You wished (21.53pm)

Just saying my heart will be uneasy until wrestlemania ends because I still no comprendo cannot fathom the fact that taker vs roman is a thing I know I probably complain about this everywhere but seriously it has been unacceptable and will be like no matter the results im greatly unhappy it even happened

Erm...k today was my last day of work yayyy back to the comfort of NTU after 2 weeks of being in a foreign land.
Went for hei sushi lunch which was amazing and my weird caviar needs were satisfied (not really ah just I couldnt remember the last time I tasted the crunchy goodness so this is technically revision)
I want to thank the always lovely colleagues, i've loved working there since the first time in 2014 because not only does every human I make eye contact with immediately smiles, everyone keeps asking if I have eaten and if I want food aka such a friendly, caring work environment thank you.
Tried to meet shabs today but hahhahaha wrong buses led me straight home
Ok la ada hikmah :')

I always say my schedule is packed but this coming week beginning tomorrow, hahahahahahah im laughing at myself ok no days off
Morns to night hustling but eyy the rock would be proud of me
Im just thankful that my sleep schedule is not a problem as of now because wow just can we all take a moment

Idk what im talking about ah actually hahahah I have a few annoying things on my mind but hopefully they'll clear by the weekends!
It's only 10pm and my eyes are already heavy good
Pretty sure after work ends my body clock will go back to its natural weirdness (which I know and love) due to the elimination of routine

Ok ah my brain lazy to move so please have a goodnight and may you have sweetdreams of flying frogs

Feeling unproductive but (15.34pm)

Beware the barrenness of a busy life

And my feelings had all along been put in words by my sassy senpai Socrates (alliteration whaddup)
Im doing too many things but I accomplish nothing in particular
Im ok with it for now cause im still at the stage of life where im trying new things that I probably wont have any interest or outlet to do in the future

Wednesday nights are great, though we were unproductive it was relaxing and I like the company la hahaha
Though once I reached home I just knew i'd have trouble sleeping
Managed to sleep before 2.30 though hahah

Today was a trying morning but by keeping the lookout positive everything turned out cool~
My phone died while I was asleep hhahaha u loser (actually my fault ah left 1% I still set alarm lol)
Woke up half hour before work started ahahais
And a few setbacks occurred but then I had a relaxing bus ride so it's ok!

Watched bring it on and it lifted my spirits for a while until I remembered I have a meeting tonight
I even forgot I had a test in class which I have to reschedule again aka half of me is so on and like yes cmon we will do this keep trying the other half is just like amiga, its ok remod or get D it's ok

Hahahahaha a few hours before work ends and tomorrow is my last daaaay
Im gonna miss this place (again) although i wont miss the early wakings and many walkings journeys to and fro work
And just office jobs in general yo no comprendo the boredom y how gentes survive hahaha

ps ive been replaying the song im supposed to learn for the past few hours but it's just annoying me now hahahah maybe cause that's literally all i listened to this whole time i need to stop

pps i need a weekend off..... not happening hahah

ppps not a want but a need both of us breaking fREEEEE

While I wait (09.03)

Really not anticipating this year's mania
Taker vs freaking reigns???
A CONCERT?????
Smackdown women's champion at PRESHOW!!!???

Absolute bonkers

Hey it's ok, it's ok (19.50pm)

The last thing the world needs more of is fake people
It's so easy to be two faced, to try and please every side despite going against each of them.
But it'll never be worth it.

This is random but just a sleep schedule update, ive been sleeping like a normal human this past week which is amazing alhamdulillah
The sleeping mask deserves credit ah hahahaha everytime I put it on my brain is forced to shut down

I really want to meet myself as a baby and carry her and play with her see what kind of infant I was cause I have no idea and people can only explain so much u know

Btw im obsessed with the rock's "you're welcome" it's literally my usual de nada but in a melodious way so catchy and I just like it a lot a lot

This post is random because I fulfilled nothing in my to do list except transfer photos and videos from the gopro hahahahahh tough job
Few more days of work and I can go back to schooling just in time before the semester ends!
May all our affairs be eased, Insyaallah!

Way back home (22.22pm)

I think... im feeling less packed as of right now
I just need to do my essay but I know this unpressurized moment will last a short while before final essay season begins hahahahaahhahah im prepping myself but im really not

Idk what im feeling now im neither sleepy nor tired or energetic or hungry, not hot or cold, quite dizzy actually because im typing in the train
Aka bad idea
I just cant wait to be home and idk just do nothing
Yessss thats it, im probably void of myself thats why im feeling this nothingness
A little alone time will cure it insyaallah

I need to stop letting wednesdays be the only day I have fun hahahah so im looking for ways to spice up my other weekdays
Today was not bad, nothing spectatular but eyy things progress bit by bit, and they resurrect even slower but we gotta give them time and keep trying
At least I got to A) finish watching parent's trap finally
B) talk about bahas C) meet yol after so long

Er not sure what I was talking about then but guess what, dnpgames uploaded twice consecutively and it is NOT GAMINGMAS
I appreciate it though I havent had the chance to watch them yet
Tonight is the night
(Gurl dont u have an essay to do)
(Ignores self)

Did I really... (05.23am)

Before I begin let me just say 2 things firstly I fell asleep immediately after wearing a clay mask (which im supposed to rinse off) and that is a clear sign of how much I could even
Secondly hahahah I woke up to not only a 40 mins dnpgames, but it's a game phil made but I could only watch like 5 mins of it because today will be another early start of the day!

Crazy long day yesterday, but as usual, sometimes help comes in the most unexpected ways.
Lunchtime was one of the fondest first-time lunch with  new friends because we were all- ahh idk how to explain it but it was just a great moment
This year is weird without my gang but im thankful that we got to be a thing at all- we were the best team to me muehehe
But there's always room for newness, and here's where these people come in!
I got to say they did a pretty dandy job!
Thank youx3
What began as a sole float in choppy waters so far became a leisurely float with the currents
Hahahahhhah ok obvs im drunk what kind of analogy was that
(Not bad what, what are you talking about)
(Idk i feel uncomfortable all around)

You know I tried sleep cycle calculator and yesterday I woke up feeling quite undisturbed, no idea if placebo or true ceh hahaha
But since I accidentally fell asleep earlier yesterday today abit tired ah hahaha

Okk I need to start getting ready........
May today's affairs go smoothly for us all insyaallah!

ps i was actually vlogging them in the first photo but they suddenly stood and went in formation hahahhaah but so synchronized can also

Everybody has those days (21.33pm)

I have this habit of waking up early, playing my phone to wake myself up before getting ready and sometimes it works great and I feel dandy after one youtube video but other days like today it makes me late hahahaha
I set an alarm for waking up, getting ready and going out but I ignore all la eventually

I took the long route home from work and man clarke quay during sunset is just beautiful
Bahas season begins tomorrow!
It would be different without my usual gang but hopefully with the new people it'd be manageable.
Still have the pre bahas nerves which is a good thing
Dance on Sunday is pushed back to 2pm which im thankful for :')

Mmmmmm I wanted to do my essay but i ended up karaokeing by myself and now im feeling so lepak but I want to go to sleep at grandma's place cause she lives closer to eunos

I wanted to speak about something emo today but currently not feeling it hahaha which is good I guess
School is a mess currently but hey im holding the steering wheel it's ok to divert (at least for me lah)
Ok no thinking of serious things cause im actually quite stoked for tomorrow hehhaa adios
Goodnight sweetdreams of Barney (aka one of my bffs)

ps mlm theme tonight is musical, one of the best! 

pps jOZANNNN 

Keep pushing (23.16pm)

Currently in a major dilemma
I dont think it's a problem at all but being rational and optimistic might be one of the weirdest thing about my brain because it means i'll be internally debating but there'll never be a winner because my rational side understands both point of views while my optimistic side accepts that both ways, it might be good.

My phone keeps ringing I muted a few groups for a week for the first time since my whatsapping days started i'd usually do 8 hours but too much ah hahah
Took the test with 0 knowledge but I passed I am thankful honestly......
Went for philo of science for the first time in a long time and idk, I was just- I think my brain has too little scientific percentage that it was disinterested in the whole hypothesis confirmation thing hahaha but I kept trying thats what matters :')
So work resumes for another week and in the meanwhile bahas preliminaries starts this weekend, I have an essay and proposal due soon, and we're working towards the first ever harmonix external showcase!
Dont mention dance trainings la ok hahaha.
It's good, I must however thank my subconscious for making sure im taking care of myself- like the fact that i havent eaten all day and didnt feel like it but i reminded myself to bite somethings hahahah sounds weird not really because falling sick is the last thing i'd want at this point of time

Just got back from the hospital to visit pak yus, alhamdulillah he's getting better!
It's always great to see family and baby izzah is growing so healthily!
She turns exactly 2 months today hehehe

Btw, Anugerah ended!
I slept when it was on air but I woke up exactly during the pause before they announced the winner's name hahahhaa that was cool
My only comment is that insincerity will always prevail lah ok
Im happy for them!

Ok I need sleep pronto
Goodnight, sweetdreams

When different activities evoke different energies (1.33am)

Oh no ive been bad at this
I had a lovely day today, though I actually woke up late and had to cab to the office cRIES I actually hate cabbing but grab betrayed me with the surge pricing so aiseh had to
But the taxi uncle was so excited to hear that I was learning philosophy he was so interested and apparently he does readings of mencius and laozi too which is real cool!

Had a pleasant day at work and then harmonix is always a fun place to unwind and recharge at the same time do you get me
We managed to play a bonding game since attendance was horrible hahaha but it was nice getting to know them all

I am actually sleepy
I have a short meeting and then a test tomorrow (literally took leave cause teru is so nice i cannot even care that im missing work to attend his class D:)
I have two essays due last week and yesterday but I have yet to commence on those let's see
I have to get focused on final essays' deadlines especially

Ok my eyes hurt I cant open them
My youtube subscription box is flooded with new unwatched videos
It means there will be a bingewatch session soon!

Need to remind myself to go to school and not work tomorrow ok
Goodnight, sweetdreams!

ps can I cheat and write yesterday's date I mean yesterday was 92 mins ago

pps ah nevermind

ppps happy birthday my tatyana alejandro! ♡

Just, wow (08.05am)

I havent felt this chirpy for quite sometime, tis great!
Idk what happened in the last few hours because I for sure didnt get anything done
But I had an epiphany which ironically is one of the things I have always held on about life; it's that if something is weighing you down or making you miserable just know that you have control over how you react, heck even in desperation you can choose to ignore the consequences
Of course, this is not an advice for humans with no common sense or balance please avoid.

Anyway, I had an amazing walk to the bus stop (actually right as I stepped out of the house my mood was so lifted) because the weather is beautiful!
Birds were chirping and cats which are usually lazy and quiet was meowing hahahaha
I think I was just looking at how lively everyone and everything along the walkway felt and looked.
And remember what I said about force feeding positivity to my surroundings?
I've always believed that it comes back, and it surely does.
Literally reached the bus stop and the express bus I most needed but rarely ever catch arrives

See with this kind of mood which (ok I need to stop using the word 'ironically' but it's true how) weirdly arrives when I decide to abandon my work totally, it makes me actually want to do my work.
I guess I work best when im not obliged to so note to any of my future clients, offer me jobs which doesnt sound like a responsibility por favor gracias

I hope anyone reading this (especially me in the future hello sista) realise you have the power to change your lives around anytime anywhere
May you have a splendid day ahead!

The force literally forced to be awoken (21.52pm)

Here we are again, the verge of deadlines and thus the time I somehow suddenly find myself finding more things to do to ignore the things im supposed to do
And in the end I have a lot to do hahahahaha whats new
As of this very moment, im like trying to accomplish 2 things at once which is not efficient at all I know but I cant help it

Ive been so caught up I havent even watch ALL 5 OF DNP'S VIDEO which says A LOT because i'd literally sacrifice sleep to watch them but I can't even attempt to not sleep.
Idk if it's conscious or not because I find myself realising that I am so rest deprived that I have been sleeping quite regularly this past week.
But the bad part of it is that I get nothing school-related done because my waking day is literally work and outside commitments
NOTE TO SELF U ARE A STUDENT UR JOB IS TO GO TO SCHOOL ???? WAT R U DOING

Needless to say I have to make a wise decision tonight; either to complete my work in this half drunk state or to sleep and wake up earlier to do these.
Either way I still dont get my alone time until probably next week but im glad to have that to look forward to (aka binge watching phan as celebration finally)
(Im surprised I even have the willpower to not immediately watch their videos)
Ok I need to go.
May tonight be a productive night, May I be given the capacity and willpower to fulfill my responsibilities to the best of my abilities.
As of now, i'd need all the kindness and understanding I can get but if I dont get it meh life lesson 101 you dont always get what you want
Hahahahah jk i mean if I force feed the universe with enough positive energy it'd probably come back to me
Insyaallah
Goodnight in advance, sweetdreams!

ps pun in title unintended

pps what i feel like doing to everyone

2nd time missing you (01.03am)

I have a good reason though.... kinda
Suuper shagged cause we had a long day!
Actually now im on the verge of falling asleep but idk I cant seem to shut my system down just yet.
Was watching Addams family with eatgo earlier on and both of us were like drunk people sleeping one second and laughing the next
We would somehow take turns being awake and suddenly speaking to the other and then one minute later both of us are sleeping
The cycle repeated till the whole movie finished so like 10 mins ago hahahah that was something
Both in denial cause sleepy but wants to watch a midnight movie ah
Now that we're both are finally "sleeping", im awake
What even
Ok i need to sleep though
Training in 10 hours time!

I'll blog about yesterday soon ok anyway I can miss 18th aprils cause in 2013 demdems came to SG for the first time and I didnt get to meet her so like saddiversary

Goodnight sweetdreams!

We're doing this! (21.16pm)

Aloha!
Currently on my way to woodlands for a much needed training with ms green tea :')
Im literally in my pyjamas and my hair is still wet but im so comfortable and at ease (ok ah a bit sleepy but this will cease as soon as I meet eatgo as usual hahaha)
Tomorrow will be an early day man we can both vouch that for the first time in dance performing history we actually feel slight nerves.
So we do have hearts and emotions huh thats new hahahahah jk

I keep replaying the showcase videos because we really didnt sound as bad as we thought???
Quite normal, innit, when we're recording and think we sound great, we replay it and ew what even were those notes
But when we think we sound disguspink, the recording is actually so okay hahaha.
I already have we are young withdrawals even though we have one more showcase to focus on

Anyway today was a... weird day as in I woke up in a great mood but there were some trying things as I had to fulfill the school-fees quest during lunchtime
I totally underestimated the distance between nus and ntu what even lunch was an hour and the travelling time to ntu is half hour
I had to wait 24 numbers (which took 20 mins) just to find out I had to pay at OCBC which had like 3 numbers ahead of me hahahaha nevermind I forgive u all
But all is settled and good so Alhamdulillah!
And mamamas packed me lunch which was nice

I finally got around to grace's podcast while doing work
I would say Yay weekend but honestly my weekends and weekdays are the same hahaha which I like cause you know no structure to life ehehe
Ok I shall enjoy demdems singing nightingale for me~
Goodnight, sweetdreams!

Can't I stay young (08.34am)

Currently at my dad's workplace for a random part time job that I agreed to which I regretted (just for a while) this morning because I forgot how early I had to wake up (now my 9.30 classes look more forgiving)
Ended up sleeping in and grabbing here which was quick swift I took exactly 20 mins to arrive not bad uncle driver thank you so much

The last time I was here I was 18 and although it was not my first time working in an office, the job scope was way fresher and the colleagues were great.
Now almost 3 years on I feel like (although it probably won't be appropriate) I need to portray myself as a clueless kid again.

//edit//
23.19pm

Currently waiting for my bus back from the meeting~
Still thinking of how to escape the office for a while to pay my school fees tomorrow...
Lunch it is.
Im quite sleepy idky (hahahaha idk huh ya right)

Oh ya in my quest of sleeping in this morning I managed to watch dnp for like 7 mins to lift my spirit up but I had enough self control to stop and save it for later hahah

Anywayyy today's job was different from the previous, wayy easier
And I was listening to the radio throughout, had to keep jumping channels because they kept playing the same (horrible) songs bluek
But my demdems accompanied me twiceeee today so tomorrow I expect more ok huney
Where is the bus......
Today I got so much food from people ahhais super blessed ok
Ok the bus is here,
Adios!

Help (22.53pm)

Omg im otw home now help still so long to go
Be right back

//edit//
23.56pm

Today was a pretty good day, a solid sky blue on my year in pixels chart!
Began the day early, though I didn't go to morning class.
I've been able to sleep thanks to sleeping masks!
I've always known they worked but sometimes I just dont want to sleep you feel me but these past 2 nights have been pretty solid.
Yay

Spent my morning with my fellow gangstas listening to bollywood songs as they studied for their test
And then to metaethics where andrew was extra wild today I liked it hahah
Harmonix afterwards was the showcase which was funnnn
Im so happy for my group though I know we can do so much better but literally who cares been there, done that and we have the next showcase to work towards
I just hope we actually try to have fun this time round cause even if we dont sound good at least we gain fond memories ah ok hahaha
Ok I just reached home actually should go and settle down and have dinner.
A few seconds before the day ends so
Goodnight! (Eh exactly 12am now hahah)

IT HAS HAPPENED (21.04PM)

AMAZINGPHIL HIT 4MILLION SUBS

What have I done (18.16pm)

Currently at school for progs meeting
As annoyed as I am at Grab for their insincere promos in the forms of grabpay-users-only, the 3$ off to school means I spend less money on grab than on bus (i think, i paid 1$) :')
Sad part is the siblings are actually out to watch movie but im stuck in schoooool

Anyway ok get this, I just agreed to do an office hour part time job for the whole of this week and next- I FORGOT IM A STUDENT with schoolsponsibility and assignments and tests oh crab
May my affairs be eased (is that even a word)
Actually in a quite empty mood because I have so many decisions to make but I dont want to make them you get me hahahaha
Like this weds I have 4 events clashing and two of those are real urgent im literally rolling a dice not really.
(Im not paying attention to this meeting ehehe.....)

Im so muddled that I actually slept fairly properly for the past 2 nights
Which is good I guess
Kinda hungrehhh but where got time
Cant wait to be home and settle the other calling stuff.
Or I can just do those assignments at the office tomorrow hm perhaps bueno idea.

Ok please wish me strength and luck, i'll need those.
And I pray for the same for all too, God willing!
Have a great evening ahead!

Pleasant day (00.11am)

Dudeee that should have sealed the deal but nOooOo im not even sleepy yet pls
I actually got 90 mins sleep last night before spending the whole day at wild2 wet.
Real fun and relaxing, and the weather was Alhamdulillah the best weather for days like these!
Dinner with the fams and we were feeding each other like synchronised dancers what even hahaha
Then I thought "ok confirm reach home I can KO"
Skali reach home changed into PJs and im wide awake
Talk to my hand pls

//edit//
7.03am

Hahahahah I woke up to a dnpgames video 27 mins in and I cant stop laughing great content guys
Another long day ahead but I feel pretty well rested
Helped that I woke up to such a lovely screaming video I mean game's pretty loserish but they made it manageable
Okay, may you have an amazing day ahead!

Need to try harder (5.02am)

I figured i'd blog now because I foresee myself being too tired to bother by tonight
Literally spent the whole day trying to complete my essay but i'll type a few words and then stop and once microsoft word even crashed so that was fun
So instead of dwelling over it and forcing myself knowing it'll never happen anytime soon, I went on to watch harry potter

Wild day ahead!
Ehehehe the adjective giving a clue on what's happening but I also need to go and buy makeup brushes because with a babysister all your makeup will either be lost or destroyed on a weekly basis but it's ok, joys of having sisters :')

Im wearing 2 layers of clothes and the fan is on low and not even facing me but idk im feeling cold and hot at the same time
Tried switching the fan off it was (ok la not warm but) uncomfortably breezeless
And im tired but mama's alarm will be ringing very soon so i'd either take a nap or hold it together hahaha will need to get up soon anyways
We'll see

Today I, (13.38pm)

I just scrolled through fb and literally first 3 posts were people complaining about something and idk I feel like fb is a good platform people can rant and get opinions and support
I mean rather than they keep it to themselves and eventually burst, it's like a diary but public.
Most of these are about things they cant really change, so like people say if  you can't change a situation change the way you think about it
But that is not easy so ranting is one option

I was also thinking about the concept of memes and how it is such a cool product of the new age like how can the world unite over dumb catchphrases and a single photo that's pretty cool

I am also... supposed to be doing my essay due in less than 1.5 hours time ahahahais goodluck
(Thank u)

My bad (2.14am)

Oh nooo you know I was well aware I have an essay due 9th march but idk why I assumed that was a friday but otw home from Harmonix I realised it's due in a few hours time :')
Why 3pm though prof why
This is probs the class I skipped most times hahha aiyaiyai
Needless to say idk what to expect and im now finally facing the laptop after a random 2 hours of cards against humanity with along shammy lopez and elephant (i actually won wth hahahaha i think cause our sense of humour similar)
Like if I played with other people I never ever win cause they laugh at things I dont and vice versa hahaha but it was great laughing at the same things together xD
Im also currently eating my dupper (lol pretentious ahahah)

Today was peaceful, woke up after 8 hours of sleep (of course distrupted by a few waking ups but still 8 hours) and for the first time in metaethics class I didn't feel too sleepy to function and I well absorbed everything
Note to self: just sleep la hahahah
Andrew was extra nonsense today I loved it!
Skipped morning class, im risking my 2nd assignment because idk who in their right mind made it a partnered assignment wth I dont know anyone in class apart from ash and I bet she already has a partner pshhht
But im not too worried as of now i'll just do my thang

Harmonix is always fun, and Earl was there too
My group is improving so well im happyyy
Showcase is next week and I dont think anyone is prepared hahaha lets just do it ok make mr nike proud whoever he is

Ok gotta go focus on this essay due in a bit over 12 hours time
Lucky it's an afternoon class tomorrow
But.... still deciding between which meeting to attend later pls I need to gauge which one would be more productive for today and which one needs my involvement more but im leaning towards bahas for now but you know I might change my mind if (ok la, once, not if) im in school

Let me eat in peace hahaha buhbye takecare

//edit//

12.16pm

I knew I shouldve trusted myself ahahais anyway I was struggling to push myself to start on the essay (but I kept telling myself to try which I usually never do so A* for effort) and when I checked the prompts again, paper is actually due tomorrow :') Alhamdulillah, this is a true blessing cause I was awake at 5.45am today and spent what 4 hours moping around trying to think a) whether to skip class to do this essay b) dont skip class because i miss it and send in the essay tonight c) skip class because he uploads powerpoint slides anyways d) for the love of knowledge just go to class e) but later must travel to bedok

Ok am I really evaluating or am i psyching myself to not go for class hahhaa either way loser la 

Dnpgames new video hahaha they are beauties and beasts at the same time how....... I am thankful that they're uploading so often it feels like gamingmas but better 

AMAZINGPHIL NEEDS LESS THAN 5000 SUBS TO REACH 4 MILLY I am stoked!

And just watched lilly's vlog and merrell twins were on the thumbnail I got so emo cause I remembered when they were just small youtubers doing it for fun and then managed to collab with dtrix which was amazing and now they're collabing with superwoman (wHO is coming to SG the day i'll be overseas pffft)

Don't get it (2.34am)

Ya ya ya
I woke up at 11.50pm after accidentally falling asleep ahahais.....
Nevermind
Mama was like "why are u always awake when we are sleeping" but she knows my vampire tendencies la ok hahaha
I just hope to get at least 2 hours of sleep just because im not feeling too good but will I be able to thats another question

Left home about 7.40am this morning and took the first bus that came, ended up at harbourfront interchange haha
I roamed around but all shops were still closed so I bought breakfast and headed straight to labrador park.
It was quite a walk in but since I was alone it was really relaxing
And as I was walking I was remembering the times we would always go there and hangout with mama lin and family, where me elephant ain and ika would choreograph dance and drama, we would sing ndp songs in january, haihh really really great times.
And so I kept walking and oftentimes I felt like I should stop but I wanted to go to the exact place we always hung out at.
And guess what.
I mean if you know me you wouldn't be surprised but hahahaha
So I saw a group of woodlands sec students sitting in a circle and my first thought was "Is ika there" which is cmon, what are the odds out of all the levels and classes and small groups why would ika be in THIS particular one (this is why math is nonsense fate does not care about probability)
Lo and behold, as I was approaching, she was removing her jacket so my attention was more on her and voila, it was her!
So keeping my cool I went over and said hello while my insides were bursting with excitement I mean cmon, I was literally JUST thinking of our times together at this exact place and I saw her what even.
If I hadn't roamed around vivo or if I had decided to stop walking earlier I would've completely missed seeing her and haiz just, His steps for us are always amazing.

So I spent what felt like hours just enjoying the breeze and listening to the crashes of the waves and enjoying the view, the sun wasn't out so the sky was bleak but really cool.
Had my breakfast and then I went and... attempted my main mission which was to track the labrador hill.
The park was empty by this time, all the kids went home and needless to say the hill looked abandoned.
So I walked in and got distracted by a squirrel who kept running away until I realised it was actually leading me back to the entrance.
Halfway I asked it, "Are you giving me a sign not to go in?" and it kept running nearer to the entrance and when I finally reached there, it ran away and disappeared.
So I hung out for like 20 seconds before walking in again, further this time round but hhaahhaah I dont care that the sky was bright or that it was noon, a forest is a forest and I cant trust my sleepless self fully (imagine if I kept walking in in this state) so better remain in the safe zone

Then I grabbed to high street to collect a prize and that's when I saw the national art gallery which I have always been wanting to visit but never got around to so that was the perrrfect time!
It was really lovely, managed to cover only 2 floors because I read every inscriptions (which was nice that I was able to do it because I thought i'd be more zombie by then) before the tiredness of walking the whole day got to me.
The place was really empty as well!
In one of the galleries (I wont risk butchering the name hahah) the officer actually took his time to explain his own interpretations of the artwork which was really nice to hear.
I love seeing people passionate about their jobs!
So I walked in not having a clue what each paintings meant but walked out with a full on kickass knowledge.
(is this what non-lit people feel when they read poems hahaha)

So I then headed home and managed to stay awake for 4 hours before falling asleep :')

Today I spoke in different accents and pretended not to understand english hahahah but when I did, I spoke in american, british, japanese, indonesian, malay and indian accents to different people

Definitely will go out on morning trails again, probably after waking up from a good sleep instead of working backwards cause as we see, it backfired hahaha
Whatever and dnpgames new video is so darn cute phil's faces in shake it I cant stop laughing

Ok goodnight have a great and safe wednesday ahead!

ps wow what a long post

pps OMG YES IF ROMAN VS TAKER WRESTLEMANIA REALLY HAPPENS I .. I .. I CANT im genuinely upset like im sadder than I am when I received my O level results and got C for lit 

ppps actually photos in camera ah i couldnt bother taking using my phone

Out and about? (7.21am)

Mm... project solo is looking like it's underway.
Will probably update here as I go along because i'll be alone so i'll be talking to myself.
I haven't slept if you hadn't guessed, but it's all the more better because tonight might finally be the tuesday night I properly slept after a month hahahah
Ok currently just charging up my phone it's at 82% and I plan to leave home at 7.30am
Not sure where i'm headed to yet so i'll just take any bus that comes first and alight whenever I feel like.
Have a great tuesday!

//edit//
18.14pm

The day turned out more eventful than expected, will talk about it later because im actually laying in bed trying to fight the tiredness like hello the whole point of today was to tire myself out (not really ah hahaha but it was an agenda) and if I took a nap now it might mean I wont sleep again pfft talk to my hand
Let me rest for a while ok
Today was fun just so you know

The only way to go is up (22.14pm)

It upsets me that people will do anything to go into University, including taking  a course they have no interest in.
I get it, sometimes we sacrifice for the greater good; a better pay to fend for our families, and doing anything to break cycles.
But idk sometimes I just- wished people have more heart and courage to go for what they want, and give themselves time.
I know of some lovely families who never rushes their child, who believes that one day no matter what their kids do, it'd be for good.
And some families are more... I wouldn't say impatient but probably lack belief.
Im sure sometimes it's out of desperation but looking at the long run, I just hope whatever people do brings to themselves happiness, too.
See i'm always torn between believing in the paths paved out for us so much we walk into it blindly, and creating our own paths.
For now im just eternally grateful to be placed in a spot I have always wanted as a child, which both benefits me and Insyaallah my family and the society in the future.

Days like this makes me want to chokeslam myself for being so annoyingly procrastinative and complaininative in school-related stuff when I literally have no right to.
I'll keep trying, anyways.
Did I tell you I did my essay afterall?
Though I know it was pure bullcrap, and there was no content at all, it was all I managed for now.
Proposal is done for now unless it gets rejected bahaha...

I was asking myself why don't I do more of the things I love if I can help it, so with His will hopefully I want to begin tomorrow beautifully.
Aka solo secret project because Elephant will never wake up early and she might complain a lot.

Just one more essay to settle this week, and meetings aplenty as usual but i'm looking forward to a calmer week than the last one.
Yay to choosing positivity!
Have an amazing week ahead please takecare of thy healths!

Actually trying (2.49am)

Where does one draw the line between being tougher on yourself and not forcing yourself and be too harsh cause I have no idea but since I have survived this well in my life I probably do know, just unaware of it

I cant sleeeeeep
Actually slept at 11pm since I was alone at home but I woke up an hour later booo thought i'd be able to finally get decent amount of sleep

Thankfully monday class next week is cancelled cause I can't for the life of me imagine going for the class
Looming deadlines but once this week passes I could take a lil breather before another 2 weeks of craziness
Used to it ah and I kinda appreciate this system not gonna lie; chiong one week lepak another week
Pretty economical (hahahahahah what do I care about economics I don't)

I feel like editing vlogs but I also feel like once I switched on the laptop and imported the files i'll be disinterested because laptops remind me of work
(Even though I do my work using phone hahahah logic)

Whatever happens, I have to sleep (I wanted to say before 3am but that's 6 mins more hahahah crab)
Need to go somewhere and do my essay after dance.
I've established that this time round i'd rather bull something than not submit at all
Number 1 tip that works all the time for me is start by writing nonsense (more like long winded version of what you know about the subject matter) and THEN go bother about finding content
I already wrote out prompts so now I just need to know what to write about hahah
Slowly but surely the word count will inch up bit by bit and finally i'll either realise that
a) I only got 80 words to go! Time to remove conjunctions and add unneccessary words- if I have no points left
OR
b) I went over the word count already?!
And both are not bad feelings at all ah

Ok i'll try to sleep before 3.30am
Please cooperate with me, me, thank you in advance

ps my blog has become a sleeping and schooling complain portal is it eww

pps ok la still got motivational stuff and bants

ppps idky this photo is so amusing I like it hahaha

Keeping it together (14.33pm)

Ok im muddled
First of all, Happy Saturday!
Weather looks crap from the room and it's cold bruh I slept without the fan and with a jacket thanks for helping me save electricity hahaha
Anyway I slept at 7am and woke up an hour later feeling like i've arisen from a whole night's sleep.
Somehow the fever has not subsided yet; maybe a repeat of the last bout will occur maybe in this coming week i'll be sleeping early and waking up early I REALLY DONT MIND!

So many things to settle today and the fams want to go out and I have no willpower to stay at home
Hahah jk I can do this
Just need to urgently settle essay and proposal for now.
Other things that can be put off, I have to put off.
Ok now that I got it all out, it seems manageable to me!

Dance tomorrow but ms green tea will be out of town boooo
Ok I better end this post before my lepak side emerges and influences my work-mode
Adios!

//edit//

16.26pm

I feel like the youtube community is truly a legitimate... community.

Like right now im watching the merrell twins hitting 2 mill subs when I think they haven't even hit 4k subs when I first found them

And AmazingPhil who is surely clinching his 4 mill subs this month after 11 years on youtube im just proud you know like sure he doesnt have the most subs but im darn sure his subs are the most loyal ones out there who loves him the way he is (aka me ah)

Ok end of rant back to work (im actually doing the proposal while everyone is getting ready to go out i dont care i want to finish this and my essay so I can go out too)

Maharaja Lawak Mega 2017: Minggu 3

The best!
Zero: This was highly entertaining, start to end! I thought there would be a plot twist that the water was actually not deep at all but they didn't have to even go there to make the performance feel complete.
(Note to Mamu; if you want to bahan the same person of course go ahead, but find new ways to do so- pity rihanna but he's the best hahaha)

Bocey: I wasn't a huge fan of Abam's Indian entity last season (and probs two seasons ago too) but this Arab one worked so well! Simple storyline, lighthearted punchlines. Overall really fun! Loved it.

Masin: Surprise, surprise! Actually the second last performance I caught but I enjoyed it! I feel like people has only been comfortable with Vicha but tonight they broke the barrier. Not the most sophisticated performance but still entertaining and that's what MLM is about, entertainment.

Quite entertaining
Shiro: Just cause I love seeing them break characters. Storyline sounded cool at first but nothing really happened. The kompang segment didn't do anything at all, so it was a total waste of time!

Nice: I'll always be biased for them ah got to admit. I didn't LOL but I dont need to laugh to be entertained (throwback to Nabil)

Dzawin: Easy to follow story, and I always appreciate a starting and ending that connects!

Mmm not quite there
Danial: Very awkward delivery, and this is dangerous when tied with content that is not solid. (Throwback Rayza who although was awkward in delivery and took very long to warm up, his punchlines and story were so strong I enjoyed his performances!)

Puteh: Like I said, the same old jokes are getting old. Stop playing the race card in unneccessary situations and avoid laughing at your own jokes as characters too much. Cmon Puteh!

Abioso: Slightly loose performance, still natural and lovely to watch but punchlines and storyline were not tightened. I think the weakness were due to allocation of roles that were not too apt this time round, and lines delivered were sometimes unclear. Unneeded plot twist at the end, really.

XOXO: No idea if they're going to use the music thingy for longer but I see no problem as long as it truly works and not forced in. I wouldn't say it's not creative but idk it's just nothing special for now. Some parts lingered longer than needed and some parts were cut too short before the energy could build up. (the face that chot has the exact same face as lisa surihani distracts me so much hahhah both cuties)

Pistol: Just... what were they trying to do except to dig a hole for themselves. Some impressions were spot on though! Seemed like they were trying not to be cliché, but sometimes i'd rather cliché but effective than unique but zzzish you get me? I feel like they're not making good use of the time given. Dangerzone, this one.

Joras: Are they too comfortable idk but Syuk has been the group's strength in my eyes, so when he doesn't perform, the group's weaknesses becomes obvious. 

Mad sabah: I wonder how he does his planning, because some punchlines seem like he panicked and felt the need to fill in the silence with words that... doesn't work. Simple storyline that could've (should've) worked but somehow didn't work to its full capacity. More efficient punchlines though, I was entertained at some parts! Audience reacted really well to him but the ending was awkward when dato ac entered and I could feel the atmosphere being still hahaha (sooo not the feeling after a good show)

Eliminated: Mad sabah
Ok la if you read my previous review I may seem like I have something against him but honestly I don't, I give people equal chances ok :')
Tonight, he was definitely not the worst.
However, his punchlines sometimes has no link, which makes it seem too try-hard.
And momentum, gosh this must be so hard to keep track of but he lost momentum at the most unfortunate times- just when my attention was captured, he would pause for a second too long and just like that, interest gone.
Tonight he actually made me smile and that's an improvement considering the first two weeks.
I hope he keeps trying though!
Kudos

And goodbye to Hobit last week ahahais amirrreka

Finally a day home (13.28pm)

Wow.
I am so relieved that I am not going out today because idk if I can physically bear to do it (lol drama hahaha jk)
Reached home slightly before 1am after the BBQ and idk the weather was so beautiful and very windy I was surprised the fire even started ahahah
I mean for a bonding session it did work because I finally talked to humans i've never spoken to
Pretty well organized so thank you welfare team and everyone else who contributed!
Sorfi my angel got me a lipstick and a panda notebook????
I absolutely loved them, muchas gracias ♡

Today will be THE day I have have HAVE to finish my essays even though I know nothing.
If I can't (more like dont want to pfft) then tomorrow i'd have to skip taklimat
Sorry ah i've been very very behind in schoolwork this sem, i'll make sure none of this next sem

Anyway i've been feeling really inspired lately by young successful people and I was having an introspection wondering how they did it and why i'm not doing it.
I think a bulk of the reason comes from self belief and perseverance, one of those I do not actively practice because hashtag lepak but over reflecting, it'd probably be worth it.
So for now, if there's any steps needed to be taken, is simply converting negative energy to positive ones.
Let self doubt be the driver for self improvement,
Chase motivation and try and establish discipline-

WAIT let me interrupt myself by this crazy news-
2 years ago today my demdems announced a concert in SG and then I posted "what if wwe came too, that'd be my best dream and worst nightmare balled into one"
And of course, they did.
And earlier on, I saw rumours that WWE is coming to SG this year and I couldnt function for a while cause if this rumour turns out to be false I would seriously throw some leaves into the sea

And as much as I WANTT demetria to come again, I would rather she focus on her upcoming album before thinking of visiting me.
You go girl!

Ok my hand hurts and im still having a fever
I've been sleeping abnormally longer hours which sucks because too much sleep makes me more tired
I know it's because im not well rested at all so im going to try and keep myself in check again la ok
Like I said, not bad, just different.

Have a great friday ahead!

That escalated quickly (14.47pm)

Woke up with a fever ahahais
Im self aware that my working and resting schedule is the most imbalanced thing ever but hahaha cant help it ah
Totally missed Harmonix because I accidentally fell asleep again and then I woke up with an even higher temperature
(Cue dramatic music just because)

Idk if im feeling better or it's the illusion that the BBQ will be at the beach so i'll be at my fav place and all will be nice
The weather dont look too promising but it's the last day I can lepak before I have to start on my essays so im going regardless.

The pain from yesterday has subsided managamously (hahahahaha misuse of vocab is the trend- not really I just use it ironically- which ceases to be ironic once I explain myself oh wells)
But really though, I can move more now
Alhamdulillah!

Ok got to get ready now and leave home now theyre already back from Ubin
Btw check out these pics from yesterday aka why do I look unglam in all but nevermind I forgive myself

//edit//

15.56pm

Currently in the bus and I stand corrected, the weather is beautiful! (At least here in the central)

So to the East, watch and learn pls hahaha jk but.... 

What are stairs (23.44pm)

Was scrolling through fb so im just here to say YESSS CENA ask for Taker!
I just saw the headline and now I just HAVE to watch smackdown!

Currently otw home from dance and today was defo leg day; heels for hours in the morning and loads of bending for this new routine.
Will update with more details of today- quite an interesting day I got to say!
Brb

//edit//
1.07am

I dont even remember putting that as the title hahah
Anyway, yes, really nice day.
A solid cool blue in my year in pixels!
Started the morning with the photosession with the OE members, aka walking up and down stairs and hills in the heels, and standing for long periods of time (which is worse than actually walking around) but I survived ok hahaha
Had a really relaxing walk to the bustop and bus ride to seah im before heading to grammy's shop.
There's something about beautiful afternoons spent in an empty, cold bus with a nice view that is so special.
Got brunch and somehow ended up helping them pack food for the mosque which was fun muehehe.
Grabbed home (uber ah actually but I prefer the word grab cause linguistically pleasing- i.e not brand) and actually managed to get a solid hour nap before leaving for dance~

I think one of the reasons why today was great was because of the wind down sesh with my bestfriend, cmon, if only we lived nearer i'd be bugging her with frustrating stories k hahahahh
And she'll be telling me more weird stories about kids

Training was far from relaxing, but it felt so productive!
Got an external instructor who taught us different versions of zapins which was real cool but it also means lots and lots of bending aka now none of us can walk straight or sit straight ahahais

On the way home, was craving for prata but I didnt want to cause cmon ah literally just danced and it was 11pm but we realised there's a 23 hour mamak shop near our house so.... yep ended up suppering there hhehehe
While we were about to finish our food one uncle sat at the table beside us and we somehow struck a conversation because he sat down while giving the waiter the lamest joke ever that made me and elephant literally LOLed and obvs he heard us hahaha.
Turns out he works at rajaratnam school which is literally beside my classroom hahah small singapore huhh this is why I love talking to strangers we find out such weird things
And the coolest part is at grammy's place earlier on papa was saying that he was at NTU earlier on to send something to rajaratnam school and he was talking about a pakcik who drove too so he totally could be the one
I didnt know how to slip that into our weird convo though (including him laughing at his son for not having a girlfriend yet)
And also, he actually lives opposite MI which is literally whattttt even.

Soon his friend came and we spoke to him for a while too.
He thought me and elephant were twins, and then when we said no he thought she was the elder sister.
Normal perception anyways- either twins or im younger muehehehe
We then had to leave cause wanted to take the next bus~

Ahh, it was truly a good day, Alhamdulillah.

Tomorrow is another looong day- im either going cycling at ubin or harmonix in the morning, and then a BBQ in the afternoon.
Still yet to decide but just because 1) Lazy to wear sportswear 2) Only 1 training left before showcase, im leaning towards harmonix.
Anyway, seeing my current incapability to make my legs function, Not biking is a better option.

Woooo long post but it truly was a productive day and it was really nice.
Have a good night's rest!
(Im expecting a new dnpgames video when I wake up- if I can sleep anytime soon which I NEED TOOOO)

ps luckily i fell asleep last night, though it was around 3-4am- danny boi couldnt livestream hahaha see telepathy