to do why dont u go do them stop blogging"
Dont tell me you've never experienced having so much things to do, you dont do any because thats me right now

I have a test in 3 hours time and i dont even know what it's gonna be about, but lets just go do it ok :')
I also need to prepare a gift for the angel/mortal game tonight
And I have an essay due yesterday (I really thought it was tomorrow but who knew- not me duh) which I have to chiong

And oh a proposal by "ASAP"

So for now, im going to go have breakfast and either 1) See where life takes me 2) Take control of my life
I really dont mind either way

OH I woke up hearing my going-out alarm and I was so tired I couldnt wake up I didnt feel like- heck I couldnt rush if I tried
Skali I realised it's only 9am and I set the wrong timing at the wrong alarm
Ultimately it wasnt wrong at all, Alhamdulillah- if it had been my normal alarm playing I don't think i'd be awake this timing.
These situations where you can see the hikmah behind things just reminds you to keep the faith in harder times when you just cannot for the life of you comprehend why

So... ok girl signing off

Ok wait one more thing
Yesterday was pretty fun- I met sha in the bus in the morning, made a new exchange friend wHO- get this- likes phan too (!!!) and obviously Harmonix was fun
After choir I had high expectations for a fun, homey, CCA and here I am

Ok NOW I sign off
Have an amazing day ahead, keep calm and slay it

Mood (00.42am)

I think the reason I thrive in environments that believe in me is because I myself cant be bothered to "prove myself" to other humans like where got time

Ok random (and probably non-sense) start but hello hello
As of now I don't feel like sleeping, probably because I took a nap in the afternoon hahah
Woke up with an amazingPhil video aka pastel edits irl what even are those bois doing idk but I luhv they so precious
(best part is despite being one of the famouser pastel colour, the "pink" looks like peach so it doesnt hurt my eye hehehehe)
Inspired by them tomorrow im gonna go pasteler not that I own anything pastel apart from blue and purples
(SPEAKING OF PURPLE WHY DID I GIVE AWAY MY DENIM JACKET IT WAS SO NICE)
(Pretty sure it wasnt me who gave it away but ok la hope the new owner loves it as much as I did)
I was thinking since im a school kid awaiting the impending working life, when else can I dress weirdly if not now
(Warning; depends if I can be bothered- morning class alert)

Ahh critical writing classes are those i'd gladly skip but (idk curse or blessing.... ok la blessing la) the profs has been so nice so I feel bad
This sem it's a british man whose sense of humour includes soft sarcasm and very artistic references aka im the only one snickering to myself most of the time
(Not that im artistic but-)

Let's all try to have a safe and fun day ahead ok!
And let us be warmly greeted by these annoying bois
And by annoying I mean I appreciated dan singing lazytown despite the smink hair

//edit//

3.37am

Barely 3 hours in and im already over the pastel aesthetics hahhahah I love myself

Tuesday nights (more like Wednesday mornings) always comes down to this- me at 5am about to sleep but then gets a liveshow notif from fredrico howell and thus i'll end up having to get ready for school straightaway. Not complaining though (yet)

Anyway I packed my charger in my bag because I charged my phone fully before midnight- and now im laughing to myself cause did I really think i'd not need the charger (ok now the word charge looks annoying)

Kinda sleepy but... let's see

00.38am

I'm thinking of doing one shots here- because I write so many stories but I never commit to completing them.
Currently working on one.
I guess I get inspired really quickly, even a glance to a stranger or a text message and poof a whole novel writes itself in my brain.
Just that, you know, from the brain to the hand, not so much.
Hahahha hashtag not lazy but lazy.

(Actual representation of me after imagining the whole novel written out in my head)

Grammy day! (6.36am)

Goat morning!
Look what I woke up to heheh (photo attached)
As much as I don't care about the Grammys, my hunty is nominated AND is performing so I wish her the best of luck- literally does not need to prove herself as I said countless times.
Talent is talent even if not seen or appreciated.
Do your usual demdems and slay them all!
I luhya

//edit//

8.07am

Hahahahaha adele won..... nevermind you still da best dems! If this means you'll work harder to make an even better album (idk how it will be possible but knowing you it will) then please keep losing! 

Honestly though I havent heard Adele's full album nor do I have any interest to, but her singles have been nice- does not in any way beat songs like Stone cold, Father, freaking Lionheart

But hey like I said, girl does not need a trophy to prove her worth; this just means she has more to contribute and work for.

All my love to demdems!

//edit//

12.07pm

Wow it's barely noon and im a mix of feelings- Bray wyatt won chamber ewwwww i cant even 

Demi slayed her performance, and pentatonix won a grammy and naomi finally won women's champion

See, mixed emotions. Just eww @ bray winning

Class ended half hour early so im currently lunching and then will head home yayy

Try new things (20.58pm)

Currently waiting for my froyo at onekm!
Had such a long night and day but im at ease so Alhamdulillah
Morning class tomorrow aka bluek but ok monday mornings are good and fresh may everything go smoothly!
Went for dance this morning and then lunchinner with the fams courtesy of our lovely grandma, and managed karaoke for awhile before coming here.

Yesterday and this morning with izzul and family was real nice!
Izzah finally opened her eyes and she was just quiet and staring at "us" hehehe so cuteeee
Baby izzul is so smart now cant handle but will handle!
When we left this morning he cried at the door and izzah cried along too aww hahahaha
Much thanks to cik ros and family!
Love you guyssss ♡

Ok my froyo is here yayy

//edit//

23.17pm

I just realised my title has seemingly no link to this post hahah actually I bought salad just now which is a new thing because im not a rabbit and I dont like vegetables but yup there link to title established already k adios

Shagged- but good day (21.51pm)

Oh my john was slightly panicked at the thought of forgetting to blog thankful for 2ams hahais

//edit//
21.51pm

Currently on the way to woodlands, (omg just as im writing this elephant said the exact same phrase to baba on the phone lol)
Idk why im blogging now hello mabuk man
I think I slept around 3am last night and then had flag day from 9am-6pm so needless to say once I reached home I got a 90 min nap hahah
Was actually a really nice breezy (literally) day with elephant and siti, but they hurt me during dinner cause we were laughing so hard I was physically in pain like I almost had to run away from them hahahaha k melebih
Oh got to see kak sarah for a while we ran and abandoned siti while she was buying chocolates cause I could hear her singing Kesetiaan
Secutesss

I hope to get a solid sleep tonight ;sleeping over at izzul's!!!
For it's gonna be another long day ahead.
And im back to ignoring messages again because hahahah fair treatment okay i'll reply all at the same time

Ok if I manage to find sometime to blog before midnight i'll edit this post

Night chats (2.53am)

Just saw on fb that the vampire diaries has wrapped up after 8 years.
Now I don't watch it, but I remember watching the first episode the day it was released- 8 YEARS what the goat horns that was a long time ago

Ew @ above ok hm lets talk about nice things
Going to Chingay later with the most random bunch of people hahahah I mean i'm not expecting anything but im still excited anyway!
No clue what it even will be about but eyy of course got to yolo always
(I know second husband removed that tattoo from him hand but....)

Occupied weekend ahead with flag day, dance and an outing with family!
May all go smoothly insyaallah
And please eh next week I need to resume attending classes what even I did so well first sem
Hahaha

Have a soulful nice day ahead!

Clear the mind (12.33pm)

Woke up to a lot of messages demanding me to do stuff psssh like I will hahahah jk I will eventually
But seriously I woke up lateish for class and I saw all these nonsense BUT in contrast I got a notif for a dnpgames video but I havent watched it yet because I feel like i'll need it for moral support tonight.
This week will be extra busy but next week (the week we're supposed to go to KL) should be a lot chiller I suppose
Needless to say I have to cancel due to extreme schedule cehh
Literally havent touched anything school related this sem except going to classes and I want to change that

Everytime I write things out it lets me sort my thoughts and poof the jumbled mess is now organized and I realise there's nothing that is urgent enough
As usual, actually thought of skipping class and meeting today but there's just one overarching reason I don't mind going; the science prof is so nice I dont even care that he doesnt take attendance or that noone's absence or presence affects him in any way, I just feel obliged to go (feel obliged? gurl you are obliged excuse you)

Ok so the class is not worrying because I can literally roll a dice to decide (not really I have to decide fast I have to leave home in 20 mins if I want to be on time)
But the meeting though.... ada hikmah my thursday morning class was never registered because after wednesday nights with harmonix (which was so fun btw we met our vocal coach for the first time!), spending thursday nights in school just seem.... no thankish
We'll see la what I decide on eventually cause I dont even know what to do as of now but if determinism were true then i'd have known what I wanted before I know what I want so in the end there's really nothing to worry about ehehe

Have an amazing day ahead, as I plan to do (no matter what I do)
(Why does that sound like a song)

ps whenever you feel alone, or that noone understands, read, read and pray. you'll realise how many humans feel the same and although it wont help solve anything, it might make you feel better and less lonely

//edit//

21.49pm

Missed it all- may it all pick up by tomorrow. This will be the last week i'll let myself miss school and meetings for no/non-important reasons....hahahah

Coordinate, please (2.52am)

Current status: my eyes feel heavy but my brain is the most awake it has been the whole day
Aka whats new

I have a morning class later so I figured i'd get a decent amount of sleep (2, 3?) before getting ready
Oh no I thought i'd get at least 4 but not gonna happen obviously unless I miraculously fall asleep right after typing this sentence
.
.
.
.
Nope didnt happen
Bummer but oh well!

Fb history says on this day I saw zizan for the first time ever...
Monumental though nothing can beat our 2nd meeting at karoot komedia (aka the day I met dato siti upclose too aka the day all the dreams came alive)
Saw on insta that soep and sarah are finally getting their wedding!
I was so confused seeing the press conference cause I was like "huh what soep sarah" then I read the caption and "oH right, married but not wedded" (lol jk what does that even mean)
So yes, 6 years and 3 babies later, they're finally getting a proper wedding!
And I read rumours about jep boi getting engaged this month idek
Im just happy for them
And I actually watched meja bulat sepahtu and got that slightly emo, proud moment where I just thought of their past struggles and now theyre hosting their own show it's just... man dreams do come true just keep working and believing.

Ok im not even kidding my eyes are burning
I'd probably go write a story before attempting to sleep
Goodnight, sweetdreams!

//edit//

6.09am

........ yep time to get ready! Thank you james howell for catching me before I fell with that livestream- you woke me up u lil shiz, I loved it 

ps me except im not pink bluek

It's hard to be you

People... often find it hard to be themselves.
We're never happy with who we are- well, at times.
There are bouts when we begin comparing ourselves with others and there are times where we say: What am I even thinking, im perrrfect
It's so weird how normal and abnormal this is because if we know for a fact that somewhere out there someone wants an aspect of your life, why do we still NOT want to be us?
Humans are weird and fascinating.
(Dont think so lowly of yourself, I hate math but I am willing to bet statistics supports my above statements)

I was reading an acquaintance's blog and she was so, idk how to put it, uh, upset (couldve used a better word but none seem apt) over the fact that she's a burden to her friends, that she's a needy person and all that jazz.
Im here thinking literally- people like me who are more emotionally independent (i guess... hahahah remember i dont like labelling myself ok pls take this as a passing remark) would find that a totally okay, and perhaps even good thing.
Being able to be human, in a world where the need to portray perfection is strong, is a breath of fresh air.
You might find yourself a burden, heck your friends might too (if theyre not true friends of course, but even the best have their limits sometimes- let's hope not) but the fact that you bare it all out there, is commendable.

For me, im comfortable in dealing with my emotions internally by myself.
Im not the kind of person who needs to rant to others, I rant to myself for myself by myself (explains my blog and myriad of diaries hahaha)
Two of my bestfriends are the same, which means I never know about any of their problems because they're either just like me or they have other people they're more comfortable talking to.
That doesnt make me love them less, I just understand.
But of course I have friends who are otherwise, theyre more expressive and verbal with their deepest emotions and things bothering them.
I love listening, I love being able to understand them, I enjoy sitting there and thinking about how i'd act if I were in their shoes and NOT tell them anyway because most of the time, people just want listeners, not opinions.
Just for me, I dont even want listeners hahahah no paparazzis pls

I love it, the more I read the more I learn about the nature of people, and all the more I see with my own eyes how similar mankind is. (ah im sure noone will think this but I just need to mention this: not mick foley mankind)
Afterall, we're just beings who wants more than merely survive but sometimes life shove us down so hard, we give up.
People always say to never give up but it's not actually the worst thing to do.
I have given up on a lot of things; friendships, hopes and idk-what-else-to-put-as-examples
But I always find new ones, had I not given up on the past, I wouldnt have space and energy to focus on the new.
So go for it, literally let go of things that makes you unhappy.
As much as there are things worth fighting for, sometimes we just have to jump the cliff and just believe in fate.

I end this post hoping and praying anyone reading this finds love and kindness within them, and then spread them like (insert whatever analogy you like: sunshine? peanut butter? confetti? idk)
I wish you happiness and anger, sadness and boredom.
Because these emotions reminds us that we're just humans, we're one and the same, and we have each other.

From one human to another, (unless an alien is reading this hello from my species I wish you well too)
Lots of love.

Surge of positivity (16.37pm)

In a sudden bout of extra positivity after a draggy day yesterday so im happy about it though idk when why and how hahaha who needs answers anyway!
Literally did nothing this whole morning and afternoon but I got stuff to do so i'll start on it soon
(as always, soon ranges from 3 mins to 7 years)

Ok that was an hour ago now my mind is just "do i really need to do an assignment"
Then I realise it's just a draft hahahaha anyway harmonix tomorrow and we're learning beatboxing (ermagerd) and an actual vocal coach will be coming to work with us
My team is great theyre literally meeting NOW to work on our song
Obvs im not there I have no class and no interest to travel 90 minutes (I mean theyre worth it but... cmon you get me right)

Ok idk why I have been listening to Cobalah untuk setia these past few days
It's one of those songs where I hear snippets and I memorize the chorus and actually full out rock to it but never heard the full song until now hahahah
Anyway yep love it

Talking about loving things, Dan's new video!
Hahahaha literally me except I never bothered lessons and I have more self esteem about my (non existant) skills (hahahaha more self esteem really i dont see it) despite not being as good as him what even

ps sometimes I forget how beautiful second husband is so here is an appreciation for his beauty

pps i feel like if i were living in a country where seasons are a thing (yep no seasons here on the equator) my fav seasons would be spring or summer idk 

K nope (2.08am)

Forget my post a few hours ago
I cant sleep ayy back to the nights of toss, turns, giving ups and randomness
Not that I mind it
Just, whatever goes la ok hahaha
Could probably nap after class later but lets see im not a napper??
(am a rapper hahahahha)
k bye will edit later

//edit//
18.13pm

DO I need to say, I missed class today
That rhymes and sounded beautiful but hahahahah
What is up with this particular group of people im with theyre like assigning me to do the weirdest things like without asking or even telling me???
Literally who told you u were allowed
Goat horns
Cant even comprehend in this day, age and organization that there are these kinds of people hahahaha idk whether to laugh it off and yolo things up or just straight up say no thanks not interested
Probably the former, as I always do

Oh snap I just remembered I have an assignment due wednesday zzzz pls do it hunty thanks

Baby steps (22.11pm)

Wew i've been blogging late but still, im a month into daily blogging which is pretty impressive hahah.
Had an early morning today due to dance but it went well!
Best of luck to ms eatgo for her new journey ahead muehehe.
Went to vivo afterwards to meet the fams and managed to get new flats and chokers hahahah I got problem my choker collections tsk3
Spent the rest of the afternoon playing taiti and enjoying the sunset before heading home and so here we are!

I have a test tomorrow morning... I will try and avoid getting monday morning classes next sem idk why I even allowed myself to ahhah
No idea what will be tested so im torn between trying to fall asleep before 11pm and waking up at 4 again or just review the materials now and then sleep
I mean revision and me are not friends so I bet i'll end up youtubing till I fall asleep hahaha ok lets try not to
But the bummer part is that I have 6 hours to spare before the meeting at night *cries*
Oh my goat yes I can edit videos and do my assignment okok set best insyallah all goes smoothly!
Ok hm now I shall catch up on them vlogs and maybe if got mood find out what is to be tested tomorrow.
Hope you have an amazing week ahead, keep pushing through!

O snap! (23.36pm)

This is why I shouldve blogged last night oh my I almost forgot.
I slept at 4am yesterday so people it was indeed just a phase (a phase I dont mind repeating pls it made me so productive and I mean not better just different)
UghHhh but I had a great day yesterday, went and met with yol early to buy the remaining of nelly's presents hahaha before going to karaoke where we had some no-mic choir moments and listened to weird looking songs that turned out to be nice! (Oh the booking debacle went well because while I was otw and thinking of how I could confirm my reservation, mama forwarded an sms by them so thank thee for sms conformations phew!)
Headed off to marina square for qi ji before walking along the floating platform to embrace the chinese new year exhibitions thingy
Proceeded to MBS and lepaked till 11.45pm lol last train lah tsk
Talked about anything and everything as usual, laughing while remembering what we were laughing at when we were in school.
Aka feeling old which is never a good feeling (until you see some teenagers and you just feel proud to disassociate yourself from that age group hahaha k)

Went to meet khali and lesnar for bowling earlier on and actually won a lucky draw prize hahaha
Ok im too tired to type anything else so i'll just-
Ahhh just remembered I have dance tomorrow morning so I should sleep early last training 2 weeks ago I didnt sleep and I got drunk by dinner with izzul and family remember hahah

Kk have a great weekend ahead!

ps actually woke up to another dnp games video is this real life gamingmas has toughened them muahaha this is great 

Chillax night out (00.29am)

:(
Im awake
Im not happy about it but I think that was it, the "good healthy habits" were just a phase and a super short one at that
Oh well, im back to the comfort of the night hahais
Still aiming to wake up earlier than necessary so i'll just set my alarm but we'll see what time i'll naturally wake up.

Went out for dinner at novena with elephant and tried jolibee!
Got.my.cookies
Rained a lil when we left home but I guess it stopped while we were eating so when we left for city square it was a nice atmosphere hahaha what does that even mean
Since young we've always wanted to go for sisters' outing, sisters' day out and we would always get excited at the prospect of just us two going out doing stuff together but now we're older we dont do it often enough so thats one to do list of life!
Including baby chiqa ofcus cant leave the baby out muehehe.

Anyway idk if I booked the karaoke room for today right.... I forgot if I said "tomorrow" or "Friday" or I dont even know if the man caught my message cause it was literally "ok whats your number" and I accidentally gave my mum's number but I felt weird to correct myself like who gets their own number wrong (AND I DID IT TWICE TODAY HAHAA ONCE WHILE DOING IBANKING)
So yep I hope the reservation went hahaha
But if not oh well we can always do anything else; it's the company that matters

Have a goodnight's rest, sweet dreams!

Let's do this patiently (15.52pm)

After a whole day of ignoring messages yesterday, I finally responded to all.
Hahha how is it that I went from o yas the lepakness is real to do this and this and THIS wait you forgot tHIS TOO
Super grateful that all these came after my down week oh gosh seriously
Alhamdulillah!
I forgot how much I dislike responsibilities until im spammed with like 7 at once all from different sectors in life but i'll slay this well, insyaallah.

I slept at 1am last night....... after so long (I bet it was only like 4 or 5 days but it felt so long) I was awake past midnight but I was actually sleepy just didnt sleep.
(Lowkey was enjoying my new sleeping schedule as much as I hoped it wasnt permanent I love being a nocturnal creature but this new change worked amazing for me lets hope it returns and lasts a bit longer please and thank you)

Woke up to my alarm set at 8.38am and went back to sleep for a while before getting ready for school.
Yup I actually got ready to school before realising that 1) I wasnt early (not late, but not early- as I wouldve wanted to be)
2) I needed food (not even joking I usually dont care about eating but this morning I just felt like I needed it hahahaha see listen to your body giving out signals for self care wait what am I even talking about)
3) I had a test I ignored (what even was it about??? i still dk)
4) My urgent to do list was untouched (!!!!!!!)
Needless to say I missed class today, I missed the test but for now I can't care about it yet, though I will eventually.
For now im just relieved that my urgent to do list is cleared.
Sometimes I forget im a student I mean i've never really prioritized academics like ever hahahaa but perhaps, now is a good time to bring myself back to focus on studies (Wait, back? Never even started hahahaha)
Let's see if I can do it.

As of right now I need to takecare of my wellbeing before I can take care of others.
Lol idk where that came from who am I even taking care of hahahahaha noone and everyone at the same time hahahahah
Am I drunk yes I am

Meeting north pole tomorrow finally for karaoke!
May the remaining of this week go smoothly for all of us Amin!

Happy February! (22.54)

New title format?
Ah go je hahaha
Currently in 154 otw home so needless to say im experiencing motion sickness right now but I cant risk blogging when I reach home because I might forget
Just wrote a list of things I have to do by tonight and wow......
Btw I slept around 11.45pm last night and I actually was tired enough to snooze till 7.15am and miss my morning class???
Does this mean my body clock is adjusted to this weird sleep-wakeup early system!!!!
Ok la i'll try adapt
Still doesnt eliminate the thousand things to settle
We can do this!
(We? Mmhm)

Woke up to a dnpgames video hahahaha cant even.
Ooh im alone in this bus now
Just got back from harmonix and yep wednesday nights are always funnn though it was crazy trying to figure out the parts hahahais the joys of singing groups!
OHE meeting tomorrow night.... will try and survive that.
Ok I shall stop before I get dizzier
Goodnight sweetdreams, dont push yourself too hard go take a break have some ice cream (note to myself too)