Self torn between being a person and a human
Whereby personhood is driven by rationality, logic, long-term thinking, risk evaluating
Humanity is driven by instincts, pure feel and subconscious
Both these sides are fighting for the same cause, expecting opposite outcome
Personhood is not just thinking of me, it's thinking of me in the future, me in other people's eyes
Human me just wants to dive and feel and embrace the present and take things as they go
Perhaps I will find a middleground
+==edit==+
20.16pm
Idk why im in this situation right now
Im defending people left and right but this inevitably means I can't defend myself
Which is weird cause i'm the pawn who is subjected to whatever actions they take
Which is also weird cause it sucks being part of something you never wished to be part of
Is it SO hard to be honest?
I have no time for this