00.10am

Am not like ded exhausted despite an all nighter probably cause i'm fresh outta hibernation period
So what do I feel like doing as I got locked outside of my home for (thankfully) not even 10 minutes?
Feel like spring cleaning
THATS RIGHT
I feel like clearing out my wardrobe
But no that is an impulse I shan't listen to for today
Shall rest

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07.21am

I'm glad I didn't agree to myself waking up who knows how many hours ago wew that discipline
Hahaha jk
But buenos dias, I thought I was 3 hours ahead of my alarm but idk why I set it at 8 plus
What why
When did I even set it
Lol ok nevermind imma go hydrate myself I guess

07.05am

Planned to end rehearsal early (read: catch last bus) so we could meet at 9am today
But I also can't sleep so what's the point hahahah
Our routine of rehearsing till 10am had been fun lol but we got to get used to the peasant human timing
So yes meeting them in 2 hours after a sleepless night
To be fair I slept too much over the past 2 days as I have recorded
I want to go get ready and have breakfast, rehearsing really near home today so maybe I could even go back for lunch ayy (or ask along/anga to deliver if they're not working lol what idea is this a genius one of course)
Ok I shall go see what's up

17.45pm

Alhamdulillah I think I have recovered fully!
But in return I lost sense of time hahaha
Idk I think I slept at 11am on Thursday and woke up and fell asleep every few hours, and then woke up at 2am Friday and fell asleep at 6am, woke up every few hours again and now at 5pm i'm properly awake
Aka omg im late for rehearsals
I shall go get ready

19.27pm

Do you know how sad it is that i'm not super super bummed to miss WWE tonight (probably right now) cause of how boring the line up is
THEY SENT REYREY BACK TO RAW AND DIDNT BRING HIM HERE
What's the point
Also it's a rest day from rehearsals
It's a week to champs and as unprepared as we are i'm ready to seize the stage
I feel like the past 2 champs i've not been present enough to remember anything but hahaha will try this year

07.34am

Sometimes you're heartbroken cause you expect people to have the same heart you do- to not do things you would never have done and do things you would've
Worst part is we can't blame them
Worst part is knowing we either toughen up and begin losing faith in others or continue being disappointed until someone comes along to prove you right
Time and again you find yourself alone again and wonder why you even

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11.06am

This is next level exhaustion where you get delirious whether you're doing ok or not
10 days to champs and I can't recall if we've always been at the same rate of progress or if this is better or worse
But I have to heal by then
(jk no pressure body)
I feel pins and needles in my left palm and google says I lack Chi
Which is weird cause I spend 13 hours a day with a keiChi hahaaahhjk but really though chi shen me chi
I guess I should nap before rehearsals?
Will leave home in about 4, 5 hours time who knows how long my alarmless nap would be probably 90 mins and im awake again
It okk
K my phone batt low byeee have a beautiful day ahead!

10.54am

Reaching home, almost
As you can tell I have been out and about running on the opposite timezone with hmx
Im not even tired tired like I definitely could push on
But my fever is not going away and i've been feeling so nauseous like im both worried for myself but also like "meh it'll go away if u ignore it"
Time to sleep before rehearsal again
Insyaallah i'll feel better soon

+==edit==+
20.46pm

Woke up with Mcspicy (most importantly, no lettuce) waiting for me
Sometimes I forget people know me
Hahaha thank u anga the frog ♡
Still contemplating going to rehearsals im egoistic enough to not want to miss any but also i'll reach school at 11pm but also if we're gonna end up staying till 10am again then that's ok right
I'll eat first then think

+==edit==+
21.36pm

Got ready to leave for school but I ate and then my fever went up again so now im just gonna not move
It feels so wrong to skip rehearsal but if I go there and unable to help much also bummer
(if I miraculously feel normal I could still catch my last bus to boon lay lol)

10.43am

Woke up with a call and I thought I was late for rehearsals or something
Wew the slight panic I had hahaha
In other news, finally going for jalan raya again this weekend!!!!!!!!!
Huhuhu

It's the time of the year (05.36am)

Where we say goodbye at 5am just to say hello at 10am lol hashtag just champs things
Very relieved to have finally completed the major paperworks though follow ups are needed
Im definitely a planner but also at this baby stage i'd rather spend the time and effort looking after hmx's growth than mug over paperwork
I have a 1 hour gig this evening but as of this second my throat went back to hurting
Think I misused it when it hasnt healed fully
But im not used to half assing my rehearsals
I shall voice break till soundcheck then, (probably even miss soundcheck if I need more rest) and hopefully be grand by 7.30pm
If not i'll push through my what, 7 songs, and then-
Oh wait champs rehearsallllll
Ok nevermind
One step at a time insyaallah
We're all in this together!
Time to rest before another long day of hustling ayy cena is proud

02.55am

Had a lovely day (also should probably detail my blogs and not "i'll update later" lest I froget things)
Went for an Ikea run with the family and got dinner together
(aka Me: how is 12 meatballs gonna fill me up)
(Me after 3 meatballs: ok sorry for underestimating you)
Then ran down for rehearsals
My voicebox is going through ups and downs definitely not healed at all but at least it's not in pain
Got home courtesy of cheezhi's dad ;')
Another longmonix day in less than 12 hours so I shall rest soon insyaallah

09.51am

Quite relieved that my fever finally broke after weeks of being heaty
Turns out hustling, foreign air and drinking too much water works wonders
Im in pain now
Vocal break worked but hmx bootcamp happened it felt gross not to talk also it hurts more laughing than talking
Alas, at the end of camp and production meeting, I think my body knows I finally can rest so I just took a nap while everyone around me were rehearsing ;')
Was dreading the journey home so much, but I was sent an angel in the form of a Justine who came to fetch me and sent me home all the way to my floor
Noone deserves a Justine and idk what to feel about my affairs being eased I feel so undeserving but at the same time I couldnt have imagined it any other way ♡
Rehearsal again today marking 7 straight days of hmx but I think being there would just make me want to sing
Wanted to stay at home the whole day but mama is asking me to go out and she mentioned jalan raya I want heueueehehehhehee but also why am I awake so early

+==edit==+
16.06pm

Always thought moving on would be done together, or at least one of us easing it for the other
Guess love and trust has an expiry date for some people
And though we can do nothing but watch as we stray further away,
Just know i'm always praying for your happiness and success even if it means i'm no longer in your story
That being said, I too deserve someone else who wants or needs me in theirs
Knowing me i'll continue moping around until you make it clear that we're through for good
I love us and that will never change

+==edit==+
18.03pm

So my throat was feeling better I was ready to go rehearsals tonight but after a short storytelling session to elephant about our bootcamp (litrally not even 3 mins) im back to square 1.5
BYe

Trust (02.23am)

I love how I can trust my bodyclock
So I fell asleep at 11 plus but I had a lot to do before 6.30am later
I knew if I slept before midnight i'll always wake up at this timing so I took the risk and I regained consciousness at 2am
Great boi now time to do work before possibly sleeping again or maybe not cause I have to reach hmx bootcamp by 830am im excited but also worried cause I put myself on voice break
Considering whether to let myself recuperate in time for the 1 hour gig this friday or just continue singing and hope I heal in time
Ok let's just listen to the body and not be dumb ok
Have a brilliant day ahead!

ps i wANT TO JALAN RAYA

+==edit==+
09.03am

Just felt a sense of wasted cause I missed a chance to do something nice for someone just cause I delayed the decision for 0.2 seconds
I think I blogged about this before, about how beautiful it is that our hearts are moved at different times and for different things
There is no burden in taking care of each other cause we all are concerned over different things

+==edit==+
11.39am

Reminder to self to never leave anyone behind, and always include everyone the best you can
It doesnt feel good to be lonely

05.59am

Noone told me singing would hurt my throat even more hahahahahaa (if u cant tell im joking)
Probably a combination of a few lame reasons- the fact that I already was having a fever, malaysian air, drinking too much plain water, singing, idek man
Was going to say how I can finally rest and sleep in but nein I have a rehearsal in 8 hours so time to fit 4 nights worth of sleep before I have to leave home
I want to jalan raya but I also want to rehearse but I won't be able to sing and talk but what if I can't resist the temptation no I shall not let myself take so long to cure insyaallah
Ok goodmornight

+==edit==+
12.12pm

This feels terribĺe
Not sure if going back to sleep would help in any way

Intense (08.12am)

12 hours of meeting and we're not done, and these crazies with their eyes half closed still wanted to press on until check out (circa noon)
Managed to make them all take a power nap like 90-120 mins
But now I can't sleep lol I should at least rest my being
Back to Singapore for more rehearsals and things on our plates but at least we're done with some
This is intense thorough discussion no loopholes allowed kind
We're all complaining we shouldve done 4 days 3 nights boo tRue
Ok I shall try and rest buenos dias

+==edit==+
09.21am

HmM I did it
Should I go for a bit more

+==edit==+
17.42pm

Will update about the trip later but here I am awake from a nap with high fever and bad throat (I DRANK TOO MUCH PLAIN WATER THATS WHY)
And late for rehearsals so im chionging to get readyyy
Brb

02.49am

Currently in a foreign land with somemonix
Can you believe we went to johor just cause we needed a thorough committee meeting and we wanted to be comfortable during the long hours and staycationing in Singapore is just not worth it
How do we explain this to people (and ourselves) that this is not really a getaway but a business trip
We're having a maggi party watching kungfu hustle tonight
Here's to a grand weekend!

+==edit==+
13.11pm

Guysss I woke up with humans who havent contacted me in some time asking if I can meet them tomorrow im like wow the time i'm noT half available you text me huh
But whatever
Also spent overnight (hahaha more like overmorning) trying to upload vlogs but the wifi is so bad from the room it failed
While waiting for it to (not) upload I fell asleep after putting on a mask with jing yong
Woke up dk how many minutes later to the mask gone I thought I dropped it or my skin absorbed the sheet (horror) but jing yong was stil prowling around drying her hair so I was like "Did u remove my sheet mask for me"
And she did what a true bebeh HAHAHA but imagine my shock im like did I sleep that aggressively no I didn't
We went to bed the same time as yesterday la hello so I was like "don't set alarm k"
Okk imma clear my phone memory it's bad

09.45am

Good morning

03.23am

Home early(er than usual) but still not resting
Intense rehearsal seasons are great cause you have an excuse to not focus on anything else lol

+==edit==+
12.50pm

Got in my grab and a Demi song just started I feel so happy everytime I hear her on the radio
Come back with new music beb I miss you

05.47am

Ive always heard about lavender scent being good for calming and sleeping but ive never actively tried it
Just used some lavender balm on myself and already feel zen and ready to sleep wot m8 placebo or the scent is just so relaxing
Either way I had a great day!
Bismillah for this journey insyaallah it's eased by Him!

Weird but ok (00.56am)

So after 5 straight days of intense rayaing, my physical being is ok despite the countless amount of food and walking (and amazing sleep schedule), my skin is ok after daily makeup
But my ears
My eaRS HURT wearing heavy earrings 5 days straight I didnt think it'd be a thing but here I am

+==edit==+
13.06pm

You know what I find incredibly precious and like "omg why but also bless u" it's when your friends' family buys new utensils just so they can make halal food for their friends to consume
I cri everitim out of sheer..... idk what's the appropriate word like you didnt have to at all but YOU DID and you are too much I love you even more thanks for keeping us in your considerations T.T
K back to learning a song for next week's 1 hour gig
We think it's quite a large scale event this time round so we're very underprepared HAHA lesson learnt though come through hustling mode

Hustling in a fun way (01.33am)

Finally have enough energy to mask up
I dont even have the energy to edit photos but like it's tired to think kind of tired cause im very sleepless but I dont do any work it's like I just play games and watch videos cause I cant read or write or do anything else
Just not the mode activated for now I guess
Had such a crazy and lovely day, looking forward for another one today!
And then back to prioritizing rehearsals (still want to raya though i mean it's a month ehehehe)
Kay I shall go back to not thinking heheh buenas noches

02.33am

Am in a happy place but a thought in my brain is how next semester I will be leaving rehearsals without my usual going home crew cause they graduated I am going to be so sad when they leave uni but they're stuck with hmx forever but I wont see them everyday I want to scream ok dont think about this now back to happy place
Colleen is achieving her dreams I am too proud

01.12am

Yeah I think I had a total of 8-10 dreams about the score hahahahha
Even had a mini scare earlier on but now that it's in my hands I hope I don't get anymore dreams about it
8-10 dreams is too much for one thing that is not zac efron excuse you brain

+==edit==+
02.03am

Also I have been wanting to tourist around kolam ayer/kampung bahru/clarke quay area by foot in the day but idk when and whether I should go alone or with humans
I should rest

+==edit==+
03.50am

Cant believe I finally have the time and energy to watch a video and I cHOOSE MIRANDA SING'S netflix special BRB

+==edit==+
04.52am

IM DONE
So proud of colleen for achieving her dreams, 10 years in the making
Bro 10 years man
Hold on to your dreams and keep fighting, it will come true insyaallah!
Still not sleepy though
What shall I do next

+==edit==+
10.01am

Aaand she's bACK with the sleep schedule
Think I fell asleep at 7 or a bit before
Didnt switch off my wifi how dare I

+==edit==+
23.01pm

Thank god for services like Grab wot m8 can u imagine life without it again cause I dont wish to
I really need to explore singapore I have this need I think to distract myself from my pile of workload but my rational side is like "settle things while having fun" but my better side says "work and have fun at separate times" only issue is im always having fun

03.26am

Didnt even realise when I fell asleep but hi

+==edit==+
23.51pm

It feels like the weekend I almost typed "had a great weekend"
But yes, food and noise galore I love it
Also got to carry a baby FINALLY but too short ah why did I pass her to elephant why

Just raya things (02.02am)

Usually by this time i'd be finishing the second last person but now I haven't even sTARTED
Still wanting to clean more stuff but my clients (not brock lesnar) are waiting aiyo how

+==edit==+
05.47am

Wew only done with 5/8 hands
Progress though
Watching hannah montana the movie while putting on henna is a challenge I keep laughing
I cant even be bothered to start on my right hand and for a face mask
Will nap now maigah

ALSO IMPORTANT NEWS I got my orange keropok idk if baba or who bought it but THANK YOU I LOVE YOU

Salam Syawal (18.56pm)

Last few minutes of Ramadhan 2019, always always a bittersweet feeling.
Alhamdulillah, all glory to Him for allowing us to meet this holy month once more.
May we meet again next year, insyaallah!
I hope any amount of ibadah we did, big or small, is accepted and more importantly may we leave this month being better people than we were before.

Am occupied with spring cleaning still I haven't even masked and hennaed up what is this
Also have to miss the impromptu malam raya buka at nenek's place cause we know once we leave home and come back our cleaning mood will dissipate into non-existence
Hehe excited to finish and then put on henna for the 3 frogs and myself I am totally going to sleep at 5am again bruh
No plans for bazaar tonight but I just remembered I haven't bought my orange keropok this year and i'm so very upset about it
I will go down just to buy it
Also need new lipstick colours
Ok priorities
Buka first lol

Merry June (06.27am)

Wanted to sleep before having to leave home for more raya prep but my brain is on overload huhu
Thinking of choreo ideas, concert prep, raya prep, henna designs
I shall play subway surf until I get sleepy cause im not in the most productive mode right now
Yesterday was really lovely.
Baby izzul forced me to stop eating cause he wanted me to help answer for him when elephant was holding a math quiz with the kids
Hello baby I love you too much but how could you make me do math D:
And then izzah the cutie just kept being so cute I cannot
Was so shagged though why ah what was the point in which I bicycled
Who knows
Ok I shall go play subway surf or watch 4 million videos for inspiration
Have a lovely day ahead!

ps rvn rehearsal after so long today!!!! feat special guest hehehe

00.44am

Happy, tired, but also very ready and willing to hustle in more ways than one!
Another accidentally packed sunday, including having agreed to WORK can you believe me after so long
But eh, we'll do this
Bismillah!

+==edit==+
17.33pm

At the second kid's club for the day, aka Harmonix huhu I feel so much more awake than when I was in the first kid's club lollll the main comm is being serenaded by the Alumni
Waiting for elephant to come before we head to the third kid's club which is cik ros' place ermagerd my babies
Ok a happy children's day to me including myself

05.36am

Not sure if life choices doubtful or just risk taking
Reached home just in time for sahur cause the grab driver got way off lost twice hahahaha why m8
Stayed back in school for latE to do (I wished I could say finish but alas) some discussion
I have to be in town in 4 hours eh for a soundcheck and then a performance in the noon before rehearsal and then bazaar for raya clothes shopping cum cousins night out
What a long day what a good cause for me to have rested early right but nO frogs are green I am not
I'd try to sneak in a power nap but im so awake it's ridiculous