Liking someone is hard.
You never know where their heart it.
You never know where their mind is.
At least, you think, if he don't have anyone in mind, you have a chance to court him.
to impress him.
cause that's what you've been doing your whole life.
impress to gain.
and then you think, has it got to be this way?
can't he just fall for you the way you fell for him, the way he is?
And then thoughts come flooding.
It's scary.
He could fall for someone so easily.
As easily, as unpredictably as you did.
This is scary because you never know when his feelings will last.
You stand nowhere in his heart.
And then he courts her.
He tries to impress her like you try to impress him.
But the difference?
He got the one he wanted.
Why wouldn't he?
He's perfect.
In your eyes, atleast.
And then comes the relationship.
It's scary.
It's scary because you never know how long they will last.
It's scary because you can't wish for them to be over, just like how you wish for your torture to be over.
You don't want to see two people so bonded at the heart, have to seperate because of your feelings for him.
And then you start to doubt.
If you even fell for him at all.
Or was it just a dumb crush?
You don't know, and you don't wish to figure it out.
Because you are scared of your own relevations.
You are scared of the truth.
The truth is you loved him, liked him enough to let him chase his happiness.
But not enough to grab his attention.
Grab his heart.
It's scary, because if they did last forever like he probably promised, you would have lost the love you wanted the most.
So from the day on,
you just get to see his beautiful face.
smiling, that beautiful smile that just creates nothing but pain.
The joy which inflicts sorrow.
You embrace every single time you caught his eye, even though deep down you know you're just a passing being.
You try to avoid from wasting another wish on him.
Wishing that he would open his eyes and see who you really are.
Wishing that he'd fall for you as hard as he fell for the other girl.
Wishing that what's never yours,
comes back to you.