Leap year! (08.04am)

Along the way I have lost my morning bird tendencies like I still do wake up unnecessarily early but i've always went back to sleep which is like for what hahah
I feel like my whole family has more social life than me combined maybe cus my life is just hmx oof not complaining
Okay have a lovely saturday!

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16.44pm

It's when when you're treated nicely
It's even weirder when you try to think about why it's weird to be treated nicely
Perhaps some people are meant to give more than they take, and vice versa
But which one of these are the blessed ones?

17.19pm

My name in your mouths sound dirty
Also honestly it's not that hard to let your ego down
It's just selfishness stopping you like even if it's in the name of self-protection
It hurts you ultimately so like
Why waste our time right

01.37am

Obviously I have lost track of time
Today was quite draining just cause I held back from doing and not doing things and idk perhaps it drains me integritily and emotionally and mentally idk but it doesnt feel great
I just feel like falling asleep now but also not
Idk eh
May I find peace again soon
(Or regain it, if that's how peacefulness works)

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03.31am

Force feed the universe love and kindness
And it'll come right back
Best law to exist

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06.29am

Whoa whoa idk the last time I got awokened by someone actually tapping me and baby chiqa did just that yo such gentle baby hands but somehow my vivid dreams got interrupted enough hahah
Thought I would definitely fall into a deeper slumber today but I have been awoken every hour since falling asleep 2 hours ago
But right now 70% of my sleepiness is gone so idk

Random hmx appreciation bit-
I love how family we are we had to take main comm's photo and we just stole nitin's phone which he willingly gave to elephant to be abused and then like I can go to anyone for anything
Thank you for existing losers

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14.03pm

Recalling things make me realise why I dont talk to people in the first place

08.23am

Cant remember the last time I just didnt feel like sleeping
Had to force myself to rest and the result is I wake up every 2 hours lol this is why we follow natural tendencies people (ok not always pls be wise in living life)
But yes I have no business being up at this time I dont want to be tired tonight hah
Okayyy have a lovely tuesday ahead :)

23.20pm

Wow almost didnt blog today
Currently in an exciting music comm meeting
Sometimes I wonder how our brains are so similar
But most of the time I just embrace it without question

14.27pm

Another unplanned late night but to be fair it's the weekend
Had a lovely day, and I got reminded of how much I love learning Philosophy especially without the need to do assignments lol

05.31am

Hahhaa it's been some time since we have stayed out this late cus hmx is nerd during school season
But tonight was fun however I do need to rest
Walked in the rain for a bit it was so lovely especially since there was noone around
K byee heh have a lovely day ahead

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14.04pm

I love how nonsensical Confucius can be or like is he merely being a Socrates and is beyond mortal perception
Cause I vibe
Hahahaha okay

01.12am

It wasn't your words to hold or leak, it wasn't your right to hold or speak
But you did it anyway
I think it's quite needless to say that we could never be the same no matter how forgiving these hearts are or how boundless the love is
It's hard to fix a broken cord lest it echoes out of tune

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02.40am

Realised I am currently at the most uneventful point in my life
No dance, lack of hmx, no work, no school, no going out, no random commitments I always accidentally agree to
But hey it's okay it's always dullest before the yayness insyaallah
I do miss performing every week and having rehearsals every night and work every other day like I thrive on busy schedules but major downtimes like these are loved
I like doing nothing hashtag minimalist

09.01am

Have been beginning to wake up 8ish again right after hibernation season ended
Really extremely cool to study this pattern
Had a fun hmx session last night seeing them be weird hehe whats new

07.32am

Tell me why im awake less than 2 hours after falling asleep but nice heh

04.51am

Okay so after 2 days of being in hibernation mode im obviously back to my tendencies
But like I want to try and sleep at least
Give chance pls me @ me

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20.34pm

No idea if im in a creative rut or im in a complacent place in life
Either way I reallllly dont feel like doing artistic work
Maybe I just need a refresher

08.52am

Life without hmx during holidays feels so uneventful lol but this rest is definitely needed for us to recharge before peak period again
Hopefully the virus situation gets better!!!
Speaking of virus have I ever shared this story where during SARS period there was once I rubbed the thermometer on my skirt during temperature-taking, hoping to be sent home but turns out they sent me to the office for another check using their thermometer and I really did have a fever and was sent home hahaha manifestation at its best
Legendary honestly hahah
Okay byee have a lovely day ahead

03.11am

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08.48am

I havent been as early bird as I started the year with but it's always a pleasant surprise when I end up awake early
Mornings are lovely
Played quizup for the first time in forever I forgot how intense it was!!!
But very fun

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17.22pm

By giving in I am giving up
Control who

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20.57pm

Today has truly been hibernation day, after what felt like so long
No idea how many times and how long i've been asleep but great recharge I hope

17.29pm

I wonder if dreams could be what is "supposed" to be happening in your life if you have taken that one different step
That's a cool concept to think about
Had a dream that I havent had in a while and everytime I dream about this issue I feel funny hahaha cause like Wow but also Why but also Haha sure

19.58pm

Had an interesting evening
And now im very late for rehearsal
Like very
Oof

19.16pm

How has it only been 15 mins since the meeting started hahaha
Hais it ok

04.30am

Self torn between being a person and a human
Whereby personhood is driven by rationality, logic, long-term thinking, risk evaluating
Humanity is driven by instincts, pure feel and subconscious
Both these sides are fighting for the same cause, expecting opposite outcome
Personhood is not just thinking of me, it's thinking of me in the future, me in other people's eyes
Human me just wants to dive and feel and embrace the present and take things as they go
Perhaps I will find a middleground

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20.16pm

Idk why im in this situation right now
Im defending people left and right but this inevitably means I can't defend myself
Which is weird cause i'm the pawn who is subjected to whatever actions they take
Which is also weird cause it sucks being part of something you never wished to be part of
Is it SO hard to be honest?
I have no time for this

03.47am

Can we believe it's Ptx live in SG tonight!
Am very excited and more importantly it's hmx being in the same room as ptx big ooof

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23.35pm

Amazing night!!!
Almost lost my voice but im amazed at my vocal cords' ability to bounce back immediately hahahah
Am happy.
♡

16.11pm

Heartbroken over the news of Abam's passing
He left behind a 5 month old son
It's painful to see Achey having to face the media alone and it's equally gut wrenching that Fad is so far away and unable to see Abam for the last time, nor could he stand by Achey
I pray the family be granted strength, i'm only hearing good things from the netizens alhamdulillah

15.41pm

It's an age old philosophy problem
If you are given the chance to experience eudaimonia, or the best happiness and pleasure you have ever felt- one time only, but with an advisory that it's all in your mind and would not affect your "real life" in any way at all, would you accept just so you know what true happiness feels like even if you can never revisit it ever again? Or skip it totally because ignorance is bliss and you cant mourn over what you never had?
Would you dare to experience it just to bear the pain of loss later or would you rather go on without it?
That's basically love, too.
Giving your life at risk of destroying it
Most people would say it's worth the shot
But is it really
(do i sound like a skeptic or what hahahah genuine concern though)

18.26pm

Why am I are we in school on a Saturday we did this to ourselves
But also the school is so ded on a weekend I love it
Dreading the journey back honestly hahah but hais I am tired enough to want to be home and rest no tired is not the word more like I have a want to be in isolation but I love hmx oof

02.32am

Hmx out here ruining my sleep schedule fake news i do not have a sleep schedule also my fault for being willingly ruinable wow what a roller coaster of words right here
My phone's font is currently set at Very tiny and this is a foolproof way to avoid people eavesdropping with their eyes (or in simple english peeking at my phone)
Sleepyish but like my plans are in the evening so not really in a rush to fall asleep although I should let my natural tendencies lead the way

20.50pm

've been in and out of control of emotions but I know the cause so the question is am I going to do anything about it or am I going to ride through the waves like a lifeless being hahahah we all know the answer
But like I can totally be unexpected I just dont feel like surprises yet

02.43am

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11.59am

It was so hard to fall asleep last night again hahah loser
But hi I woke up feeling excited to drink coffee
What a great motivation to get out of bed if anything

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18.04pm

Well heartaches arent all that bad, it gives you artistic direction and inspiration sometimes- especially in times you feel like you're riding on life too high to feel and crave anything else but the present
Pain kind of grounds you and it does a dang great job at it

17.06pm

It's nobody's fault but yours if you keep choosing the wrong things for yourself
Which sucks because you keeping to choose wrong things shows the amount of self respect you have for yourself
Guess i'll be here as usual when things dont work as usual

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23.14pm

Some extremely rare times the inability to fall asleep is a curse
Like right now
How am I gonna heal at this rate

10.01am

Felt like typing but not sure about what
Be right back I guess

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18.40pm

I dont get mean people
Who hurt you and why are you hurting others

04.44am

Why cant I sleep!!!
Had a cool day yesterday, watched somemonix play badminton and then roamed around with them until we ended up at dessert first again hahaha rite of passage
Went home and fell asleep but woke up less than 2 hours later and here I am now
Another Jentera baiduri wedding to attend later and then rehearsearl! (not a typo)

Merry February (08.20am)

Back to being a morning bird despite my inconsistence thus far hahaha
Got ice cream last night so im happy but also had a lovely evening with somemonix :')
Meeting them again today for activities hahahah