13.29pm

Was in a happy place but people around me just love to challenge me dont they

Whatever, elevate

Doesnt make it less annoying but it's not painful for me to let go and let god

But also like people must stop making me wait for them especially when we made plans

Im the late one in EVERY relationships dont take my job

+==edit==+

13.51pm

So suddenly muddled so I thought I would feel better if I ate

My first scoop of rice i realised i was using 2 spoons

Metal spoons

Who does that

02.02am

It's probably done but I hope Judy has a smooth and safe labour ♡

Havent caught up with vlogs but still very much immersed and very excited to see Leah's little sibling

+==edit==+

05.18am

My bedtime has been quite consistently 7am-9am and then afternoon nap

What a phase 

21.34pm

Have had a blessed few days

Feels like the heart I give out without any hopes of returns did return

Alhamdulillah

Currently looking at the sea and seeing planes fly into Singapore every minute

Usually i'd be annoyed at the noise but now it just means things are okay

And im grateful and thankful and cmon planes, bring it on (right as I typed this the distant rumbling of an approaching plane began)

02.45am

What a week it has been

Both uneventful and very eventful

What matters is im occupied with things im passionate about

Had my first theatre rehearsal after... 8 years

+==edit==+

20.34pm

Just found a picture of my first time at vivo during its opening week

We were in skirts and heels but when we got to the rooftop- there were THINGS TO BE CLIMBED 

So we did 

Hahaha and now idk how many years on it's still my fav mall 

+==edit==+

22.05pm

There's something about... people who weren't privileged to learn about Allah while growing up

And given such challenges in life

Who still tries to seek Him and remind each other of Him

Ya Allah my heart 

May you ease their affairs, and ease our journey towards your acceptance

Thank you for still letting your light live within us that we remember you not just in times of darkness, but especially when things go good

+==edit==+

23.00pm

Im so happy

I just finished cooking, an anyhow recipe as usual (when I say anyhow I mean I just see what's infront of my eyes calling my name and I put it inside the wok

Ele tasted it and she said it tastes almost exactly like one of nenek's signature dish 

Like wew im sure I used totally different things (like... dipping sauce I used dipping sauce in the dish) and I didnt even use salt but yay yay

But also again the worst part about my cooking habit is if im craving it again or someone asks me to cook it again... I have no idea I am as clueless as you are

HAHAHA potentially literally once in a lifetime dishes im making right here in my own kitchen

Lolol k drama k bye

01.01am

Whoa ive never missed so many days of blogging

First of all, Happy first birthday Muhammad Fahri Qaizer

You're a blessing and cant wait to teach you things hehe

Secondly I love jalaning raya and alhamdulillah the weekends have been filled with it

Thirdly I had a fun weekend

Started off both days with jalan raya, and then;

On Saturday went for rehearsearl aka fake open house, I love my people they make me happy

On Sunday went to Lasalle grad show for a while (aka definitely going back) and then went back to NTU on a Sunday evening wew but turned out to be a lovely evening

Even got a beautiful hair bun chopstick that I adore

Today I had script reading via zoom for a (surprise) theatre show I somehow got through for

My scheduled livestreaming work from 26-29 May was cancelled without prior notice so somehow I have the week free lol but it's ok, I am happy to have free time

I shall find things to do but for now I am excited at the prospect of Hmx alumni going back together for rehearsals

But also I failed in my weekend quest cause noone's house had the orange keropok i cri

I wont give up, raya is one month HAHAHA

+==edit==+

03.04am

I realise when in my happy place, it's always the same things I want to do

Just found a memo of to do list in 2017 and it's exactly the things I want to do now

00.47am

Ohayo 

I am here to declare that I have a weekend quest

I will go raya and find houses with orange keropok and finish it all 

Ive had a major lack of orange keropok this year

This is not ok and I shall avenge myself

+==edit==+

03.59am

The very week I had to restart working, my body just decides it doesnt want to fall asleep

Pls the past 3 days my eyes are fighting my brain 

My eyes just want some rest but my brain is like it's ok sleep is optional we're not tired!!! 

Lolol thankfully my obligations the upcoming week does not include morning plans

Although I already miss being a morning bird but you know me i'll just let my body do what it wants when it comes to bedtime

I also had to do my skincare mirrorless cus elephant stole my mirror and didnt return it im so annoyed

My eyes are heavy, my back is slightly better 

Here's to a better day today 

19.38pm

Alone at home on a Friday night again

What is new

03.47am

Highkey in disbelief that i'd be back in the kids club in 6 hours

Not sure I have the same stamina and energy level but there's something about first days that just gives you the adrenaline at least

So many things in my mind currently about one thing so I dont get to process kids clubbing

Ahahah ok bye

+==edit==+

08.43am

Helpz

I couldnt fall asleep it was quite torturous

My alarm rang 40 mins ago but I just cant even

+==edit==+

21.17pm

Started the day late to work and ended up with a sore back from constant bending

Didnt really have a good time at work but it's cause working with new people is always annoying like you need to restart the flow and ugh I have no time, interest nor energy for that

The only bright side was someone bought me coffee in the morning 

And the kids I got to play with and look after

One of them even wrote me an I love you card oh my heart!!! ♡

Honestly half of me dont want to go back tomorrow but half of me thinks if I manage to sleep tonight and be well rested maybe it'll be better

Im just a motivated being who is excited to do everything but I just want the right vibes around me you know hahaha

Cant wait for e.a.r.l to be my full time job lol pfft 

22.44pm

Have been such a bad blogger but does it mean Ive been occupied from awake time to asleep time

23.16pm

Friyay the thirteenth (23.43pm)

Had a fun Friday even though my body is incapable of resting

03.24am

Had such a lolrandom sociable day

+==edit==+

17.14pm

Man the weather is a dream

It even made me want to do laundry

It was so nice hanging the clothes out facing the bright blue almost cloudless sky 

I almost want to leave the house right now and bask in the sunshine but firstly I have been going out everyday this week for fun so today is a bit of chores day for me

Secondly I have a full week ahead, i'm going back to kids club soon!!! 

Im already tired before starting but hashtag yolo hope all goes well

Weather so good it's giving me mood to clean up hashtag just virgo things lol jk k bye

05.09am

I found in my memo my wednesday plan was to wake up at the time mama and chiqy wakes up for school/work

But i havent even slept yet so looks like that plan is going down the drain

But it's ok im ok with it

+==edit==+

07.00am

Genuinely cant remember the last time I put the moon to sleep and be a vampire and fall asleep when the sun comes up or not at all depending on my day plans

+==edit==+

16.07pm

Random but blinking is so weird

It's something we do so often

Hahahaha yes very insightful blog post

Im actually reaching vivo right now, happy place

15.50pm

Interesting what different people values

For me I think nothing beats having freedom and time

23.50pm

23.12pm

Some days like today I just dont want to remove my makeup ahahaha 

Had a beautiful day

Finally I get to jalan raya hehehe 

01.36am

I have never eaten popeye's chicken sandwich and didnt even know it was a thing thing until it appeared on GMM and at that point in time literally just nice I just saw an ad saying sg's popeyes chicken sandwich was "coming back soon"

It's a different feeling cause usually you discover things too late (like Wendy's, I miss you, why did you have to go, come back n give us frostys and chilli burgers) but this time round im not

And boy it is delicious ahahahaha I ate it twice in a month I think

K this is me who has not eaten dinner talking

I am, despite talking about chicken sandwich, feeling liek eating maggi ive been imagining the soupy goodness for the past hour

But if we all know me, we all know she will end up just not eating due to pure laziness and then happily fall asleep hahhaah

Also dan's tour- no singapore ofcus we be knewn (but he is going to so many places wew it's a great start i guess)

And I want to jalan raya plEASE 

+==edit==+

12.52pm

You know what's dumb

Is when tiktok videos make their way to fb and I click on it and the person keeps pausing every few seconds like Technology is advanced you can record hours of videos non stop and now u cant even talk without stopping and starting

K bye why noone ask me jalan raya im so bored 

+==edit==+

15.16pm

OK second day in a row being left alone at home 

Anyway i saw a comment on fb a girl said her dad loved wwe so much if he's asleep he'll wake up when he hears wrestling on tv

It is literally me HAHAHA I can be really asleep but I will just wake up when I hear wrestling omg I thought it was just me 

Magic

05.34am

I want jalan raya more pls

+==edit==+

14.26pm

I am a strong lady im literally a wrestler

But I struggle with opening things like bottle and currently my lip oil

HAHAHAHA you know why it's only because my hand has no grip I think 

It's so annoying that i actually injure myself trying to open bottles and id rather be dehydrated than try again

K idk why im saying this im just frustrated at my lip oil right now k bye

p.s well what do you know right after hitting post i managed to open the lip oil so yes writing helps HAHAHAH

06.11am

Ohayo

The way I never woke up at this timing when I actually had to for work

Haha

Also woke up with a Dan howell world tour announcement wot even (ngl, wished it was a dnp but also World tour doesnt always include singapore anyway)

But also it's been fouR years since he last posted that feels so weird

I havent watched his new video but ive read the comments and I just have to say;

Youtube truly had the best creators and content before its algorithm games forced a lot of their talents (who were there for true passion and not fame) to compromise and eventually leave (I CRY ABOUT RHPC i miss ryan and gang so much) because they no longer can stand the competition and lack of integrity

I'd much rather have the smaller pool with their quality content than current youtube with many trash and a lot of content 

I'd literally feel more worth it to pay premium if the pool was like previously because I know i'll be getting quality videos with people I actually care about

Nowadays I still stick to the same creators ive watched since sec school, so to see any of them leave is bittersweet and crazy weird- it's like we grew up together, I knew so much about you and suddenly nothing (like how michelle phan first left, im so happy she's back ryan your turn to come back too)

Ok thiz is not a 6am convo k bye lol

03.19am

Just look at how I have reverted to natural tendencies

The feeling of not having office work anymore is so long overdue

Why did I even agree to the contract it brought me nothing hahaha but eh got hikmah

Anyway I can only do selfies cus noone knows how to take correct pictures of me (but also fake news I dont even participate in the phototaking session ahahaha) k bye

+==edit==+

23.32pm

After a whole afternoon of unable to get out of bed, spent the evening in vivo which made me so happy it's quite funny how my whole family missed vivo HAHAHA especially me I missed vivo

Walked2 and had a good dinner, sprayed myself with glitter perfume cus I love glitter I would love to shimmer unnecessarily everytime thank you very much

Speaking of perfume I very much am enjoying the return of testers (ESPECIALLY FOR SCENTS I had to blindly buy hair mists/perfumes and google for reviews the last time I tried to buy them) AND the removal of checkins- it felt good to not reach into my bag everytime entering a shop 

Salam lebaran, Singapura (00.01am)

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI!!!

I dont know what im feeling im both too tired and not tired at all

Some years this timing we'd either still be spring cleaning or at bazaar enjoying the vibes, going to bed late and feeling exhausted for no reason hahahah but it's very very fun

Listening to the takbir and my feet is blistered AGAIN haish it barely healed the last time

I guess got hikmah I didnt find cute heels this year

Just stood at the bus stop for one hour listening to two makciks talk

Everytime I think about sitting down I think they'll be done soon but in the end it was. one. hour.

So yes I guess it does explain me being both tired and not cause I am physically used but not meaningfully 

I miss you already Ramadan, thank you Allah for bringing us through it 

I have no energy to remove my makeup

I hope my blisters heal overnight cause how is sis going to Jalan raya glamorously later

Hehe anyway, im sure this raya is extra meaningful especially cause of the ease of restrictions

And to those hurting tonight, May Allah ease the pain and burdens you're feeling. May he grant you peace and light in this blessed month insyaallah

May we all have a safe and happy first day of Syawal!!!!

♡♡♡

+==edit==+

23.00pm

Homed, settled, early (cus tomorrow people work/school BOO where is the fairness)

But anyway

Words cannot explain how happy I feel today

Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah

Thank you for the sweetness of this syawal Ya allah

I feel so... happy 

That's all I can say

Gathering with the big family after 2 years feels surreal!

♡♡♡

Now this is usually the time I go on to like everyone's insta and fb posts of their family photos and (usually pretentious but you do you go feel pretty lol i cannot relate whatsoever) OOTDs

K bye

SeLAMAT HARI RAYA!!!!

I can SCREAM seeing all the families in their matching outfits IT IS TOO BEAUTIFUL and I kept screaming Selamat hari raya to all the families I see hehehe I think we feel the collective joy 

30 Ramadan (06.10am)

Selamat hari raya to most countries!!! Im happy for you but also kesian malaysia got taken by surprise HAHAHA but I can imagine how lively and tiring it must feel to be forced to stay up and prepare everything within hours

Hahah anyway idk why people upset, I feel so very blessed to have another day of ramadan- I mean despite all doubts and arguments all we can do is trust our leaders' judgements insyaallah!

I dont think non muslims could ever understand how much ramadan means to us, and how sad leaving it is (ok time for time-perception debate; is ramadan leaving us or are we leaving it? Hehe i like this line of thought- I think I feel more in control of time so we are leaving it, as we march forward deeper into may) (lol not entirely true, i just not thinkin right now)

Also what kind of special it is that we get so many months of specialness- even beyond ramadan and syawal 

We truly are blessed alhamdulillah no words can describe His blessings and rahmat upon us all

Here's to a blessed, beautiful and blessed again last day of ramadan 2022!

Also I finally managed to wake up for sahur after 3 days of failing to do so out of pure exhaustion so alhamdulillah for that

Ok, happy fasting!!!!

+==edit==+

06.28am

Random but my body immediately switching back to being a night owl when I have off days is testament to my true circadian rhythm 

Funny how the only way to give me a regular sleep schedule is via exhaustion but also if the source of exhaustion is fun (like framework filming days) im just perpetually ready to go 

+==edit==+

06.50am

Just reading a few of my old posts and 2 things

1) sometimes I sound like I dont speak english wtheck is greatful and admitantly HAHA must be past me malas to backspace 

2) so annoying when past me says 'i will blog in detail' and DOESNT cus present me dont remember the details anymore hmph

Anyway just to share a story

Like three days ago on my 2nd last day of work the HR came to give away chocolates given by some polish ambassador for us to share 

She was like I dont have the ingredients list but it's from a hotel in singapore and I dont think got alcohol

In normal cases I wont even take them la cause I doubt the halalness but work was ending, she was desperate to get rid of it (she even asks us to take 3 each), and my colleague who is a makcik accepted it (she gave hers to me afterwards cus she dont eat sweets HAHAHA she just accept cause again, the HR girl seemed eager to get rid of it and not many people were in the office and it was almost 5pm)

So I just brought it home, no intentions of eating the chocolates at all but just in case I tried googling where the chocolate might come from, to no avail

Then right before buka I was making coffee and the tazkirah on the radio talked about how important consuming halal is

And I felt so protected!!!!

Like a direct message from the universe, ok not even like, it WAS a direct message lol

Reminds me of a recent post I saw on fb by a singaporean chinese revert where she was explaining to her non-muslim dad the concept of barakah- one of which is being given the guidance to make good decisions

It's so true btw I love it when feelings get translated into words

Although there is a quote that says words are like a net, it can only capture some but not entireties 

Which hmm idk I think can just need the vocab and patience to explain lOl k bye why am I blogging so much can u tell im not sleepy yet

+==edit==+

09.06am

Random but the tale of three brothers animation in deathly hallows is so beautiful props to the animators 

 

+==edit==+

12.44pm

Brought myself out, on a weekday morning!

Granted it is a public holiday so the outside world was a bit crowded but still!!

Didnt find any raya shoes I liked but still!

Yay

+==edit==+

13.02pm

I just paid my own zakat fitrah for the first time ever :O

Alhamdulillah

Merry May (00.20am)

Didn't even realise it is May until my fb memory says bestie and cousin's birthday this month

Here's to a month of fearless yoloness, sunshine and carelessness