20.38pm

Slept 5 hours past my sleepy time aka new bedtime aka 9pm but still woke up at like 6

Morning birdie 

Ended up sleeping over bestoe's house cause of course her ibu and ayah was like U dont go back late just sleep here

Had a lovely time karaokeing for 5 hours, watching bad indonesian horror movies which actually WERENT THAT BAD surprisingly wew

And of course doing nothing together

She even cooked breakfast for dinner lol 

Thankfully got a grab home alhamdulillah so now im crashed back home

My bedtime is soon 

08.51am

Ohayo 

Third night getting 7 hours of sleep

I guess body clock shifting again

No wonder I was so sleepy during last night's shoot lol that is not okay

But yay @ mornings!

+==edit==+

11.27am

Yo sis wanted to go out but so lazy to get ready and then it just started raining

Lol okay fine

(Right after i typed ^ THE RAIN STOPPED?!)

Cmon no give me mixed signals

Okay it's back 

Hahaha I shall just eat nuggets for brunch and be happy

07.20am

Ay buenos dias

I think I got almost 9 hours of sleep, despite waking up every 2 hours 

Got up at 6 for coffee and breakfast

Im on track for a hiking morning but we all know what happened the last time I went hiking lol ok fake news no trauma here

Anyway

I have a shoot at 6pm later hahhaa tis my new fav part time job

Should I go out im very tempted to 

Ok let me just check forecast

I think 30% probability of me going out

+==edit==+

11.12am

So far im just having fun at home

Anyway cant imagine the pressure steph and hhh must be feeling right now taking over their dad

Everyone has such high hopes and expectations eek

+==edit==+

12.46pm

Kinda need to go karaoke and scream Remember december

13.58pm

After a super hibernaty day yesterday, im so fresh today I cant believe it's not even 2pm yet 

Macs breakfast, Reyrey's 20th year in WWE (why is he SO CUTE I love) and...

Happy blessed 73rd birthday to my cute nenek ♡

Love you with all my heart and soul, thank you for all youve done and is continuing to do cause you're a badass trooper like that

May Allah keep you in health, wealth and lots of love and light hehe and lots of energy cause you must tolerate more upcoming cicits!!!

Had the best. weekend.

Alhamdulillah

Though I did waste 15$ to travel for revonix on Saturday morning (cause end up the whole club performed so didnt need me anyway pfft)

But whatever that was quickly forgotten once I made my way to parkway parade

Went gift shopping while being very exhausted (i was ready to nap in the tent along and anga pitched at 9am) but once I reached, pak yus' family was there so of course no sleep for me lol 

Hid inside my tent (!!!! cleaning it up is a total hassle but yay at me finally owning my own tent im so happy and excited and yay) and blew balloons that I didnt even use hahaha but it's ok the kids loved playing with it

Followed anga to fetch mama ele and nenek before going back to east coast where more people arrived

Our dreams came true to create a neighbourhood of tents- we had 6 tents in a circle and a barbeque pit to ourselves

Played monkey ball in the sea- our fav game, really

Did a gender reveal and saw people cry tears of joy

Played games

Tried to nap at 6am

Jumped into the sea at 730am and stayed in there until 3pm

Exhaustedly packed and alhamdulillah, everything went well

I had a blast and want to do it again (as do all of us hahahaa)

Alfie and Ayden together is a dream 

Eating BBQ food under the sunshine and wind all whilst wet from taking a swimming break is probably one of life's best feelings

I even took a nap while waiting for lunch, and after changing cause it suddenly started raining heavily

It was only a 15 mins nap or less but I felt like we slept for so long it was so cozy oh my gosh

The whole time it was so windy and sunny, with short rain breaks which we didnt mind at all (only that it made clean up slower and messier but whatever)

Ok I cant rave enough

Thank you everyone for making it happen

I love my family!!!!!!! 

04.27am

Who knew the way for me to finally get 7 hours of uninterrupted sleep was weeks of sleepless nights and then 8 straight hours of swimming in the ocean

20.19am

Tired, actually sleepy, but no surprises that I dont just get to crash as soon as my head hits the pillow

01.38am

People who don't fight for their worth to be seen, 

You win at life, I promise.

+==edit==+

02.51am

Such a consistently non sleeper that an hour ago I was too tired so I decided to just sleep with makeup on cause i'll wake up in an hour or two for no reason anyway 

Here we are barely an hour ago I was in deep REM sleep please but woke up twice already ahaha 

Gotta finish packing and be up in 5 hours

And then I have to perform a song in 7 hours followed by a family camp slash yet another sleepless night over the weekend

Excited, exhausted, and pushing myself through it cause good job train for world tours lets go

+==edit==+

06.31am

Dang it my alarm is gonna ring in an hour and i cant fall asleep 

Another performance with no sleep looks like

02.46am

Ok why did I for any semblance of seconds thought I would get good or any rest tonight 

Ahahaha 

+==edit==+

03.05am

My weekend was not updated here but

Sat: Went hiking with yol after 2 sleepless nights (I got a 20 mins nap though) and walked the totally opposite direction from our intention but it's ok cause there are no accidents (master oogway)

We both felt the pain at the same time (8km mark, which is so weird to me cause I never get tired walking long distance, ever) (but also the answer revealed itself to me: my period came while I was walking thankful for spidey senses but yes it explains the double exhaustion) and so we called it quits at bukit merah 

Took the first bus to anywhere (after stubbornly trying to fight traffic) and ended up at plaza sing where we had kfc for breakfast! 

And then this toyol went shopping and my tiredness just got worse so she kindly booked us a grab to her place where I crashed for 2 hours 

Woke up and watched Kaithi and Vikram (I kept falling asleep and waking up even after eating dinner and my whole body was aching like crazy) 

Got a grab home at 11.15pm just to find out my whole family was at the BEACH pfft shouldve stayed longer but grab was rarely low demand and yol was dying (not a night owl) 

Got home and basically crashed, woke up in the morning but crashed again

Got woken up by Wona for rehearsearl (FIRST TIME EVER) and like I said, will only get up for that 

Before that Chiqatito wanted to treat us corndogs so we went to gr.id for that and then walked to SMU

Of course, rehearsearl recharges me!!!

We had corndog together and sang and sang and then had dinner where they all claimed wona's kway teow was spicy but not even pfft hahahahaha

And then headed to NTU on a Monday morning for convocation gig rehearsal, im covering someone's part and like I have never heard the song prior to this but alhamdulillah I should be great to go 

It was stated to be 10am-4pm but it ended at noon, and I was so excited to go home and continue resting BUT suddenly got cherie session (my first in 2.5 years!!!) so we had to stay till 6.30pm

I literally napped for 3 hours in a lecture theatre and woke up feeling still tired but survivable

Thankfully miss chai sent me home cause I was wondering how I was gonna crawl home in that state D:

Got 6 hours of sleep that night

Tuesday I did nothing, woke up real early and got breakfast

Feeling much better than Monday

So today is the gig, I have to be in school at 8.30am

Do you know how ridiculous 8.30am is at NTU

How did I make it to 2 8.30am classes (I mean literally 2 classes, out of like 12- and only because they were tests HAHAHAHA) 

(Ok the answer is grab)

Trying not to grab later but if my body wants abit of rest I wont resist

Im just excited to play with makeup

Also I had so many gigs in my time with NTU that it was easy to take for granted (especially the 2? 3? /see i dont even remember/ convocation gigs ive done)

So this is a very welcomed comeback opportunity

Wished I was with earl hehehe

Ok would be amazing if I could fall asleep by 4 to get my 2 hours power nap 

If not... it's ok la huh this is just how we are 

+==edit==+

04.12am

I see this is how it's going to be 

Lolol OK I want a snack hmph I do have snacks which is great but I also want iced coffee oh ya coffee nap would be good I guess ok 

+==edit==+

06.07am

It's official I have failed in my resting attempt

My alarm will ring in exactly 10 minutes I cant even script this if I tried (yes i could)

Ughhh how... do i just get ready now and take public transport or still attempt to nap that is impossible ok fine

+==edit==+

23.34pm

Finally lying down after like 16 hours of up and running

Today went well I guess

Only felt tired at 10pm and actually napped for 10 mins in macs while mama ate dinner lol 

My eyes are so heavy 

06.32am

Genuinely sad

My brain is like It's ok let it go we are fine it's done

Which is true

But I AM still SAD, almost 15 years of record wiped out from my access- even my video recommedations are skewed now

I dont want to think about it but I use youtube so often and everytime I open the app I get reminded

Not to mention google is so rich but dont have manpower and avenue for this so bodoh when I know they obviously have the records still 

Cries why you so mean to me world when i was just trying to be nice 

+==edit==+

06.41am

The universe way of supporting me is recommending zen buddhism art of letting things happen videos pfft I also know

Not helping

+==edit==+

07.47am

Times like these im glad my nihilistic side is accessible

21.30pm

Ohayo 

I was like what day is it how many days of blogging did I miss

Have been so exhausted but better

Got a 3 hours nap in a lecture theatre after a last minute gig rehearsal just now

Now trying not to fall asleep waiting for miss chai 

Today I was going to buy kfc for lunch but my card/the self checkout machine didnt work so I gave up after 3 tries and went to macs

Which turned out to be the best decision cause I got a double mcspicy meal for 4.50$!!!!!

So needless to say I have half a mcspicy (technically an entire mcspicy without the top bun) waiting for me to consume for dinner or supper idk

Realised it's been more than 2 years since I had a cherie session, and an NTU gig 

So funny to see the kids stressing over nonsense but ok as long as you dont drag me into it I am just staying in my lane and trying not to fall asleep

This lt was so cold in the afternoon but now so hot why do I still have my jacket on

K bye

+==edit==+

23.07pm

Please I was just about to be happy that i got a ride home and finally able to crash

And then I found out my youtube search history is gone

I really really really hope it's only a glitch or a bug cause my heart is in pain

Im such a nostalgic person slash memory keeper (why else would I keep a blog for over a decade) and so any loss of memory (like pheed, you betrayed me!!!) is such a knife to the heart

Nothing google says is working 

I dont want to be sad on top of this exhaustion

I can barely open my eyes right now but im also hungry so im gonna finish my mcspicy and hopefully crash so i dont have to feel sad 

Hoping for a miracle. 

01.27am

Felt nice to go out hiking after so long

But my body is shocked

And period just came

And of course I havent slept 

Wore nonsense shoes

So now im facing repercussions hahahaha funnY

So yes my entire back and legs hurt

Thankfully my arm pains from doing acrobats stopped hurting

Hehehe 

+==edit==+

07.47am

Alhamdulillah I got about 6 hours of sleep or should I say crash session lol

+==edit=÷+

14.29pm

Just exhaustion

Will only get up for rehearsearl but right now strugglin lol even ele is getting ready before me which never happens

06.48am

For a second I had an existential crisis like why is noone awake when it's barely 2am 

It is indeed almost 7am

Okay today im going out

Yesterday I didnt 

Lol k bye 

+==edit==+

07.39am

Okay so the dilemma is, it's too early for glam but my midday self is glam

My morning self is one with nature hike and only skincare and sunscreen and shoes

And my rest of the day self loves being in makeup and slippers

But it is both impractical to bring things out, and to go home and change

So u see my dilemma (ehehe bonus point if you know where this quote is from)

Anyway I have showered and had iced coffee but instead of changing to my hiking outfit I just put on my pyjamas again cause you know what coffee naps work well with me poor body is conflicted to wake up or to rest but you got this

But also every night at 3am like some sort of spell I feel like doing acrobats and then im like Okay tomorrow morning we do it 

And then when morning comes I dont 

HAHAHAH 

Um ok I shall just see what I feel like doing and then do it

I actually laid out an outfit for the day knowing very well 1) Not my size 2) Impractical choice for the weather 3) Not the most comfortable

But it looks so cute and beauty is pain so 

02.28am

Seandainya ada lagi cinta dihati ini, akan kubenamkan serpihannya, selamanya 

If there was still an inkling of love remained in my heart, I will sink the remaining fragments, buried deeper within me forever

+==edit==+

06.18am

Yesterday I fell asleep at 9am and okay guess it makes sense cause I napped from 10pm-12am

But I didnt nap today yet and if somehow im not sleepy again by 730am, im bringing myself out okaY for fresh air and breakfast let's do it

+==edit==+

07.29am

Honestly though I appreciate that sleep is important and I love how recharged it makes you sometimes but I still dont really like it???

The process of falling asleep, the BEING asleep (aka wasting hours and hours of my day) and the waking up not even remembering how I fell asleep

The only fun part is the fun dreams I get and the not having to think and be conscious 

And of course the rest my physical body needs and gets 

But otherwise??? Sis I do not enjoy it and never have and can never relate to humans who loves sleeping (like I understand but I could never)

Also yes it's 730 and I did get up but dont have the motivation to get ready so I might just you know go out later instead

Love mornings though

+==edit==+

07.48am

Just ate two chocochips cookies and sippin on iced coffee and ive always wanted to do gymnastics as a child but never got the chance/time to

I dont think it's ever too late to pick up acrobats I want to do aerial stunts okay 

My body will be so in shock but ok we want to be reyrey a high flyer we gotta 

Spoiler alert: since i stopped dancing for 3 years during my formative years in MI, i literally cant even touch my toes it's appaling how nonsensical 

Shows how important consistency is cus all the 13 years of work before that got wiped out just by 3 years of non-movements

!!!!!! 

K bye lemme enjoy iced coffee and escape the night

+==edit==+

12.33pm

Worst night of unsleep yet but good thing is im awake more

+==edit==+

17.39pm

How I managed to not leave the home is astounding

00.42am

I cringe so hard when someone says they bought something from Shein

Dont support such companies???

Actually it was since the whole prayer mat/swastika/stealing designs incidents I judge people so hard 

And then the whole fast fashion + cheap labour 

The most I understand is the plus size cus so hard to find affordable AND NICE things

But others???? Find somewhere else????

I hate

I literally just woke up from a 2 hours nap so idk why im blogging lol

+==edit==+

08.36am

!! So is it time for iced coffee

+==edit==+

22.44pm

I thought I blogged about it but last night I suddenly craved peanut butter and suddenly peanut mnms appeared in my fridge??

And then this afternoon there was an entire fresh new jar of peanut butter in the KITCHEN

Istg it's magic 

21.48pm

A day of doing nothing much except watch Escape the night 

05.36am

My eyes were so tired at 10.30pm

Mak yah was like confirm u go back wont sleep 

Night owls recognizes each other lol cus so true

Growing up when I sleepover with her to accompany her while abah man works in the night, we would both be up doing our own things until subuh 

Lolol it's in the genes and No ex employee I cannot try harder to change my habits pfft 

Salam Aidiladha (04.36am)

Heart is quite full

Had a long day

I love Hari raya and Harmonix 

Selamat hari raya aidiladha!!!! 

Looking forward to family and food

Basically ive been up more than 24 hours but as usual as soon as my head hits the pillow it's like Yay wake up 

It's okay

My body hurts from sitting for prolonged periods today- first is 7 hours at VOS, and then 4 hours champs, and then 3 hours supper with hmx 

05.51am

It's champs day

I gotta be up at 8 but of course cant sleep

Hopinggg for a power nap but at the freshness of my brain i'll probably feel sleepy at 730am as usual

As much as I dislike putting on makeup so early in the day, I hate bringing it out even more 

But we'll see

00.49am

About 5-6 shops in, and still havent found the sour plum I just finished

It's all the wrong brand everywhere

+==edit==+

02.51am

Thought a miracle of me being asleep like last night would happen again but who are we kidding

Anyway the only time I want samyang is when we just run out at home

Why so annoying

Sure I have a 24 hour hao mart nearby but who wants to walk there 

01.11am

It just feels at home going back to Hmx, (cause of my people but they also rajin go back so it feels really nice)

Alhamdulillah for everything

Unsurprisingly i'm thriving much more in a non conformed setting

Ive never really been a hard worker but now I have a purpose and do what I care about and it naturally activates hustle mode

+==edit==+

02.02am

The day I watched Elvis I tried Maduras for the first time and it was muy delicioso!!!

Had the fish head curry, some sort of tandoori chicken and palak paneer...

Wah I cant stop thinking about them 

Lol k im not a foodie

(I typed food and accidentally pressed enter but correct also)

The focus group just now was so fun!

NDA signed but I can tell you I spent most of the time trying new flavours of something I love 

Was ready to go home straight, checked the bus stop and waited for the bus, boarded the bus, realised I took the opposite side and ended up going to NTU for Hmx's last QC before champs this Saturday

The whole time in the bus I was trying to decide whether to go or not and alas the universe decided for me

No ragrets cus got Ovaltine mcflurry and felt at ease seeing the kids' improvements

Cant remember the last time I stayed at home but that's me the next two days

Love hearing raya songs on the radio!!!!

Okay bye

+==edit==+

05.54am

I slept through the night?!? 

Fake through cause woke up but only twice and fell right asleep after seeing the timr

15.28pm

Last night's shoot the train was extra cold and I survived basically 2.5 hours of it with no jacket cus costume

Today im in another cold place for a focus group and will have to survive 2 hours here but at least I had the instinct to bring a hoodie 

Wished I had a blanket

My eyes are so dry lol I slept to basically the last minute possible (fake news) and even reached 12 mins early

01.26am

Me being even remotely tired right now makes zero sense 

In fact it makes less than zero cents (lol), it's negative sense

If im at home in bed right now u better know I wished I was doing something and I wont even feel tired until maybe 6am eyes begin to heavy

Lol anyway im wearing boots for the first time in a long time (long=probably more than 1.5 decades)

I cant believe I can say things like 15 years ago and I was a conscious human being what 

I miss alfie and fahri

I need to bring a portable charger tomorrow just in case (I wanted to today but honestly I change bags so many times idk which bag they are in)

I want a snack

Wasted 40$ on grab today (2 trips) but it's cause grab and gojek's high demand is merepek and somemore cab raised their fares

I should just go back to being late for things

Just now people were talking to each other but now at 1.30am I guess social battery flat and all doing their own things 

Idk why I chose to tell them it's my first time shooting when it's totally not

To be fair it's my first time being paid for a shoot (ok fine, second, first was pri school but that's a distant memory)

Oh i didnt even tell you what i'm doing (I almost type we're cause my blog and I we are one)

We are doing our first ever commercial, first ever corporate shoot

Yay to doing many many firsts just because

Supposedly 2 hours to end of shoot but I think we're overrunning unless they rearranged things 

Idk

Being an extra is not really fun

Again, people who likes doing nothing will enjoy it

I'd play humming lady 3 more times cause I just get to strut in creepy makeup and kill people lolol 

I was gonna audition for USS HHN scare actors but lets be real I refuse to cari pasal 

Feels so nice to talk to you bloggy 

I wished I had iced coffee and candy and snacks right now

Im at an underground mrt station which is really cool cause obviously it's closed 

Ok la let me pretend to be present while pretending im drinking iced coffee 

+==edit==+

05.17am

Homed and settled

Lowkey still havent processed the Elvis movie

I like non structures and that results in the longest post since idk when lol

Also I got a grab back for 16 but when he dropped me off he didnt put as dropoff until 10 mins later and I got charged 5$ extra for extra stop????

And best part is the whole cab ride he was saying how he has always been scammed by ryde/tada riders

I wanna think he genuinely forgot to press cause cab driver lah maybe changed focus to live passenger hunting but idk I hope grab refunds me

Thankfully I was the 2nd one of the crowd to get into a grab

+==edit==+

10.46am

I have just accepted my current body clocking

00.58am

Surprisingly very affected by Elvis, the movie

Wanna write it down while I still feel these feelings

Not sure if it's just the stage of life i'm at,

Or because i'm a performer,

Or a rebel or a rockstar

I had to take time to process the movie I didnt feel like talking cause why and how can I get over it so fast

I walked in knowing and expecting nothing but wew

Kudos Austin butler

16.22pm

Alhamdulillah.

That's all 

Happy birthday Doya

+==edit==+

17.42pm

Daiso's worst move is to be unTwo dollars

I am literally just walking out of one

The price is too complicated and shocking HAHAHA 

04.34am

I am going to put on hair and face mask and inevitably shower and trim my hair too

It's always urges never planned

+==edit==+

06.00am

Kay I did none of those things except trim my hair shower and did my nails somehow

In dire need of skincare restock 

Times like these you wonder whether they are a want of a need

Lol I guess it's up to me to decide

+==edit==+

09.01am

Not funnyyyy why am I awake already I literally need to be up in 2 hours why cant let me sleep through aiseh

Merry July (04.05am)

Last night I slept an hour earlier than usual and woke up at like 10am untiredly

Today I fell asleep even earlier, and what does my body do?

Wake up exactly an hour later

Thanks eh