01.24am

I love 31st in months cause 30ths always get me off guard 

Officially a wrap on The framework filming

From a mere concept to now having all the shots (well, excluding some secondary audio and VFXs)

I'm so proud of the team and happy to be part of it!

I rarely mix with people younger than me so I had to tolerate the gen zness but ok la besides the constant vaping, swearing and tiktoks, I survived spending that much time with them HAHAHA oof the generation gap is real 

Now is the part that to me is both most fun and most dreadful- content managing

This is the part that is the cause of my unedited vlogs since 2018 hahahahahah 

But maybe editing surrounded by other people editing will push me a bit

So annoying that I have work later 

But it's ok, I survived more than half the week of daily going-into-offices

I havent eaten proper food since monday night and tonight I have proper food but im too tired to think about hunger

K bye

03.52am

Fell asleep at like 10 and now I interrupted my own dream by waking up abruptly and being too confused to continue my dream

Confused more like Oo I havent been up this timing in so long

08.33am

Just realised I can go maskless outdoors TODAY

So exciting I already have a lipstick in mind

+==edit==+

11.36am

Didnt even wear the lipstick I thought of but hahaha 

Anyway firstly why my office now no wifi and 4g connection is WEAK!!!

Secondly it's 2022 why do we still have formalities why are some people paid to treat you nicely (thinking of air stewardesses particularly) it's so backwards why cant we just be humans who are decent losers I hate it

Lunchtime

p.s. me asked the IT mr and he says The company didnt pay the bills thats why no wifi UM HELLO COMPANY lozer 

+==edit==+

21.52pm

Today turned out well afterall 

Didnt rush for work so I managed to not grab (until the last lap... it's 3$ thank you gojek)

Didnt bring lunch but as I was gonna take out my cup to make coffee (spoiler alert; i didnt make coffee) I saw a cup of instant porridge I didnt even remember I kept 

Rained super heavy at the last hour of work but instead of being mindlessly stuck in the office, papa was in the office so I got a ride home

So yay alhamdulillah

Super excited yet sad that tomorrow evening will officially be the last day of Framework filming!

I can't tell what im feeling right now im not hungry or sleepy but im not not hungry and not not sleepy 

Im just existing

Wouldve been a good evening to talk to or hang out with friends if I had any lol

K bye goodnight I guess

07.30am

...... cant bring myself to get up for work

Bleh

19.38pm

Cant remember the last time I hibernated

Today was that day

God knows I need it in lieu of having to be in the office everyday next week even though I already know it's a waste of time 

At least I have the framework shooting on weds afternoon to look forward to, so that's a really good midweek motivation! 

11.26am

The more posts I see about Triple H's in-ring retirement, the more ache my heart feels

It hasn't sunk in properly I will cry I know it

p.s i shouldve been packing to go to the US now to see myself get inducted into HOF.. :(

04.10am

Me having to go into office today is such a scam

+==edit==+

10.32am

Turns out I am currently at the polyclinic 

My back HURTS I cant even bend a bit to find things inside my bag lol 

Pushing the heavy trolley on a carpeted floor does that to you I guess

+==edit==+

14.59pm

I hate youtube shorts

If you wanna be short go on instagram (which STILL doesnt work for me and I checked playstore and loads of other people is having the same issue ugh)

11.29amm

So excited I typed m twice in am

My dream is coming true I shall go maskless next week onwards!!!!!!!!!

Ok fine outdoors but im mostly outdoors anyway so

K bye

+==edit==+

13.44pm

Me: brings earpiece

Also me: enjoys the peace and quiet and doesnt use earpiece

Lol lunchbreak now and wanted to go down to mbs and walk2 but I just cant resist a nice unbothered corner 

I dont even need food I just love to be left to be peaceful 

K bye 

+==edit==+

15.28pm

Really cant tell if the tailbone pain is cause of bumpy van rides or my period I get back pain but never at the tailbone oh well

It hurts to sit wew 

No joke it even hurts to relax my muscles

Dang it

08.03am

At this very second, the words "And the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true" is hitting hard

Am I just not dreaming hard enough I think so 

+==edit==+

09.19am

Currently at a seminar

I kind of loathe the corporate world

I hate many things about it

So being here gives me the creep hAHAHAH jk drama I just hate it k bye

My colleague is so nice she packed me lunch and breakfast

+==edit==+

12.41pm

Now I know why both my colleagues fell asleep during the seminar yesterday

The low murmurs of everyone combined is literally white noise 

HAHAHAH if I focus on that I could also fall asleep

Not now la, I got enough sleep

Anyway not me wanting to go for casting but literally have no photos of myself

How like this

15.32pm

Day idk what of not being able to use instagram

Im only sad cus I cant visual blog on it

And of course daily dose of memes but still have fb for that

My visual blog though >:(

Work ending in an hour

Taking my own sweet time to do things cause im ready to leave this place

+==edit==+

18.27pm

Cant recall the last time I was home in the afternoon

The past week especially has been such a daze- a jam packed daze

I havent gotten the time to sit down and organize my contents and thoughts, not even my bag pls haha

Two days of work but NOT in office so yay about that

I just want to eat rice pls ahaha I ate instant porridge with chips for lunch and maggi with chips for dinner im thankful but I also want rice hehe 

This is like the first free time im having in a while so im embracing it kinda

Ok bye

+==edit==+

18.45pm

Tried to recalibrate by reading my blog posts from like 2 weeks ago and I feel so disassociated from that person hahahaha

Im meant for the fun hustle that makes me happy and also free time whenever I want it hehe k bye I might fall asleep soon who knows 

10.19am

My power move is using my work laptop to give my one month notice

Im ready to leave this trash 

05.21am

A second of breather. 

A moment of shut eye.

A very hustly 13 days straight is over for now.

As happy as my body is to finally get some rest, im sad that the hustling is paused for now

I am astounded how despite all the challenges (and there are challenges i will share when im recharged I have documented all of them somewhere) i'd still rather in a heartbeat do it all over again than spend a day in the office

Have been sleeping at grandma's house the past 2 nights, and tonight too 

Also my lower back is hurting after the long, bumpy van ride (are we in a van or a boat)

We literally wrapped the shoot around 11 but we just got home and settled down now

The exhaustion is real

Mama is going for massage later and it sounds so necessary for me too but i'd probably hibernate (if even possible- this household is lively in the morning sleep is for the weak)

Ok, my eyes are so heavy

My instagram is still down despite uninstalling, installing for 7 times, restarting my phone and whatever else

Also oh my gosh,

Entered a theatre arena and had this surge of feeling at home and at ease in my entire being

And then I walked on stage and it felt so beautiful

I felt so at home

It felt so right

+==edit==+

10.38am

Can u believe my body woke me up after 4 hours and I dreamt I was on set

Hahah k sleepz

Still cant decide on massage or no massage

+==edit==+

18.48pm

One of my scenes last night reminds me of learning to throw punches in SPW which is suprisingly the hardest thing to do hahaha

02.49am

This the kind of exhaustion im not fretting about

Morning calltimes and late night wraps, lucky to get 4 hours sleep and crashing right as my head hits the pillow (fake news la, still scroll phone abit)

My insta has been down almost the whole day even after uninstalling so idk whats up with that

Quite sad that today will be day 5/5 of the framework filming

Happy I get to be humming lady once again though so

Ok I need to sleep trying to get the most amount of sleep I can get before hustling and going all out

Also we just got done disturbing mama and ele's sleep hahahah hashtag silly

01.35am

The way grab gojek and ryde take turns being stupid lol 

+==edit==+

14.34pm

Just pissed @ gojek for always giving drivers who are >10 mins away kelakar pe sia 

12.25pm

U know what I need in life

Ready stock of sliced chilli padi so anytime I need it I have it

07.17am

I have been the most exhausted the past week this whole year, but I have never in those days woken up not looking forward to the day like today 

Just cause I got wOrK

But im gonna be grateful and survive today

If anything i'll just leave halfway lol 

I will wait until the last possible second before I leave home ahaha how much I hate work

+==edit==+

10.29am

Realised work is not feasible for today so I took off again, I literally have more important things to do lol 

But also, after the 2nd day of shoot we have like 4 days of break, but I already miss the production!!!

Cant imagine when it ends this Saturday ohmy :')

Also not mama bringing the turtles on the bus to nenek's house this morning HAHAAH they no ezlink somemore 

02.16am

Sigh of relief right as I bumped my head onto my pillow 2 seconds ago

Had such a long, eventfu day and now I can barely open my eyes

Thankfully im on urgent leave from work later if not I will literally faint out ok fine no so drama lol

Have been irritable the past hour cause not only tired, eyes SO dry ugh 

But now contacts are off and my eyes are literally half shut now

I havent had the time to scroll through fb or instagram or watch youtube videos the past week- which is amazing cause means im occupied- and then even when trying to wind down I dont even get to scroll much before crashing

Okay, thank you Allah for easing all my affairs today

Im gonna blog about it in detail cause so iconic

For now, let me and my barely opened eyes be

+=÷edit==+

20.11pm

Hehe my grab gps says I should ready my destination by 20.25 and im like Oo 3 more years then i reach

+==edit==+

23.04pm

Sis is 20% less tired than yesterday, but boy she got tested by humans but she stayed chill so yay to me

So dreading work that I tried to put on my pyjamas while still wearing a shirt

LoL

02.22am

Ya Allah give us strength 

+==edit==+

08.25am

When I woke up abruptly I thought it was 2am or something but it's 8am

So my body actually got 5 hours of sleep which alhamdulillah, makes sure I had the rest before being faced with multiple issues to take care of

I know I have to make sure my needs are met before I can take care of others

I thank Allah for granting me calmness, patience, level-headedness and rationality even in times of trial

+==edit==+

08.33am

Me being a night owl and morning bird-

Last night at 2.40am: thinking why people must sleep early, so troublesome if need to settle things before morning

Now at 8.32am: thinking why people must wake up so late, so troublesome if need to settle things before noon

HAHHAAH 

10.54am

Lost sense of time after 4 days of straight hustling, 8 hours sleep combined 

But of course in true me fashion today got home feeling so fresh ahaha 

Ok being constantly in the car for 4 days straight made me and athirah want to punch the radio

The SAME. FIVE. SONGS. KEPT. PLAYING. THROUGHOUT. THE. DAY.

It came to a point where 4 of them played and I told titi "I swear only the charlie puth song havent play, after this will play" 

And it literally did and we just burst out screaming in annoyance and amusement

Right as we parked this morning I was just gonna acknowledge how ok this morning not bad only 1 of those trashy songs played and it wasnt the worst one, and also demdems played 

RIGHT AS WE PARKED the cursed song played and we just groaned out loud simultaneously 

Ok I still feel like I have seatbelt across me lol 

Well, now we have 4 days break before shoot resumes for 3 more days but we survived both our overnight shoots so yay but also aw man 

Ok bye I dk if I wanna rest or not 

+==edit==+

22.47pm

Currently experiencing the weirdest feeling I can only guess is what "Feeling faint" feels like

I literally feel like fainting in not a room is spinning kind of way but just a suddenly oof im shaking i cant describe it

Trying to calm myself down by lying down

Thankfully mama offered to send ele to the A&E I offered myself but mama knows ele will want her mummy around which I guess is true but also I have never felt or reacted this way seeing someone's injury before so this is too weird and I hate it but I only felt it after she cried so I guess it's more of a cannot see someone in pain rather than the injury itself

Maybe im more empathetic than I thought but also

What a mixed feelinged evening thus far it started off so good and ideal and I got the BEST NEWS I cried a bit but I pause to delay the tears 

And then i even bought a tent so I can go camping anytime I want to

But then this happened and now im in bed trying to distract myself from this weird weird, annoying uncomfortable feeling

p.s. okay I read the science, my heart rate and blood pressure dropped suddenly when seeing someone in emotional distress (especially cus ive never seen ele in emotional/physical distress) so my body is literally in shock. 

02.44pm

Trying to force myself to sleep but I have to charge 3 devices throughout the night using 1 wire so I either have to accidentally wake up to change devices or I just zz and yolo

12.13pm

Finally settled down after Day 1 of shoot

Left home yesterday at 730am and reached home an hour ago

Ele crashed once she reached home but I got to have a good shower and even brunch and iced coffee muehe

Today's supposed to be rest day but going out again to run more errands so I shall try to sleep 

Goodnighty (I hope??)

16.14pm

It probably is possible, but is it logical, to live a life without love?

Honestly I might be capable of that

I have no heart anyway

17.47pm

Pls only tokti can make malaysia and singapore torn between two channels at the same time loL 

Im just seeing everyone being like How to watch AJL and Bigstage at the same time and AJL is star studded while Bigstage only has Tokti

The power she has man

05.31am

Wow I dont even know what time I fell asleep 

But also wow I have been getting >6 hours of sleep

+==edit==+

14.13pm

It's quite sad to wake up fresh and well rested on a Sunday morning and ready to have adventures

But end up still in bed at 2pm because you dont feel like spending today alone but also you got no friends hahahaha ok bye dabs hope everyone else is having a better day than I am not that im having a bad day just an unnecessarily restful one cause I dont really like resting

But still, it's only 2pm 

I can still do things if I want to so yay

+==edit==+

22.49pm

Oh well, ended up doing nothing

But also in a surprising turn of events, im AWAKE at this timing?! 

Anticipating a busy but exciting 2 weeks ahead, even though it's not my project but might as well be 

Excited to be filming and acting I have never been a killer on screen before so this should be fun

Thankful for a restful Sunday

A part of me of course dreads work but tonight it's just a tiny tiny part, im trying to stay positive about it 

Here's to a beautiful, productive, positive and blessed week ahead

06.01am

Cant remember the last time I crashed before removing my makeup 

Zz

+==edit==+

06.42am

I felt like I slept for so long but it was 9 hours, with 1 wakeup in the halfway mark

How can some people sleep that long everyday but good for you and thankfully I dont need that amount

+==edit==+

15.13pm

My current hobby is texting my sisters Dhar mann video titles (mostly made up) out of nowhere so like today I sent:

Mean girls make fun of HOMELESS man, what happens next is SHOCKING!

And chiqa just sent me this:

Sister did not bring LITTLE SISTER to the mall, she lives to regret it!

Who said she can be slightly funnier than me lol pfft 

+==edit==+

21.10pm

Why are fb ads today extra annoying???????

Wtheck

(Also i now have chips at my bedside but I havent opened it yet)

And right now if I could have anything I want CAKE

01.46am

Current bedtime is 8pm-2am so

+==edit==+

08.17am

Just had breakfast and thinking of what I shall be up to today

There's a lot of things I want to do but one thing I need right now is chips lolol I could go biking for however long I want to and then buy chips but meh I shall see how it goes

Anticipating my new simcard today, hopefully a better experience than circles lOl

Watched Death on the Nile after work on Weds and idk if it's just the book that's weak or the adaptation but eh I was occupied 

The sky looks so blue from outside my window.... I guess i'll bring myself out afterall

cant believe i missed a day i love: two march (01.33am)

I blogged on instagram so much today I forgot actual blogger

Im crashing

+==edit==+

11.35am

And im homed from the office

To my great relief and happiness

+==edit==+

12.49pm

Anyway yea I did it I resubscribed to youtube premium HAHA

K bye

Merry March (02.34am)

No idea what happened but I just woke up 

I guess I crashed but what time was it, probably 8pm

I dont even know

+==edit==+

03.14am

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labours and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its shams, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy."

Max Ehrmann

Me 7 years ago posted this

+==edit==+

08.58am

See how lovely and motivating mornings are when I dont have to go to the office lol

Me with my cup of iced coffee ready to take on the world

Compared to me freezing and facing the screen bluek

Im just not born for office life

+==edit==+

12.15pm

Whoever in the Malay history decided to use Latin Alphabets and then proceed to not pronounce things weirdly,

I thank you for your genius and service to mankind