Not bad at all (07.28am)

I can jive with my current sleep schedule even though it takes some time to get used to
Anyway Happy birthday Amazing Phil
Thank you for brightening up my life with your own sunshine, you always make me smile hahah
Stay grand and beautiful inside out ♡

Exciting day ahead!
Meeting some Harmonix humans at 9.30am, an afternoon (cool sounding honestly) class, performance with my Evokals and then Harmonix rehearsal
May it all go well and be productive heheh Insyaallah!
Have a splendid day ahead!

Btw yesterday's modern philosophy class bruh it began so rough everyone around me couldnt stay awake but after the 10 minutes break we were all more alive
We were discussing humes and his "Im not saying we dont have a self, im just saying we dont have the same self throughout time"
And that made wardah and I like scream "YES" internally
We always end up staying back after class to have an intense discussion and I love it hahah
Most of the issues touched on, ive blogged about before (like not defining yourself and the whole forgive and forget concept) which is so cool cause eyy we share some ideas (btw weird sentence structure haha)
Had soundcheck, dinner and then rehearsal with evokals I truly missed them
I wished we were still making music together, this kind of passion and bond is so hard to find but we found it in each other (ok at least for me)
Ok I shall lunge around before getting ready heheh

ps yesterday as i was walking around school i realise all my troubles the past week has been removed one by one, just bless

pps in my dreams i was having a not so nice day but i managed to turn it around too

//edit//
09.50am

The weather is so lovely!
Ok im late

//edit//
21.13pm

Currently in training aka I have nothing to do cause this song only has 5 parts and im partless so I shall create my own part :')
Today was a... unnecessarily (but I care enough) low day for my passionate heart

Stop asking perhaps (04.18am)

Consistently waking up every 2 hours hahaha this round I woke up and I could guess the time accurately
K should I be up for good now perhaps

Ok idk why I drank water (frio, importante) and then did dance warm ups hahaha attempts to wake up proper we'll see if it works
Woke up to the news that Dudley boys will be inducted into HOF.
It is still weird to see the wrestlers I grew up watching being inducted.
I feel extremely ancient like I could be Plato's republic

Anyway first class of the semester today!
Can't think of a better way to kickstart it than breakfast with the Lychee grangers.
Should I continue watching rumble now or shall I leave that to after class while waiting for the soundcheck to start hmm
Ok let me see if there are readings to do hahha wow may this be me every morning what a cool day

Yesterday went to city square for decathlon, toys r us and finally dinner and while at dinner, Something just like this played and coincidentally that's the (supposed) song evokals was rehearsing

Okay adios will be back definitely

ps still havent caught Raw 25!!!

pps im so happy to see the universe's reaction to rey's entrance because same (btw the reason noone had a clue was because the deal was only confirmed last week and only top officials from WWE knows about it) (thANKS now keep ALL your surprises that way like the good old days) 

//edit//

09.59am

Currently in an empty classroom waiting for the grangers.

Consider myself lucky because the room was locked but a prof wanted to enter to check something so he opened the door ahaha muchas gracias 

Anyway I just saw that this prof uploaded slides and ughh I don't enjoy classes with powerpoint just talk us through mate

But whatevs i'll have coffee and friends and blessings in the form of education let's make this rock

//edit//

16.11pm

Just got done watching the Universal championship match WTHECK KANE why you disappoint me like this what kind of machine loses after 1 F5 excuse you wake up 

//edit//
20.38pm

Just read rumours that Mark Henry will be inducted into the Hall of fame this year
Conflicted man im proud but why so fast D:
Currently having evokals training after soo long we finally have all of us present :')
Ok doing counting stars I missed it hahah

Women's royal rumble

Today is a monumental day and it's my (and many others I believe) dream come true
First of all Brie is in the rumble what the heck I felt like just a few months ago she gave birth to birdie and now she's back in the ring???
Superwoman!
It is beyond great to see old wrestlers coming back- beth pheonix, jacqueline, kelly-kelly, molly holly etc
But so far the most surprising, Vickie guerrero hahahahahahah
Pleasant surprise though she'll always be associated with the fondest memories about wrestling.
Okay I shall continue waiting for results cause I cant handle the anticipation
(imagine if i watched the men's one live I wouldve broke down and stopped functioning for 3 months minimum)

And of course trish stratus has to return!
So exciting

Shizz very interesting final 4- asuka, sasha and bella twins

Aaaand Asuka remains undefeated!
Ive been intrigued by her since she began and im happy to see her on top!
Here's to Wrestlemania
(at least one rumble went well hahahahah men yall disappointing)

Gross man reigns was the last man standing besides nakamura ew (at least cena was there gracing the top 4 I missed him)

Reyrey came back and I can't do this

Ok so I accidentally fell asleep at 7 and then I woke up to check wwe's instagram and saw freaking Lita returning for the women's first ever royal rumble (which is beyond epic btw, my childhood dream come true)
(first of all i cant believe im calm enough to write this detailedly)
(maybe it has yet to sink in, idk)
And then I thought "ok good men's one is not over" (which is a weird assumption lol)
Until I saw that shinsuke won (no comment about this, will have to watch the match)
And then...

Something made me freeze- I literally froze for 2 whole minutes and tears started pouring out and I cant I just cant I was so overwhelmed with emotions; disbelief, love, overjoy, just everything good.
REYREY WAS ENTRANT 27
Just typing that makes me emo again
I fell asleep liking his facebook wish to sheamus and I did not expect this at all (HOW DID I NOT EXPECT THIS BUT THANK YOU WWE THIS WAS A REAL SURPRISE)
Rey mysterio WAS IN RUMBLE 2018

(lowkey mad that he didnt win even though he drew 27 this is why I hate math and probabilities because IT DONT EXIST)

how dare he make me emo so early in the morning but also thank you for making me so happy
No idea where the future holds with him and the company, but thank you for coming back.
Please stay longer, or forever. (I will still be happy if he continues independent or lucha because there's where he shines the most)
Im truly overjoyed.
Welcome back, king 💜

Brand new day (00.43am)

Still can't get over how cool it is to have two of my maestros working together
Anyway I want to sleep soon so I can wake up and do some things before watching royal rumble live
It'd better be worth my morning (meaning, any member of the shield winning- no go)
(hahaha i still have something against them forgiveness is not easy ok when it comes to my childhood)
(jk dramatic)
Technically have a morning lecture tomorrow but since im not officially enrolled in the class yet i'd rather stay home and rumble
(Not like i'd have chosen to attend lecture rather than watch rumble hahahaha please)
(But it's literature I miss literature... bUT IT has exam oh crap I forgot about that..... I have not taken any exams for the past 3 semesters this is not cool)
Ok whatever.

(btw the last dance just now wow I gave my all and it was a lot hahaha it singlehandedly inspired me to sell more tickets cause bruh the lengths we go to)
(it felt good though like deserving of an applause hahaha just that one item for now)

ps we were 41 floors above!

//edit//

04.32am

Yeah so much for resting but rumble begins in 1.5 hours so I shall just stay up then :') 

//edit//

12.18pm

What an eventful morning and ive only been up for a few hours and I havent left home

This is why I love the WWE universe the emotional roller coaster gathered throughout my life.

I'll never get over rey's surprise entrance :')

Goodbye for 3 hours while I go watch rumble 

(Notable mention; the bar won tag team chanps again hahaha good job miluvs) 

//edit//

16.59pm

Just got done watching kickoff and up to the men's royal rumble and I need to take a break. The emotional toll it has on me man hahah ive never had so many tears and breathlessness watching a rumble match (ok I just cant remember the last time it has been this epic and dramatic)

Key points; reyrey was in the last 6! He did so well ♡ 

As annoyed as I am that reigns is the last man besides shinsuke, I was so happy he got 619ed TWICE HAHAHAH in yo face loserman

Ok the most emotional part I almost tossed my laptop away was when rey cena and orton faced against balor shinsuke and reigns I was so omg my heart I couldnt I still cant Im scruming internally still

Ok I shall take a short break (and get ready for school hahahaha shiz evokals training in 3 hours) before resuming royal rumble.

You've been epic, RR31, annoying but epic. Thank you. 

//edit//

19.19pm

I think I cried too much today and my brain is confused whether im happy or sad because now I feel dizzy hhahaha homagash either way sending chiqa (or joining her since im skipping training tonight) to city square and she's talking a lot and she suddenly exclaimed that she talks a lot when she's tired (wow high level of self-awareness even humans 5 times her age dont have it sometimes)

It has begun (14.55pm)

School will finalmente begin tomorrow for me, even though my timetable is yet to be confirmed.
Quite excited because like you witnessed for the past two sems, ive not submitted assignments and I forgot how satisfying it feels to turn a one liner question (or 1 paragraph for some philosophy mods hahah) into a 3000 word essay- it's amazing but I havent done that in a year
Also with the upcoming production, (ok im glad it's in feb) im prepping for an early distraction but im also preparing ways to get myself on track and focused.

Life is the best thing in the weirdest way, I can decide to cut my hair or get a face tattoo or knock on my neighbour's door or go for a run now- and it'll change, even if in the slightest.
Honestly humans, do what you want to do whenever you want to do it.
Ultimately your life is yours, own it.

No idea where this sudden burst of motivation came from but thanks universe, i'll put it to good use.

ps dance training in a hour but elephant is still sleeping what the actual zebra

pps also whoa i just realised i blogged about making time twice this month wow i should reassess my friendships hahah jk

//edit//

20.52pm

 Currently backstage in rehearsal, I have 2 more items before I can rest hahah

Guess what, I finally saw abang mok! After 2 rehearsals where he came when I was absent we finally met hahaha I missed him tons! 

First two item went bollocks (read: nincompoopic) but here's to a better round.

Kind of fainting cause this auditorium is too cold and I mean TOO cold it hurts humans, and I also forgot to warm up so my legs are dying hahah why am i harming myself like this 

My tickets better be sold out quick we put in a lot of effort there are literal blood and sweat involved (tb to 2 weeks ago when someone scratched me with his long nails while we were spinning around hahaha bruh) (no tears hopefully)

Ok idk why im dizzy must be a culmination of temperature dehydration and spinning too much I shall rest 

The irony (12.22pm)

I fell asleep before 2 last night I think, but I got a call at exactly 3am; it was along asking me to open the front door.
When I walked out though I realised everyone else was still awake so it was ironic that along called me because im usually the only one awake at that time but that night I was the only one sleeping hahahaha
Anyway yeah woke up pretty shagged but then chiqa asked me if we could play saboteur later, of course, im sure we'll come up with our own rules

Had a good day yesterday, performances went okay, like not the best but I felt good about it.
And then lunched while sharing ghost stories with jorene and sam hahah
Hung out the whole night at hive screaming and karaokeing, taking quizzes and then trying to sing a song in different keys hahaha that was epic honestly
Ok brb

//edit//
19.04pm

The times we really need a friend, are sometimes when we feel deceivingly lonely.
I say deceivingly because it's usually far from truth but I guess in that time we just can't seem to get hold on the people we thought would just be there, we begin wondering if anyone ever is available anytime. (i mean sometimes the effort thing is bull and unrealistic but in actuality it isnt too far off the truth- if one truly cared they would push anything and I mean anything away) :')
Which was why I felt extra loved when belvs appeared cause that afternoon I felt truly alone so like what a darling, you werent obliged to be here but you still came for me not even knowing why and what
(hais i just got interrupted with a call bearing lovely news, bless!)

On that note, im alone at home really dreading dance training because ive no idea how much theyve progressed having missed a couple of trainings
(I like how I prefer weekdays to weekends this past year hahahah)
Talking about dance it has been a year since i've joined ASB :')
It has opened a lot of cool opportunities and ive learnt a lot of fun choreos that I actually personally like
Here's to a productive weekend ahead
(today was basically hibernation)

//edit//
21.08pm

Wow I didnt post the latest edit hahah
Just got done making slime
Chiqa is currently editing my rejected slime cause it was too big so I chose a small portion I liked hahaha
Pretty fun until there was a point where it wouldnt leave my hand but then ms chiqa taught the right technique
So now im a creator of a purple glittery butter slime
Hahaha I cant
Will proceed to try and rest soon

Okay let's chill a bit (00.07am)

Finally settled down for the day
It was an interesting day; I was meant to be at school for a short training from 3-4pm but then ended up staying in school till 9 hahah, it was fun though!
Met an uncle who thought my necklace was a cross (it's an innocent girl in a dress with pigtails bruh) and then he proceeded to say how he didn't believe in a God.
Stood there for 5 minutes listening to his point of view and it was interesting.
It seems that his main issue was that religion seems to divide more than unite and bring peace, but the correlation to there-is-no-god is a bit non-existant (but perhaps he couldnt portray his full viewpoints in that short 5 minutes)
He also mentioned how humans are the ones placing spiritual meaning to mountains and caves and statues when they were just there in the first place.
It's always cool to know that the person beside you can have such vastly different thoughts and beliefs from you but you can still hold a decent conversation and learn from each other.
And also a malay auntie spoke english to me- I got mistaken for a filipino twice today why it's ok salamat

I have a performance later yay love performances
And this time round more members of Harmonix are performing so i'm excited for them and with them!
But please remind me I need to be in school really early like 9am early
(Im talking to myself ok)
K I should rest- wait no I need to remove this face mask and then choose a costume for tomorrow
(might have dance at night but no news as of now so im hoping there's no training cause I deserve a break after a crazy few days hahahah jk but really)

//edit//
03.16am

Why am I awake this is nòt the plan with an accent on not (hahaha this is meaningless it was a typo but i cant be bothered to edit)
But really

//edit//
06.10am

I have to make a smart decision- either get my power nap now and reach school at 10am or reach school at 9 and sleep there
Idek I dont think I can fall asleep but my brain (more like eyes) needs rest

//edit//
06.25am

Ah forget it im not in the mood to sleep
(got such thing)
Shall slowly get ready
It's Chiqa's first day of swimming lessons today hahah I remember how futile mine was cause HF knew how to swim but we declared beginner and ended up just playing around for the whole session
wow using the word HF after how many years :')
Hope the ghosts are all doing well and achieving their own success

I survived (02.11am)

The night did get better!
I felt high as soon as I saw Belvy and Steifan while I was walking to VP training heheh and then the high lasted through the night thank god
Got a ride from jorene's dad, bless them
And then got splashed by a bus hahaha luckily it wasnt a big puddle

More trainings upcoming, things are still creeping up at the back of my mind but honestly if I cant do anything about it i'll just have to reposition the priorities in my life.
(ok why so emo things can and will be settled)
Here's to a better day ahead!
Goodnight sweetdreams

//edit//
12.48pm

Im glad I woke up too early again because it meant I left time for nothingness which is so necessary especially seeing my agenda for the next few days (and weeks let's be honest)
So I am going to have lunch, get ready and then head to the bank before rolling to school for a short training session
Ok hopefully that works out hahahah k have a lovely day ahead, all of us!

right place, right time.
fate is never wrong,
but sometimes it requires nudging,
And cold hard faith

ps ew i cant believe i said bank what am i, an adult? no

//edit//
15.07pm

Ok la I cant expect the bad day yesterday to disappear just like that, it has to fade away somehow so let's hope whatever happened earlier today were the remnants of it.

//edit//

16.36pm

Guys, it's not getting any better.

I don't know what it is, but it's making me stop in my tracks. 

It's bothering and it's making me so consumed and occupied that I can't think of anything proper.

It was a joke as of yesterday but right now it feels so real, almost like a personal attack.

But I know better than to give in to this demon of self-pity and worry.

I know my steps trudging forward and I will take those steps, even if it means I can't walk.

Even if it means hitchhiking with another person's kindness.

Even if it's being dragged across the mud by the enemies.

I'll get through it, I always do.

Keep me in your safe hands Oh Allah.

//edit//

23.19pm

Im walking home with headphones on and no music playing cause I can see signs that things are getting better slowly and im happy about it

Bless!

Didnt manage to do some important things today but insyaallah by tomorrow i'll settle everything and then proceed to have a burden free weekend (ok I foresee 2 to remain but still)

K I should not play my phone while crossing the road bye

(I had to mention that after the previous edit, Belvy came to where I was just to share a hug and spend time with me and that made me feel so lovely, can't thank you enough belvico! ♡)

Gear running again (00.33am)

I have a crab ton of messages waiting to be replied to but im still on holiday mode hahah
Had a really pleasant day!
Finally watched The Greatest Showman with Eatgo, my heart broke seeing my second husband with another girl but at least it's Zendaya hahaha she's lovely so it's okay.
We loved it; honestly predictable storyline but an emotional roller coaster.
I felt like one of the circus acts.
The songs are great too, it really is an adult HSM cause cmon, 'I dont dance' scene in the bar, and then 'I gotta go my own way' with Rewrite the stars
Then had our usual 2 houred lunch hahaha before heading to the library- an unlikely activity when it comes to Eatgo but she borrowed 3 books!
Roamed around a bit more before I had to leave for training
We finished the new song!
Thankful for a very open minded group that trusts and are very adaptable (did I just write all of harmonix's values hahahahaha jk but really)
Gotta love my Evokals!

You know a good thing about having too many things to handle is the procrastination comes in a form of focusing on the present- that's something we never do enough of but is always a great option.
So as of tonight, i'll have no thoughts about tomorrow.
It'll come and then i'll handle it.
Right now, i'm resting.
I'm nobody but one human.
But tomorrow, we'll be champions.
Goodnight, sweetdreams!

//edit//
01.25am

NOOO I just realised RAW 25 was aired yesterday ok tomorrow morning first thing is have 3 hours of meditation (aka WWE)

//edit//
17.28pm

I wrote a long edit about how my day was going quite unpleasantly and that I will still rise above and then the whole post got discarded in a blink of an eye how apt :')
Murphy's law you can STOP since yesterday

//edit//
17.35pm

Hahaahahah it's just getting worse but ok breathe it will get better i'll make sure of it
It truly is human to focus on the negatives but im not human so it's inapplicable
Currently having to grabpool with 2 strangers cause the last shuttle bus was too full cries (there's always a blessing im sure of it)

//edit//
18.22pm

Currently in school, it's raining heavily and I didnt bring my ezlink card hahahahaha ok u really stop it now ok

Mornings like these (11.58am)

No idea what time I fell asleep but I woke up too early hahah
On my way to meet ms eatgo cause she just texted me this morning asking if I wanted to join her do things
Duh

Last day at Melaka was lovely, besides the super heavy bags we had to haul home hahah
We were the only ones in the bus but we were less chaotic than I expected I think cause we were sleeping most of the time
Settled all the photos and videos and then suppered- no idea what happened afterwards lol

Okay, here's to a relaxing and productive day with Evokals ahead!

ps so not ready to resume dance training por favor

Avoidance fail (03.01am)

Ayy just got done with my agenda for today- I feel lovely but probably sleepy soon (wow anticipating a sleepy)
(I produced a lot and I mean a lot of bubbles from half a bubble bar- what even I love it)
Anyway I accidentally opened whatsapped ughhhh cries
Now I have a ton of messages to sieve through and continue ignoring
Hahaha jk I cant ignore texts man
Ok I want to sleep before 3.30am
Gotta be up early for breakfast, check out and finally travel back home.
(Booooo)

ps look at this bath bomb!!! there are 2 roses inside hahah cute

Excitable (23.07pm)

Pheww another long, fun day!
Just landed in bed after helping Chiqa prep her bubble bath- she's still prepping her new toys to bring in
2 bath bombs and 1 bubble bar for her- ele and I following suit cause anga and mama bought extra loll yall be wasters
Today was mostly sightseeing, phototaking and shopping, and finally watched Insidious 4! (kinda a family tradition hahah)
It's better than I remembered!
And it's weird cause I know I fell asleep like thrice when I first watched it, and those micronaps felt like 2 minutes but just now I realised the scenes I missed were quite long (and important in my quest to understand Elise)
I was prepping myself for the boogeyman jumpscare but it still hit me loser man

You know I love packing for a trip but packing from a trip is not as fun
Already have the night ahead planned- pack, probably play saboteur during supper, then relax
Sucks to leave this place so early, it has been jam packed and really fun!
Thank you Melaka, here's to a safe journey ahead!

ps i was at the place where kb94 shot his first ever music video lowkey proud

Almost wouldn't make it (21.20pm)

Just got back to the hotel after a tiring day hahah but we're not done, we have dinner plans for later
The trip has been amazing thus far, we've done a lot!
Bummed that the Syams cant join us
Anyway yes yesterday after I changed my sim card my phone wouldnt turn on!
Tried a few times within the day and didnt work and I realise the only thing I 'can't' do without is vlogging and blogging
I vlogged using mama's phone so no problem but the blogging part was what motivated me to try again after I woke up
(i was lowkey ready to give up phones and live phoneless again)

Yesterday we did mostly touristy things like ride a trishaw, visit a famosa fort and like the redhouses, go on the river cruise and walked (almost the full length of) jonker street night market (it was crazy long please I cant)
Spent the whole of today at Alor gajah area for A famosa waterpark (we deadass paid 56RM to not ride the rides- but the Wahaha waves made it worth it hahahah that was crazy) and then spent hours at the outlet mall (which for a non-shopper, was unnecessary to me hahah still very fun though)
We were waiting for our cab when elephant said "Eh theyre having a photoshoot?"
And I was like "Who is they"
"Daya all"
"Which Daya"
Hahahah and then she showed me the photo posted of Harmonix's instastory- totally forgot that was a thing
I am a full fledged not-any-functioning-member-of-the-society (where my only role is daughter sister and citizen of the world)
Talking about world, today mama, ele and I wore matching wonderwoman shirts which we bought yesterday hahaha
And chiqa wore darth vader
Ok la I want to rest, it is freezing
Adeu!

ps the weather today was beautiful, here's to another gorgeous day!

Did I ever mention (00.42am)

That I looove meeting my cousins regardless of what we do hahahah
Met Cena for karaoke which I totally called to book while I was there
Had loads of fun screaming to demi songs, singing lyrics backwards and doing choreos hahaha we are the best honestly
Walked to Suntec for dessert and to find trouble
It felt short as always, meet up again soon with the rest ♡

Leaving SG in a few hours time for the long awaited family holiday but everyone is still up for supper and packing hahah
Im all done (but supper sounds fantastic right now......)
(Ok after this)
May our journey be smooth and safe, Insyaallah!
Here's to a weekend of ignoring texts
Sorry not sorry

//edit//

07.06am

Before I slept I complacently didnt think of setting alarm but then I felt like I should- good (actually great) call cause I was the only one awake at 6 lol guise 

Anyway my finger obtained a sudden cut from nowhere im trying to ignore it because the cure to pain is... (I forgot, happiness or distraction? Or none of these?) Something 

Hah may we all have a splendid day ahead! 

ps new dnpgames video out i didnt realise how much i missed them 

Fruitful day (02.29am)

Had a pretty content day!
After I settled half of my agenda, I realised I had 4 hours to spare
Luckilyyy Fas was available for lunch heheh so we ate and hung out until her lecture at 4.30 which I crashed along
Quite interesting but the crowd was new to me
Im just a philosopher who has spent her uni life in classrooms of 30
So to have like a hundred humans was eww
We left halfway though cause CCA hahah
Harmonix went well, it was Earl's birthday (bless him!) and we also celebrated the birthdays of those humans born between november-january!
We then did sectionals for Viva la vida and then got introduced to our new groups
Really weird to not sing with Evokals and to see them but not be with them
</3
It feels like those days where we split to help the junior groups except now it's permanentish D:
Ok no I dont want to talk about it my talented fam will always be there for me to jam with
I enjoy my new group, it's so easy to come together with a group of humans who knows what they're doing and are able to have fun with it- looking forward to us this upcoming semester! (Idk why I bolded 'us' but I cant unbold it hahahah)
Oh and Yol entered the training room before she left school hahaha loser
Ended up having a comm meeting and we only left school at like 12.10 :')
Meeting them again in a few hours time because we crazy to do new arrangements (2 to be exact) for a performance next week (which i'll be missing 4 days worth of potential training for hahah)
Ok I should rest ehehe buenas noches, sweetdreams

I just hope we keep the essence as we strive to grow.
In change, we have sacrifices, but some sacrifices are not worth the success.

//edit//
14.47pm

Currently at school for VP training hahah did half hour of it
Now im deciding whether to eat here or outside when I meet Cena
Hais ok la decide later

What is selflessness (02.27am)

Just got done watching a (as I guessed, very cliche but idk why I still watched it) malaysian movie hahah
I mean ok on one hand it's really unfair to call something cliche and predictable because how else will the story build if it's not at the very least foreshadowey and loopholey
But I still get very annoyed at storylines which- ok mate youve been given such a high budget, the least you could do is tighten the storyline
And I now realise what Abg mok meant when he said my acting is sometimes "too real" that it doesnt work to my advantage- because I saw it in one of the characters when she was trying to break a news without revealing too much.
(lol it is extremely weird to talk about myself acting hahahah I mean I love it, it's one of my favourite things to do but I really dont do enough of it)

See now im making myself think hahaha
Oh the title relates to the movie cause I was thinking, sometimes people sacrifice for the ones we love without putting ourselves in their shoes and ultimately hurting both of us more than it helps them.
(according to utilitarians that sacrifice was probably immoral)
So yeah really sometimes what we deem as selflessness is not what we hope it is.
Idk k bye

//edit//
05.24am

Really hope to strike 3-5 items out of my to-do list today :')
Most of which are of great importance.
Probably an all nighter is not the best way to go but since we're here let's go all the way
(Kidding i'll probs grab my 2 hour wonder)

//edit//
15.11pm

Walking to koufu to meet fasee and I had to take a blog break cause the weather is splendid I love it!

Worth it, though (17.59pm)

Spent half of the day editing vlogs and im only on the first day hahais it takes so much but it's fun and satisfying so there's that
K 5 seconds break over

//edit//

19.24pm

I had really weird dreams last night hahah but really entertaining, just cool how people i've never thought about in a long time just made cameos in my brain

Also,
Time really is relative.
I know (as of now) when you say you're busy you really just mean you choose not to make time for us
Not complaining though, the time you are willing to spend speaks a lot, and i'm not at loss.

Excited for Friday!

Yay! (16.53pm)

Just left home to head to school and I realise the sun is out!
The wind is still chilly but I can see blue skies and sun rays hahah yay
Ok brb

//edit//
16.57pm

Just went to the minimart to get my spearmint and it is empty???
It's not usually the most popular flavour haiss go away consumers

01.56am

I feel like I blogged on this exact time a few times
Fell asleep for 15 mins before I woke myself up hahah which was good because I had missed calls and messages from mama (phone was silent whatt) asking if I wanted food for supper
K I shall sleep for another 15 mins while waiting (or continue watching rachel ballinger rant about stuff)

//edit//
04.00am

Consider breakfast done?
Need to get back to sleep D:
Training in 10 hours

//edit//
13.45pm

Very late as usual because of the elephant omg she is so slow
A snail would win a marathon against her

//edit//
18.53pm

Currently having a mass dinner break before the full run starts aiseh the musicians are coming
Danced properly after a long time today and wow did it take a lot hahah
Memorized my choreos so it should be good
Just one more to learn before I can stop thinking about the steps and more of the other pressure (QUICKCHANGE IS EVERYONE'S ENEMY) but yeah we'll make this work!
Missing acappella a lot hahahais
Just 2 more days before training resumes

//edit//
22.34pm

Finally done! One of many hahah
Anyway because there were so many people, the (actually not but still) inevitable happened; someone took my sandals
I suspect it because I saw a pair that looked like mine at a glance but when I looked at it for 4 seconds I knew it wasnt mine
And then I realised I couldn't find mine
So the human probably mistook mine for hers hahahais
Ok bus is here
Take care of my sandals por favor i'll take care of yours too

Sometimes the heart doesn't cooperate (01.12am)

Let me just say Orton's new look is bomb his hair suits him
No idea what i'll be up to later

//edit//
05.10am

Cold enough for two pants again hahah but when I put on a jacket it was warm
've been up writing stories for my own entertainment
Rain please go away and come again another day (if you speak españyol, Por favor no me gusta)

//edit//
12.10pm

Left home early today for breakfast with mi madre
Today shall remain planless, perhaps i'll finally get around to editing the vlog footages for the past 6-8 months of my life hahah (I hate math la ok)
Ooh ok sounds exciting but honestly i'll always end up back to consciousness only at 4am and be like "How long have I been here" and then shrug it off and continue anyway
Ok she's back we shall leave this place
(She actually wanted me to follow her to geylang to watch a singing competition no thanks the crowd man)

//edit//
21.49pm

Took a nap in the noon and then woke up to edit my KL vlog before joining elephant in watching HSM! (Always a good time for HSM honestly)
And then left home again to meet papa at bugis hahah followed by a lovely walk in the rain to SMU
When I reached home, elephant (who was obviously in a HSM marathon) was halfway through HSM 2 so I joined duh
But now she's watching HSM 3 sorry I cant I will cry so prevention is better than cure
Surprised myself by leaving home twice today hahaha with a powernap in between- what is this lifestyle, not complaining though
Dance for 8 hours tomorrow D;
Hopefully it'd be productive since the live music is coming in
I will survive

School starts in 2 days boo but yay

Nah mate (02.07am)

Just put on my second layer of clothing
I cant with cold weather man hahah but my dream of visiting antartica still stands strong
It's weird cause when we were climbing mount patirana the temperature was real low and the winds were really strong (although idk the exact measurements) but surprisingly as everyone else were busy being bundled up, I kept to my two layers of shirt and pants- the jacket and gloves I brought along remained untouched.
Was it lowkey subconsciously testing my own will hahaha idk but comparing me then to now wow girl get your game on
(Maybe the view was distracting me from everything because the view there was...... Masyaallah I cant even describe it in words other than beautiful)

But I lost to Ijen hahah (I mean again noone recorded the temperature but I read prior that it could go down to 14°) it took like 2 seconds for my body to realise the difference in temperature from inside the van to when we stepped right outside.
At first I was like "Oh this aint that bad" and quickly "oh wait. OH. OH OK THIS IS BAD"
Still survived with one jacket and one pair of gloves though it was tempting to layer up more (it was really weird but lovely hiking without sweating cause it was too cold hahahah even descending, while the sun was beautifully showing off, the cool was still cold (?))
I remember naddy not wearing gloves and I kept asking how she was surviving.
Even the doughnuts we were given before the hike FROZE due to the speed at which I was eating it (not fast)
The icing literally became ICEing hahahaha just with me holding it in my hands
But naddy??? NoOooo she hiked the whole journey gloveless u walking oven

Ok I miss bondo I know I always speak fondly of the place it's because i'm fond of that place
Would love to climb Ijen again- this time to see the blue fire for real!
And of course to visit Al-Ishlah and see my kindergarden babies be primary school kids hahahais :')

//edit//
11.54am

I guess a good thing about this weather (besides saving electricity) is it makes me not want to go out and leave the comforts of my home.
And imagine if we wore layers and suddenly the cold decides to stop hahahah muy rude
But the cold also makes us hungry faster which is not cool (hAh unintended pun)
I cant tell if it makes me more or less sleepy because I feel like my sleep schedule is consistent hahah

Ok I might be going out in the afternoon, time to find the heattech innerwear ive abandoned for the past 6 months hahah (jk not that dramatic)
Have a lovely day!

//edit//
19.50pm

Currently enjoying a cup of caramel macchiato at harbourfront
Lovely being outside!
Had brunch I think ive not been eating right the past few days cause hibernation mode ahaha but ya it was a good meal
Visited krispy kreme (my bff) and then lush where we bought our bath bombs and bubble bars, and I almost bought a lip scrub but decided against it but they gave us 2 free ones in the end so, bless!
Finally got to visit lovisa and its sale so got a few items I needed (yeah right needed psht)
I realise im probably the least likely to spend in my family (besides daddy but his ciggs are daily spending so booo minus 100 points)
I remember my grab lorry girls (especially sha) being like "HOW DO U NOT SPEND" girl how can I, I have everything I need
(Grabbing used to be my kryptonite but I decided I should stop and I did heheheh good job)
All praises to Allah for being the supplicant, for all the blessings He has bestowed upon us.
Honestly blessed for every reason possible.
Yayyyy I feel like karaokeing lets go

No thanks! (14.47pm)

Scrolled through instagram and saw a primary school classmate posting "Thanks for making my 22nd memorable"
I was shaken to the core 22nd!!!!!??
No thanks
Old people go away (by old I mean people who are born in 1996 cause i cant relate)

Anyway good thing about the cold weather is that I dont have to switch on the fan hahah not even on low speed cause it's already freezing (fake fact: freezing is 0°)
Very lazy day today I feel like I need to watch the greatest showman and jumanji soon

Sometimes you just gotta go on a communication detox and that's what im doing now

And I feel like we need to realign our intentions once a while to ensure that we do not lose focus on the things that matter.

ps found this from HONY on Facebook, it's lovely- give life room to be 

//edit//

18.51pm

Actually freezing this is why im appreciative of living on the equator I love the sunshine

Happy birthday to my favourite singer Dato Siti, she just revealed that she's pregnant with a baby girl :') May she be healthy and may she get all the good traits from you and have your voice be heard throughout generations to come ♡ (ok no pressure im just saying) (it must be annoying being expected to live up to a legend) (sorry future child) (hahahahahaa jk but not kidding)

AND it is the 25th year of RAW- im happy to have been through it all (ok la negative 3 years 7 months but still it counts since I have watched the episodes in those lost years) Thank you for being a home I can always fall back on! ♡ Here's to wiser decisions and more success! 

//edit//

19.20pm

Tokti is in SG wtheck she's having dinner what are you doing here 

Sometimes we just cant (06.18am)

Up to do Chiqa's homework with her hahah days of rushing homeworks- I stopped doing it early (not stopped rushing homeworks, stopped doing those hahahah)
Hahaha ok we were done but she just entered the room and told her pencil box "You come here you need to come to school"
May she and everyone have a lovely day of education

School resumes next week for me and it's the most unprepared i've been cause the holidays have been so occupying (but very fun honestly very fulfilling)

I love mornings, and I love the possibility of a non-planned day so like you can literally- OH WAIT I have dance tonight hahahaha ok so much for a no plan day
Anyway I feel like going is a necessary option since i'll be missing another combined rehearsal 2 weeks from now
Also I got to get comfortable with the choreographies and muscle-memorize them so I get one load off my mind during the showday (I heard there'll be quickchanges- something I love to watch but not do hahah)
K brb I feel like having breakfast idk

ps love collecting angel-mortal letters I feel like Santa hahah

//edit//

13.22pm

Boo what a gloomy weather I simultaneously love and hope the rain goes away hahah 

I cant believe I missed the escape room yesterday; signed up with some hmx humans but I misread the time aiseh not fated but it was real cool from what i've heard

Since I was out anyways I met belvico rico and keichico for lunch and icecream (!!!) Ended up at SMU where we ended up talking till 11.30pm what even- time flies when you're engrossed and having fun hahah

Because I love Hmx a lot I cant wait for school to start so I can see them every week again hehehaha ♡ 

Uh oh (03.19am)

How did this even happen hahahah why am I up
Slept around 9pm a bit after dinner I didnt even finish my mcspicy bruh
I remember elephant and chiqa trying to ask me to wake up to see my angel-mortal gift from ASB
Recall them saying that my angel won best gift wrapping but I also remember being so exhausted that listening to them was tiring so I was like Can yall go out so annoying
Gurls yo sista needs to hibernate a bit ok

05.36am

Currently playing Secret Hitler I mean when are we never
But it's equally hilarious and sad when someone tries to defend themselves cause no dont waste your time
Half of us are still awake dk doing what hahah
The rest are sleeping at different positions
Camp is coming to an end in a few hours :(
It was definitely too short hais

//edit//
20.34pm

I hope i'll fall asleep 3-4 hours from now so as to realign hahah
Camp was so fun honestly, i've been looking forward to it since the idea birthed last year
It's so weird that there are thirty of us up and running-
Cant ask for a better co-planner than justine! ♡
Watched Insidious 4 after lunch and breaking camp, I. AM. SEMI-HAPPY
Because Elise is bosswoman but I had so many questions about the key monster
Anyway the linkback to Insidious 1 and Dalton had a jumpscare that apparently only worked on me cause I accidentally said "Oh my boogeyman" out loud
Hahaha
Commences an idk how long journey back home because I was sleeping and somehow woke up at the traffic light before my stop to change bus- thankfully my next bus came a minute after and there I also slept and woke up a stop before mine hahahais humans reflexes are amazing

Lowkey still in denial that camp happened and is over wtheck I can still see us walking through the door and seeing the pool infront of us
Here's to a grand semester ahead, I love this club a lot and I wish us success and love ♡

This time really (00.39am)

Halooo I had a good day heheh alhamdulillah
Although I have a camp in 8 hours time and im not packed
It ok I have the whole night

Began the morning with Harmonix main comm meeting/bonding (mostly meeting but the bonding comes naturally)
Aka I ate pizza and bbq chicken and garlic bread twice today cause for papa's birthday at night we also had pizza :')
Different brands la so ok hahah
Ran to sentosa (fakeee) to have a picnic with the fams to celebrate papa's advanced birthday
Did a lot of weird stuff like vandalizing each others' faces over blackjack, trying to cycle backwards, (which I totally did btw), playing with the toilet splash game, and laughing over shammy lopenzo's weirdness hahah
Ok also pranked papa with fake presents
(Wait why are 4 people suddenly messaging me k I shall go check)

//edit//
03.52am

I thought i'd slept early and then wake up early to prep everything but I just finished preparing and now is usually the time I internally debate if I should get my power nap
Probably will need it for today so I will try- only if I fall asleep by 4.30 por favor

//edit//
11.08am

Currently at Harmonix camp heheh a bit not awake internally but I love collecting the secret letters?? I feel like Santa claus

I tried (01.20am)

I actually tried to go to sleep hahaha to no avail shouldve known pshh who am I
Ironically trying makes me tired but not tired enough
Weird but ok I accept myself actually appreciate my nocturnality I should be a security guard

Phew (02.13am)

Feels like some more weight lifted off me!
Finally finished learning 4/5 choreos, just need to memorize and technicalise them which is another matter altogether at least im progressing after a month hahaha
Meeting yol in a few hours for a breakfast date at geylang, forever being aunties
Camp planning is going steady, insyaallah it'll go smoothly!
Main aim is to get everyone to love each other ceh forcing hahaha
Today I have to finish the last minute stuff cause my saturday is totally gone; from bahas meeting in the morning to main comm meeting the whole afternoon and then papa's birthday celebration at night
I dont think i'll even be able to go for the first one :')
We'll see
Ok I need to try and rest heheh buenas noches, sweetdreams!

ps lowkey sad to miss asb's gathering this sun I heard they got good food prepared hahah but harmonix ftw

//edit//

23.51pm

Suddenly felt like watching HSM 2 so here I am

Ended up having a really nice day hahaha honestly I have no idea what we do half the time but it's always fun so who cares

Spent 2 hours eating and talking about life literally the things I recently blogged about like the whole balance thing

We transcend ahahah

Then we roamed city plaza and one km before deciding on ice cream at tanjong katong

Jumped on a bus to kallang wave mall where we roamed again and we wanted to bowl but there were a lot of humans ew so we ate ice cream AGAIN hahaha

(you know a day is good when you eat ice cream twice)

Took a long bus ride for her to go back to school while I went home to continue camp stuff heheh

Ok done

Long day ahead tomorrow, exciting! 

May it all go smoothly.

Sweetdreams hunties

Phew (02.13am)

Feels like some more weight lifted off me!
Finally finished learning 4/5 choreos, just need to memorize and technicalise them which is another matter altogether at least im progressing after a month hahaha
Meeting yol in a few hours for a breakfast date at geylang, forever being aunties
Camp planning is going steady, insyaallah it'll go smoothly!
Main aim is to get everyone to love each other ceh forcing hahaha
Today I have to finish the last minute stuff cause my saturday is totally gone; from bahas meeting in the morning to main comm meeting the whole afternoon and then papa's birthday celebration at night
I dont think i'll even be able to go for the first one :')
We'll see
Ok I need to try and rest heheh buenas noches, sweetdreams!

02.46am

Had a pleasant chill evening, finally locked down 2 choreographies- 3 more to go hahaha two of which i've learnt halfway
I can do this!
Ended the night with a lovely catch up with fiqah before heading home to eat of course
Another day of training tomorrow plus I need to run a lot of errands- preferably within the next 2 days so I can enjoy my weekend haha
K I should rest- imman was so concerned (ok more like intrigued, annoyed, idk) over the fact that I dont sleep much he kept nitpicking my every action and relating it to my lack of sleep
"oh look at how slow you're eating you need sleep, look at how weakly you're holding the spoon, you are sleep deprived"
Hahahaha i cant

//edit//
17.14pm

My heart leaps over the thought that insidious 4 is out in cinemas now I have to watch it like it is compulsary
Kinda sad that's it's the last movie of the franchise but we'll keep expanding it in our brains okay
Wait for me elise!

04.57am

Actually no idea why im awake
Ok kidding ive been so engrossed in camp planning the past few hours

A lot of things in life are not ours, but if there's anything that are especially ours to own, it's patience and prayers
Noone can take it away honestly

ps what a true gang looks like

//edit//

07.24am

Finally feel like taking a break cause I hate math and camp planning involves math ew (I like grocery shopping though so it's ok hahah that's how I lasted hours doing this)

I JUST REALISED IM SUPPOSED TO MEET EVOKALS IN 5 HOURS TIME ahhh I need to nap and wake up on time 

And oh crap... Dance tonight D: 

//edit//

14.38pm

I've always been an earpiece person but i'm using headphones just so I can hear my basses in acappella songs clearer and with more feels, but it also means I cant wear earrings and shades because not only is it impractical, it also compromises my aesthetics (which is why im in a bus ride to town listening to a family behind me have giggles over their child's second day of school hahah soz eavesdrop but thoust child es muy interestante)

So you see my dilemma

Also let's hope the traffic at newton and novena is good because I have a movie to catch at 3.05 ha ha ha it's ok I trust the road ahead of me let's do this 

//edit//

19.02pm

Currently in the train to train hahahaha get it im going to training by train of course you do

Had a lovely afternoon, wished it was longer but hais it's ok we literally have all weekend to catch up 

Pitch perfect 3 was extra emotional cause we can relate hahaha hais I enjoyed it more than the first 2- except the whole dj khaled thing quite unnecessary but it made me emo at the end why

Had brunchinner at charlie brown cafe before jamming for a while.

Now im lateish for dance ahahais it's ok 

May I survive tonight well heeheh 

A year (00.10am)

Today marks a year since I decided to daily blog, and I kinda (very much) like it
Spent 30th of December with my harmonix for a gig at bras basah complex- there was a quickchange duo which made me sooo excited because have I even EVER seen one of my favourite magic acts in real life idk!!!!
But it was amazing I was so happy hahahaha
And then we performed and I guess a performance is well done when I see people smiling, even if the 'people' is the team, or just me
Had dinner and dessert at keichi's workplace, I loved the vibes along the whole alleyway, it felt very nice, everyone was socialising with family and friends, it was a nice weather, and dont even get me started on the desserts
Lowkey farouq's treat so thanks for that!
Walked to smu for our usual boardgaming session and on the way we made an original christmas arrangement hahahaha i cant even with talents (ok actually it was a joke but still sounded nice)
Played a new game!
I always dread learning a new game but like once we start I feel the excitement and so far in my life I haven't met a boardgame I didnt like- this is not a challenge to you, universe.
The hilarious part was that all our plot-twist jokes came to life because keichi and I were at the bottom (oh we were playing munchkins ive never played it) for A WHOLE DECK (with like 3929 cards in it) and suddenly after everything reshuffled we just kept going up and ended up being top 2 hahahah I cant
It made my year (ha ha ha ha)
And then lynn got bored (I heard we played it for 3 hours idk didnt feel like it at all) so we moved on and we decided to combine both ladies' and gents' way of bonding and ended up halting a game of hitler just to talk, which was really lovely cause we spend so much time together without truly knowing each other

After dance training though I was so shagged I walked in the rain for like 20 mins and didnt bother changing buses, allowing me to go through another round of rain walking
Spent the last few hours alone at night sleeping in the rain and waking up like 30 times before I got awakened at 4am with everyone coming home and being forced to move
I can't remember the last time I felt so exhausted I could not move but I felt like that thrice last week
IN ONE WEEK- the night of the PSA gig, the period after dance and that 4am period
But I understand it's just the last few days before new years I think the magnetic force just makes me extra tired (hahahaha no link but got link)

Today was a really lovely start to the year, visited mak yah's place and ate great food and doughnuts
We got so excited when my nephews and niece came back from KL in the evening as much as I hate seeing kids growing so fast, I appreciate them being able to interact more with us.
May they (and chiqatito of course) have a blessed, fun and energetic day back to school later!

My first week of January is already packed to the brim so today technically is my only free day and even then it's not really free
Gotta go out to get gifts for ASB's gift exchange, continue camp planning and settle school stuff.
I hope the week goes well for us all.
Goodnight, sweetdreams!

ps ive procrastinated my yearly reviews since 5 years ago (omg i cant believe 2013 is 5 years ago even as im typing that i cant believe I STILL CANT BELIEVE) so i stopped trying

pps ok la just procrastinating again

//edit//

18.28pm

I realise this week can be considered both hellweek and funweek and idk pls why do i suddenly have so many things going on hahahah this is a terrible snowball i live in singapore there is no winter thus no snow why is the effect still ongoing

See now im rambling

Ok take one step at a time, slowly crawl ok you're on your own time you got this 

Duh

K bye 

2018 (00.00am)

Happy new year!