An unexpected fullcappella day (01.52am)

What a day filled with blessings and trials hahaha but mostly adventure
I had fun, and ending the night with maggi goreng was a great way
Full week ahead and I plan on being productive since i'm not planning on working
Still havent responded to emails can you believe it
No idea if it's gonna be a laze at home Sunday or another impromptucappella one
Here's to a lovely day ahead!

+==edit==+
23.58pm

Ok to be fair that was a restful slept
Joined chiqa and anga on their arcade adventures and I fell asleep at 8pm for two hours
Cleared all my emails FINALLY please stop being losers people
Now left with messages to respond to but tomorrow I will be meeting cena hehehe
Ok adious

What am I doing, what are we doing (12.19pm)

I am in school and i'm sleepy why am I sleepy I had too much rest I think what time did I sleep who knows
Must be the bad sleep quality
THEN WHAT'S THE USE OF SLEEPING FOR LONG HOURS if my body dont even recuperate in that period maigah powernaps is where life is at
Dreading the walk up the hill
But eh hoping for (and going to create) a more positive vibe within and around me
I haven't grabbed in so long and I didn't miss it at all I feel guilty instead
Also, earth hour gig tonight
I think we could afford to do earth hour everyday actually like just an hour of no electricity if everyone does im sure a small step for man a giant leap for mankind (and mama earth might see we care)
Ok I am sleppy but I see jing yong

Is it a waste (02.20am)

Sure I blogged about this before but ok the concept of "giving the best parts of me to the wrong person" being half bullshit and half might be true but not for the reason we think it is
I realised I have turned into a person who never lets conversations die to someone who'd rather stay quiet and let the other person say more things
Which is... not fun personally cause i'd feel bored hanging out with myself but also like comfortable silence is appreciated but ok whatever i'm sure with the right people the best sides of me will reappear
I might have wasted time putting in effort for people who easily moved on with the simplest bait, but I have no regrets except a PSA for the new people in my life to take time to know me ok whatever you think I am,
I'm probably not that

23.55pm

Almost didn't blog cause I thought I already did
Choreo check last night and i'm happy to see the work put in
We also got our club jacket :')
Im wearing it now actually hahahaha I love it
And ended up staying in school till like 7am trying to decide songs
Wew
Ok I feel dizzy from the teh o I had earlier idk why the tea must be so bitter why you so obnoxious hahahaha please eh Koufu pls buy new tea leaves
Ended up catching 2nd last bus now and I cant tell if im hungry or just dizzy
(Mutually non-exclusive)
Work tomorrow, another 7 hours of dk what to dos aka making myself tired for no reason
Remind me not to agree to the outdoors again please
(but a pure child left a good review on our fb page and he mentioned my name I am so touched why is he like that so precious)
Ok my bus must come soon I need to move por favor

Episodic beanning (01.10am)

If you know me you'll know my title means nothing and everything at once ok who are we kidding noone knows me
Had a fever spell I wanted to blame it on the cold aircon but it has been so for the past few days already like just heaty
But my day was made better by a single creature: ORIGLAZED k im happy

+==edit==+
08.05am

I had something to discuss but I frogot
It's ok
Also tons of emails to reply to and planning to do
Excited but can't seem to find the right mood to activate the mode
Eh, all will be well

Buy time (04.14am)

+==edit==+
04.29am

Not sure if i've been not trying hard enough but I remember too sparsely the details of my dreams with this new sleep schedule
Like i'll remember random bits but not enough to form the full picture
Also my alarm supposed to ring in 5 horas que am I doing here

02.05am

I thought it has been so long since i've been up at this time but hahahahahaitsonlybeentwodays

+==edit==+
20.55pm

I'm supposed to still be at work counting 5 more mins to end of shift right WRONG
Ive been (ok I asked) to be released early so now im halfway home
I feel like I did so much yet nothing hahah
At least I made many new kid friends
Still, tiredish but I had a lovely lunch on top of fort siloso wew what a view and the breeze was beautiful
K bye

+==edit==+
22.20pm

Negative energy is draining, yes I can handle it but why would I spend my time and effort trying to filter what's good from bad when I can live without the bad being an option at all
Sometimes I feel like humans are lucky i'm too lazy
If not noone can live with their non existent integrity
Not like i'm compromising mine by keeping quiet
What am I saying i'm just bicycling I need rest

02.46am

Anytime I sleep before midnight it is scientifically proven my body feels overrested and wakes me up at 2am
Woke up with hidaya's text why cant everyone be honest heheh k back to resting

+==edit==+
16.05pm

This biphasal sleep is making me feel very well rested
Gonna rest the rest of the day before a packed week ensues I forgot what hustling life was like

+==edit==+
19.42pm

Here wondering how different life would be if I met my different friends in different stages of life instead
Thankfully work got pushed back an hour tomorrow which i'm grateful for cause I couldn't imagine toiling for 8 hours (because 7 is ok hahahaha)
Ok bye here's to a fantabulous day ahead

+==edit==+
23.28pm

Seeing people excited about performing reminds me that I couldn't bear to be so blasé about being able to do so, so often
No matter how stoic I appear it's not as it seems
I can't be upset over people being unable to give me what I want when I don't show or ask so
Let's continue living in mystery until it gets tiring
Hahah

04.48am

Don't be fooled, I woke up at 2.52am
At least I allowed myself to continue sleeping ha ha ha

+==edit==+
05.32am

K wait im back to share something disturbingish
Was painting a girl's face and talking to her (one of the things you always hear but have never witnessed, you feel me)
She said she took mandarin and math tuition, swimming and piano lessons
I asked whether she got to rest and play on the weekends, and she deadass asked me, "Play?" before telling me she has extra lessons on both days
HA heLLO child don't please I hope she was just confused over what I meant by play and not that "Who has time for that what is that"
This is almost as bad as seeing a K2 (or K1 lets be honest) kid I saw being sent to tuition after school
These are the kids deprived of actual upbringing
The book smart but hopeless irl I hate to generalize but I see too many of it it's saddening and disturbing
Parents hello, wake up losers it's never worth having a child with straight As and multiple certs if they have little to none social skill, morals and innocence.
Even if they do, it's plastic politeness (saying please and thank you just because it's right)
K whatever end of storytime for now it's just disturbing
On the other hand there are kids who remind me why I am a kid
Yesterday a little 3, 4 (?) year old kid called Emily just walked towards a group of primary Singaporean children and said "i'm emily" (she's the cutest thing) but the singaporeans just looked at her wordlessly im like "Guys she's introducing herself to you"
Ok I thought I said i'm done hello I can sleep for 2 more hours if I want to

+==edit==+
22.50pm

Exhausting but lovely day
It was sunny and crowded everywhere, we walked too much and then suddenly rain hahaha whats new, singapore
But we finally caught up and got updates huhu

01.17am

I knew it felt long since I last worked but I didn't realise it has been more than a month hahah
So after that hiatus I set myself up for 2 straight days of full shifts
Which amazes even me too cause the last time I did a full shift was like ages ago
Needless to say today was tiring
Whatmore with the March holidays crowd
At least I saw many cute babies and made a lot of new friends
Tomorrow i'll be outdoors the whole time which is kind of interesting because i'd be on the beach but also uninteresting because cmon, outdoor playground with bigger kids like I have been pampered seeing babies in a sheltered environment
Also maybe cause of my lack of quality rest but who's counting

Went to palawan after work to find chiqa and ele, lepaked and played dramatic volleyball before heading home I thought I would be tired but that activity gave me energy lol
At least I have the weekends to hibernatenotreally
Here's to a beautiful day ahead!
Even though i'm so lazy to make new friends at the outside playground
Maybe I should pretend I can't speak English

ps yesterday's quest to be on time WORKED I clocked in at 9.59am muahaha alhamdulillah

+==edit==+
13.06pm

Think I had a good rest
Also every 11.57pm on 21st March i'll be questioning myself whether it's tatyana's birthday or if it's tomorrow
Hahahaha ok it's 22nd March ok not 23rd omg I swear the family only recently (last year) remembered it
Less than 8 hours of work left I am going well so far let's GO ME

+==edit==+
21.42pm

I think I can retire hahahaha jk but tired
So weird how my mind has so many things and is yet so empty
I'm a great distraction to myself
A few things to reflect on
Taking in the good of today though, are two kids who went out of their way to say goodbye after they finished playing, a kid who wouldn't want to go anywhere without me (scary but why you so cute) and being lowkey complimented about different things by different people
Was speaking to one parent while doing face paint and I complimented her two year old daughter for being so patient waiting quietly for her turn
Then the parent said "You're so patient" and I thought she was referring to her daughter but she was like "No I meant you"
Lol ok I just want my bus to come now and then I can rest

Also this Yol wants to meet me but she never reply loser doraemon
OH WOW SHE LITERALLY JUST REPLIED after I typed the above
Tau2 je dasar

+==edit==+
22.56pm

Ok wew the shagginess is real
Cant even shower without resting while showering how jellybird
Like I dont feel tired after intense rehearsals or even show days but make me do things unnecessarily and there we go
So please im done
Frogcheese
I could try sleeping now but i'll wake up at 2am confirmed so should I still do it idk my hair is wet so I have time to think

01.23am

Sorry Selena, The heart wants what it wants but logic is there to stop it when it's wrong
You're just too weak to endure the pain before the healing
Why am I emo lol im not
Bye

+==edit==+
05.42am

Incapable of sleepage
I promise I tried falling asleep 2 hours ago but I was just resting my eyes ultimately but let us see if that helps to avoid the potential afternoon crash (as opposed to- I dont really like this phrase- being active all night)
I set 4 alarms just in case ok hahah cause i've not been on time for work in forever and I wanted to sit by the beach before work starts
I even made the extra alarm my Ringtone because somehow the first note is enough to wake me every single time (cause I also feel bad for unknowingly skipping work on Monday)
But who needed that when my body clock is great (at robbing itself of 3/5 hours of allocated rest time)
Haha jk I embrace this superpower

+==edit==+
09.51am

Supposed to be on time for work but I took the wrong bus excuse myself I could've sworn I saw the right destination
But it ok things happen for a reason hashtag I tried and im still trying cause I decided to cab from vivo though 10 mins won't make much difference in my timoptomist eyes
Here's to a lovely day ahead, at least tolerable hahah

Trust, man (01.08am)

I wouldn't have been upset if you didn't out of your goodwill promise to keep your word
I didn't need that but you introduced it to me
Now you broke your own promise
I just need time to process and eventually ignore lol

Also, accidentally took a half hour nap while waiting for my mask to dry
Goodluck falling asleep bro

+==edit==+
04.18am

Do we really have control over our feelings I don't think we do I think here is where we blame logic for not acting enough or appropriately feelings come and go lol
I want ice cream

+==edit==+
09.13am

We really can't expect much from anyone because everyone technically somehow somewhere are still lost children who has some aspects they have yet to learn
Maybe you learnt it prior and they seem daft for not being able to understand or do whatever it is that feels basic to you
Sometimes they really are ignorant
It's so dumb like we like to focus on the negative even though a slight change in outlook will ease your life by so much
Either way the problem won't go away,
You just give yourself less pain and worries
But we still choose to feel something
It's not the easiest choice to be the bigger person and stop feeling angst but please trust me when I say at the end of the day,
It's the best thing you can do for yourself
Either way you will survive except in one case, you'd feel triumphant faster

Here's to a lovely day ahead

+==edit==+
23.34pm

The summary cum lesson of today is that when people want to, they will put in effort.
If not, i'm sorry but they just don't care enough
But ultimately, are they then worth it?
(also dont forget to put your ego down sometimes to be the source of light instead of the lighted)

Going back to old ways (03.00am)

Watching Sepahtu reunion after so long and bruh they making me LOL at 3am how could you I missed this feeling so much hahahah
Also I don't enjoy 5-8pm classes, such an awkward timing but eh
Bismillah for my learning journey
Also I didn't know I was supposed to work yesterday ahahahahahais
Could've been playing with kids instead of resting like a frog peasant
It ok, i'm going back to the kids club within the week so heheheh

+==edit==+
18.00pm

In class okay hahaha finalmente
Had to blog this new quote I learnt-
"Fortuna multis dat nimis, satis nulli"
(Ok lol Abba is on the screen to teach a poem structure)
The quote means: Fortune (personified as a god) gives too much to many, enough to noone.
I love it it's so true and succint
I am ready to run away from class to go to the A cappella workshop hahahaha
What a terrible.
Should I leave during break (in like 20 mins) or within the last hour of the lesson
Eh i'll see how much I can focus

+==edit==+
23.45pm

I ended up staying the whole class and paying attention wow great job
Even though my hmxbabies were entertaining me on text
Workshop went well hehe my frogs are amusing and cute I hate it
Suppered with sitimau and now im home
Hoping for a productive rehearsal tomorrow ok who am I kidding i'll make it productive

It ain't me (02.15am)

I feel like I have so many people to account for
Not as an obligation but more of a want
Anyway, for how I acted today, i'm confused too
It's not my usual self and when I said I needed to (I said this irl but still) head to the beach to do some self-reconnection
I mean it
Hanging out with negative nellies do take a toll on you, and the self I know and love is far from it

Turns out the competition was bad, but like Mitchie and Camp rock felt in Camp rock 2, we won something more valuable
Love
I see Harmonix and my family sitting together and it felt so right
I wished I could've done my babies justice but then again, without this peasant event, we wouldn't have seen our craft grow this much.
I'm happy
Peace will follow soon, hopefully

+==edit==+
07.01am

What is up with my arising too early

+==edit==+
13.22pm

Really don't feel like talking to humans hahah
I realise sometimes we make a big deal of not being anyone's first choice
But most of the time the people you'll need, though you did not ask for or think you'd need, will appear at the right times at the right places.
Yesterday showed me things, and it's more of a revision than a revelation.

What (05.08am)

What time did I knock off even hahah
But hi

+==edit==+
05.45am

Aiyo I can't go back to sleep
Too much

+==edit==+
10.52am

Already having withdrawals from rehearsals, especially with LF cause these frogs idk our working styles just jive so well it's so easy to be creative with them I love it
One of the best parts about a big event is that leading up to the moment, nothing else matters
Work and studies are pushed aside, messages and emails left unanswered, friends who
And it feels like a valid excuse who am I kidding it IS a valid excuse i'm in my zone don't touch me
But also comes the post-event wave of having to clean up the mess
It's always worth it though
Here's to tonight.
Whatever happens I love Harmonix and how far we've come.
♡

+==edit==+
16.01pm

So the (ok I have to pause to announce that bert is a peasant May and him are singing Part of your world)
Ok so I have something weighing on me now and I didn't want to blog about it yet until I get confirmation but then again this is the place I do self-reflection and it's how I make my best judgements.

I'm more upset that I won't be the only one affected by this.
Ok i'm just going to spill it.
The competition i'm in was rigged last year, and we entered again in hopes it doesn't repeat but... we think it might be the same old.
And this is not an entirely baseless accusation
So now i'm debating between two line of thoughts
1) Continue as if I know nothing and still be in it to win it
2) Don't bother too much and stop bending over backwards catering to their requests.
I mean i'm definitely not planning to underperform, the audience is innocent and they don't deserve half of us.
More importantly, we respect and love our craft enough to do our usual (excellent, btw)
We are planning to do our best
I know my members will be okay once they know the truth (if it happens) but it doesn't discount that the hard work everyone has put into this competition is futile.
It's not just my group, the 9 other contestants are working so hard and their craft is 100%
If it really happens, rest assured I won't keep quiet.
Someone has to answer to all my fellow performers.

But who knows, this concern might be invalid anyway.
(Best case scenario of course)
I'd willingly take a loss-
If the winner deserves the win.

Good job (03.54am)

I frogot to blog
Spent a good 9 hours in school rehearsing and now random sleepover just cause
Have to be back in school in 6 hours but at least we don't have to wake up super early to travel huhu
Here's to a great day ahead!

+==edit==+
05.28am

I love how I just texted mummy to say goodnight and she's like "Good morning" just starting her day
And we're in the same country hahahahaha
Impromptu sleepover and jing yong's home is so zen I told myself "This is so zen if you still dont sleep idk what to say" and here I am
At least sleep calculator agrees that I should sleep around this time to wake up at 8.48am so I shall try fulfilling that criteria
Buenas noches!

+==edit==+
20.14pm

Currently backstage while everyone is on stage doing curtain call
I haven't finished my breakfast omg jellybird I shall finish it

So it has been a bit more than a year since last Centerstage, when Evokals were sharing this dressing room and styling each other and jamming to TOP Medley and Because of you.
Too much has changed but i'm thankful we ever happened.
Can't help but feel nostalgic, with a heavy heart nonetheless looking at the empty space once filled with my very first acafam
I still have vlogs from that day- of our nonsense, our vainness, our actual work of talents and our randomest moments
No idea why it is this easy to talk about missing this part of my life, but fact is it has and will continue having an impact on my life.
The memories we made, every space, song and words we touched are etched in me always.
And I know it's the exact same for every single one of them.
I should go on stage and hope they release us soon
Ok no, I don't leave my life in the hands of others
Ok see they release already yeahhhkbye

Choices maketh man (01.56am)

What a day
I love rehearsals but right now i'm doing anything but rehearsing
Thankfully centerstage rehearsals with LF are making up for it
Here's to growth together

Contemplating skipping class later again cause I can't even deal
Eh.
If I have rehearsal i'll go for class
If not then meh

+==edit==+
20.10pm

I feel like the way I recuperate during hibernation counterbalances my daily lack of self care (it's not that dramatic but some sweet humans are constantly worried about my ways hahahaha)
Hustling the next few days even though I constantly forget I have a competition this Sunday
Anyway, all will go well

Also I started season 3
I already know who I hate
Huhu

Oh my (00.27am)

Today didn't turn out as (not) planned but I had a lovely day anyway
Just finished season 2 of GG im happy hahahaha

+==edit==+
04.48am

Sometimes being unavailable online is great, sometimes being very active is great
Also cue mama asking me to sleep tonight cause we have errands to run in the morning (in 4 hours bleh)
But it ok I can sleep before rehearsal hehehehe OH WAIT NO OMG
I will be missing half of rehearsals cause of a meeting omg what mate I am crying tears of fishcake
I will make things happen im angry

+==edit==+
15.11pm

I mean, things run its course
I had a MORNING wuhuhu this is a new kind of laugh that says I cant believe it but I do
Went out to Geylang which i've grown to enjoy over the years (maybe still not the wet market more so because mama always wants to go TOO EARLY IN THE MORNING LIKE 2 HOURS AFTER MY BEDTIME)
Had breakfast and bought my contact lens before fetching chiqa from school
Was supposed to be a surprise but she spotted us from afar lol
Also I should be getting ready now
I thought I had more time to lepak but eh
I have to comment on like 17 (idk how many I hope it's not this many omg) people's prose and I have no interest but they have to do the same for me so eugh why the prof so frog
Oh this is by tonight
Like I have time psht (ok I do I just dont want to huhuhu)
Kkay I gonna go get ready and see where life takes us
Life's what we make it so let's make it rock
(No I did not quote hannah montana)

Rest well to boost well (03.19am)

Had a productiveish day idk but it was with somemonix so huhu ♡
A gig in 9 hours and then class
Here's to a grand day ahead, insyaallah!

+==edit==+
13.23pm

Wow, first time i'm too late to rush for a performance
But things happen for a reason i'll go with the universe's flow insyaallah

Yay (01.40am)

Had a productive and enjoyable day!
I feel my stomach empty but I really don't feel like eating once I see food I feel so full
Maybe I should just look at food photos heheh good lifestyle
Finally used our own full equipments for the first time today!
Finishedish choreography and I feel quite ready for Sunday's competition
Like of course over the next few days we could refine things but if we were sent to the competition tomorrow I wouldn't be panicking
Also it's been a year since the last centerstage- Evokal's first and last big stage together.
Usually I hate using the word Last cause there's always a next time
But eh.
I hope they're all doing well ♡ (wow I put a spade emoticon instead accidentally hahaha)

+==edit==+
08.22am

Had a quality enough sleep to have vivid fun dreams again hahah
Was distrupted twice though excuse fishballs
First was at like 6am when mama was trying to wake chiqa up and they were both being dramatic
Then now I woke up to the power outage cause they're like doing rewiring works in the block
OH MY I WAS Gonna say I forgot what I was dreaming about but I remember the latest one
I went to meet the retired Undertaker and as we were talking another (very not retired, very ministry-scary and very aggressive) one appeared and started chasing us- I swear my nightmares are all wrestlers hahaha- that I had to turn to a small black particle like dust to hide inside a cupboard to avoid being found omg what a concept hahaha
But yes such a waste I can't remember fully both the dreams but they were both adventurous
I'll take a nap before proceeding with the day
Recess week is done and dusted so back to school it is pfft

People should learn from me sometimes (00.34am)

My cavemen ancestors would've been proud of my subconcious biphasic sleep
If only it's 3-4 hours each instead of 1
Woke up to mama suspiciously snacking beside me hahahah
Ok things to say
Ok nope I can't say it yet not secret just cannot cohesate (for the uninitiated this is the verb for cohesive hahahha no it's not but it should be) my mind
Let me sort my thoughts out first not consciously of course

Also I love how when I tell people my major is Philosophy I get one of two reactions
1) Screams.
Literally just screams of "WOW" "WHAT" "OMG" "SERIOUSLY"
2) Nods but confused
"So you learn about the brain?"
Either way both will be followed with "What is Philosophy" and "What will you be working as" and on fun occasions we both namedrop Confucius and Socrates the senpais to show mutual understanding
Don't forget the "Is the chair a chair" question idek
Lol same
Sometimes when I don't feel like explaining (quite rare but there are times) i'll just say i'm from Psychology cause that's what people think Philosophy is anyway hahahah (it's not)
Why did I come to this ah
Oh the bunch of kids I met yesterday (hahah kids they're youths) had to find this out earlier today
Bummer our working relations lasted a few hours but it was a pleasure working with street and book smart students
They were definitely robbed as I felt another team was too
But eh, I didn't expect less
Ok again I should not talk about this before rationalizing my thoughts
Which is ironic cause I blog to rationalize and sort my thoughts out
Hahahaha k bye

+==edit==+
03.53am

Sometimes resistance is futile, and it hurts more people than it would initially have
Let peace take its course

We are on different wavelengths (02.20am)

Boy am I gonna miss this lack of sleep season when I get to my normal human phase
Sounds dodgy forget it
Apparently I am well rested from earlier
I just don't want to be victim of boredom during the debate sessions later
Also I already miss hmx I met them 2 days in a row but still hahaha
Ok bye

+==edit==+
20.39pm

I fell after what felt like forever today
So loser omg it wasn't even clumsy tripping idk what it was but needless to say my hurt-free being has been scarred on this fateful day
Not just my body but my heart too hahahah ok jk drama
I just... have things to say
But eh i'm winding down with my random kfc with maggi cravings (apparently the last person that was home had the exact same craving too??? i saw kfc and maggi in the kitchen wtheck siblings telepathy is crazy)
And now i'm chilling home alone with an uncomfortable body
Long day of rehearsals tomorrow
Here's to productivity!

Can I just (00.00am)

I forgot abdomen muscles existed until hmx's workout yesterday homagah
The last time I felt this pain felt so long ago
At least I know the workout was real lol

+==edit==+
00.51am

Easy to pray for the wrong ones to be distanced away from us, but it doesn't make it any more easier when you feel distant
When your heart and rationality both tugs on the same rope and both sides are on the losing end, only causing more fraying and pain
I don't think we don't know how and when to let go
I think we just don't want to
Lol frogs

+==edit==+
02.01am

A culture I can't relate to: facetiming or any forms of videocalling
Unless it's for like hi bye look at this view
Or unless it's with baby chiqa hehehe cause she cute

+==edit==+
03.55am

Was gonna complain about how awake yet tired I am but decided to watch an episode instead
The next one seems like too much drama so im taking a break
Should wake up earlyish to do some research (again, will update what again later cause I still dk if im still into this or if my feelings and thought process had changed over the past year- who knows)

+==edit==+
11.04am

Can't remember what it was, but I had a semblance of what I would call a nightmare hahaha
I think my brain was too tired it ignored its own content
I was awake most of the time like (wow im surprised I cant remember but im also glad like I am not trying to consciously recall cause for what)
I know the content wasn't bad it was just the side feelings (whatever this means)

+==edit==+
19.33pm

Had a break from my usual life to visit my alter lowkey persona
So lame but refreshing
I forgot how much brainpower and passion was needed to make things easy, great and not draggy
Also travelling home at peak hour on a friday night is a very hashtag cant relate situation cause I cant relaTE
But also it drives me to taking random buses and then figuring out how to go home from wherever I am
K bye im in a bus

+==edit==+
22.33pm

So upsetting hahahah I went to sleep ok but why am I awake again!!!
Also now i'm awake my brain is telling me it is tired and wants rest
Stay in yo lane bros

Truth is sad but changeable (02.32am)

You truly accept the love you think you deserve
And it's horrendous how lowly some people place themselves
BRUHS- yall deserving and is capable of more love than you let yourself receive
Disguspink ♡

Intense but personally fun day to me, no idea what the rest feels
It's our first full day rehearsal so probably tired idk I love long days of rehearsals
Another day tomorrow but minus the extra 4-5 hours hahah
K I shall rest
Gotta be somewhere by 10am (thankfully that somewhere is 10 mins away from home)
And I have an assignment due at 1pm
Again with this bullcrap
1PM.
I kick your pet snail (jk no animal abuse here) (hahaha what an image though)
K hehehe one GG episode then sleep?
Idk
Yesterday's sleep (if you call that sleeping) was bleah I was sleeping for 20 mins the rest of the hour I was convincing myself I was asleep but nohahaha
K bye goodnightmorning

+==edit==+
09.12am

Woke up at like 6.41am then 8.50am
But didnt hear my alarms
What is this discrimination, sense of hearing
Gotta be somewhere in 45 mins
I should get ready but eh what is should

+==edit==+
22.00pm

Settled down after a long day
Didn't plan on anything this weekend but somehow got my schedule packed again
But eh maybe this hustling will help get my sleeping schedule more aligned to humans
At least for the week ahead
Fat hope yes
I love harmonix they are so loser
Just now they grabbed like 4 more chairs than the number of humans it's like an open invite hahah
Then we hang out so long then we ask "what are we doing here"
K la I shall go do some research
About.... heheh will update soon

ps i didnt go for the 1 gg episode last night lol somehow managed to not

+==edit==+
23.33pm

I hope i've never made anyone feel pathetic or dumb (unless they deserve it) but like it's easy to feel like you're just an existing floating being but seeing how other humans affect you- strangers or friends, it's more unlikely (read: ridiculously impossible) for you to not have an effect on others
Plenty of people makes me feel things and 100% of them have no idea they cause these emotions
So yes if I do I apologize pls stop thinking about me or my actions lol im just a poor boy blablablabla

Why not (00.11am)

Actually gonna try to sleep tonight
Ideally I wake up too early and then unable to go back to sleep
That's better than falling asleep at 10am and napping till noon lol
K bye

+==edit==+
03.17am

It's not self sabotaging right whatever im doing huhuhu
Meeting jing yong hopefully in 7 hours (we tend to be too on time)
And then rehearsal in 9 hours
Here's to a productive session ahead hehehe

+==edit==+
04.18am

Kkkkk sleep by 4.30 pls self before you embark a new activity and realise it's 9am cmon bro

+==edit==+
04.44am

Bro luckily I checked my alarm I set going out at 9.50am when i'm supposed to reach boon lay at 10am lol
Also this means my alarm will ring in 2 hours
I think i'll hydrate myself, plug in my phone and force myself to dream about zac efron
Sounds like a plan

Lose the need (22.38pm)

It's weird that we all have the abilities to constantly refresh and leave what we don't like and pursue what we like but we often don't in fear of losing what's comfortable
Your loss bros

Helping chiqa with her math homework and I feel terrible math is so disguspink no child deserves this
Like what valid reason do you give to a child that they have to memorize the timetable
Answer is NO there are no valid reasons wtheck
I stopped myself from saying "Because you have to!!!" because it sounds freaky
K bye 

+==edit==+
23.37pm

To the people who says the opposite of love is indifference,
Go and self reflect
Losers
Math brings me so much pain but it also has no power over my life omg i hate it too much hahahahahah eww

Bro cmon (03.57am)

Dk why I expected myself to sleep after 2 days of 2 houred naps
I got sick for like 2 hours today HAHA what  weird experience I was like "I refuse to feel this way" and then I felt better
Recess week is here aka the busiest week of the semester hahah k drama

+==edit==+
16.40pm

Probably for once, recess week truly is a break.
I have today and tomorrow to hibernate both to redeem for the past few months of sleep schedule and also to prepare for next week I literally have an event everyday I love it
I shall spend time learning new songs for no reason and watching gossip girls lol

+==edit==+
18.38pm

I cannot, it's hard to be excited about WWE coming back when I think of how cruel it is for them to not bring reyrey here
Something better happen in the process and somehow he ends up coming if not I will end relationships with 3 ducks in new zealand

+==edit==+
21.29pm

I just heard chiqa tell elephant "I think she's texting her NTU Harmonix"
HAHAHAHA wot

New year's resolution but weird (07.06am)

Second sunrise in a row with daya but via a not-the-point way cause we up all night instead of waking up early
Also, very surreal feels
Am in the cab home, will update after hibernation before rehearsalish

+==edit==+
16.30pm

Wew late for rehearsal
I woke up on time actually but ehh
K so after tokti yesterday im like now time for WWE and demi to come entertain me
And got rumours that WWE is returning this June
But freaking Raw I WANT REYREY TO COME I will be so heartbroken if he doesnt I will cry for 2 minutes
Ok before we move to this topic
I need to just... Siti nurhaliza
The video they played of her fans' messages for her sums up how we all feel about her
It was weird cause I feel like I was watching an old friend (litrally grew up with her) but also the first line she sang I already cried and the tears didnt stop
Ok I cannot express in words how precious the feeling is and how precious she is
So I shall not get motion sickness and blog in a vehicle hahahha k focus on rehearsal first

ps i have no idea why im wearing what im wearing it's so choreo unfriendly

Wew (08.35am)

The radio is playing tokti's song and im like IT TONIGHT
She'll be rocking the roof in 12 hours
Also I got home like an hour ago
Ok brb

+==edit==+
14.59pm

5 HOURS exactlyish TO SITI NURHALIZA'S CONCERT
I'm really being kind in sparing people from the countdown
Internally bubbling I feel like I need a power nap to recharge for tonight but also like too excited to sleep you know
I finally got tickets like 2 hours ago hah great boi
Also means ele and I will be at separate seats but means I can cry tears of joy and emotions alone siti is an intimate experience ok
AH I cannot it still feels surreal
Here's to tonight!

+==edit==+
19.58pm

Only for siti i'll queue happily cause she's worth it ♡
Bleuabwismdosbsisk time to screm and cry huhu

+==edit==+
20.56pm

Imma seated and ready like freddie but even readier
HERE'S TO AMAZING GRANDNESS
Hehehehehehee

Too weak- also Merry March (01.45am)

Maybe you could meet the right person at the wrong time,
And the comfort words "The right person never has a wrong time" just reflects our inability to accept the fact
Eh,
Soulmates don't always have to end up lovers nor friends
Consider yourselves the lucky ones if the people you resonate with from within are the people you get to spend your everydays with