05.14am

I just miss singing for real 

22.24pm

Major hibernation day today

Slept from 7am-9pm, I think I woke up twice, tried to scroll my phone to wake myself up but failed both times

00.01am

So so tired I can scream

But im 90% sure it's just cause first day period- which, might I add, for the first time in forever, caught me off guard

I didnt even feel my period coming this time round lol thankfully magic happened and ok I will talk to you later my eyes are so heavy and my entire being is just exhausted so bye

+==edit==+

08.06am

Ohayo gozaimasu 

Sis crashed for almost 7 hours straight

Woke up tired but she will be okay

Supposed to leave home in like 10 mins but im still in bed lolz 

00.32am

Every worknight when I see a photo of myself or anyone else with smokey eyes and nude lips my insides say "Tomorrow I want to do that for work" but when I wake up my eyes are too tired for contacts and the office dont deserve to see me be cute so I end up going with just blusher and ombre lips

+==edit==+

01.18am

DANG IT I keep forgetting youtube has ADS can u just stop bluek 🤢🤢🤢🤢 

+==edit==+

15.43pm

Still cannot take and get used to youtube ads

I hate that they can make it adless and screenlockable and downloadable but they dont cus money pfft 

But also hey after complainin I woke up today and my eyes felt fine and untired so I did tiny bit makeup 

Now my eyes tired though but not like dry so

45 mins to survive dabs 

08.33am

Sis took the bus at 7.12am, which in reality means I should reach office early and dandy at 8am

But I just reached 

The rain and traffic jam was crazy, but thankfully it wasnt freezing cold outside I didnt even wear my sweater

But now of course 2 mins in the office my hands are already frozen and numb im strugglin to type

K lemme reply some emails and come back

+==edit==+

13.27pm

Why does 1 hour lunchtime when im not eating feel like 30 mins but when im eating it feels like an hour

Got my first youtube ad after my premium trial ended and I am not okay!!!!!

It is not ok to have ads >:(

Anyway didnt lunch today out of laziness and unhungryness and didnt nap due to not-too-sleepiness 

Back to pretending to be busy 

22/2/22 (22.22pm)

Hahaha ok it's 9.10pm i am faking it for aesthetic

I was out today and saw like 1 couple in their wedding outfits near my house and then a wedding car near NTU 

I was like Why are people getting married isnt it litrally tuesday

It's the date lol 

Woke up from a.. sleep (pretty sure I slept 5 hours)

So nice to see ain and ika after what feels like forever, but so sad that it's because of this

Always happy to see families helping each other in these tough times, and remembering only good things about each other

Had an impromptu lunch adventure with ele, pak yus and cik jo hahah that was random but nice 

Okay, I have emails to reply to but like no wifi so shrugs 

K bye

02.04am

Today I was in esplanade and from afar saw a merlion keychain wearing a... no, it cant possibly be-

So I approached it, curious, hopeful and also in disbelief that this exists, and I picked it up and I read it

"Merlion in Baju Kurung"

I cant do it

I cant believe I didnt buy it (ok 100% cus no price tag and I dun wanna ask cus what if it's 15$ and I had to say oh thanks and put it back lolol)

But I took a photo of it

Cause I still cant believe it existed hahahha

Anyway had a lovely day, after a whole week of either working or hibernating

Started the day by lunching with Awwcappella, been so long since we reunited!

Ate oxtail soup and then me and ele went to nenek house where suddenly kung fu panda 3 started playing on tv and we multitasked eating pizza, watching Po (me), and playing garticphone and laughing like mad people

And then roamed around esplanade where i saw merly, walked to mbs and then had supper at lola faye and now im homed

Feel extra okay for work because WFH x2 days a week officially begins this week! (Though honestly, it should be 3x a week at least or come when necessary lol)

But better than nothing I guess

Will be in the office tomorrow though but I scheduled myself a beach day so hopefully one of my WFH days will have beach weather so I can do work by the seaside 

Okay I should rest wew

p.s i really wanna put merly in baju kurung photo but idk the artist to credit maybe i'll google first find the artist then i'll post hehehehe 

+==edit==+

02.15am

The brand it came from is Red republic and it costs....

15.90$ HAHAHAA im too good at guessing tourist traps except it's trapping me but also thankfully i didnt buy cause got one of merly wearing the SIA KEBAYA and also at the shop i was like Why got baju kurung kebaya nyonya and cheongsam but no sari BUT online have so yay!!!!

+==edit==+

16.03pm

My extrovertedness, hello

I was so sleepy i litrally fell asleep until I got an email that is drama (as drama as this job can be) and just talked to my colleague and now im awake again lol even coffee didnt help interacting with human helped (IMPORTANT NOTE: NOT FORCED/OBLIGED INTERACTION)

K lol but now topic over i tryin to stay awake

Just 40 more mins

+==edit==+

20.10pm

Heartbroken.

Al-fatihah Pak Laili, ever so generous, always asking how we are doing, always sending us to and from places (even taking 11 of us to send along to his BMT) 

I wished your final days were happy, but only god knows what's in your heart

Im glad I got to see and greet you last year if anything; I hope you knew I was only helping and I have zero judgements about you because to me you have done no wrong except be kind to my family

I will forever cherish the times our families spent together, late nights at the beach, invading each other's homes, karaokes; we practically grew up together 

Rest well, free from your earthly pains in all forms.

I wished you got to see your loved ones before you departed but Allah knows best. 

Strengthen the hearts of all grieving over a kind person's loss, Ya Allah.

Place him amongst the pious and forgive all his sins.

Amin

06.10am

Failed to fall asleep

Actually crying seeing how fast the HOF tickets are selling out

Taker how could you 

tAKER IS GOING TO BE INDUCTED IN THE HALL OF FAME (00.07am)

my heart is beating too fast and im trying not to cry

It's always been my dream to be present in attendance when taker gets inducted into HOF

Im truly going to sob leave me alone everyone

I hate u wwe for not giving me the warning 

This feels so SO surreal 

Ok forget it im crying already Hhahaa these tears are real 

+==edit==+

04.26am

There's... twisties kaya butter toast..... i need to eat it now 

02.06am

Today I thank my heart:

I don't know what hearts are made of

I dont know if you were gifted to me wholly by the universe, or you came as a blank slate I had to fill in

Perhaps it's a bit of both (perhaps that's what souls are)- you were given to me equipped with your own personality and pluses and minuses but I choose what happens to you

Is that it, is a heart its own life like we are our own?

Either way, 

Tonight im writing to appreciate you

Least I can do is act the way you would act

Give in, be thoughtful, never prideful.

And honestly, i'd never had appreciated you until I realise how different everyone's hearts are

This is probably why we say "Sampai hati" when someone does something bad- "how could your heart bear to, (because mine would never)"

And why we say "Bless your heart" when someone is kind; because mine didn't tell me to do what you just did

Im rambling. It's 2am

I get to finally work from home today and im beyond elated

May Allah heal all those who are troubled, and protect us all

Here's to a true friYay because no office day

+==edit==+

22.51pm

If anything, I do it for me

I stop hoping for kindness and give myself it

Wished I went to the beach today but I slept the day away literally only left the room to get food wew hibernaty

At least today wasnt a freezing cold day and I no longer have to deal with fevers

06.11am

Work, again?

Not enjoying life right now at all but still greatful for everything

+==edit==+

07.16am

Majorly procrastinating getting ready

Got like 3 hours of sleep and then my body refused to rest more lol I respect your wishes 

My eyes are unhappy though 

My heart is also unhappy but if there's anything im excellent at it's ignoring things

Ahahaha

Okey

+==edit==+

09.10am

Amazing how the people around you affects your day

Life truly is a trial- it's easier to see that hardships are trials but blessings are trials too 

(Hahaha we cant stop is playing on the radio thats funny partying at 9am on a thursday morning)

+==edit==+

09.20am

K let me blog a bit before starting work

Another grabless journey to work today- I did it even though I didnt really want to walk uphill again ahaha but it wasn't "really didnt want to" level yet so I pushed through

Papa sent me lunch and me being a wise man says decided from now on instead of eating breakfast and then being too full for lunch or not eating lunch properly cause lunchtime is naptime (aka in both cases my food will end up being brought back home), my solution is I eat my lunch for breakfast!!!!!

So i have less lunch to finish and I can spend the rest of lunchtime doing anything else, AND I only have 1 meal to handle

(Aka yes I just ate lunch for breakfast lolol then I can have a later lunch and it will be closer to end of work time) 

Ok bye me and my heavy dry eyes are dreading wearing specs but we are not in the condition to wear contacts 

Sed cus wear specs makes my eyes more tired but at least I can remove it as and when

I want BEACH DAY!

Ok bye

+==edit==+

10.57am

Cant do this anymore im in dire need of winter gloves my hands are cryin n numb 

02.32am

Maybe this is the exact feeling I needed to push me forward

But hey universe, dont just push me without reason okay 

I will need all the help and kindness I can get

You're my only support system

Yesterday was all about surviving; I cant remember the last time I aimed to just get through a day

The only reason I survived was I decided to do things on my term; aka I literally was asleep from lunchtime to end of work.

My temperature was raging and I couldnt keep my eyes open and luckily (for them) noone saw/said anything cause if they did I was gonna walk away lol I was at that level of Cant even

Im writing to let go of yesterday and hopefully start afresh

At least I have something to look forward to after work, and I dont have to leave home at 6.30am 

But once again, universe,

Help me help myself 

Thank you in advance im very very ready to rock and roll 

+==edit==+

10.45am

Already a better day despite a challenging 8.50-9am but we'll ignore that happened

I just.. why is breakfast so close to lunch

Everytime I eat breakfast im too full for lunch but usually lunch food wont be edible by dinner

Just stop eating breakfast dear me

Lol

+==edit==+

20.50pm

Aw I miss Avi and his glorious voice

Love me some Matt of course theyre just both so special

+==edit==+

21.10pm

Oh no my bedtime has been 8pm-1am 

Im distrupting my body clock tonight but im happy to break from the work-home-work-home routine bluek

03.15am

Fb ads are so annoying

Also need a beach day asap

Swim, sun, (i typed sund cus thinking of sand)
Wind and unbotheredness

+==edit==+

04.36am

I..want cake lol 

I always want cake hahah (as a lover of cake and ice cream i actually prefer them as separate entity so ice cream cakes are not top on my tier as dreamy as it sounds and seem and is) 

+==edit==+

06.10am

Mornings are great when it's not against your will

Also i have chocolate cake in my fridge now somehow HAHA but i cant eat it cause i havent check the halalness it was given to along 

Early morning today cus sending tito to school before trying a new grabless route to work

Which also means i'll have to WALK at least 7 minutes from the bus stop to office 

Which is not fun and honestly with promo codes sometimes it's just more worth it to grab that 5-6$ distance

+==edit==+

7.28am

Normalize bursting into laughter in public cus either my brain is funny or im listening to earl recordings

+==edit==+
08.56am

Human: You doing ok
Me: Surviving
Human: Need to get used to changing habits
...
....
HABITS?
OH U MEAN THE HABIT WHERE I PHYSICALLY BIOGICALLY CANNOT FALL ASLEEP AT YOUR TIMING AND SO I GO TO WORK WITHOUT SLEEP AND THEN GO HOME AND CRASH SO I DONT HAVE ANY TIME TO MYSELF OR MY LOVED ONES?
THAT HABIT???? THAT BENEFITS ME IN NO WAY?
Dont talk to me like that on a tuesday morning that is blatant disrespect
I also managed to not grab to work for the first time
Left home at freakin 6.40am and got to work at 8.45am
What even
Also if morning birds are allowed to 'retire for the night' and skip out on night plans cus theyre tired where is the equality for my people
Im already done with the work day and all ive done is ate 1 popiah havent even turned on my laptop yet
Dangit people are trash

+==edit==+

14.48pm

I typoed edit as exit which is what I want to do

Freezing, so sleepy idk why I napped half hour lunchtime and just couldnt wake up until now lol 

+==edit==+

16.08pm

I feel quite miserable and the only reason ive survived the past 2 hours is cus my body just shut down i was asleep

07.06am

Happy monday
Had a well balanced weekend aka was active all saturday and hibernated on sunday
Tried the new kfc burger no thanks to ele for buying it
The shower is too cold
I slept like 2 hours before getting up at 3 and now here we are I have to get ready for work
My 4g is left with 8kb ive never ever seen kb before haha
Is that even sufficient to book a grab?!
(Lol priorities)
I hope the office wont be too cold as usual today ugh
I should bring a pillow today bleh
I want breakfast
You are reading my thought process
K bye i should get ready and hopefully have time for breakfast at home so i dont have to think about it later

04.00am

Lets see if it will be a second sleepless night in a row or my heavy eyes win and give me some rest 

Right now my eyes are heavy again but i feel so awake

Happy cause did tons of group singing today- most in the year

07.24am

Good job not sleeping before a long day again

But also why did I set my alarm so early but no difference I didnt need it anyway lol unless somehow I get like a power nap after showering probably 

My eyes have been so heavy since like 2am but my brain is dance dance wake wake 

+==edit==+

08.27am

I dont think ive ever gotten ready while in a blanket before that's how cold it is

03.14am

I think I just cannot function fully in cold weather hahaha just physically unmoveable and mentally unmotivated like I can put on 4 jackets but cmon

It's ok I shall survive last day of work for this week

+==edit==+

05.57am

Im clearing my memory and just saw a ton of screenshots of hmx loving each other and unable to contain the love and im here wondering what we'd be like if covid never happened 

We were graduating, covid happened, and that's like double separation

Dang it I miss everyone lol 

+==edit==+

12.34pm

Yayaya the office is freezing again whats new it's harmful to my wellbeing and is a valid reason to wfh

Lol

I wanna nap i havent slept yet but im not sleepy??

Just feel super uncomfortable im wearing 1x thick hoodie sweater, 1x windbreaker, 1x thick fluffy jacket and 1 blanket and socks 

And my hands especially is froZen i need winter gloves

Ok I should get some shut eye

Im a jobless gal so i litrally bought a watercolour pallatte to occupy my time lolz genius again

K bye

+==edit==+

18.26pm

Literally took 2 hours to get back home cause I was asleep the whole bus ride and woke up right before my stop which is just nice but cause I was in a double decker and I didnt feel like going down the stairs I stayed until interchange hahaha (which was like 4 stops away) 

What a rainyyy afternoon..... bleah

But may it be a beneficial rain to us all amin

03.19am

Me: ready to wind down thinking i have 2 hours of sleep before work

Me seeing the time: It's only 3am?! Hahaha

+==edit==+

16.01pm

I crashed from 9-3pm

The air is so chilly i feel it inside me and eek it's too much

Have to drag myself to the clinic tonight

Dont even know if I have the energy

+==edit==+

22.20pm

Well I failed to drag myself out but good thing is I slept almost the whole day and now I feel much better and ready and kicking (ask me again in the morning ok)

It's been what, 5 years since I was subjected to Ezlink adult fare and wah it's really too much I will never get used to the price

I though public transport is supposed to be accessible for all, obviously not 

00.47am

Not me going to have dinner right as my family goes to sleep 

Just security guard things

+==edit==+

07.31am

No idea why i woke up tired today i litrally slept

Also I just found out the samsung s21 has NO MICROSD SLOT 

That is utter bull pls 

Their reason is it's only 50$ more for the max 256gb and cloud storage

Cute that they think 256gb is enough and that i'd use cloud storage pfft

I litrally now have 240/247gb with the help of a 120gb memory card and I still have to delete apps I dont use

Planned to send chiqa to school and then go to work but I just cant get up pls

+==edit==+

07.38am

Back to say it's so weird to think that fazura is 7 years older than her husband if my husband is 7 years younger than me he litrally isnt even done with NS right now

+==edit==+

07.53am

Hahaha I just asked chiqa's turtles if I should take mc today

She seems impartial so I decide I should maybe 80% not go to work today

+==edit==+

08.35am

Had breakfast and now back in bed with the fan off

I need to buy the fluffy gloves I always see at daiso and even better winter clothes 

+==edit==+

09.38am

I swear everyone in my life has bad timing

They will call or reply RIGHT as im falling asleep (this is the worst and such a big deal cause I cant even fall asleep easily and I swear the SECOND i lock my phone and shut my eyes my phone vibrates or rings) (ooh why dont u silent your phone NO what if someone needs me)

They will make plans on the only day of the month I have plans

Cmon guys 

Cooperate or else

+==edit==+

17.59pm

# To change the narrative

+==edit==+

21.07pm

Pls my heart was assaulted twice in 5 seconds

A kind man and a baby

06.42am

So like my plan is after my actual wedding im gonna start wearing wedding dresses unnecessarily 

It just makes sense

Also like I slept before 1am but woke up at 3am 

Tis the season of my body needing the least rest

My fav season

+==edit==+

18.50pm

Between universes, i think what might unite us is a papercut

Also how is it both freakin hot and cold at the same time this is so annoying and uncomfortable

+==edit==+

19.45pm

Officially down with fever cause of how ridiculously cold the office is

I had 3 jackets and a blanket but it didnt help much

Bleh

04.25am

Best part about being a writer is whenever im feeling alone and uncared for (like right now) I can always go back to my stories and visit my non existent friends there

Better than being sad and heartbroken over things beyond my control

Hahah i'll just make my characters even more caring and loving to make up for the lack of it in reality

+==edit==+

13.31pm

Ate 1x expired biscuit for lunch lolol 

My office really needs a food vending machine pls but ok to be fair this is a hotspot for wildlife so it's probably unsafe but hais lunch is such a bother to find 

04.34am

Dang it I had a tiny bit of hope i'd fall asleep early so i'll arise early and I could go hike or something 

Boo man

+==edit=÷+

05.21am

Maybe I should just get a night job since I have no social life anyway??

So i can be out of bounds in the day and be occupied in the night

Genius

21.49pm

Dont feel like associating with humans but also want to go adventures with humans

So for now everyone do me a favour and leave me alone but don't

Thanks

06.09am

Havent start work and already tired and bored zz 

Lol also work ALWAYS harms me physically and I always get a fever plus bonus body aches because of how cold the office is

No joke everything hurts 

Pls I need 4 jackets and socks and gloves

Should i nap

I got like 7 hours of sleep between 8pm-3am wew

+==edit==+

12.34pm

Zzz.

How is it only 12

Just cant wait to leave the office

Only 2nd day and im already done

Can zizan call me and ask me move to malaysia then i can run away thank u

+==edit==+

18.24pm

Watch me having a pleasant day because I choose to 

One of my to do list is getting back into journaling/scrapbooking

Which is so exciting

Which also motivates me to do more things so I always have content

Influencer but for myself 

Hahahaha ok 

Thank god it is friday indeed!

Im a happy camper even though work day started off not fun 

04.00am

Dang it I cant fall asleep

Someone told me to try not to think about going to sleep and that's exactly what my brain did literally hahaha

Oh wells my alarm in gonna ring in less than 2 hours

It's not work later im dreading, it's the work days after that hahaah I know I can tolerate a day

Bleah whatever

Half of me thinks I should still try to get my 2 hours nap but the other half just says forget it sleep during lunch

+==edit==+

04.24am

You know what 7-11 should sell instant gulab jamun i wanna say i have ready made ones in my kitchen but i think we already made and consumed them and if mustafa was still 24 hours i'd go and restock 

But yea just

Gulab jamun

+==edit==+

08.09am

Currently outside the office waiting for it to open

I ended up not sleeping

Current feeling is dreadful, dreading the 9 hours ahead, dreading the long journey home even

Dreading tomorrow

Not in a bratty way more like in a I know what to expect (NOTHING.) kind of way

I will be so bored

And im ready to cry

+==edit==+

18.56pm

I survived quite well, I was at peace the whole time

I even drew 

And thankfully time didnt feel too slow especially in the afternoon 

Idek what I did cause server was down half the day

That being said, I had more fun organizing my new drawers than I have ever had at the office hashtag just virgo things 

Hahaha

Journey home was too slow as usual and I didnt fall asleep except the last 10 mins so wew me

I havent had lunch so im patiently awaiting dinner

In the meantime i'll try not to fall asleep too early

Honestly right now I feel like my body is gearing towards night 2 of no sleep but let's hope that's not really the case 

p.s yes i have abandoned the writing challenge for now hahahahaa kbye

2/2/22 (00.24am)

Back to work in 8 hours after a month of being free

Not gonna dwell on that thought cause it makes me unhappy so let's just get on with it 

And if anything, i'll just leave

Hashtag no regretz 

Merry February (05.49am)

Im eating pizza

And watching baby duncan 

(and missing fahri and alfie)