05.49am

Oh yes I got my 8 hours of sleep it is a miracle but also frankly time I didnt even get the chance to negotiate or manipulate because of how tired I get after work lol
May today be a good day
At least I know I wont be grabbing to work ahahhaa

00.50am

Tired, not even home yet, but the biggest source of my pain is the fact that I have work in 7 hours.
Much eww and cant wait to leave
Sis cant afford to dread every monday lol
This is not a feasible lifestyle
Literally just the thought of how I have 1 more full month until my initial contract makes me eughh
One more month of going to the office?!?!
Heck nah but imma take it day by day like a champ
It'll be less than 25 days because anga's wedding leave, christmas, ok ok ok i got this insyaallah
Here's hoping I crash right as my head hits the pillow and somehow manage to get some quality sleep

+==edit==+
01.32am

Finally home and settled down the fastest ever
At least my eyes are heavy and not in true me fashion aka I suddenly feel awake once I lie down lolz okie got hope I can fall asleep soonish
I think i kinda hurt my thumb it feels sprainished
Wew

+==edit==+
07.14am

Feeling more tired than before I fell asleep ahahaha
But I understand it's 40% mental ofcus the thought that I am going to work is wearing me down even harder I dont even feel like moving

+==edit==+
10.33am

Currently in a corporate talk where they are talking about... wait for it...
SMART goals setting
I literally have heard this every year since 2009
Lolol dont people progress

+==edit==+
19.04pm

Today was okay except the fact that I just reached home do you understand that was a 2 hours journey I cant even
This morning I felt refreshed right as I showered, and then the day went smoothly from there
Very smoothly in fact, I only realised the time when it was almost 4pm
But best part it I was more occupied with bonding than actual work
So yay @ that
Was really tempted to grab back but I took the bus and just the weather is so so beautiful today
Such a beach weather
Alhamdulillah for today
If tomorrow is a repeat i'd be content too
Well except the grabbing to work part lol
But yes now home and definitely lying down after I shower
Yay me
Hungry

+==edit==+
19.56pm

Did I mention we did a 7 hour shoot yesterday and this time round my arms didnt hurt cause im strong but I feel like my right thumb is sprainedish
Why do I feel like I already blogged this
Oh well blog again cus a bit pain hahahaha

22.07pm

Im quite unready to make the sure decision to leave my job
But the universe keeps giving me signs to yolo
And who am I if I dont heed these clear messages

+==edit==+
22.14pm

I love seeing the outside so crowded, it's very lively!
Feels like a weekend
May everyone stay safe and healthy!

06.36am

Oh look who's up very early and alarmless and fresh when she absolutely does not have to be
Im tellin you my physical and subconcious being is giving me a clear message

+==edit==+
12.54pm

Woke up to an empty house
Why everyone got life except me >:(
Ok to be fair I should have been out working but last minute cancellation
But god knows I need this rest- in every aspects honestly

+==edit==+
13.46pm

I am simply put, ruined after listening to the newly released Tinggalkan diriku
The fact that arwah sarah's live showcase rehearsal take can be released as a single is such a testament to her talent
So beautiful and heartwrenching

+==edit==+
17.16pm

Going through social media today is just me realising I have no friends haHhahah

07.16am

Cant remember the last time I had a full night's sleep
So tell me why I still woke up tired and snoozed my alarms (ok i woke up too early so I went back to bed)
But yay, it's friday and it's also a special day because it's our dearest shab's wedding this evening

+==edit==+
08.33am

Access cards are stupid because I forgot mine and now I cant freely roam and get coffee

+==edit==+
12.18pm

Oh im gonna cry!!!
Watching sepahtu reunion and the crowd's reaction when soep entered
True sepahtu reunion happening goosebumps

00.08am

Had a lovely off day
Chiqa got her results and I bought many pretty peel off nail polish colours and finally watched gv episode 1 which made me want to sing so I sang
Back to work later zzz

+==edit==+
19.24pm

Some days positivity should be force fed because it can save
Sometimes like today only being stoic is the answer
I shall not think nor feel
I shall not associate
Im home almost 2.5 hours after work for no good reason
But now im home alone I shall breathe and stop doing things and find peace
I survived today

22.53pm

This giant sigh of relief within me that I got 2 days mc

10.18am

In pain, cold and sleepy
In a very Dont talk to me mood but im taking it slow today
Hoping to go even slower just noone bother me okay
Cant wait for nap time aka lunch time

+==edit==+
17.57pm

Barely survived today but I did because of how passive I was lol
The one day my arms hurt I had to do heavy lifting so like how rude
Currently tethering at the confirmation to leave this office job because I cannot stand working in an office anymore I cannot stand 9 hours of my life (plus 3 hours of travel time to and fro) wasted on something that does not make me happy
Knowing me i'd try and tolerate for a few more months but dear me from me: Leave soon please thank you

+==edit==+
23.14pm

Also the things that are pushing me towards early retirement from office life all happened today:
1) The higher up walked by my table while I was resting my eyes from the screen and asked "What are you doing" and that is offensive is it my fault I do my work really quickly that I can afford to take a break and then he says "Be careful if people come in" (I assume in case other people sees me 'idling') First of all, I do my work well and efficiently. Second of all I dont want to work at a place where the culture is we have to care about what others think and that appearing busy is better than doing nothing
2) I had to do heavy lifting today. I carried about 350 books and now my recovering arms are even more sore than before and it made me realise I am not physically cut out to do this job my strength is for wrestling not book stacking
3) Out of nowhere im being trained to do two people's jobs because they're both leaving BUT my pay will remain the same even though im tanking two people's roles (this is a rich concern coming from someone who never cared about her salary but girl knows her worth lol)

So yes. I think it's fair that the universe is presenting me with these red flags and I urge my innermost self to not see these as something to push through and survive because it's not worth it
But also I was reminded about how when I was on a week mc from vertigo they kept bugging me to check my emails and that was very annoying I couldnt even use facebook if I wanted to and you want me to reply to work emails please
Honestly, the hardest part is not leaving or job security because I am beyond that point- happiness is my priority I will work hard somewhere else
The hardest part is just telling them im not continuing but I have to do it soon so they can start finding someone else who is more willing to be a government slave
Im not it
Peace out
Im hungry

ps honestly if im being selfish I can just leave in 3 months when work will be idle- but they will suffer because the person who can train my replacement would be long gone by then and I wouldnt have learnt enough to train them

01.23am

Right now im a happy camper
Just one rehearsearl hahaha I was waiting to sing the new song for 2 weeks and finally got to hear more than myself + pianos :')
Cant wait for full squad to unite

+==edit==+
15.55pm

Exhausted is not really the word
My entire physical being from my head to my toes hurt im not even exaggerating it feels like I just ended wrestling class but worse
Im not sleepy though I got 2 hours of sleep but my exhaustion also includes dry eyes
I had vertigo this morning for like 2 minutes so that was scary im thankful it didnt persist
But hey, I survived my second ever wedding shoot!
This time as a videographer which was exciting
But yes now im physically zzz
I cant bend my arms cause it's so sore so like typing this makes my arms burn
Alhamdulillah am home, showered, eaten and now that im ready to crash, the rain just started

01.42am

My entire body has been hurting since ive had to go to the office daily lol
The pain is real

+==edit==+
16.31pm

Yo I just looked down to my phone and felt a milisecond of vertigo no way josé u are not allowed to return to my life ever again

07.43am

.... good morning i guess
I should go get ready

+==edit==+
13.18pm

Im on week 5, and idk why dato ac giving motivational words to the new comedians makes me so emOtional
It must mean so much for them to have someone who has shared stages with the best of the bests to applaud and acknowledge your efforts
But also, WELL DESERVED 5 HAs for this crazy group called Bahye
So excited to watch more but also im right on time cause tonight will be a fresh new episode

+==edit==+
13.53pm

Please la Tiro is too impressive wtheck they deserve the many2 HAs theyre getting and Noh is right what a complete package WAIT WHO NEVER GIVE HA their expectations too high now
It feels like sepahtu when every week im like How are they gonna outdo themselves and they just do, every single week
Speaking of I miss jep's nonsense

+==edit==+
14.28pm

Ooh I cant believe I actually caught up and watched the first 5 weeks
I didnt think i'd watch it this year but really not bad ah the contestants so
Excited for tonight's episode!
Otai pls buck up we're all rooting for you azlee is so humble even though he's so legendary

+==edit==+
20.23pm

Another mixed feelinged day
So many things (more like people) annoyed me but also there were pleasant things including finally finding glitter eyeliner
I think the annoyed is mostly exhaustion aka I have less patience but like it's all internal
Waking up before im ready makes me not a good version of me lol
But, giant breath of relief that it's Friday and im finally settled down
Cant wait to play with new makeup, havent had proper food today but im too tired to move to think about food
Okay bye

ps hdb has been on my nerves for YEARS trash muffins

13.32pm

Feels so good to be home on a weekday
I just couldnt wake up this morning lol

+==edit==+
13.59pm

One day eventually my heart will catch up on being okay and light again
Dont tell me I dont give you time to heal ah talk to my hand

+==edit==+
20.29pm

What a day of emotional roller coaster but I only want it to go up from now onwards okay so im reaching out
Want a rehearsearl soonest because I keep listening to our One recording of I just called to say I love you and I need more with more correct notes and tempo lolol
Also did I mention no I didnt I got through suara top 40 again but honestly pulled out cause the compulsory ARTs lol (cus if u miss the free session you have to pay yourself) and schedule doesnt allow
But im also in another random competition with e.a.r.l and we did a green screen recording honestly I dont remember if i blogged all these I feel like I have been such an inactive human and blogger I vlog a lot though (yes, still unedited i tried to edit Melaka 2018 vlog at work but I stopped after making the title lolol)
Well, I remember exactly when it began to feel downhill but my hormones are probably playing tricks on me im okay this is just a down day
So happy to have had the day off from work but at the same time I did nothing so like hahahahaa
It's okay
I was gonna say TGIF but is it even friday tomorrow or is it thursday i lost sense of time sistas
Ok bye would be nice if ballingers dropped a vlog today

ps Happy 13th birthday Farrieal iqim and 12th birthday Farley aqil, i miss you my baby nephews and your entire family T.T i promise to tell yall ghost stories the next time we meet

+==edit==+
23.20pm

Pasttime is writing my own stories with all the possible heartbreaking scenarios so that if any happens to me (please no) i'm semi prepared because reading my own works hurt me hahaha

00.57am

I was sleepy and ready to sleep again like an hour ago but I did these things called eat and drink coffee so I might have woken my internal system up
Also about yesterday, I managed to turn my day around just by not caring and being more present and purposeful
Instead of fuming I started a conversation with the grab uncle (who again I might add was kind enough to advise the non-erp route)
And the day turned out positive despite reaching the office 10 mins late (which is so lame like work is 9 hours so I can be 10 mins late pfft people take smoke breaks longer than that ahahah)
(but also my manager and colleagues are all chill anyway so thats a plus so all was good except.... the 22$ i had to spend oof heart pain)
Lunch was great mama packed me lunch but I didnt have enough hydration cus I didnt have coins and I dont drink water hahahahaha lol so I drank 3 cups of hot drinks but didnt even finish them
I was fresh though like didnt even nap during lunchtime!!! (Thank you MLM for accompanying me, I miss the OGs but it's so nice to see familiar faces and new ones too ok la all nice la)
Thought of all kinds of adventures I could do after work but ended up grabbing back because suddenly got tired at the last hour (I reached home in 15 MINUTES I was elated) and found out my period just came so no wonder the sudden tiredness
MmmMm okay I just looked through chiqy's secondary school selection booklet and saw that CHR no longer offers Higher Malay!!!! (And no malay dance, but beautiful to see choir is thriving thank you to papa liew and my batch hahahah)
Our legacies wew
I wanna go back some day and walk the corridors
Im very fond of that place
Ok no time for emotional tonight I should attempt to rest (or maybe not, maybe I will sleep at 6am and get a 20 mins nap again, we'll see)

+==edit==+
07.30am

You know how they say while attempting lucid dreaming you test when youre dreaming by trying to read something cause it wont make sense
That doesnt happen to me lol I dreamt I was writing a script and the main character girl was a secret shark prophetlike figure hahahahaha lolol
Also yea im here cause I am exhausted and also failed the no grab challenge this morning
(Also im hearing chiqa wanting to skip last day of pri school I WOULD NEVER HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT IT my pri school experience was so fun and I have friends and teachers I love) (but mama is convincing her to go even though school started 15 mins ago and she's still in her pyjamas but like I agree GO LITTLE ONE)
For the past few work days i've always woken up before or when my alarm rings at 6.38am, but I snooze and then I have never been able to wake up before 7.20am which is just a tad too late because my bus comes at 7.35am like if I had woken up 5 mins earlier I couldve rushed but not even
Isnt it annoying that if I caught that bus I wouldve been actually Early to work just by waking up 5 mins earlier but my body just dont bend to time that way and I dont blame it I understand you are a victim of capitalism hahahahaa ok tiba2
Me last night: Oo I should play with makeup in the morning
Me now: Like I ever will
Lol ok fine i'll get ready now

+==edit==+
09.19am

All is well
Also I never realised how impressive Zero is I mean ive always liked them but they feel so natural it felt effortless until this season's MLM when they split into 2 groups and both groups are doing so well
What a cute community
Also im happy daniel got to team up with 2/3 of zero cause he's so talented and this group spurs him on and helps him grow
I miss the jozan jambu sepahtu shiro and syjs but the newbies are doing not bad at all

+==edit==+
22.42pm

Whoa I slept 3 hours tonight like 7-10pm
Also how annoying that both my wifi and 4g are lagging right now

00.00am

Pls I was just gonna add another edit to the last post but the clock struck midnight ahaha
Just wanted to say that I miss being Available for anyone and anything pre-office hours
Cant wait to get that freedom back
For now i'll hang on and do my best and complain when necessary
But yea I miss being free on weekdays and down for any projects and if anyone needs helps or company
I will make sure I gain that ability again insyaallah

+==edit==+
08.08am

Woke up earlier than yesterday
Was gonna leave earlier than yesterday
And I was like okay good today is the day more people will be in the office anyway so great to be early
But freakin grab crashing on us and ryde giving me a driver 15 mins away and my only hope is gojek with freaking exuberant prices
Tuesday you were supposed to be better
I am disapOINTED
I need with all my heart for my driver to be a fast one if im paying 22 for not I will just not do anything
Ok he is nice to help me avoid 4$ erp (also why are u this way government, ripping us off this way) but I will definitely be very late so
Im just gonna pretend nothing is happening
I dont exist

+==edit==+
08.22am

So what is this situation I should have just took an mc it costs half the price and none of the stress of pleasing anyone and being upset over the innocent driver uncle's friendliness and slowness in driving
Pls la

+==edit==+
08.43am

Ok fine I decided to live in the moment and not be upset over the reality that i'll be what, 10 mins late lol
So okay I am ok now in the office and beginning to freeze
Here's to a better day,
I... cant wait to not do this

+==edit==+
20.21pm

Crashed the past 2 hours lol

08.07am

Woke up like 15 mins ago and only had a 1 second thought of I should just take MC but I just got up and got ready and now despite the crazy monday morning grab fares im on my way to work and insyaallah will be on time
Sounds like the start of a good week to me insyaallah I hope hope and will make make it too

+==edit==+
11.53am

But why does opening bottles hurt my hand

+==edit==+
12.44pm

Today im happy because the office isnt freezing ahaha

+==edit==+
23.53pm

Alhamdulillah today was pleasant
Wasnt happy happy but at ease and smiled so thats amazing
Work went okay, I was occupied so time passed quite quickly
Got ice cream right after work, :)
Went home to fetch chiqy before heading to nenek's place where I crashed and napped for an hour while chiqa babysat our turtles Chicken, Nugget, French and Fries (she named them)
Also, Happy 30th birthday to Anga (last birthday as a single man!!!) And 22nd birthday to Ele, aka the fat twinz!!!
May you both always be blessed with health, wealth and happiness, achieve success, and have a better year than the last ♡♡

12.14pm

The cold weather simply puts me in a foul mood
Lol is this what yall feel when it's hot and you're all angsty
Cus same but not same especially when the cold is manmade like WHY do u need the fan so strong and aircon so cold

+==edit==+
23.57pm

The pms emotional heaviness is real and I hate it but I guess the fact that im aware makes it better but like deep down inside I still feel sad for no reason
Zzz it's ok because when im sad I always have ballinger family to accompany me
...another office day ahead
Ive never dreaded mondays but like.. office

02.19am

What I thought could have potentially be an adventurous friday night became just another weeknight aka me sleeping right as I get home
Only difference is I bought new contacts but the colours I wanted were not in stock so like zz but it's ok
Here's to a wonderful weekend
But right now, I just feel like watching vlogs of baby duncan so dont mind me

04.15am

If I were a typical homosapien who sleeps at night time I would have slept through this cold cosy night
But alas
But, actually, I slept from like 9pm-2am so that was an impressive feat it's probably the longest consecutive sleep I got since I had to face office hours
Just watched vlogs of colleen's twins birthing experience and Bailey's birthday vlog and it make me miss gatherings
Just random picnics or chalets or house visits where all the kids will be busy doing our own thing while the adults talk and laugh and the only time we are disturbed and pulled away from our games or storytelling is to eat and eat
Recover soon, world ♡

Also yea yesterday was another did-nothing at work day which again im not complaining but being in the office to do nothing is not fun
A bit (actually the thing that's bugging me the most currently) annoyed that I have a video to (re)edit from scratch especially since I dont have my laptop with me and if you do things you'll know how important using a familiar device is zz

+==edit==+
08.16am

I dont get it
Why do I still have to get ready and travel in this cold

+==edit==+
17.47pm

Um why is the first taylor swift song i gave chance to by not skipping when it appears in shuffle during tis Heartbreak Season TM making me crai i allowed it cus upbeat but how the lyrics so accurate pls lol
U have talent and curse

+==edit==+
18.16pm

It's simple, really
People do what they want

+==edit==+
19.18pm

Truly the only way to survive others' cruelty is to only see their good
If not we're doomed to a life of solitude
Also the only day I have energy and mood to go out and do adventures I have no friends
Whats new

17.32pm

The way my soul lights up when I get to grab home and be home in 18 mins instead of taking the bus and taking 90-120 minutes
Alhamdulillah
Also, the TGIF feeling is very real this dreary week
And baba visited me at the office for a bit and dropped sugared doughnuts
And now im outttt and I have a life because im going to A MALL on a weekday

+==edit==+
20.54pm

The way I confidently thought today is friday cause I had a semblance of a life
Hahaha

01.21am

Have been replaying our I just called to say I love you recording on repeat and I mean REpeat
Also it's very alarm material I will probably change it soon ahaha
Only slept 2 hours earlier tonight, so probably will sleep again around 4 or 5
Im hungry right now
Also chiqatito's graduation is today D;
How is she done with primary school I cri
So far every school year of her life I managed to send her off for her first day so thats a sister win for me
Not ready for sec school- but we did fine she'll do great too; it was truly the most memorable and impressionable part of life thus far

+==edit==+
07.48am

Another morning of waking up feeling meh about the day's activity aka how is it only wednesday I have only went to the office TWICE in a row and I feel miserable already lol

+==edit==+
19.16pm

Today was trippy because I basically slept 80% of the time at the office because there was nothing to do
So I was tortured in the cold and kept falling asleep, like legitimately REM sleeps I even dreamt about the office hahaha
Like I slept through the morning after watching chiqy's graduation livestream (while eating biscuits dipped in coffee), and lunchtime I just lay down and slept the whole hour, and then I thought that ought to make me fresh enough to stay awake but no I fell asleep again at 3pm
And then spent the remaining 1.5 hours clearing my email
Couldve done nothing at home and saved the grab and ezlink money and the unnecessary peak hour crowd zzz but whatevs
I thought Oh good since I slept the workday away i'd finally go home not tired!!!
But travelling was tiring too so yes im in bed relieved to be able to lie down properly

00.24am

The way I just knocked out for 3 hours straight shortly after reaching home from work
Office hours and I are not friends, she thinks we are but I say NO
But it's ok because I choose to make my time worthwhile
Aiming to take the bus tomorrow morning but like who knows what time i'll fall asleep tonight hahahaa
Ok im hungry

+==edit==+
02.02am

Whenever I feel down in the dumps like this watching ballinger family vlogs make me feel better ahaah thank u

+==edit==+
04.26am

Feels like 4 hours have passed but it's only been 2 ahaha
Anyway @ all the adults ever who tells me to "just sleep and wake up earlier" u dont know me okay also you had decades to have a body clock and also if this were stone ages you'd have needed me to guard the caves at night for YOUR OWN LIVES okay also I fall asleep when you wake up mostly not by choice im just born this way lady gaga said so too
Aka this is me looking at the time and going "again?" knowing full well what will happen in the next few hours aka I will get almost 2 hours of sleep so I snooze my alarm to get another hour in with the tradeoff of having to grab instead of taking the bus
But like I said, I will try to bus today
My eyes are kinda heavy right now
Also last night I knocked out at about 3am so that was a miracle (maybe cause I came back from aca stuff and it is productive tiredness and im happy and at ease hahahahaha)

+==edit==+
04.53am

Also why is it that I can put on henna on my right hand using my left hand and do it well but not nail polish
Shouldnt 3 strokes be easier lolz maybe cus too small
Im also considering not sleeping anymore and just nap during lunchtime
Seems like a plausible option
Also catching up on judy's vlogs makes me happy too
Their vow renewal was so heartwarming

+==edit==+
07.34am

She's at the BUS STOP awaiting her bus
She got 20 mins of power nap and feels quite energetic for now
And she has lunch packed thanks to mama
Good job

+==edit==+
19.03pm

I dont think there will be a day I wont be unhappy about going to the office the travelling itself makes me defeated and exhausted I cant afford to fall asleep right upon reaching home this is gross I need to find a nearer job to me

03.04am

Had a real lovely and exciting and heartwarming Sunday
It both fuels and reminds me how boring going back into office is (aka yes I have to go back to the office later aka why am I awake)
Gonna try and sleep hopefully I fall asleep by 330 aka before 4

+==edit==+
11.08am

What an unpeaceful morning thus far
Dk what route my grab driver took just now but I was too tired to care
People bugging me over things I do not care about in the slightest
Getting news that i'll have to come to the office daily for now
LeAvE me aLone everyone i will litrally disappear i have no regrets and obligations
Now im freezing and hungry so like Turn around already okay Monday

+==edit==+
16.35pm

Okayy the day did turn around kinda
Got an hour nap after lunch, it's somehow not as freezing now, done with so many work and got some good news
Although I have to give props to my strong ability to ignore whatever doesnt give me happiness

05.06am

Had a lazy saturday, ate so much snacks hahahaha
Excited for today, no idea what we're doing but just happy to reunite
Also excuse to dress up ahaha

+==edit==+
07.45am

Why am I not sleepy and why am I watching teded about why we get fevers i dont have a fever but fun factz

08.12am

Just got home from my first experience of an overnight shoot
It was so fun!!!
Granted I didnt do any work for the last 7 hours of the shoot but it was a nice feeling to be part of the production
We started filming at about 9pm and wrapped around 6am, so like anti office hours lolol
All went well alhamdulillah and I drove an auto car for the very first time too
I wanted to move the car from one slot to another
Ive driven before but ive never parked a car ever in my life but my brain says Meh how hard could this be
I did it but like what a crazy I didnt even figure out how to use the car I just switched on the engine and went for it (which afterwards I googled I totally didnt do it right aka have to step on brake pedal before changing gears I did none of those)
Yeah I was shook when the car started crawling by itself but I got it and I did it so what a superhero
Litrally while reversing a car was going to go straight so I pretended I know what I was doing and I dont think they could tell im not a driver ahahaha
But then I lost confidence when suddenly I couldnt reverse anymore (when I tried again to readjust after already parking) so titi the girl with actual license helped finish the job ahahaha
All in all, spirits were all good, weather was cool the whole night alhamdulillah we didnt need any fans nor jackets!
Okay I guess time to rest ahaha but I got some sunshine so im a bit charged

+==edit==+
18.23pm

Yall need to be EDUCATED a cappella is not 1 lead singer and all unnecessary voices without everyone it is no song it is just bathroom singing cmon man

23.52pm

Before the day ends, happiest birthday to the nerdiest person
Just wrapped ele's day 1 of shoot
Onwards to day 2!

02.09am

Kay have been attempting to fall asleep the past 3 hours but of course im not succeeding I already knew it wont happen but I tried not really but still
Have to go back to the office later so gotta get up in 4.5 hours

+==edit==+
07.17am

..... why mei lin, why u gotta ask me to the office today I am a night owl who is not productive in societal timeline of office hours
But actually I always drama ah with social interaction I fake proper restedness but when im alone... zz just wanna not

+==edit==+
11.17pm

How is it only 11am..... dont feel good at all cause wore specs the whole morning
Trying to rest my eyes before I change to contacts again
The dizziness is real bluek
Also out of nowhere my MI history teacher is currently in my bookshop browsing through books hhahahahaha glad to know he's still doing history
I said hi and he was shook
Ahahaha okie my coffee is too hot and my brain hurts

+==edit==+
18.58pm

Wah the amount of time it takes for me to reach home is not okay

01.09am

Baby chiqa cooking fried rice at this timing is correct

+==edit==+
02.57am

My office hours is just 1am-whatever time I complete task for the day and today I ended in an hour so that is excellent
Chiqo's fried rice is superb
I miss going on adventures I feel like I havent fully recovered emotionally, spiritually and physically from the last two weeks of October
I feel at ease, sure but like I dont feel fully myself
The fire did spark for a few moments while I was showering cause I was reading some quotes I resonated with
But after that it went away ahaha but at least I know where to respark myself when I feel like it
This is what I would say it feels like when people say Whatever is in retrograde ahahahah
But I also think I know one of the reasons why, and once this reason is removed i'll be doing so many fun thingzzz hehe so it's okay I will be patient and tide this out insyaallah

+==edit==+
14.22pm

"For once don't look at it rationally"
- Alsu Gara

This is what many people fail to do at times
When man is showing their roughest most genuine emotions is when they find it best to bring up truths, and morals, and should haves and should bes.
Sometimes we just have to let emotions be raw and look at it from a human point of view.
Times like that your rationality helps noone
As much as it is reflex to ground each other,
Sometimes it's okay to just let it be

Merry November (00.20am)

Be right back

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01.38am

Ive been such a bad blogger
Have to remove my makeup
Have to do work before morning because I dont want to do work in the morning
Have to nap because im a bit tired
But doing none of those lol

+==edit==+
04.51am

Yes now I am free to rest since I have removed my makeup and done work
Today my diet consists of 3 breads
So no wonder im kinda hungry now ahahaah but nope I choose lazing around over finding food anyway im only like 40% hungry so not enough

+==edit==+
16.40pm

Cant wait until I can sing sad songs again without feeling anything
For now every song is a turn off lol
A cappella easier cause im focusing on my part and the fun more than the lyrics

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20.19pm

Just got strength from a realisation that jealousy and hurt is merely a worldly feeling
If it is merely a worldly feeling, why would I feed into this peasantness
I am better than that and of course sometimes the feeling will come visit but my role is to swish them away as quickly as it comes
They are but temporary, and a disturbance, and not worth my attention

+==edit==+
22.04pm

Chiqa asked me for some of her quotes that I have in my memo and now im stuck laughing to myself rereading all the nonsense (mostly provided by hmx)
I started this whole quote writing in sec school when i realised mr chai says so many funny things I wanna remember them and now it's my best entertainment litrally laughing so hard right now