17.53pm

Almost panicked thinking it's April first and I didnt prank anyone 

Heheh

Barely survived today's training but wow @ me, just wow

It's very tiring, very enjoyable and my throat hasnt felt this dry in forever lol but im a strong one mr grinch

2/5 days down, I still feel like it's just a workshop but it's actual work training and it's so weird that it's that serious

I probably have a bruise on the weirdest place, (the wrist of my feet wtheck is it even called HAHAHA google jap wait)

(K bye im in circle line there is no service here)

K bye again

18.23pm

Subahanallah

Had a very trying morning but everything else turned out beautifully thanks to His grace

Very tired

Thanks to my lack of sleep and dehydration

At least I got to nap in the Disney office (epic, btw)

Never thought i'd step foot into a Disney office this early in my life but yayy to new experiences!

Although WHY does it gotta be at the dreaded One-north hahahaha I thought my constant journeys to Mediacorp was enough

Also my Ryde driver totally owes me 70 cents pls ahahaha jk im not calculative but like I took the ryde at 8.20am and only reached at 9.15am- bruh

Reached nenek's and settled baby yayan who is having a high fever and now I am taking time to myself to recuperate

But alhamdulillah, survived today

Although technically got choir after this but it's at 7.45pm which is so early at least make it 8.30pm

Okay tired

I shall rest 

14.31pm

I had to click on the Rey finally punching Dominik video and bruh the crowd was on fire

Im trying not to cry challenge seeing the outpour of love for my reyrey

I wished I could be there in person to see him get inducted 

I failed my child self by not seeing taker's and WHO IN THE HECKY DOODLE (NOT ME) would expect reyrey to be literally headlining the next year

My heart cannot take this

01.40am

Why

Worst sides

Right people

Dillemma

Cant put into words tonight 

But

Felt like writing anyway

Night bird morning owl 

Same

Youthful

How much more patience within me-

Could it actually be unlimited?

When to let be and when to shake up 

Will I ever know

Or will I just have to wait to find out

+==edit==+

18.17pm

I just reread some old posts from 2017 and sis I wrote so long and detailed in the posts which is CORRECT

Present me should learn from past me

This month is a lot of putting myself second but most of it is out of love

Ultimately I know to just do what I want to do 

Break fasting with somemonix later i cri when was the last time that happened :') 

Should leave soon but there's a student beside me doing work and I patiently await trying not to fall asleep ahaha

10.48am

Construction at home, construction at grandma's house

Cant a girl get some peace!!!

Sesungguhnya aku berpuasa 

07.34am

Every year, one month a year, I have to keep reminding myself not to grab an ice cube when walking past the fridge

I swear I accidentally pop one into my mouth and then realising- like once every 2 years

Heheh

Ramadhan mubarak to all of us

The inertia feels stronger, I think cause it's so close to the new year and I didnt mentally prepare for it but

Bismillah and may this be a better Ramadhan than previous years 

Aminnn 

15.36pm

Sometimes wished I was heartless

It would allow me to enjoy things without any semblance of hurt

Dabs

20.53pm

Successively appeared on tv and bruh the mortifying ordeal of being known

So cringe at the thought of people seeing me but it's ok as long as I dont see it i'll be fine

HAhaha drama

Im currently sitting across yayarn and nenek, watching sepahtu on tv and just ate bazaar food

Good night though I was supposed to end my babysitting day at noon and then go for my own adventures

Ended up staying but his cute little face is worth it 

23.17pm

Tried so hard to remember yesterday because I was trying to explain to my concert group how the parts sound in my head; it's like knights and specifically the statues that dropped from hogwarts walls when summoned by mcgonagall in the battle of hogwarts

Suddenly lying around right now I remember the spell; Piertotum locomotor 

14.07pm

Im gonna get emotional watching reyrey videos

But i cant not watch them!!!

Te amo mi numero uno T.T 

16.12pm

Alhamdulillah, having a much better week than the last 

Yayan just knocked out after his bath which is so funny cause usually even when he's asleep he'll stir and move when we move but this one is just tired like he just finished working overtime 

He even napped 3 hours in the morning which let me nap too so

Yoda best yayarn 

♡

05.57am

Exactly 24 hours out of the house and finally settled down

Eyes have been ready to rest but my brain is like Omg Buenos Dias!!

Ugh I shouldnt have typed in spanish makes me emotional all over again about reyrey being inducted already cried 2.5 times i

Ok good morning to the normal beings and,

Goodnight sweetdreams to me

13.03pm

I needed alone time to feel and release

But obligations call me

Again, 

What hurts most is having to put up a strong front

Oh Allah, help me go through today.

I put my heart in your hands, the hands that will never hurt or let me doubt for a second

Protect me.

+==edit==+

16.03pm

When god already made it easier on the heart, why still fight to feel?

Be present.

In the present everything is okay.

Im happy,

I just brought yayan to the playground for the first time and he fell asleep right when we got home

Im waiting for spicy nuggets which is done cause the airfryer just dinged

Im drinking iced green tea and even though I have zero data it's still so fast for the first time ever

In the present, everything is okay

Ultimately, all is well

10.52am

Eh annoying eh

Im rereading my posts and how obscure and undetailed can i be

I had to check my calendar to see what I was referring to on which days

Wow

Note to self: blog like you mean it!!!

Ok that being said

Survived 3 days of full day babysitting, and ended it with a dinner with doya where we ended up freezing until almost 5am 

Had a zoom interview at 10am just now but it was basically a question and answer 

The interviewer asked who's my favourite disney character and why

Me: sharpay evans

HHAHHAHA same 

Ok bye 

02.41pm

Tried to avoid all ptx related posts

I called it their off mic song will be My heart with you and they'd sing Be my eyes

My heart is SO SAD!!!!!

I was asleep for the past 4 hours probably 

Why did I do this to myself 

+==edit==+

19.29pm

The loneliness is real man

But it's ok

Myrepublic is acting like circles did right before I unsubscribed

So yes the universe is supporting my lack of connections

Dabs 

13.32pm

In 20% less pain than last night but still

Very very sad that I wont be going for pentatonix tonight

Even typing that feels unreal

I hate that thought!!!

So I shall live in denial for now

Baby finally fell asleep

I think im gonna crash too before he wakes up for next feeding

02.50am

Exhausted and in physical pain kinda

Have been out for 20 hours and awake for longer

Gotta be up in basically 5 hours 

Another long day tomorrow, and then three full days of babysitting

Already tired for future me but I hope for our sake she somehow gets some rest somewhere to recharge cause from the looks of it... aahhaha

Today was supposed to be the recharge leisure day I even got a massage but lolol the cik is so tiny but so strong I was hurting in places I never knew existed

I guess in a good way, idk

Ok im more than ready to crash

But-

Good to know I dont cross your mind

+==edit==+

03.42am

No joke eh, im actually in too much pain to fall asleep

The cold weather is making the pain worse

The irony of needing to rest to recharge but too tired to fall asleep 

Help

11.17am

In recent years 2nd March has been one of my favourite days just cause I cant stop making Two March jokes

Merry March (13.38pm)

Thank you, February.

Sometimes god returns the favour to those who wronged you so immediately, and so subtly, it reminds you to reflect on your own words and behaviour.

Dear God, please don't make me someone who hurts others by my words and actions. 

Let me take care of hearts, as many as I can carry