YES

Homagad (I actually feel like a child who just completed her first painting and is excited to show it off because) SMACKDOWN WAS.... UGHHHHHH

So like I said it has been a while since I watched a full episode- meaning, some of the people on the roster I have never seen in action (I check updates daily so I know they exist but bleah) and some changes I haven't witnessed till just now.
I skipped the whole tag team fiasco because... jahaha cant tahan them try harder

Things that caught my attention

1) That diva with the red ombre idk (is it Alexa bliss I forgot) was such a horrible actress in that small segment with dbry I was cringing so bad

2) THE LOVE FOR SHANEOMAC was overwhelming I have been waiting for this day since he returned to the business- well deserved and kinda emotional

3) So weird not seeing Cena or Triple H what even

4) EDGE. Need I say more??? No I dont

5) Randy orton continues wowing me despite not speaking at all hahah just his presence

6) It's amazing to see the older fans cheering for the older superstars- it's like only they understand and share this special bond that the new generation does not have. I hope the youngsters/new viewers are jealous because they should be!

7) Undertaker appearing at an unexpected time- that slight tip of the hat to Shane I cannot even handle it! AND that vigorous UNDERTAKER chants made my heart so happy and proud and just everything good and nice

8) Ziggler-Miz match was good as usual! Except I was super shocked when I saw the spirit squad??? (Well 2 of them) Like when even were they a thing again wth go away

9) Too many announcers on one table bluek

10) All the snippets of old smackdown clips made me so emo- the rock vs triple h with shawn as guest referee, the dx-stone cold segment, cena trashing angle on his debut and ... wait for it........ taker shaking cena's hand (which literally is another reason why his retirement match should be against cena cant you understand it???)

Ahh I missed this roller coaster and im so glad I can return anytime I want to.
Have a good night's rest while I go ahead to catch up on other things i've missed ahahais

Finally im going to go watch Smackdown

Remember when I said i'd watch Smackdown's 900th episode after I completed my essays?
Well I never did because I did not finish my essays.
But you know what who even cares I need to catch up!
So after so long of not proper sitting down and watching WWE, I played the 900th episode and literally 30 seconds in, all the feels came.
Im talking goosebumps, heart palpitations and everything feel-related.
No communication with the outside world as long as it's on so, adios.

Hibernation mode

Hiii
Had a much needed downtime today after consecutive late nights and early days
It is post christmas aka when countdown to the new year begins!
2016 has been a great ride but I wont talk much about this now because not yet ok im still in the festive mood though I dont actually celebrate christmas
Meh who am I kidding living in this country we literally celebrate everything together hahahahha which is nice

The christmas caroling sessions with Harmonix was loads of fun, all 3 of them!
Ended the last one by staying out till 2am with three elves- that was nice
(Why do I keep saying nice excuse my vocab)

Btw idk why (in the previous posts) I keep saying Atikah's wedding when I know for a fact that her name is Artika and not Atikah
I think it's cause I pronounce her name that way so the spelling just comes
But yes her name is totally NOT Atikah hahahaha still :')

And Gamingmas, Vlogmas, 24-days-ofs 2016 has wrapped up!
BUT I got a christmas present in the form of pinof 8 bloopers which made me... cant even explain la ok
OH I FOUND TWO Harmonix members who watches phan too and I was literally (???@@?@; u sure ??? U not dreeming r u???@, dun get muh hopes up @,@?)
But yes it wasnt just a nice dream it. is. reality

Anyway was supposed to meet north pole for cycling today but it somehow didnt happen?
Pretty bummed because it was so hard to set a date but hahah it's ok everything happens for a reason
I just miss them!

K before any weird topic jumps happen I shall go
Have a merry boxing day

ps i always make it out to be ironic peace signs but who are we kidding it's the only socially acceptable pose 

I MISS-TERIO! (Who doesnt)

Ok I literally have to leave home soon to go to grandma's but I just came across an article about reyrey and I HAD to commentate (yas) on it because hello, importante!
It's an article about why he left WWE so basically it's because he felt like he was not spending enough time with family, and that he felt almost burnt out.
He also mentioned that orton is the best wrestler in the WWE right now- which I can't lie, I agree fully.
(I mean I havent been watching him since he joined the Wyatts and shiz but still)
That charisma is just unmatched by the others as of now.
(If you dont agree just go away literally)

Anyway yep the article-

1) Reyrey is such a family man- diz is why he my first husband hahaha

2) His and randy's lowkey broski is the best thing ever (I wished it was as highkey as cena-orton because I love it)

3) Randy also picked reyrey as one of his fav- including HBK (DUH IM surprised reyrey didnt choose him too??? HBK is the boss) and HHH (undeniable)

But the article said:

"While Mysterio’s inclusion is well justified, it is certainly not the first name you would think that Orton would pick, considering the plethora of wrestlers, he has faced in the past."

Excuse yourself????
"Certainly"????
I would EXPECT orton to choose reyrey!
What an uncultured yeast

His extensive picks included Christian, Edge and of course the deadman

Ok now that I have gotten that excitement out of my system (jk it'll always be there) I should get ready now
Contemplating between Harmonix or karaoke with family tonight
Pretty sure I can fit both into my schedule lets just hope the fams start late hahahah
Alright
I neeeed to talk about yesterday but I kinda have to rush so as soon as I get back home ok

ps GAMINGMAS AND VLOGMAS 2016 IS ENDING SOON NOOoo

pps i already established a solid morning routine on watching gamingmas and then instagram for edits but now

ppps nevermind, new year ahead- no tour, no excuse for more videos muahaha

Cool day

Actually slightly worried that all my plans to sleep "as soon as I reach home" was abandoned because all my tiredness disappeared?
Idk whether to- what i dont even- no- how is it possible that the major surge of tiredness I felt just hours ago evaporated into thin air like where did thou go, who did thou transfer thousthself to?

I might have to spend new year's eve hibernating into the new year to make up for the extra sleepless year I had (the 9 months holiday aka what even are mornings and nights)
(the 3 classes a week aka what are weekends and weekdays cant tell the difference)

You know what I should just rename this blog to: Woes of a nocturnal creature
Plot twist- she likes being nocturnal but sometimes it interferes with the other mankinds' ways of lives
Not like she cares

23/12

Anyway had a great day today despite feeling pretty zzzish in the afternoon
(Blame myself for waking up too early- or maybe because I fell asleep at 11am)
But after coffee (im not dependent on it ok it's just placebo effect hahahahah but it works so might as well) I was back up to a hundred.
Did some christmas singing at the flyer today- pretty cool experience!
Helps that my mates are so fun to be around.
By the end of it we were all half dead (I think I absorbed their energies or ok la maybe that is just how I work- start tired and pick up energy throughout the day)
(Idk sori im undefinable even to myself hahaha)
Went for seafood afterwards which was great

Anywayyy heard a song on the radio earlier tonight and got reminded of the fact that Atikah is getting married TOMORROW
Felt like it was just last year when we went on that particular trip to JB to vote for our Jep, karaokeing to stupid songs and having our passports chopped almost every week.
(Lols I think it was just 2 years ago but still!!! We have come so far)
Im excited and nervous idk why hahahaha here's praying that everything goes smoothly for her tomorrow!
Amin2

Missing my choir a little more tonight; being in Harmonix really helps cure the lovesickness (hahahaha what)
Missing papa liew and his torture sessions, my girls and teachers, and the songs we used to pride in singing.
I hope all of them are doing great, honestly want to reunite with every single one of them soon!

K goodnight sweetdreams of ..... golden pumpkins

ps it is christmas eve!

Always, aLWAYS

Oh nooo it's 5am what am I doing
Gonna meet the grablorry gang for a picnic in 5 hours hahaha shiz I need to wake up at like 7 to prep a meal and pack my things
Pretty excited just based on the fact that it's my "fav place" hahahaha plus beach like I require some soul rejuvenation
I should probs take a power nap because I might have a Harmonix sesh at night (might: depends on if grablorry gives up on lepaking before/around 5-7pm)

Ok la actually nevermind that i'm still awake cause phan uploaded their gamingmas video early (I cant tell, time difference is so weird but cool but weird) and I caught it at like 19 mins so im all caught up with regards to them kids.
Me to them all the time: u ok there buddy

Oh yes I actually might have 2 more christmas gigs with harmonix this week, plus one of my good pals (whO IS MY AGE) is getting married this weekend!
It's so weird how fate works, and im so excited for her.
And and it's been a loooong time since we met each other I've missed her a lot!
Insyaallah all goes well!

Actually received bad news from one of my closest friends, and it's weird how the only thing I can give her is indeed the best thing I can give her: love.
You're always the strong one, so I really don't have to tell you to stay strong.
I just hope you remember that you're allowed to falter and be weak sometimes.
That's the only way we can bounce back even harder and get through even stronger.

Here's to a better day ahead!

Emotional aTTACK

I just...
Ugh I was innocently scrolling through my newsfeed on Fb when a rUDE interruption occurred; an article with the title "The undertaker's retirement date revealed"
(or something, idk, I dont want to remember sad things okay)
And the post's caption hURTS MY HEART
Im really sure i've blogged about this before but seeing that article I literally "NoOooOoOooo"ed (im surprised noone came to check on me hahahahaha jk)
Wah I cant even I am definitely not okay probs wont ever be
Ok I shall not think about it now or else i'll end up emoing
For now here's to hoping and wishing (11.11, wishing well, shooting star, you name it) that his retirement match will be against john cena (or Kane because mAn the emotional impact it will leave millions of us- ok probably will be too much to handle but if they can make shawn vs ric flair they can make taker vs kane too)
But best case scenario is he dont even have a retirement match wei he's immortal ok

He totalllllly totally deserves to retire and enjoy life because he has been in the ring for decades and decades man that is insane and I respect his existance I will always be him he will always be me we are one and the same
Ok that was creepy hahahahahah aiseh I rarely get emotional (really? I dont think so) (shut up conscience) (fine) but this is defo something worth wallowing in pity about

Anyway, if your eyes somehow land on this, please spare a prayer for the world.
It is painful to know that somewhere out there people are actually suffering and we cannot even relate one bit because we have been so blessed and sheltered.
It is horrendous that real people out there are actually presently experiencing war, when all we know about war is that it's history.
It sucks to know that there are people out there who have no access to basic necessities- we dont even need to look far, our own neighbours might be one of those people.
It hurts to know that we can only do so much to help easen someone's burden.
But insyaallah if we keep trying and do this together, we can make a difference even if it's just one person.
Pray for the world, please.

On a lighter note, it is christmas week which means a lot of reunions and joy (hopefully!)
Take good care of yourselves and beware of idiots and insensitive people who have nothing for you but negativity.

Up all night as usual

Oh man it has been sometime (by sometime I mean less than 2 weeks hah but it honestly feels like months) since i've stayed awake past 2am
Dont even know if I fell asleep due to my own will or because I was tired or because I had nothing else to do but as of now it is 5.12am, it is raining and I dont think i'll be falling asleep anytime soon.

I've been waking up early consistently though muchas gracias body clock

Anyway I just realised I still havent memorised the lyrics to the song we're performing hahahahha much reliable am I not
Im sure i'll survive so it's ok
Had to miss yol's cousin's wedding which we "booked" the time for since months ago but man, have to skip on it
(Wait why do I keep saying "man" since when do I do it)
(Ok la actually since last time but twice in a post, really)

//edit//
It's 7.27am, I literally fell into a proper sleep for one minute and woke up again hhahahahah thanks a lot
Do I feel slightly tireder?
Idk I cant tell hashtag no self awareness hahahah jk
I will try to nap before I need to get ready zzz
Goodmorningnightmornight

ps aw he's precious but i hate him so much what even is his face

pps jk luv him... and philly ofcuz

Things that have made my 2016

So I thought since I have constantly failed at making a Goodbye (insert year here) post, i'll just make a simpler one; Things that made my year.
Here's a list!

The post A levels break
: Wow. Best thing ever or what? I felt so free and relaxed. I dont even remember what I did but im sure i'd have keepsakes of it everywhere if I looked- diary, fb, instagram, and even on you dear blog!

Saying YES to more weird things
: Hosting a prom, auditioning for a nationwide competition, going for interviews I have no interest or idea about (and successfully getting in), signing up for nonsense, storytelling and being an "assistant teacher" to a group of strangers, you name it, i've done it. Hashtag no regrets only experiences

Dan and Phil: I have been watching them in collabs, and have checked out some of their videos but only this year have I... fell into the deep dark hole of their universe. I regret it so much (the feels they give oh pls) but I cannot imagine life without them hahaha k drama

ENTERING UNI LIFE
: Need I say more? Exciting, and it's not only for myself! It's a big deal even though it does not feel like it,  advancements are always a big deal.

ACTUALLY LEARNING PHILOSOPHY
: Actual dream come true! I'm really happy doing this, despite still feeling a bit zzz when everyone asks what im to do after the degree hahaha but I totally get your curiosity. Still taken aback knowing that some people still do prioritize grades over learning. Aint nothing wrong just... wasted innit? Learning is so beautiful and enjoyable and grades are just not... in line with that concept.

RESTARTING MALAY DANCE
: I've missed it. I've done it. Not sure if it's no longer one of my favourite things or i'm just with the wrong company. Pretty sure it's the latter but eh, things can change.

JOINING AN ACAPELLA GROUP
: One of the best finds in Uni. Reminds me so much of choir and its homeliness. Except with slightly more mature members whom I can share anything with and act like anything with. Like I actually look forward to trainings not even to sing but just so I can spend time with them losers. (Jk luhya guys pls stay cool)

NEW FRIENDS
: Man, man, man. Idk if I ever mentioned this but I love entering new places just because I can make new friends! From everywhere, really, bahas, classmates, clubmates (im like currently in 3 clubs), friends from random events (volunteering, competition, literal random people)

Auditioning for a singing competition
: If you know me you know I cant be bothered with competitions, im too lazy to entertain it. But I went through and lol, actually got to top 51! Which was apparently quite a big deal considering almost a thousand people auditioned but meh, it was still an experience- a cool but pretty uncategorizable experience just because of the emotions roller coaster (jk im just too lazy to explain hahaha will do it when I feel like it)

Some things are more personal, but there are a few changes in my life; in actuality and emotions/thoughts wise which are inevitable as part of growth but just as a reminder for myself, memories will always be there to look back on fondly.
Just be careful not to swim around the past too much or you'll drown.
The present is here.
It deserves some attention.

And I actually completed like 4 (?) of my life's to do list
1) Talk to a stranger and beat my previous timing (The man at the hospital, we spoke for like 4 hours)
2) Host for a random event (Tatyana's prom hahaha)
3) Audition for a nationwide singing competition
4) Busk (technically since I did street singing with Harmonix, it's like busking without the money involved)

I also did some cool volunteering and went on fun adventures so there's that!

Things I hated about 2016

ADULT FARE
: Cant even begin to tell you how much I despise it and how i'll never get used to it. Utterly disguspink. Ew.

Putting the things I love on pause
: I mean it's not necessarily a bad thing but of course it'd have been nice if I continued on these things while chasing other things but ey, gotta take it slow. These are the wrestling classes, actually watching WWE, and my superhero lawaks.

Random thoughts

Wow.
Let us just all take a second to breathe.
After 2 weeks of straight hustling, I can finally take a tiny breather!
Leaving space for flexibility has been an essential part of this December so far because I had to cancel plans (important ones at that) for another one.

Did I even mention that I joined a kids' camp volunteering event?
Because I did!
And it was really fun!
(If you ignore all the unnecessary dabbing- not that it is ever necessary- and messy bottle flipping and kids thinking theyre too cool for the world- it's normal lah huh)
My teammates (and every volunteers there actually) are real gems just saying I could literally walk up to any of them and poof friendly friendship friendness.

//edit//
WOW did I just abandon this post... hahaha man what is this.

Met Alwani for Sushi and bowling on Thurs, I cant even handle the alley at downtown east gosh the balls there sucks talk to my hand man
This is why I stick to the west im pretty sure the calibration is better hahahahaha
The food was amazing though and wild wild wet looks so revamped im proud for nothing

Just got back from sending Khali off at the airport- girl is heading to Korea!
May she have a safe and (very) fun journey insyaallah

I actually am having my first ever acapella gig tomorrow which is quite exciting muehehe we be jingling them bells because Christmas (why am I talking like this I dont know I do not apologize though)

Next week is filled with outings so that's fun because this whole week was all about fulfilling responsibilities and im done with them mueheheh.
(More coming ahead though so strap in for the ride!)

Idk what is worse, knowing that someone is hiding something from you but not being able to find out or being totally ignorant that they're even hiding anything.
I mean it might be an obvious answer to you but as a person who survives a lot on intuition, I think being ignorant is worse.
But then if youre aware but unable to find out that's pretty suckish too so whatevs why am I even talking about this it is 1.28am I should be asleep or something

Last random thought, I hate, hate, hate reading or hearing eulogies, or someone bidding their friend who passed on farewell.
The things they say are just so precious I BET they would've wanted to hear those while they still could.
It's so heartbreaking how these sincere thoughts are only born when the people aren't there to hear or read it.
But I understand lah, why would you out of a sudden show random bouts of appreciation right that's a bit odd
Nevertheless, good things should be made into norms
Hashtag be expressive hashtag nothing to lose hashtag why am i hashtagging im not even hashtagging
K im obviously drunk (not really) (ok fine not at all)
I should go now
Goodnight sweetdreams of walruses

A good day

Hellooo
I am tiredish currently
Today was... a day full of blessings; small and big.
I felt at ease with the universe, I felt good.
I needed the littlest acts of kindness and that's what I got.
I made new friends and reunited with old ones, which are both really exciting!

The day started with me multitasking to the max!
Actually woke up at 3.42am but managed to sleep back till 7 thankfully.
I was facing my laptop, printer and the mirror at the same time- downloading songs, printing photo and getting ready
Thank god mama helped iron my shirt and the makcikpakcik let me take the cab first because they saw I was rushing (was I though ahahais I thought I looked chill)

A cool thing happened anyway I was craving chicken rice but the only shop nearby was an Indian stall so ok lor I bought something else.
Skali when we reached Tatyana's cousin's house, she was like "we will leave at 3pm and go eat chicken rice ok!"
And me, tatyana and wana looked at each other gasping because what are the odds hahahaha
And then I got like a giant currypuff and when I got home and gave it to mama she was like "I wanted this yesterday but couldnt get it"
So twice the food magic today Alhamdulillah!

My eyes are heavy but I got things to settle
No idea if I should sleep first settle tomorrow or settle first then sleep...
With how heavy my eyes are probably sleep first
Ok let's go try sleep
Buenas noches!
Sweetdreams

ps look at these two cuties who have been making my mornings sweet with gamingmas- can we even handle them no we cant

Much description many cringes

Can't believe I haven't blogged!
Had an exciting weekend and then got yesterday and today off before another onslaught of dragtivities ensue.
(Wow much vocab inappropriateness very dont care)
(^ Wth just happened)
(Sory no self control)

Saturday morning kicked off with bahas meeting aka fINALLY REUNITING with shabs and asyraf
Greeted with good food- credits to kak falah as usual, and also discussed tons of plans for the future of akademi bahas which is exciting!
Went off to stadium afterwards for the weird audition and met the fams there.
Made new friends (yay) and unsurprisingly considering the size of singapore, we had quite a number of mutual friends including melly and some bahas friends!
Got through to the next round (tons of competition bluek if u know me u know i hate competitions) but most importantly 1) It was a cool experience 2) Like I said, one stuff struck off my to-do list!
Thing is, the upcoming schedule clashes a lot  with my current one which is funny cause out of all the dates you could've been executed, you chose the date I have like 7 things to do but ok life
Anywhoo got lunchinner afterwards and visited cotton on before I saw the time and ran off to school lulz
Had to grab from botanic because I didnt want to be late but no thanks to the driver for being late, stopping at the wrong place and made me brisk walk unnecessarily, forced me to climb up the stairs twice because he didnt have change- wait why am I even remembering these hahahaha the good thing is I reached safely!

Reached the camp venue around 8.30pm and got greeted by unfamiliar but friendly faces!
I realise that positive energy really attracts other positive energies which was great.
Made lots of fast friends and played an intense puzzle game before we moved off to masjid maarof to sleeeeep.
Despite an antartica of a room, I managed to wake up (as usual another person's alarm who always wakes anyone and everyone up except the alarm setter herself hahahah)
The next morning energy level was 60% all the way but I pummelled through and yess survived the day!
Managed to watch phan before sleep overtook and thus began my hibernation.

Jk, Monday came and the fams decided an impromptu outing so yep out we went!
The thing is I was craving three random things that morning, french toast, fries and playing skateboard (ikr, what even)
Managed to satiate all them weirdness Alhamdulillah (can u believe we entered a shop which sells french toast WITH fries this is seriously boss level synchronicity loljk but for real though)
I literally bought a skateboard after getting to play it for like 10 mins at decathlon (which btw the shop name is so hsm- scholastic decathalon anyone?)
Proceeded on to green milk tea, play in fake snow and finally karaoke.
Fun day indeed but what did i even wear i forgot nvm not important

Today I rejected both offers to go out and my own brain's idea of going out by myself and just lepaked at home.
Will finally be meeting baby izzul and family tomorrow after what feels like so long!!! (Probs less than 2 months? Which technically is long seeing that I have been going there almost every week since the middle of the year)

Ok I actually like writing descriptive posts even though it probs only make sense to me
Chiqa is calling me to eat so buhbye
Have a great midweek please!

Eventful day ahead!

Helloooo!
Currently packing for tomorrow's camp.
Actually still contemplating between a backpack or a handbag but I have to bring a freaking sleeping bag so... huh let's see
Kinda excited for what tomorrow may bring, I have 3 back to back events slash responsibilities slash throwing-myself-in-the-fire sessions and thankfully 2 of those are on the east side of singapore
(Actually havent checked the third but I assume it's in the west although I really hope it's not... oh the travelling)
It will be a day of connecting with old friends and making new ones, and I pray He easens all our affairs!
Amin.

On an exciting note, yo gurl here is actually gonna strike one more thing off her to-do list of life!
A less intense version of a bucket list because that just sounds like you're chasing for time when in actuality it's just things I want to do for fun and to you know, once again throw-myself-into-the-fire (aka no idea why I hyphened those words together but okay hahah)
I hope you too are throwing-you- ok you get the drill but I hope you're doing something new too, really doesnt have to be crazy just literally walk a different path from your bustop to your house; that's new.

I hope I get sufficient rest today-
Oh gosh speaking of rest I am unprepared for the activity which is part of my life's to do list im actually going to audition for something and I AM UNPREPARED but who needs preparation when you have... idk what I have
*sighs in non-disappointment*
But im good man let's just go hashtag yolo
And yes I hope I get sufficient and good sleep tonight because I most definitely need the energy.

As for the final essay I had been putting off, I might just abandon it totally because... idk you just dont understand hahahah.
I also dont understand what's so hard about doing an essay but you know my brain is just reluctant my heart wants it but my brain just ughhh let's not talk about this right now
(I always shock myself though like I wouldnt be surprised if later at 2am I end up completing the essay and laughing because why didnt I do this sooner but also I dont think I will)

Okay I hope you have an amazing weekend ahead!
Bayonara

Sleep paralysis

So I was watching one of Weylie's video where she told the story of her scariest paranormal experience, when someone began knocking on the front door and simultaneously, the internet went down and my fan just stopped.
Hahaha turns out the man was an electrician and he needed to reset something so yeah had to shut off the main power plug
The timing though, so apt.
And yes she was speaking about her sleep paralysis experience and I actually understood her because a few months ago I myself experienced it.
My logical side says it's probably just you know scientific and stuff but while I was experiencing it I cannot deny the spook factor like literally the first thing I thought was "OH is THIS what it feels like to have a ghost lay on top of you" and I was thinking of the photos I saw on fb.

I had a loooong day after an all nighter that day, so obviously that night I was hoping for a good sleep after a literal MONTH of not having proper sleep (literally had 8 hours of sleep per week)
So I was feeling super shagged, but it's the kind of tired which is worse because you just.cant.sleep.
But finally it happened and my phone was dead by this time anyway so whaddheck, I shut my eyes and a few moments (hah more like hours) later I feel asleep.
I was suddenly awakened by this heavy feeling like I was conscious but I couldnt move at all, so I tried to stay calm by talking to myself
Here's what went down in this brain
Me: Oh cool im experiencing sleep paralysis!
Also me: Wait... what if this is the supernatural version
Me: Dont freak yourself out this is just scientific this is normal
(This conversation occured really quickly- my brain works fast surprise2)

Then my eyes started roaming around the room (IM REALLY REALLY unsure if my eyes were ACTUALLY open or I was just mentally looking around) but I saw so many faces of dark, old women around me (like right infront of my face) and they were wailing and shouting (not too loud but it was definitely a shout)
At this point of time I let my logical self go and started reciting some prayers; it was all over soon after but the image of those witches (idek what they are) still is vivid.
I went back to sleep after a few moments of composing myself, but it happened again later that night; same convo in my head, same faces, same duration (it felt like)
I told my mum in the morning and she said she already felt the presence even since last evening so im like "ok so it wasnt the normal sleep paralysis???" but the thought of it having an actual explanation was what made it less scarier (was horrible though when it lasted- felt like i'll never get out of it until someone actually walked into the room and woke me up but thankfully it wasnt that way)
The next night my mum opened Quranic recitations the whole night and thankfully nothing of that sort happened again.

I've always read about people'e experiences but I never thought i'd experience it myself.
Supernatural or not, it was pretty terrifying (im just too logical to panic I guess hahahah perks of being too rational)
I feel like if normal people (yeah because im so abnormal what- aka pardon my choice of words) were to experience this it would make them scared to fall asleep again because it is disturbing as heck.

So yeah now I have a newfound appreciation for sleep paralysis stories, I guess the scariest part is not the ghosts around me but that I couldn't move one bit. I do read on these a lot so I know that you should try to move your fingers or toes to wake yourself up (if you are experiencing actual sleep paralysis and it wasnt a ghost on top of you) but I tried and it didnt happen so I resorted to praying and Alhamdulillah it worked.
I was so relieved when it was over.

Wow, a great topic to start off after a week of absence.

Anyway, HAPPY DECEMBER!
The one week of marking was actually really fun, kinda missing my workmates already.
Makes me really worried about the Malay language though.
We have such a beautiful language but if the younger generation cant even grasp it I- ughhh.
Please let us work together to protect our lovely culture.
Like I wouldn't choose to be born into another race if I could just because I grew up learning about how actually splendid our culture is.
(Not so much in this modern world- the negatives of different cultures are so apparent bluek)
It's the kind of things that you have to be in to know what it actually it
*begins staring into the abyss wondering if the previous sentence made any sense*
It should!

Hahahaha ok why did I even go there all I wanted to say was that I had a fun week and it ended with an impromptu visit to marina barrage watching phan videos in public and laughing non-stop.
I have today and tomorrow to hibernate before a lash of events comes towards me

Anyway did I tell you I havent done 2/3 of my final essays hah procrastination is a real problem people (btw they were due last week meh)
For now i'll learn my lesson and actually DO my assignments next time
Ok my wifi is back so time to post this hehehhe

I survived!

Ok wow.
1.10am, wide awake but super shagged.
We did it!
We survived work, and the emceeing!
I managed to reach home a little before 11.10pm, and immediately (I kid you not I threw my bags on the floor and switched on the laptop) began on my essay.
So as my brain was working pretty smoothly, I went past 500 words really fast!
So ok right, good progress.
But......
A few mins past 11.30pm, microsoft words stopped working and shut itself down.
And the usually-auto-saves at frequent interval decided that it didn't want to save mine at all so literally all I had when I reopened the file was the question.
But I was okay, I felt a bit like- idk how to describe, like a bit disappointed but not really?
I just didn't fret over it lah, what's done is done so I could either 1) emo over it 2) move on so obviously the better option is 2!
But it wasn't that easy, of course.
I had tried (and I rarely do xD) to actually write as much as I can, so having it all gone just like that made me feel something.
I took a few seconds to take deep breaths; zenness is it hahaha and I kept telling myself (the part of me who wanted to begin wallowing in self pity) that it's ok, it doesn't matter, we can pick it up from here, I have a brand new day to look forward to, It. Is. Okay.
And it was okay.
I know it's called the final essay but ultimately it's just another assignment which if you know me you know that I dont do assignments xD
Heh bad habit.
Ok continuing my story!
Now by this point in time, I had less than 20 mins to finish a thousand word essay.
So I did all I could, and ended up with a bullshit, unorganized essay of 500 words (word requirement was 1700 minimum I think, so idk what would happen hahah)
So then at 11.58pm I went to the submission page and was like "ok, ok I have 1 minute) but guess what- submission ends at 11.58:59 and NOT 11.59:59 and needless to say, submission was closed.
Conclusion is, I emailed that not-even-half assed essay to my prof; whatever happens after that is beyond my control so for now i'm good!
(One more essay to complete by negative 2 days ago and i'll be done!)

Work has been fun thus far!
My colleagues are nice, I appreciate it.
Ok I am kinda tired so I shall stop right here.
Goodnight mis amigos

ps phil deserved it so much! and dan too, needless to say pfft they're one and the same

It will be a good day

Great morning, I am currently at the bustop awaiting the 4 wheeled creature
Ok the bus is here
Ok im now sat and comfortable (kinda)
I have a crazy day ahead, with work followed by tatyana's prom (which ends at 11.30) and 2 essays due by 11.59pm- both of which I have not spared a glance at all these while hahahah
Game plan, skip lunch today to finish one, and the other one... i'll do it after the event
Insyallah with his will and my hustle all will be well today!
I've always believed that when you least feel deserving of positivity and kindness, that's when you need to give extra dosage to yourself to boost your spirit
It's as easy as it sounds, and as difficult as it looks.
On some days it means letting yourself rest more or indulge in your favourite things.
On other days it means helping others, giving out the most kindness you can muster for that day, even if it means just a smile to a stranger.
That's what i'm giving myself today.
Extra boost!

Thanks mama for packing us lunch!
I love you mi madre

After weeks of extremely improper sleeping habits and pulling all nighters, I finally got an 8 hour sleep last night (which also meant that I couldn't spend time on my essays but hey, i'd put my wellbeing over anything else and now I feel a lot better)
I think I can manage today- wait no, let's rephrase it to I WILL manage it today, and not only that, I will do it well.
So if you're somehow reading this, no matter if you're from the past or future, spare a prayer for your fellow mankind (not mick foley mankind) and your loved ones.
I hope everyone has an amazing day ahead, just like I plan to!

It's a new day

Firstly how apt is it that this appeared on my fb memories because it fits my current situation.
Sometimes my own reminders just come at the right timing so kudos to you, past self for somehow knowing when I needed what hahahaha

Received quite an exciting news today and we'll see how it goes but in the meanwhile, i'll continue what I do best; go with the flow!

So like 5 hours ago during a nap I got awokened by Anga who just returned from his holiday asking us to go karaoke so im like... "tell me again what a final essay is because idk"
Hahahaha needless to say today was extra unproductive but hey you gotta do what you (dont) gotta do sometimes right right
Right.

Starting my temporary job tomorrow with yol!
Alwani was supposed to join too but things happened booo

Now to me from me please go to sleep

Shortest post this year?

You know when you want yourself to do something but you just wont do it and it's annoying but it's just you
Hahahahahahahahahah
Why am I experiencing this right now I swear there are two goblins in my head going "Yes!" "NO!" at the same time

Night rants as usual

It is 3.21am, just watching some baking videos (I never do them though why cmon let's do it dear self)
(Ok set)
Busy weeks ahead!
I'm excited for life, I hope you are too.
If not, seriously go and find something to do.
Our youth shall not be wasted, our dreams shall not be left unchased.
Every day is a new right for us to step out into the world and leap towards our goals, no matter how small.
Like right now my goal is to complete my first essay, and also get some ice cream!
My eyes are actually heavy but my brain is telling me it actually wants to do the essay right now.
Weird system I have going on here but meh i'll make do.

Eghh I almost went to watch smackdown but I managed to stop myself by saying nO u havent completed ur essay too bad too sad
Like go away, responsible side of my being!
Ok no dont go away I need you to function in the society but dont interfere with my cool badass side ok stay on yo own lane

Is it obvious that I need sleep hahahahahha my sleeping patterns has been less (oh crap I literally paused for 4 seconds trying to stop myself from using the word "snazzy" darn you phan)
Where was I oh yes my sleeping patterns
But im not too worried seeing that I have responsibilities next week till the end of the year (and very possibly after that even)
Which means that my body clock will probably adapt and function like a human again so im good how are you
Hope you are good too

Tomorrow will be the 2nd last day of major lepaking before I begin my hustle!
Which means I have to try and complete all my essays by Monday.

Opportunities keep jumping and I keep going on board

Oh oh btw exciting news
1) Along finally passed his motor license! Now I have 2 on demand drivers hahahaha
2) Anga is currently on a solo trip, I want my solo trip too hahaha
3) Elephant and friends officially graduated from secondary school (aka the best time of my life as of now aka can I go back aka it was the bomb aka please) so like firstly, can kids stop growing too fast im so annoyed and secondly, cONgrafreakinglations yall survived the toughest road in your lives thus far!

ps why did we stop having sleepovers i want another

pps anyone wants to play boardgames for hours and hours on end because i do

ppps it feels so weird to have "homeworks" in November

Uneventful day, but a good morning

Aloha
Actually got a headstart on one of my final essays
Hahahaha I mean for me it's a headstart seeing that I always begin working on assignments on submission days themselves but now is like... 3 days before submission
So it's a surprise ok
Other people are probably halfway through or even done by this time but who cares i'm not them they're not me

I agreed to another weird stuff but then again what's life without weird stuff
Hashtag no regrets
Mama made like bandito pockets earlier on and now I need another because that was in the afternoon and now is like 10pm
(Edit: right after I posted this mama offered to make another hahahaha she reads my mind)

Anyway tomorrow is Farley aqil's birthday this cutiepie is turning 7 nooooOoo kids dont grow so fast please
I wished school didnt have rules for hairstyles (especially against natural haired babies) like why must baby boys trim their hair short let them wear a scarf or tie their hair or something there's literally nothing wrong with that let them be cute and stay cute
But noOoo
They get into trouble because their hair is too long
TOO LONG oh because it will cover their eyes and affect their learning and turn them into gangsters and-
Oh right, regulations.
Hahahaha bullcrap.
Not even gonna dwell about this issue because our society is notorious for focusing on unneeded stuff (keep it up) and punishing kids for nonsense reasons
Meh since it's what we're known for why not continue
(If thou canst tell that was pure sarcasm. Pure)

K bye I need food and I want to continue my essays because I want to watch smackdown
See, Undertaker is a great motivation
Muahahahe

Farriel iqim (so u can finally be googleable)

I remember often babysitting him after school
He turns 8 today.
Crazy because it also means that 8 years of my life has passed since the carefree rebellious season of being in lower secondary.
My baby, my first nephew, Farriel iqim!
May he continue being the sweetest kiddo and a great big brother to his siblings ♡

Soon

Ok I was tumblring when I remembered you!
Where have I been....
Too free hahahaha.
The holidays are upon us!
(Not much of a holiday seeing my schedule but it'll be fun!)
My eyes feel heavy but then again it might just be because I just got done watching 2 SRK movies back to back.....

//edit//
It is wednesday and 2 things;
1) Anga and Elephant turned 25 and 17 yesterday!
2) It's Chiqa's last day of school as a P1 kid!

Anywho with them essays deadlines looming over us, I feel like I have a game plan.
After completing my essays I shall sit in solitary and watch the 900th episode of smackdown
That's the ultimate celebration

I'll shut down all communication

Moral philosophy? DONE (kinda)

Just saw on my instagram explore page that Taker and Edge are returning to the upcoming Smackdown and thus I feel the need to watch it like literally compelled obliged to necessarily mandatory extremely compulsary.
Hahahaha.
Had an interesting day; it was the last moral philosophy lesson and we ended it with... a test!
Yes a test which I obviously tried to ignore until it disappears and turn into just-a-dream but still came to me.
I was laughing throughout because what was I writing idek
After school spent with Vani Sonya and Lynn bonding over dinner and nonsense hashtag what's new.

Class today was about the meaning of life which was interesting but definitely too short!
I had no time for existential crisis though because I was happily
1) Making my notes colourful
2) Snacking with Wardah
I have spoken about Andrew and his cuteness so now meet (hahaha via words) my Moral philosophy professor Preston!
He's gotta be the most... hip (ergh weird description, definitely not accurate but I wont change it cause I cant think of another word)
Very interesting needless to say, like he would randomly have a long pause and not say anything and everyone will look at each other (especially the first few lessons) like "is he okay or...?"
I remember him starting the class on the 2nd week by calling out our names and asking us to share a weird fact/interesting thing about ourselves....
(Guess what I went for.....
No you cant guess because I didnt even know I would say that xD
Hashtag no self-control
I said that I memorize the whole script of HSM2)
He would always announce breaks and end of classes out of nowhere like literally "So this concept can be traced back to the 16th century ok i'll see you next week!"
He's super straightforward and concise, lessons always end early because he's that efficient.
Didnt say much weird things (andrew wins in this department) but very open minded (which is great because moral philosophy is so controversial)
Needless to say, i'd want to attend his classes again!

Oh btw my old blogs didnt give me answers on when my grandad's birthday is and I tried asking mama but she was extra unhelpful!!!
Literally
Me: November or december?
Mama: November lah!
Me: Ok luckily we didnt get it wrong
Mama: Yeah atok birthday is december.
Me: Huh???? December?
Mama: I know it's 6th... November la correct!
Me: Sure ah?
Mama: Should be december
(Repeat above scene x7)
Im not even exaggerating
Hahahahahha I cannot deal with this but I decided to just accept the fact that I am right (even if im wrong)

Ok so tomorrow is officially the last day of school for this sem (APPARENTLY THEY WATCHED KUNG FU PANDA 3 IN CLASS LAST WEEK AKA ONE OF THE BEST MOVIES BECAUSE KUNG FU PANDA)
But i'll still have to go to school for cca hahahahahah it's ok im liking the new choreo so far!
Here's to a good end to the semester.
Goodnight

Intro to philosophy + The birthday dilemma!

3.26am

Today will be the last intro to philosophy class of this sem, (or is it for the whole of uni life since it's gonna be a completed module idek)
I still remember my first day walking into class, arriving exactly at 9.30am and sitting at a peaceful corner.
This seemingly solid routine lasted only two weeks because on the third week something nonsensical happened: SOMEONE TOOK MY SEAT.
I mean come on, you've been through jc/poly/mi whatever you know that we're not assigned seats but excuse yourself, respect the unspoken choppening of seats???
Hahahaha jk im not that possessive but ok this led me to joining the backseat crew (consisting of me, wardah, alwani, jiayun and ... still forgot his name, was it james?) and till today, (more like tomorrow) I have been happily sitting there laughing at the prof's randomness (he literally sang and slightly danced Hi ho from snow white last week)
Weirdly although the words Epistomology and Metaphysics sounds a bit turnoffish in the beginning, I have truly loved learning them (more than ethics hahaha why)
Monday mornings always make us question our whole existence.
(It's like scheduled sessions of existential crises)
Key takeaways?
1) we know nothing
2) we are nothing
3) but cogito ergo sum; we exist, it's ok.
It's not that negative though it's really refreshing and I wished everyone took these basic philosophy classes to remove their jerkness and ignorance and narrow mindedness but then again,
You cant fix stupid.
And by stupid I mean jerks, ignorant, narrow minded people.
Kinda unfair how nice people have to coexist with losers but then again that's life yannow the yin and yang and stuff we need balance.

I'd probably regret not being in dreamland right now but then again there's something about the last-day-of-class vibe that just keeps you awake and alert in class (maybe just me, people are mostly groggy and cant be bothered by the last lesson)
And also i've been having the randomest dreams about the randomest people so that's fun.

Sleptover grandparents' place this weekend and past midnight I realised the date and I was like
Me: it atok's birthday!!
Papa: who?
Me: atok!
Papa: which atok (hahahaha)
Me: the atok outside lah
Papa: are u sure?
Me: ya! (a bit unsure cause why am I the only human who remembers maybe im remembering the wrong date is it today or next month im sure it's 6th though)
Papa: how u know?
Me: I KNOW PEOPLE'S BIRTHDAY (very confident in myself because I do remember birthdays ok)
Papa: ok lets go surprise him
So me, papa and chiqa creeped out of the room covering ourselves with blankets and then blasted the birthday song from youtube!

And then after swimming just now, I took a nap and woke up to chiqa and anga looking through old photos and... they found atok's old IC!
So I checked the date of birth and guess what.... it was put as 6th DECEMBER
*pooooof*
I was like "WhaT???? I've always remembed it as november? Or was it december? Oh no"
And papa went out to ask atok: wait so your birthday is next month?
Atok: huh no it's today
Papa: but your ic says-
Atok: oh that old ic? It's wrong
Im like here doubting my knowledge of his birthday hahahah

Up till now I cant clarify with my memory if atok's birthday is november or december (I know I was so sure but after seeing the ic im REALLY doubting my memory)
(Like right now im trying NOT to think of it because my brain literally cant tell the difference)
(I know atok already clarified but what if he was lying to make us feel better hahahahahah)
(Or he also confused)
Like literally in my brain right now both possibilities looks normal and acceptable idek I shouldnt be having these thoughts at 4am wth

Ok shiz this blogpost is long as heck hahahahah it's ok I like long posts.
Goodnight normal people who are asleep

ps told alwani i'd be on time so i shall hahahahha try and sleep

pps or not

ppps ok u know what 6th dec looks more probable... BUT ughhhh i cant i cant even wHY was my whole childhood a lie

pppps no link to childhood just... memory hath thou failed me or do i not trust u enough (at this time im leaning towards the you-failing-me side)

ppppps u know what im literally gonna stalk all my social media (esp my old blogs) for clues to solve this mystery) i trust u, past self. Give me answers.

If I could sit with 13 youtubers,

(Pretty easy for me!)

Dear,

Michelle phan
Ryan higa
Danisnotonfire
Amazingphil
Hank green
Michael from Vsauce
Joe sugg
Bubzbeauty
Veronica merrell
Vanessa merrell
Dtrix
Troye sivan
Tyler oakley,

Yall be invited.

If I could get ten extra chairs;

Louise pentland (she cannot sit with dan though hahahaha wait actually please make them sit together)
Promise phan
Judy travis
Michael aranda from scishow
Markiplier
Colleen ballinger
Casey ho
Kandee johnson
Weylie
Jason chen

So does this show anything about me?
Nope
Ok maybe
Just dont try to psychoanalyze me ok

ps not my photo, got if off insta and yup it was already edited

Dead-line

I literally hahahah Idk how I work
I have 1hour plus till my assignment's deadline (dateline? I dont even care deadline is a better representation)
And guess what im doing?
Yes!
Anything BUT the assignment
Im like watching baking videos and now im here
Ok bye I will force myself to not do anything else

Hah

I dont know why but I always blog when im supposed to do things hahaha
Priorities
I guess it's nice to sort your thoughts out before doing anything else
But this time ya I told myself to stop touching my phone at 2.30pm
It is exactly 2.30pm so brb

Semester ending boooo

Ok just a pit stop before I attempt to do anything else.
It's the 2nd last week of the semester and it's so sad!
This first semester of uni life has been fantastic, I loved lessons, I enjoyed the profs and classmates, assignments and tests went well, and I had fun.
The timetable is great and I met loads of humans (ahhh if only my whole uni life can be this breezy hahaha it's ok, one can still hope)

Talks about the final essays are beginning and im actually excited slash nervous because
1) Will I do a last minute work again
2) Will I do anyhow again
3) Will I even do it
Hahahah ok number 3 is eliminated duh but for real though noone has the answer for 1 & 2, not even me hashtag major putter offer

Dance trainings resume next week hahahaha guys be ready for another round of complaining (but then again it's for a wedding, the choreo probably wont be that bad so im foreseeing a manageable and fun session ahead)
Harmonix training resumes in December so all is good
Talking bout December my December is PACKED!
I got shocked seeing my calendar hahahaha girl whatever did you sign up for
Yo no sé!

Ok I plan to be-
Wait scrap that.
I WILL be productive tonight and start on my chinese essay
(In which "start" means choose a question hahahahah ok no jk)
(I think that will happen)
(Please no future self)

Oh ya so I did a presentation for criwri, was unprepared (I dont even remember what I wrote in my essay- yup the one I took so long to start on) so I bulled the whole time but apparently it was "enjoyable" (yeah right I had a hard time pronouncing Utilitarianism so many times in one go hahah)

Ok bai have a great wednesday

ps finally a wednesday afternoon at home hahahahaha just for a month probably

It happened

We did it!
Was kinda a flop on my part but we had fun hahahaha
My fav part was jamming to HSM in the dressing room
Me and sha were caught off guard by how equally tiring it was on the small stage compared to our larger training space hahahaha must be because we actually tried to put in effort this time round?
I was turning by myself and my fan dropped towards the end so needless to say the graceful butterfly has lost a wing BUT she regained it ah hahaha so ok boss can good job
Didnt get the post-show high and im very sure it's because too tired liao like I didnt even hear the audience's applause (or maybe I did but ignore because zzzz I need to sit somewhere)

Still, thank you to the seniors for making this a smooth journey, they have been such a great help (plus them cookies are LIT I need the recipe someone help)
(Lol what is whatsapp for literally can ask there but nah nevermind talk to my hand)
And thank you thank you thank you to my grablorry gang for making my comeback a lot more bearable and fun!
Im gonna miss complaining with yall, but I wont miss practices ah hahahaha but I will miss the choreo (aiya I will always end up dancing it somehow somewhere, always happens)
And thank you blog for being here to witness my complains ehehehe this is literally the only place I rant at so im definitely entitled lalala

Met elephant and chiqa (wHO ONLY LEFT HOME AFTER I FINISHED PERFORMING) and they stayed for the night performance while I grabbed home
I couldnt see myself sitting in the crowd once again nopitty nope nah thanks.
I made a mistake of taking a nap right as I reached home....
Now it's 1.46am and I need/want to sleep!
Planning to watch the ghost movies at school tomorrow with Alwani muehehe.
Maybe i'd even end up catching the spooky week video tonight.
Loved yesterday's one (did I mention this I forgot pretty sure I did)
Morning class on Ethics and then I think.... I think I have a presentation tomorrow HAHAHAH I mean I have the slides but no script so i'll do what I doa best; anyhow shoot je

Anyway shoutout to ms green tea aka eatgo aka my hardy sister for coming from your jemputan (although you missed both mine and INK's performance hahahah tkpe it's the thought that count)
Luhya soul sista

And that concludes my muara journey for this year!
Im probably giving rentak budaya a miss, Harmonix wait for me!
Have another upcoming performance in December before I give my dance career a break (again)

Have a great week ahead!

Showday!

Gooood morning!
It's finally showday hahahha after weeks of complaining and going home late
Calltime is super early pls, 8.30am!
Thankfully I live nearby ha ha if not imma reach at 3pm
(Exaggeration alert)
Managed a 3hr sleep and now I have to pack my things
Ok I should really scurry now, half hour before my "Have a smashing day" aka Get out alarm rings
Have a great Sunday yooo

ps today's spooky week video actually gave me jumpscares haahahah even outlast 2 didnt scare me ok but this wow great

Tuuuuuesday

Currently wasting time idky not like im early for school hahaha

Yesterday was a great start to the week; fun lessons, fun break! (selfie session)
Got to leave class early with cherms zae and alwani
We walked out waving to everyone else who were stuck in class looking confused that we left in the middle of class and the cute prof just waved excitedly back

Spent after school with icecream and alwani (ice cream is not a code name btw it's literally ice cream)
Mcdonald's disappointed us for the 2nd time now with their "no icecream" shizzles, walao step up yo game bro
Headed to "start on our assignment" (well, she did) and then ended up watching WWE hahhahha big show
Energy level felt amazing afterwards, no idea why, probably just me (or was it the lethal combination of icecream and wwe? we'll never know)
But I loved it!
(obvi in the middle of training im like zzzz) but once it ended I was back at it again
I actually love going home time with the grablorry and sha!
Reached home after midnight aiseh whats new

Muara this sunday and after that im freer!
And and our assignment due date has been extended.
Thank god, like I said I was expecting a busy week but this just made my week 490% less busier hahahah
Ok I should really get ready for school im late hahahhaha
Have an amazing day ahead

ps dear mcd, *refer to picture*

Hibernation

Aloha!
I've had a very, very lepak weekend.
Ended the week with Halloween horror nights and reached home at 7am.
It was really something; though would've been better if they let smaller groups in each time lol luckily for us, we somehow always ended up either first or last so no middle men syndrome (hahahaha no such syndrome)

I loved the Salem witch house's decors, so elaborate, I felt like I was in The Crucible (pretty sure that was john proctor and abigail williams we saw- No tituba though booo)
The clowns in the Bodyworks were amazing, that change of mood from haunted-house-scary to a carnival-scary was great!
Old changi hospital was interesting, I was shocked at the mortuary bit because unexpected ghost alert.
The chinese themed and hawker centre was also impressive!
Loved the mechanical bits and the very detailed decorations.
The circus performance was UGHHHwow because
1) The clown kept making puns I wanted him to get out
2) The dancers were amazing!

Was supposed to follow mama to a wedding today.
My weekends are now like rejuvenating times to make up for all the sleepless weeknights hahah.
Dont really like this system though, should probably get on top of my sleeping schedule, at least till the semester ends!

Anyway I should totally be at istana budaya now catching Mahaguru spontan.
I mean come on, Jozan, Dato siti, AND spontan?
The show was literally made for me!
If only they had included Jep (but then it'd probably be dangerous to the crowd they'll laugh their heads off)

I have two assignments due this upcoming week but as usual, as an experienced putter offer, doesnt matter how much free time I have, I will start only hours (even minutes if the work is chiongable) before due time.
But now that I have the rest of my Sunday free I plan to get a headstart on my work.
I anticipate a tiring but exciting week ahead so let's do this!

Thursday night

Life update: yup still havent done my essay but an exciting day ahead because
1) essay due date (which is weird because i havent done it but the thought of it being over after tomorrow is just yAy)
2) HHN6 with north pole (finally happening after literal years of wanting to)

And I realise how much I enjoy grocery shopping late at night because it's so peaceful and you know walking down the cold, cold aisle and listening to music while debating if you really need that thing is just a great feeling.

Went karaoke earlier on and had a mini cake-searching adventure with Shammy lopez heheh.
Cut the cake for Along and Chiqa's birthday and she was so excited to see her name on the tv!

Ok hopefully all of you have an amazing day ahead because I plan to have a good one.

Just a dilemma if I should sleep first and chiong my essay tomorrow morning or do it now and be able to wake up later tomorrow?
Meh the answer is right in front of my face *coughs* nocturnal creature but options are unlimited okay
Goodnight sweetdreams!

Me right now

Idk why it's so hard to do the assignment hahahaha
Actually planned to just do what I do best and bullshiz something but then I found out the person who will be presenting right before me has the EXACT. SAME. TOPIC

So now im in an unneeded dilemma between continuing what I had skeletonised weeks ago (........halloween? nope bad cover) OR to come up with a new topic altogether.
Ok la I dont mind the writing part (actually really enjoy it) but I mind the citation part a LOT like why waste my time like that you evil entity
Hahahahahaha
*cries*

ok you know what I have dance in 3 hours I should Nike and just do it right and then go to school and then submit the assignment and then forget about it forever and ever
But.... *REFER TO PHOTO ATTACHED*

Haiseh

Goldberg's return!

Something about listening to Goldberg's promo stirs this long-neutralised feelings in me.
I actually have neglected updates about WWE for quite some time, because I just hated everything; the wrestlers, the match bookings, the promos and storylines.
Nothing was attractive, nothing made an impact on me, nothing made me want to drop everything and run from my room to the television everytime I hear just one familiar voice.
Nothing made me want to watch PPVs, or have interest in the amazing women's revolution (I have always wanted to see it come true but now it has and im... not into it)
Nothing made me feel like I missed out on anything.
All I do is rewatch old videos (while trying not to be emo) and check for updates once in while.
But it has been some time since I actually sat in front of the screen and sit through a whole Raw or smackdown or even a PPV.

But hearing him cut that kickass promo reminds me that the good old days, could possibly still appear once in a while.
Good old days might come again and good old days, will happen even if it's once in a while.
And i'll give it a chance.

I wouldnt say i've grown out of it (like everyone else says)
I'll blame it on the things I stated above; the lack of charisma, anticipation and just high energy everything.
It's still a place I visit all the time because whatever happens, and how sucky it gets sometimes, WWE will always be a part of me.
Always.
Always.

And I anticipate days like today when someone comes, sprinkle his or her magic dusts and brings this hopeful person back alive and excited.

Zac efron's 29?!

To my 2nd husband,

Happy 29th birthday cutie.
Stay gold soul, and beautiful always.
So precious this one I cannot even handle.

"Im gonna fight to find myself, me and noone else."

Complainable

Critical writing is such a loser.
Maybe if I ignore it long enough it will swallow itself into the abyss and cease to exist and just go away because nO.
Not now not ever

Lol an app just advised me to "take a pretty selfie to brighten up your gloomy monday" hahahah nevermind my monday wasnt gloomy thankfully.
It's baby chiqa's 7th birthday! ♡
The universe conspired to give her a holiday which is great muehehe.

Have a good night

ps chiqa is the cutest thing ever eVER

Completion of this week's to-do list

11.37pm
Just submitted the Metaphysics test omg.
This test a bit scary because I have all these ideas which are quite hard to put in words.
Can exams progress to the point where we are put in brain scanners and you just think of the answer the the scanner picks it up and-
Ah humankind would need to advance further than this to make it happen hahaha.
But then again when humankind advances there's probably no need at all for exams.
Ok I plan to sleep decently tonight
Let's see

9.17am

Currently in the room alone.
Kids went swimming while the parents just left for the mall
IM A KID TOO but too lazy to move ah hahaha.
We'll see

ps truly wished we could stay longerrrr but work (dont care bout school hahaha self declared holiday always)

Emotional night + Dance photos!

Spent the night watching dil hai tumhara after bringing it up to Alwani just now, and I regret everything hahaha
1) The emotional roller coaster was too much, too much I tell you. I'll never get used to it even after watching it a thousand times.
2) Im boarding a ferry in 4 hours time and sleep hasnt visited yet

But now that I think about it I actually regret nothing, hais truly food for the soul.

Oh yes spent the day loitering with Alwani at esplanade and we took like 7 minutes to find each other hahahaha I would post a screenshot of our message but mobile blogger is always too messy.

And the performance went well, it was a friendly crowd!
The food afterwards was good too, but the company made it fun.
Here's some random photos!

Need to adjust my accent already,
BENG-BENG IM COMING FOR YOU MY BESTFRIENDS

ps why is mama waking everyone up now it's so earlyyyyy (not that im sleeping) but it's good because elephant will take FOREVER to get ready

Changes we dread

One of life's biggest irony is that we crave changes as much as we despise it.
We would do anything to remain stagnant no matter how much idealistic changes we want.
Familiarity is a beautiful thing but sometimes it gets addictive and dangerous.
It's just weird.

Subjective and unpopular opinion: Being judgemental

//At first this post was going to take a different approach.
It was going to be about how people should not lash out their negativities upon others, aka the joykills (oh no I teased John about this word for so long I forgot if it is joykill or killjoy)
But then I gave it a rest before typing it out and my brain apparently changed completely.//

I've learnt in Secondary school to not be a judgemental human being because of two important reasons
1) Seeing the people around me get judged mercilessly without people knowing what's really going on in their lives
2) I've been crazy misunderstood so many times because I was too lazy (cant be bothered, really) to explain things after people already established a judgement (because you know sometimes it's not worth the effort, especially over petty things and if the person themselves refuse to escape their world of narrow mindedness)

Just a few days ago I was ranting about someone to a group of friends and immediately I felt bad, and I liked that I did.
I have progressed to the point where even talking behind someone's back (unless I really know that person and their malice hahaha jk) makes me feel uneasy.

You have noooo idea how many weird things happened in my life and how many easy judgements are passed but I don't care really, I mean people's thoughts cannot touch the truth.
People may think you're an Elephant but innately as long as you know you're not, why bother to retaliate.

By not judging, it's way easier to deal with the bullcrap some people give us.
Just think of it as they're having a bad day or something, even if their bad days are permanent.
Like you know how if someone is angry, the best way to deal is to stay chill because eventually the episode will be over and they will look back and feel stupid for being so mad at something that is (usually) already over.
I have found that the best (although not the easiest) way to deal with these negative feelings is by giving ourselves time.
(not necessarily negative feelings, just that they are likely to lead us into doing things we would possibly regret)

There was once my friend was being so annoyingly provocative throughout a certain conversation and the icing on the cake came when she sent what seemed like a problem-inducing message.
All I wanted to do was to put it in her face how wrong she was this whole time and how much she was acting like a biatch but I decided to give myself a break (ayy demi reference)
Few hours later after not thinking about the issue at all, I reread her messages and realise that i'm reading it in a less-attacking tone.
It sounded more neutral in my head now that it did a few hours ago

Etc
Message: What's your problem?

How it sounded like a few hours ago: WHAT THE HECK IS YOUR PROBLEM

How it sounds now: What's your issue regarding it?

And I know she means the first interpretation but if I had given in to that, we would've been in a more precarious position so I decide to conveniently misread her text as a friendly one and what happened afterwards?
All was good.
No idea if she ever did figure out that she was acting over but it's solved and that's what matters.

It's important to always be kind because really, the bigger person will always feel less regret.

There's this girl I just met who seems to always be so grumpy and moody.
Yesterday she was extra fussy so I did what I could to not add on to her burdens.
I overheard her saying afterwards that she was in a bad mood.
Makes me wonder if a) she's doing fine and b) if I could have done something, anything at all to make her day a bit better.
But alas, sometimes ideal things are unreachable.
For now I can only pray and hope she's doing better than I last saw her.

And that goes to everyone out there too.
Be a nice human being please.
I have avoided drama the past 5 years of my life and the peace that comes with it is worth SO much more than the exciting feeling of being involved in a drama.

Sending positive vibes and smiles your way,
Me!

First performance upcoming!

Aloha hola mis amighosts!
I have a performance in a few hours time but im literally still lazing around whyyyy
But why not
Hahahha
Im supposed to leave home before 5pm so I can still laze for an hour more right...
(Not really but im gonna keep convincing myself otherwise ehehe)
Yes this will be my first tarian performance after 3 years of absence i'll update how it goes muehehe

And this weekend is filled with a plethora of assignments and tests (not really, just one essay and one open book test hahahahah drama)
As the semester comes to an end I find it harder and harder to do my readings hahahaha is this a common struggle or what?
And no way am I going to touch any work while im on a getaway so tomorrow will be homework-spam day yay! (Not)

I used the phrase not really twice what does this mean im a changed person
Hahahahah ok why am I extra dramatic today but it's good i'd need the extra energy after the weekly torture session yesterday.

Goodluck to Beztari for our first performance together and.... let's all try to be on time (message specifically directed to myself)

Have an amazing day ahead