//At first this post was going to take a different approach.
It was going to be about how people should not lash out their negativities upon others, aka the joykills (oh no I teased John about this word for so long I forgot if it is joykill or killjoy)
But then I gave it a rest before typing it out and my brain apparently changed completely.//
I've learnt in Secondary school to not be a judgemental human being because of two important reasons
1) Seeing the people around me get judged mercilessly without people knowing what's really going on in their lives
2) I've been crazy misunderstood so many times because I was too lazy (cant be bothered, really) to explain things after people already established a judgement (because you know sometimes it's not worth the effort, especially over petty things and if the person themselves refuse to escape their world of narrow mindedness)
Just a few days ago I was ranting about someone to a group of friends and immediately I felt bad, and I liked that I did.
I have progressed to the point where even talking behind someone's back (unless I really know that person and their malice hahaha jk) makes me feel uneasy.
You have noooo idea how many weird things happened in my life and how many easy judgements are passed but I don't care really, I mean people's thoughts cannot touch the truth.
People may think you're an Elephant but innately as long as you know you're not, why bother to retaliate.
By not judging, it's way easier to deal with the bullcrap some people give us.
Just think of it as they're having a bad day or something, even if their bad days are permanent.
Like you know how if someone is angry, the best way to deal is to stay chill because eventually the episode will be over and they will look back and feel stupid for being so mad at something that is (usually) already over.
I have found that the best (although not the easiest) way to deal with these negative feelings is by giving ourselves time.
(not necessarily negative feelings, just that they are likely to lead us into doing things we would possibly regret)
There was once my friend was being so annoyingly provocative throughout a certain conversation and the icing on the cake came when she sent what seemed like a problem-inducing message.
All I wanted to do was to put it in her face how wrong she was this whole time and how much she was acting like a biatch but I decided to give myself a break (ayy demi reference)
Few hours later after not thinking about the issue at all, I reread her messages and realise that i'm reading it in a less-attacking tone.
It sounded more neutral in my head now that it did a few hours ago
Etc
Message: What's your problem?
How it sounded like a few hours ago: WHAT THE HECK IS YOUR PROBLEM
How it sounds now: What's your issue regarding it?
And I know she means the first interpretation but if I had given in to that, we would've been in a more precarious position so I decide to conveniently misread her text as a friendly one and what happened afterwards?
All was good.
No idea if she ever did figure out that she was acting over but it's solved and that's what matters.
It's important to always be kind because really, the bigger person will always feel less regret.
There's this girl I just met who seems to always be so grumpy and moody.
Yesterday she was extra fussy so I did what I could to not add on to her burdens.
I overheard her saying afterwards that she was in a bad mood.
Makes me wonder if a) she's doing fine and b) if I could have done something, anything at all to make her day a bit better.
But alas, sometimes ideal things are unreachable.
For now I can only pray and hope she's doing better than I last saw her.
And that goes to everyone out there too.
Be a nice human being please.
I have avoided drama the past 5 years of my life and the peace that comes with it is worth SO much more than the exciting feeling of being involved in a drama.
Sending positive vibes and smiles your way,
Me!