00.28am

With a little bit of courage, you can turn your life around

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09.21am

How come this creature is back to all nighter mode
With this power I should have been able to finish cleaning
But idk im not exactly the freshest just not sleepy enough to fall asleep

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20.53pm

First of all why do I have zero strength to finish cleaning hello where did my willpower go
Second of all somemonix reunited and I cant go (not just because I havent finish cleaning but also because humans will think im a person and they'll think we're flouting the 5 people per group law when im obviously not a person)
But just makes me look forward for more future plans
I pray for the hurting tonight, may He protect and guide and grant us blessings insyaallah

17.24pm

How did I end up hibernating again today
I have to finish clearing my clothes man
I need energy!!!!

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21.08pm

Some mistakes have to be made to learn from

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22.55pm

What kind of person craves a Mcchicken
Me apparently
Quarantine life has made me crave so many things but i'll just be too lazy to fulfill myself which is good cause then it'll pass and i'll realise that these cravings are just temporary and unnecessary hahahaha i'll eat whatever i want whenever i want ok brain u have no say over me

23.00pm

I saw an entire newborn!!!
And held him
And saw how painful it is to be a new mother like the physical, mental and social toll

20.14pm

What day is it and at what time
Im not a person
Also idk but im seeing videos on fb where tiktok singers sing in such an unhealthy (fake belting) manner and then I hear people (read: non trained singers) replicating it and I cringe so much
Screaming your notes is totally impressive
Ew my ears and my morals
Get it away from me

22.02pm

Still in a mildly homebody state actually not really I just dont feel like moving much
Half of me cant wait to graduate but half of me is embracing student life to the fullest
Go with the flow as usual, trust everything will work out
Im putting my fullest faith and trust in the universe!!!
Excited for life and what's to come but also embracing (not really enjoying but still) the present
God protect us all and give us capacity to be kind to everything huhu idek what im saying im not drunk

23.32pm

Hibernation day
Slept/sleeping the whole day
Tried to wake up to eat and continue spring cleaning but I just found myself lying down and then falling asleep
Now im awake enough to blog and idk if im awake for real
Good thing is I got so many dreams so im quite entertained
It's so coldd

02.32am

Why am I a person who forgets to blog
Ok to be fair today was cleaning and falling asleep
Just watched Queen + Adam lambert's watch party aish I like it

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23.47pm

Just got back from the state of fun
Didnt get to run into the water but there's always a next time
I got to sit for hours enjoying the sea breeze
There was a monitor lizard so close to us and we didnt care until we googled and deadass google says it's top 7 most dangerous reptile hahahaha
Venomous bite, sharp claws and a whipping tail
What a lovely evening hais.
♡

22.51pm

Just got home from a lovely day
Met my izzul and izzah and had fun playing hide and seek even though for a short while but rest assured we'll visit again soon to play longer with u cuties
Saw my neighbour's new 5 day old baby and she's so cute!!!
@hmx or any of my friends pls have babies soon okay thanks m8
Went to vivo and saw a lipstick called Royal purple so I had to buy it and it is sooooo so beautiful i mean i havent even tried it so idk colour payoff but just seeing it in the tube makes me so happy! (and excited to wear it so maskless society soon pls virus go away or at least be under control enough)
It felt nice to be able to walk around malls again even though I got tired pretty fast i'd take that over not having the choice at all
Meeting a few more humans this coming week for reunion and I hope we all play our part to stay safe I love my friends and family too much to risk negligence
K idk what im saying lolbye may we all have a lovely week ahead!

02.40am

Havent even been to the beach and my emotions are already running high and low
Inner peace

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02.59am

Some things you dont know hurt until it happens
Some things you never shouldve found out that that's the case
May all these just wisen us up

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22.07pm

You know what I want to beraya one day I have this weekend to dress up and be merry

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22.59pm

(wow blogger app u trash)
MY WISH CAME TRUE!!
Im going out to see babies tomorrow and noone can stop me from wearing baju kurung in fact theyre gonna be jealous

00.00am

And im oUT
Jk hahaha
Soon okay
I just want beach so i need beach weather soon pls

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19.45pm

The heckie telegram and whatsapp taking turns crashing funny isit

23.00pm

Oh my oh my
To be fair I have been doing harmowork
My last few agendas before I officially handover
Definitely bittersweet but I dont want to think about it too much
I was supposed to make cheesecake but the thought of whipping things is not appealing right now so im just rewatching E.A.R.L's videos and thinking of starting a powerpoint
I like doing powerpoints if I care about the content enough
My dinner has been waiting for me the past 3 hours
Cooked spicy carbonara today but I think the base is too tangy for my liking (I used pregos) I would prefer a cleaner base but it still rocked with the chilli padi and ofcourse hOtdogs my bff
Just finished the 2nd meeting of the week and tomorrow one more
Also we get freedom in 57 minutes
In my ideal life I would immediately exit to the beach but being at the beach at midnight alone is not a good idea because momok hehahah jk but not really
Ok bye I should go see if I have mood to bake

17.00pm

Successfully picked myself up
Alhamdulillah!
Just needed that few days of going through the emotions before my heart passes it over to my brain (ahahha drama they work together ok best partners ever)
Managed to go out yesterday for some alone time and ended up at vivo city (surprise! haha for real though i was deciding between vivo and suntec idk why suntec maybe cause it's near esplanade)
Just bought some groceries and grabbed home immediately
It was so therapeutic walking around fairprice haha
Also I almost couldnt reach my hotdogs cause the fridge was too deep I wouldve either have to climb and risk falling inside or call a taller person for help but I did it I reached for the stars and got it
I think the thing that helped most was the long bus ride to vivo
I cleared my brain and felt more positive
Went home to Evokals' houseparty and had fun catching up and playing random games with them I missed the chaos hahaha now I also miss our voices together
Spent the night watching Cicakman 3 and Chef, which were both so entertaining- zizan and bell's merepek level was crazy haha
Also I was so down that I thought I was dreaming when I heard the radio say "Phase 2 will begin on 19th June" cause like Yeah right and also I barely heard it so I thought I was dreaming and I was occupied so I didnt open FB so imagine my surprise when I found out it IS REAL!!!
Very very good news to celebrate the end of my rut
I think I will run straight to the beach and find one corner all for myself where noone else would dare come near me
I hope we all stay safe and healthy insyaallah
Woke up to a surprise muffin delivery which im so shook by cause how did u know i have been sad but thank you kind soul
Hmx already planning reunion im so happy hahahaha
Exciting!!!

10.30am

It's what i've ever known and I know I can change this but this bubble doesnt hurt anyone besides myself
And again again again I remind myself that my heart is okay
All will be well
I just need to feel and let go

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14.57pm

The sky is so blue today
Forcing me to remember that things do get better
Thank you universe

16.25pm

Ok done feeling miserable even though I didnt really embrace the sad I still felt down and it's bull im over it
I'll always be stuck in the middle and I will always put people first so nothing much will change regardless of whether I entertain thoughts or not but it's ok cause I know my heart is stronger than I think
And most importantly I have Him.
Now I just want phase 2 to come so I can do my usual routine of walking around esplanade or go to vivo and roam around and end up in sentosa because I cant help myself
If I cant find happiness I will create it myself
Yay
Also can I just throw my appreciation to the radio dj for continuing to play raya songs :')
It makes me so happy to hear it everytime
My head is heavy cus of the fever but this is a good drunken state cause it makes me feel so wobbly and whatever hahahaha

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18.56pm

In the mood for new earrings and nude lipsticks

04.54am

Why is it so impossible to fall asleep
Why
Someone give me answers
Ughhhh help

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15.23pm

A need to silence my mind and just let the heart feel whatever it needs to feel
Go through each hurt and happiness one by one
Get out a stronger and better person
I just need this mind to tone down a little more
And the heart to speak up for both our sakes

14.50pm

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22.17pm

Went to the supermarket earlier on and couldnt even enjoy it as much cause it was soo crowded and my hand burnt?? Probably the new sanitizer or use of too much sanitizer (i dont use a lot i think but still) it was quite bad like I couldnt ball my fists cus it was numb and swelling but after getting home and washing my hands with soap it disappeared
Drama but wow
K bye in a nappy feels

03.34am

Me: accidentally napped between 9-10pm last night and immediately drinks a gallon of iced coffee
Also me: why cant i fall asleep i have to be up in 2.5 hours
Hais
But also fun fact I bought the coffee accidentally cause while I couldnt decide what to have for brunch I walked into a shop and the shopowner asked what I wanted and I felt bad that I wanted Macs last minute so I ordered iced coffee even though I didnt need it but
Heh
Ok I have to either force myself to sleep or just stay awake till 6
I mean it is quite ridiculous to expect my body to listen to my sleeping needs so
Do what you want bruh

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04.40am

Also yesterday I got all the way to under the void deck (ok drama I was from level 2) just to see people in masks and realise I forgot to wear mine hais I did think about it I just didnt do it hahaha cant wait till I can go out without it again

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13.42pm

Very mixed feelinged
Strolled in the rain from the bustop back home
Now all I want to do is take a nap but idk if my body allows me to

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20.16pm

God protect our hearts.
This is tough and disassociating is the easiest way to cope

23.29pm

You dont realise how well maintained the streets of Singapore are until circuit breaker and you see all the overgrown grass
On my way home because something exciting is happening tomorrow
Have to be up super early so I hope I can even fall asleep tonight?!

21.52pm

So weird how the button to push yourself is right there
But sometimes you just drag your fingers around it, on it, and even try and push it slightly but never all the way
Oof loser

19.46pm

Fell asleep at like 1230pm and woke up barely three hours later
Badd
But just got home from grocery buying and it's so lovely to be in a lively neighbourhood, it feels like normal besides all the masks

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21.27pm

Feels like a crime for a girl to find some peace
Why can people be so conveniently misunderstanding?
Miss me with this toxicity bullshit
I may be tolerant but I also seek kindness

17.48pm

The more momentum I gain (aka the easier editing gets) the more I want to take a break cause my brain is like See you can finish this in 2 hours why start now
Hahahaha no please I want freedom
Cmon me lets finish this

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23.41pm

I feel so asdfghjkl cause I JUST uploaded the video but the last hour was filled with sudden problems im shook
But im so relieved it's done and uploaded, but im also quite meh cause my vision didnt happen cause im not in the editing mood
But also cause I cut my content from 5 paragraphs to 3 hahahah
That's the level of doneness im at now
Now I can chill a bit and focus on more harmowork
Harmorework if you may

23.35pm

Am in my happy place surrounded by family
I have to finish this video by tomorrow
I have 24 hours
I also have a raw 14 seconds out of the 3 minutes required done
Video editing is so fun but energy consuming

21.55pm

Will be having my first intended social interaction tomorrow
Am excited to be in a new place and get different air
Yay
Guys I was motivated to start editing my videos in small dosage every day but today my premier pro crashed and I had to uninstall and install again and now I lost momentum
So like
Haiz

19.01pm

Someone came to the door and I got to have an actual conversation with someone and I suddenly feel so recharged hahahahahah omycheese also she brought literal blessings so alhamdulillah I hope she and her fellow coworkers stay safe and healthy in doing their job!
Hahahah im suddenly so happy which is amazing
Also had an intense discussion about discipline until 9am. 9AM about something I dont even have and actively pursue (yet? idk) hahahaha
But it was nice exercising the brain
Also watched yet another Amir khan masterpiece
I have been overlooking him so much and that was an absolute mistake
I mean im sure a lot of people also la I mean all our eyes on King khan which is also not wrong hehehehe but like this genius Amir khan his movies are so good like I watched 4 (non romance duh) of them and I cant even rank within the 4
I feel like the fact that they spend so much time building up the storyline makes any kinds of twists and ending more impactful
Most importantly there are no wasted lines or scenes and that is apparently in other cultures impossible to do whatmore in an almost 3 hour film
Takes an absolute great team of scriptwriter director camera crew and actors and musicians and everything to consistently create such masterpieces im not being dramatic  cause greatness should be acknowledged

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20.22pm

I spent half my quarantine following colleen's vlogs and then the other half following higatv
And currently the RHPC team is doing a new series called King's court and it's amazing!!!
Honestly I would love to do that with hmx maybe I should like music version

21.12pm

I told myself the next time the sky is bluer than efron's eyes I will drag myself out to vivo
Today wasnt too sunny but ended up being quite productive I watched videos about premier pro like I usually prefer to stumble and learn on my own pace but im on a tight timeline so thanks youtube
Also selected more clips and reorganized everything
Also got mcspicy
Im steady
If tomorrow's a bright sunny day im going out if not i'll be stuck again doing video editing boo

18.28pm

Crazy how much of my social media followings are supporting the blackout tuesday movement
Crazy cause I havent seen anything as large scaled as this
Shows how frustrated the world is over something as stupid as racism
Happy Phase 1, my Singapore!
May those who is going back to school and work stay safe
I hope everyone maintains their own hygiene and with social responsibility we will protect ourselves and each other
Woke up to a lovely lovely weather
Alhamdulillah

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19.34pm

We just dont all have the same hearts

Merry June (18.08pm)

I got so sleepy by 3am last night lol early bird tendencies hahaha im amused
I want to go vivo but I dont have an essential reason to but vivo gives me good vibes im glad I got to (read: had to) go twice during circuit breaker
I cant wait till I can go wherever I want whenever I want to like Mustafa or Don don donki at midnight
Or literally be in school or extension till 5am
LAST DAY OF CIRCUIT BREAKER!!!!!!!!!!
People are going back to school and such tomorrow
I pray we are all protected it is scary for families to send their babies to school again but it will all be fine insyaallah
May they feel the sweetness in gaining education for real after being deprived after so long

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19.17pm

You know what
I have gone through the entire circuit breaker without watching hsm
Now I already feel like watching it
What does it say about me
(answer: hsm is part of my normal life)
IM GONNA WATCH HSM TONIGHT I AM GOING TO