Hahahaha again (01.48am)

So in news as shocking as the fall of the Berlin wall, (hahahah totally did not quote wild child) im home early from a Harmonix gathering!
Granted I reached home past midnight but it's early
Combination of a few factors really; namely jm was grabbing home and we live kinda nearby, mama asked me to put henna on her and my calltime later is 9am
Which yes.... after mentioning to Daya how im really gonna take a break now- and I quote "I mean previously my break still consists of performances but this time I wont even want to perform"
But here I am, another wedding show hahaha
But it's the items I like so yay
And I think it's the first wedding show with just ele, fiqah and I?

Also, so much for my 2 weeks break from work.
Got called to work on monday hahahaha ok this post is just me roasting myself cause why you B when you said A but it's ok I shall not dwell on things
I gotta rest man long day ahead

//edit//
09.24am

Help I just got told that the items I was reviewing (ok not really) was NOT the one im not gonna do hahahha.....
So throw two foreign items to me and wallah we have a schrodingerz catz situation whereby idk if I know things or not

//edit//
12.40pm

Im at a really beautiful wedding venue T.T
Ok at least the pelamin is gorgeous
Im embracing this journey but im looking forward for Harmonix
Anyway I feel royal hahaha with the crown and extra long lashes bruh yes sign me up anytime

Sense of time wherefore (14.00pm)

So I suddenly got asked for a wedding show tomorrow and I was watching an old video of the repertoire we'll be dancing to revise when I realised it was only 4 mins long
4 MINS!!!
It feels like 7 minutes when we're dancing omgosh
And it's the exact opposite for singing- it feels so short but it's already so long
So cool how perceptions of time can differ even within ourselves

Love takes time to develop I guess and I miss evokals so much but RVN is growing on me and I look forward to see them everytime.
Though they're really annoying with their musical technicalities which are amazing but annoying cause they will convert (or revert more like) to speaking alien language hahahahahah
And im saying this cause i've been and will be seeing them almost everyday hahahah here's to champs and concert

//edit//
17.03pm

Just woke up from a nap oh no
So I was gonna say how I have spent so long shaping myself to be a person I myself respected- no matter how the losers outside view me
But I realise i'm reverting back into a normal human being which is disguspink cause I totally wasn't born to be normal
Like I used to never pass on stories just based on the simple principle that it is not my story to tell
Somehow after deciding to be more open I accidentally let loose of this trait a bit more
Striving to find the balance between sharing and oversharing
It honestly feels a thousand times better to remain silent
And that I shall be

Three random things

1) I had this thought a few days ago and it was in my memo but I didnt elaborate so I forgot what it is about but this kind of relates to the above-Should asking Why require concern and curiosity (i'll edit this once I remember what it's about)

2) Same as above, i forgot about it- Is liking someone more of a result of what they make you feel or what you feel you can do for them? Basically is it a selfish or altruistic thing or is there really a balance in this world of imbalance tendencies

3) Honestly what else is the source of insecurity other than comparison? If you were the only human alive would you still be insecure about who you are?

Ok i'll not think about these now but it's just interesting and as always sometimes I dont agree with myself but that is the process of being wiser
I should probably get ready now hahahah
Bye

How is this a thing (14.06pm)

Yesterday was quite productive I guess, but no idea why I felt so nauseous throughout it was horrendous I havent felt that in a long time
Felt better after waking up but now im getting reminded of that feeling again
I think I have crazy much on my plate and a distraction is the last thing I need but noOooO it appears to me anyway
Maybe the break was necessary afterall
No idea where I placed my laptop and it's making me extra unproductive like I have tons to do but im not doing it

I just want to jalan raya and forget about things for a while ok hahahahaha
bye

Breathe man (00.15am)

Today was an emotional roller coaster in the high area, sometimes I forget I have a heart hahahaha ok kidding but someone made my heart skip like 30 beats in total today- not necessarily in a good way but meh
And ended the way being unable to stop laughing cause I made someone (a different someone) laugh till he fell off his chair in a hawker centre (only the person beside us saw) and everytime there was silence afterwards I laughed everytime I tried to eat or drink or distract myself with my phone I cant help but replay the scenario and laugh all over again
Needless to say it was a workout
I thought I could never stop laughing ok hahahahah

A production meeting later on before rehearsal, at least I have frodo alimony with me throughout so all is good
Hope to get some rest tonight even though both the things above might render me sleepless
Hahahais buenas noches, here's to a bright lovely day ahead!

Definitely not overdependence (06.38am)

Ah the times I dont consult the sleep calculator and wake up tired, can feel the difference man
But it's fine cause i'll eventually progress from this
Anyway if it works it works right
Planned to leave home earlier today to get breakfast
I mean mac's 1$ upgrade to iced latte is an open invite man but then again I could breakfast at home too hahahaha see my mood im lazy to entertain the crowd anywhere
Ok I feel more awake already after typing all above
It cold
I shall start getting ready before 7

//edit//
16.54pm

Idk why my break is super early hais but I WAS SCROLLING THROUGH INSTAGRAM AND THE PROMO VIDEO FOR REYREY'S RETURN IN WWE 2K19 GAVE ME CHILLS AKA I WANT TO SCREAM INTO THE BEYOND
can we all cry laugh together cause it was an amazing video whoever is the heckity heck promotional team deserves every awards for being so creative
I WILL REWATCH IT 5000 more times and even more!!!!!
♡
Anyway I was having fun giving the kids trivia questions and I asked one cutie how to spell Apple and he said Frutz omg thats close enough my love
And there was a cute baby called willow who was so cute
And I painted a few pirate faces today
Now on to a week break to focus on champs!

Just hit me (13.21pm)

Currently in hitch to work, and About you now is playing which is cool because I was watching wildchild before leaving home and this song is in it hahaha
Was halfway through my macs breakfast when the hitch arrived bruh accuracy
Anyway, it just hit me that champs is next week....
Hahaha elephant's group is all ready with costumes while my group is still doing songs
Ehh it ok we'll ace this

ps yesterday's wedding show ended so late but eh I went home and everyone was out roaming

pps i want to jalan raya D:

ppps maybe if im not free to jalan raya i shall just wear baju kurung to wherever im going

//edit//
23.47pm

Trying to wind down and fall asleep soon
Suddenly got asked to work full shift tomorrow lol and idk why I agreed but most of all idk why I was asked cause literally few hours before someone said there was gonna be too many staffs tomorrow and I volunteered to skip my shift but noOooO it got extended instead
Hais fate
Today was quite lovely, there were not many kids and I spent like half an hour in the storeroom decorating a blackboard
Again, I find it extremely weird that I was asked to do it- I am so not an interior or exterior designer
But whatevs it was fun
Survived today-
Here's to an even better day tomorrow!

One of many (02.49am)

Spent 17 hours with harmonix today but who's counting we meet up like less than every 24 hours hahahah
Had our first ever full run for the concert today :')
Got emotional at the first song seeing how far we've come
And then my unprepared group managed to bullshit a song we've not touched for so long and when the rest clapped for us I was so happy cause like proud of us la ok hahha
Can we believe I have dance in like 12 hours cause I cant
Felt like forever since I moved
But yes a wedding performance and then a potential rehearsal again, followed by 2 days of closing shift and then more rehearsals!
Excited and I pray for this journey to be eased.

//edit//
19.36pm

Currently at golden landmark, waiting for our client to come pick us up.
Ok he is here lol scared is it
Brb

//edit//
20.29pm

Ok we have to wait 15 more minutes why I thought it was a come and go affair as usual
Thankfully rehearsal with RVN was in the noon and not at night
Im sleepy and hungry and I have to go back to admiralty before going home even though im 10 mins away from mi casa D:
Also im lazy to entertain humans right now (ahahaha actually when do I ever)
So bye

2.48am

Hahaha ok this is quite amusing I literally just woke up
Thought it was like 8am so I was like "Oh yay I stand corrected" but then I picked up my phone and saw the time and nopeeee
Not sure if i'll take another short nap before I leave home
I dont want to entertain messages

I mean (20.59pm)

I have too much to do I almost took a nap
But an empty box fell on me out of nowhere waking me up
This is how it's gonna end up: me sleeping before 11pm--me waking up at 2-3am--me unable to sleep again--me leaves home for a long day ahead

Always on the bright side (01.13am)

I had a good day!
From morning till night, it was blessings and positivity all around.
So I was ready early but I needed food so I made myself breakfast and walked out of home at 8.50am just to see like 5 people waiting for a cab before me (PSA pls never be a biatch and cut someone off when theyre waiting for a cab first ok wth if you need it urgently either talk to them or go somewhere else) so I walked a bit further away and there were a lot of cabs there lol bless
Reached work a bit late but meh
No idea what I did at work today, a lot of jumping around actually
But omg I was getting into cleaning and then got interrupted because they wanted me to go for break like WHY NOW why you so evil
But ok la managed to use the break to revise my notes cause we were going to have an Earl session at night (MANAGED TO LEARN MY NOTES ON THE SPOT IN THE END hahahah internally proud of myself for finally singing the right notes- ive been making my own notes up)
Ok this post has a lot of filler words hahaha but what matters is it is the little things made my day awesome (felt like so long since I used the word awesome)

Looking forward to another great day tomorrow!
Following a volunteer group to bring a group of kids including chiqatito to science centre!!!
Thank god I didnt decide to work this thursday cause ive been doing that the past few weeks but bad idea cause harmonix always ends late and thursday mornings are so... no thanks
Also I love science centre and another of my life's to do list is to be the "parent volunteer" for field trips or excursions muehhaha
And then RVN rehearsal!
We hustling for champs- 2 weeks plus to go!
And then total focus on concert

ps wow this post really do have a lot of repeated words hahaha let me just add one more: sorry not sorry

pps HOW IS UNDERTAKER GOING TO MELBOURNE cmon mate come to my country plsssss must I really fly there

//edit//

23.40pm

A good, jam packed day! My brain woke me up super early hahah anyway science centre was awesomeeee. The standards of the exhibitions gets better each time I go there. I guess the biggest blessing is that we were mentoring a group of kids who were pretty well behaved! 

Went home feeling tired but then managed to get a half hour rest before leaving again for a meeting with a social service centre, before heading out to rehearsal.

It was productive and wild seeing them try to hit them notes- thanks for the challenge mr arranger hahahah and thanks my RVN for always trying ♡ 

Now my vocal cords need rest because I accidentally drank plain water (hahahah)

Work tomorrow, hoping for a smooth one Insyaallah! 

What was I thinking (00.46am)

I cant believe I agreed to a full shift later oh my lizard
Had a lovely day, went to cik ima's place for raya and it was a nice catch up session after so long.
The first child that said hi I was thinking "she looks so familiar hm ok la must be the eldest child"
And then the other one came out and im like "wAit THIS is the eldest child but is this the same person no she isnt"
And then the first child came out again and I realise she was the baby we grew up playing with :')
Like miranda sings say, what the even heck
And then the youngest one told me she wanted to play but we had to leaveee and then she cried aw hunty we'll come back soon

And then headed to rehearsal where we kinda finished singing through a song (hahahaha aka me bullcrapping my notes cause where got time)
(Jk i'll put in effort ok promise hahaha)
Mission learn my notes by wednesday activated
But ya my excuse was I only listened to raya songs over the past week hahahaha valid excuse btw
Went home to a jollibee treat by rashposh silly billy yoyobean which is so precious and delicious (ay it rhymes)

Like I said i'll be working full shift I wonder why I do this to myself please ok me in the future stop agreeing to full shifts you know for sure youre gonna crash halfway
(Ok im being dramatic I survived 100% of the full days I worked hahahah I think time just passes by extra slowly when I have hours and hours ahead of me)
Oh well mind over matter
At least im hoping for sunshine por favor
Ok I shall rest!

//edit//

03.26am

Why am I being muy rudados to myself by not sleeping I dont get it (but do I really have to no I dont)

pps missing great khali in this stylo selfie ♡

//edit//

04.32am

Pls dont guilt trip myself by asking why im awake but anyway usually when I change my profile picture i'll privatize the post but this time I didnt and by the time I wanted to hide it there were likes and I cant with Love reacts cause like aww u cared enough to not just click on Like hahaha too nice 

More importantly how in cow's nest am I gonna survive the day ahead (Ok kidding ive done this like all the while hahahaha k bye)

I pray for an eased day ahead

//edit//

06.54am

You know what I feel like doing I feel like leaving for work early and hanging out at the beach for a bit before entering work doesnt that sound lovely but it just finished raining (this phrase sounds weird) and idk whatever I shall just go get ready now

//edit//

Maigah the last 1.5 hours of work was bad hahah but I survived with 3 other humans! 

Anyway what the even heck I had SO many texts today all coming in at the same time trying to make plans with me and asking my availability like bruhs why would you disturb me at the same day at the same time muy rudados 

Ok im on my way home bye 

What a blessing (00.07am)

What an amazing first 3 days of raya with the family :')
Love how it was the weekends so more visiting
Usually it'd be a one day affair and we'd have to wait for the next weekend boo
Ok brb

//edit//
01.57am

Scrolled through my feed tonight and I only see two kinds of captions (and they all sound alike wtheck)
1) Finally my turn to fly (plane emoji, passport photos)
2) (insert a raya pickup line) Dont slap me
Number 2) posts are mostly girls lol
K la bye I want to rest

//edit//
04.47am

The semblance of normalcy is gone again hahaha ive been sleeping before 2 and waking up early the past 2 days
It's gone now but thankfully im not working later.
Rehearsal at night but looking forward for an adventure in the day

//edit//
04.58am

Ok I feel like reflecting hahah
It is definitely easier to sweep things under the carpet, to have a mutual agreement to ignore whatever happened and be the "bigger person" and making yourself feel better.
Remove yourself from the trap you yourself created and find joy again.
But that is a cowardly move.
Not wrong, and definitely unnecessary if your goal in life is to live it in ignorance and not honour.

Lessons unexpected (00.40am)

What makes a good person, good?
Is it those who stand by their ideals, even if it meant fighting for it at the expense of others?
Is it those who puts respect above all, despite disagreements and conflicts?
Is it those who goes beyond this and seeks to understand people who are different from who they are?
I can put a million scenarios and the end question remains the same; what makes a good person?
Are you good if there are noone out there to acknowledge the good, is the isolation a test or a sign that your idea of good is just wrong?
Whatever my ideal good is, this everchanging constant ideal might be, tonight I acknowledge that I am not a good person yet.
But good can not be a state, it can be the actions we choose to take and the thoughts we fill our heads with.
It could be the self reflection we choose to exercise

Sometimes we have to practice stopping to think because it might not be second nature during crucial moments, where what we say or do may make or break situations.

//edit//
01.50am

Anyway im really happy this year's raya is on a friday so like long weekend galore!

SELAMAT HARI RAYA! (10.10am)

Honestly thought I blogged but obviously not
Looking forward to more houses today!

Great timing folks (01.16am)

I absolutely love how everyone starts texting me when im busy like wow who updated yall are so accurate
Ok

//edit//
02.47am

BESOK RAYA!!!! ♡

//edit//
19.05pm

Really emotional that in a few minutes will be the last buka for Ramadhan this year.
May all our deeds, big or small, seen or unseen, be accepted by Him.
Busy with raya prepping now, might want/need to go to the bazaar tonight I need my fireworks!
And I finally got my orange keropok I cant I was so happy to see it and I will might hide it
(hahahah i still love 'will might' put together it reflects the sureness within my indecisiveness)
Ok brb

I survived that long? (01.26am)

I actually have worked for a month guys can we believe it hahah
During the interview she said i'll just need a week of training as compared to the usual month.
But it did take a few weeks for me to feel fully comfortable and understand the mixed instructions hah
I think partly cause I dont like pretending to be busy like why would I do that if im busy im busy if not i'll loiter cause I deserve to
Also im at this weird transition phase where they have to be reminded that I still dont know how to do some things and everytime that whole "Oh you dont know?" thing happens it reminds me that hey im still new ok give chance
But when my new workmates are loster (hah lobster) than me it reminds me that ive survived this long
Ok I promised chiqa a trip to Giant at 1.30 and it's 1.29 now ahahais brb

Hm interesting (02.59am)

Just woke up after falling asleep right as I got home from work hahaha
And the house is still bright cause ele is cleaning and mama is baking and chiqa is chiqaing
I will probably eat early and then nap to ensure maximum security hahahah soz idk what im talking drunk
So many things to entertain and im lowkey glad I fell asleep first
I hope the summit will not halt my journey to work too much, and most of all may it be a productive one- I mean they are meeting in the land of fun so pls respect the branding
Here's to steps towards peace and prosperity, though I despise the fact that two humans have the power to "decide" this.
We are the world man 7 billion of us and there are more important aspects of humanity we have yet to acknowledge
K whatever it's too early (or late) in the day to care about things so byee
May we all have a blessed day ahead!

//edit//
15.10pm

Ended up sleepin and waking up two more times throughout the night and ok omg im boarding a bus again i swear buses choose to come whenever I start blogging kay wait motion sickness brb

//edit//
15.28pm

Had quite a smooth sailing day at work today (BUS came AGAIN) which I feel blessed for- or is it lowkey the pre-raya vibes I think so hahaha
Crossed one thing off my life to do list which is to be inside a mascot omg hahahaha I was so excited to wear a fat suit I couldnt stop hugging myself (the 2nd episode of SWAC aka West coast story kept playing in my head aka demdems asking "does this fat suit make me look fat?" and lovely tawni just says "you're wearing a fat suit?" Hahahahah but I had this convo alone within the mascot)
I ended the experience saying "That was fun!" and marsha was surprised saying it's the first time she heard anyone say that haahhaha
Probablemente my high heat tolerance helped too cause previous complaints were all "It is sooo hot in there" but meh it was normal.
The shoes were humongous though so it was so hard to walk in but it was fun either way I made humans smile ok hahahah
Bidding my colleagues "bye, selamat hari raya!" was bittersweet cause like sorry im leaving early but also like yay I have new friends

Ive been such a bad diarykeeper hahaha but rest assured i'll go back and edit the posts this past week.
Heading home to fetch chiqa before going out again
Ok let me relax
Ok nope mama just made me alight the bus cause chiqa is lazy to follow us so im going to meet her straight
Hahahaha k bye la brb la have a great day ahead

//edit//
18.53pm

Im home, im exhausted, and im ready to feast but all I can say is Elmo appeared a lot today both visually and aurally
Not that I mind, it cute

After forever (00.39am)

I had a lovely day.
Went for this mass iftar session at marsiling, and it was mass
But the people we were with made it worth it.
It was our usual gang, and it felt like forever since we hung out :')
I think we were extra emotional like it made us all so happy to reunite
Walked over to teh tarik where the mothers ran to play on the swings even before we sat down
I was just one corner with elephant enjoying the laughters from the group of adults who had been our gangmates since forever
May this friendship be a positive one always, and filled with love and blessings ♡
(Ele: why are we the only kids here- I knew it'd happen though. But adibo made an appearance soon after and we made a new friend which was his friend hahahah)

And I also have a full shift later today which i'll rock because im motivated that it's my last work day before raya
Im trying to make myself sleep soon so I can finally get a night's rest
Let's see!

//edit//
04.08am

Forced myself to try and sleep at 12.45am and I dont even feel like I got any sleep at all but I also had dreams and I woke up once to check my phone hahah confusing
Went to reverse check and sure enough, if I wanted to wake up at 4, 12.45am is the time to sleep.
This is so cool thanks scientists who found these out.

ps my dems' voice condition sounds bad D; Get well fast mi hermana

Wow (01.35am)

Cant blame me for my non-existant sense of time seeing that ive been spending whole days doing things hah
Ive been majorly occupied, now I just wanna take a breath and focus on raya prep!
Super super sad that ramadhan is ending soon.
I love this month.
It's just filled with blessings, miracles, forgiveness and change of hearts and it's just extremely special.
I pray for many more to come because I truly appreciate that He lent us such a great month.
Here's to a blessed, smooth week ahead

Good for the good? (05.01am)

Currently both settling down and waking up
Hang on
Just got back from macs after a supper session which started weird cause they were alighting the bus and at the literal last second asked if I wanted to join I almost got locked inside the bus ok (exaggeration but still)
Always happy to spend time with mis hermanas, and ice cream at midnight (ok who am I kidding, anytime) is always amazing
Meeting harmonix again in 14 hours time ahaha overly attached

//edit//
17.46pm

Dont ask why I always blog while im alighting or boarding a bus cause I have no idea
Im walking to plaza sing and im still freezing from the workplace aircon which I got rudely reminded of by the buses' coldness I cant even
Basking in the glory of sunshine now but it is windy and im about to enter the mall bluek
Oh im 1.5 hours early for a meeting hahah cause I was released earlier from work
Ok let me walk safely and not run into humans or walls

//edit//
18.02pm

Told myself to bring a jacket this morning cause it was rainy and super chilly but I was already wearing long sleeves and like I wasnt allowed jackets at work (which is so lame, hello wellbeing?) and I wasnt sure if the meeting was gonna be outdoors
Now I rugrat times 67
K im actually trying to stay awake hahahah

//edit//
Like 4 days later lol

Ended up having quite a productive meeting which ended with a macs session till 2am hah
Took the night rider with daya and keichi idk how we started singing choir songs and a ghost doll storytelling session
I just remembered us laughing like mad hahaha it was fun and drunk

Bad diary keeper (01.17am)

Wanted to be asleep by now but when I reached home 40 mins ago the whole fams were awake and bright hahaha so hais ok here I am about to be sleep deprived as usual
I realise my days have been so action packed like by the time I reach home I (try to) nap and wake up for sahur and then get ready for work and end work with rehearsals till late night and cycle repeats
But meh it's all good.
Except my lack of sleep makes me tired when im not doing anything (but like I said once I hit the pillows im wide awake again- it's like instant recharge hahahaha but cmon I could do better)
Ok idk what im typing anymore
Work has been getting better and more manageable alhamdulillah, despite the continuous mixed instructions and "advices" which is still really really reallly annoying and irks me- but this time round I have 2 other humans who feels my pain hahahaha so we got each other naise
And maybe it's also getting better because I decided to keep an open mind, and.... maybe..... because..... of..... colleagues......
K I will try to sleep but I dont feel tired but I know i'll need the rest

//edit//
09.12am

Once again He shows his blessings.
If infinity could be imagined, it's the amount of forgiveness and blessings bestowed by God.
It is his everlasting love and peace and I am forever grateful!
Here's to a blessed day ahead, may we all be under his guidance and protection.

//edit//
19.09pm

Managed to arrive in SMU and survived the process of obtaining food but why am I sleepyish
Was walking towards the vending machine to buy a drink when a wild little hidaya appeared
We had opposite ends of grabbing experience today hahah anyway it's always nice to see my harmonix
Had quite a smooth sailing day at work.
Sunshines and rainbows galore (omg emmaus almost read this not like it matters but not while in progress please)
(this sunshine thing is both literal and metaphorical btw)
Ok I shall buka now
Jemputzz

Ughhh always (00.24am)

I love my nocturnality but cmon I was so tired and sleepy the whole night but right as I hit the bed I AM WIDE AWAKE AND FRESH this is not cool

Always a cool thought (01.18am)

Im an extrovert (according to quizzes, mr myers briggs and other humans) who hates humans and love humans at the same time
Thus crowded places are weird cause like omG i love this we are all crowded together for a common goal!!! but at the same time im all Ew humans gross get away from me
Being at the Bazaar every year my sister and I always keep track of how many humans we know that we see (this is a very weird sentence but im too lazy to think)
Like you have to be at the right place at the right time for us to see each other or at least for me to notice your presence out of the thousands of other human beings
It's weirdcool.
Just yesterday at the bazaar I was telling Mark about this and guess who I saw like 5 mins later..... Daddy.
And tok busu and nek busu
It's like it totally COULD be the case that we dont even cross paths but I saw them TWICE!
First while we were looking for thai tea for rico, and daddy was walking towards a shop.
See if he wasnt walking towards the shop and was already in it, I probably wouldnt even see him
If I was walking behind my group of friends (as usual) I wouldnt have seen him.
If we had decided to cross the road (almost did), I wouldnt have seen him.
And then the second time was when we were hanging outside drinking from a bucket and a watermelon, deciding whether we were to follow Justine or go to Daya's place.
And daddy walked past me again hahahaha.
Love love.
So weird.
But I love how polite my hmx are around parents cause as normal as I thought that was, it is not always the case which is weird like why would you not be nice to your friends' parents are u dumb

Also I just got called to work later today
Should I sleep or start trying to watch a new drama series
Ok my hands are cramping bye

//edit//
20.03pm

Obviously I decided to watch the drama hahahaha very draggy beginning but meh picking up so i'll continue watching.
Managed to grab an hour plus of sleep and woke up to Along also getting ready for work so he he heee managed to get a ride
Currently waiting for the Shams to finish eating (they just arrived actually)
Had a chillish day at work today, fixed 2 new puzzles, one 3D and one normal one and it was quite fun not being disturbed hahahaha
Painted 2 superman logos but the 2nd one was ugly- first time the charm probably hahahah but to my defense a girl was full on disturbing me while I was painting the 2nd one
Ok im sleepy and they want to go bazaar after this pls wake me up insideeeee

Some time since I youthed (04.40am)

Finally settled down after a whole day with harmonix!
Rehearsed with RVN in the noon
Ok hang on will edit this post later my eyes are tired and doesnt want to see words

//edit//
23.39pm

Didnt feel like writing the whole day hahah even now actually
Will probably revisit this later
Quite a jam packed week ahead alongside the last 10 days of ramadan and raya preparations
Bless this journey!

Two words: Why even (00.57am)

Im exhausstedddd
Ok fake maybe in the exhaustion meter it'd be a 3/10 but in the tiredness meter it's a strong 6.3/10
Had a blessed annual iftar session at bedok earlier today, no idea why I was so sleepy I think it's the between-seasons feels.
Or is my period coming cause I usually get extraaaa tired right before and then when I realise what was happening I immediately perk up cause like "Hah u thought u got me"
I'd rather it come now than the last week!
Or dont come at all till after raya up to you.

Short rehearsal tomorrow before a mini harmonix outing!
Aka getting mentally prepared to tackle the bazaar on a Sunday

3 things in my brain
1) I accidentally spent 50$ on cab in two days (freaking 10$ ERPs WHAT EVEN, SINGAPORE?!) and I am so annoyed at myself but what's done is done but COME ON MAN

2) Do you like being the subject of something but in secret most probably no so dont do it to others por favor I notice your glances and unspoken words mate

3) have u ever seen someone so (ok i wouldnt say attractive but like idk) charming that you have to remind yourself to look away and/or breathe because I havent ha hah ah ok that is a lie it's like im not trying to start a fire with this flame but i just appreciate you as a human even though idk your name

Feels trip too early (05.40am)

Was scrolling through fb at 3am when I came across a movie recommendation, which usually i'd ignore in all its glory but I saw two words; Gerald anderson
Oh my Jr the last time I saw him was in tayong dalawa like 8 years ago
So I decided to check it out cause why not
And I learnt that after all these years he's still charming hahahaha ok not the point (ok kinda is)
The movie was actually good, scary in all its form but sometimes scary is what propels change.
So like all was good, JR got a new girlfriend and they seemed happy, but then there was still an hour left to the movie so I was like "oh2....."
It's about a guy who found hope in an unlikely group of friends (and a girl of course what's new) after losing his girlfriend and job.
He was doing so well away from civilization when he was woken up by reality- whatever joy he was experiencing was only real inside his head.
The second last scene where he made a choice to say goodbye to the universe in his head was so heartbreaking.
It reminded me as to just how scary and real mental illnesses are (schizophrenia in this case)
He was standing on a long bridge, with happiness on one side and uncertainty on the other.
He chose reality, he chose to leave the woman he loved and the place that helped him get back on his feet, a place where he learnt how to love himself again and a place that reminded him to smile.
When she said "Once you check out, you can never check in again" he realises that although it is difficult, this is a separation for good.
And it is, indeed.
He walked away without looking back.
I would've argued that happiness is happiness regardless of which reality he was in until there was a scene where he almost drowned while hallucinating (aka while he was in his happy place)
To think that there are people out here who does not even realise that they have separate realities is troubling.
Today I pray for those who ails, and for those who takes care of the ill.
May you be granted patience and health.
May you be rewarded limitlessly and your affairs be eased.
And to the rest of us-
Let us make full use of our physical and mental capabilities in being supportive and inclusive.
It's always easier said than done, but we could always attempt to make this world a little brighter.

RAYA SONGS!!! (01.08am)

I cant man everytime I hear raya songs on the radio I end up smiling to myself and commences a sing-along session
Aka I dont feel like sleeping cause mummy's making kuihs and suddenly Suasana hari raya plays and now I feel like eating things

//edit//
01.21am

Chiqa is feeding me food hahaha love mi baby
I forgot to share an important thing, while walking to Macs at grammy's place, walked past a puppy who stood and waved hello at me that was so precious and important :')

//edit//
13.36pm

Why do I only feel sleepy nearing the end of my break what kind of rudeness is this I do not accept this man couldve been napping since just now
So far it's been okay, so many cute friendly babies eehehe
Ok I am sleepy but I have to start walking back in 2 mins which is lame
K bye

//edit//
23.50pm

Currently munching on honey cornflakes aka the best ones ever made by mama
No idea what time I fell asleep, probably before 9pm
Struck with lame fever flu cause workplace was too cold and I was doing cleaning- not that I minded cause babies deserve cleaniness
But this is the kind of fever that doesnt feel uncomfortable so it's all good
Exciting weekend ahead
Hopefully i'll get another nap between now to sahur, though unlikely
Ok bye

ps today had more annoying crappy occurrences than usual but there were also a lot of blessings and joy so I choose to look there