So is this a thing (01.42am)

Feels tired for a good reason today because I feel accomplished
Chloe and I did the whole day together hahaha
Also I hope my body clock wakes me up at 8 again cause I have an essay due tonight
Also I hope the essay is not more than 2.5k words because I have no content to bullcrap
More rehearsals today, was supposed to be my day off but ehhhh gig on Saturday gotta be good
Today was a blessssss I had fun

Some sense of normalcy (03.56am)

Had a lovely day with somemonix, rehearsing and brownies and dinner was amazing with the losers why are they all so interesting and weird I love it
It's performance day!
Going out in the morn to check out a potential gig venue at a country club before heading for rehearsal and getting ready for the performance
And then ending the day with more rehearsals heheh

So now the decision I have to make is whether I should attempt to sleep or start reading Harry potter
My being is not sleepy but it would be great to be recharged before I have to leave home in 7 hours time
We'll see but for now i'm definitely leaning towards reading
I might stay in bed until I finish everything hehaheha jk I have self control (do I)

+==edit==+
08.18am

Well rested after 3 hours, had really eventful dreams but I didnt want to face my screen so I didnt record it down
Fell asleep reading hahaha what wholesomeness
Woke up greeted by hagrid and harry when I should be reading Analects for the essay due tomorrow heh.heh.
Analects, Harry potter, whats the difference
Ok imma go do my nails and then read Analects (or philosophers stone again)

Oh my beachball (00.05am)

How long have I not blogged hahaha this is terrible
Brb, am on my way home from being "very productive" at macs with mummy and chiky

+==edit==+
05.52am

I actually slept like a human yesterday, I wasn't feeling particularly tired but I guess I was from the way I fell right asleep when I got back home from work
Think I woke up at 8am which was such a humanly behaviour but of course today I had to go back to my usual.

Kinda at peace but my schedule is a huge issue.
So many things coming up and I want to make time for everything but having just recovered from a lame fever, I also want to take it slow and enjoy my holidays (ok fine I have 2 more submissions psht dont @ me)
Rehearsal later today plus I will attempt to finish 1 and 2/6 of my essays
A performance tomorrow and also on Saturday
Probably (still deciding, honestly) going for dance training on Sunday (can you believe it idk I only agreed cause it was supposed to be an item I knew but suddenly it was one very-long-untouched item and one totally foreign new one so im reconsidering really hard)
Supposed to be working on Friday but I think i'll take the day off to complete my essay (seeing how I am motivated to finish one by today the deadline was last....week.... bleah)
And then next week onwards will just be crazy crazy but at least I can focus 100% on harmonix and not school for the next month or so.

I should rest.

Oh two kids whom I befriended a few months ago checked into the hotel again and idk it was so nice to see familiar faces.
The boy was so sweet he keeps defying gender stereotypes but it was sad that he was embarrassed over things that he should be least embarrassed about (aka what kind of movies he liked to watch- he said dont tell anyone so im not gonna mention it here)
I also see a lot of parenting differences and I love parents who teaches their kids to be polite and considerate humans like your kids are never too young to learn to be a nice person I promise you

I feel like taking a full shower and eat
How did we do this for 12, 13 years of our lives waking up at this very hour just to get to school on time
How and why

+==edit==+
07.40am

I have to start getting ready in 2 hours anyway
I could take an afternoon nap in school yas sounds like a plan

+==edit==+
15.33pm

Can you believe my current most repeated songs are Queen's Don't stop me now and PTX's Attention
The latter is because (besides the fact that it's ptx) we're performing it at the gig tomorrow haha ha
The former is just a GrEaT song like I wished I wrote it hahaha
Thanks Bohrep for reminding me of their greatness

Buenos dias! (10.51am)

Why am I awake early ok cause I fell asleep early (ish hah I think 4 plus I slept cause the rest did too)
This hotel's duvet is lovely wot
And you know half of me wants to go swimming all day long but half of me knows there's humans and just wants to chill in the room most probably this cause it's so cold
Mate I literally just finished swimming 8 hours ago
I need my youth back- Chiqa would be the best companion in this she WILL want to swim every minute and same
May today be a lovely day too!
I am exhausted why did I choose to rehearse tonight and work tomorrow this is not a thing

I actually did it (02.54am)

So the good thing is im getting the hang of my current sleep cycle (fully nocturnal I sleep at 8am and wake up at 1pm)
The not so good thing is baby chiqa's cycle LINES UP WITH MINE
She is a child she supposed to slept but noOooO she awake

I actually finished my essay seemed undoable but eh the topic was fun and i'm an experienced buller so there's that
Actually good debatable topic though, on whether we should accept the idea that for a thing to be good for someone, it has to resonate with the person.
Bless philosophy for encouraging my far fetched thinking
Though school as an institution still halts it who the meowth care

Im also excited to meet north pole later heheh less than 12 hours time for our staycation
We literally meet once a year which is a crazy bummer but it really feels like no time has passed since the last time we met
It's crazy, but they're precious
Okey I shall lepak and see if my existance wants to sleep

+==edit==+
04.36am

I just realised how weird this blogging style is
It's like meant to be a diary but I am talking to someone
And if anyone reads it i'm probably close to you anyway so why am I speaking like this
Ok not the point
Point is Taman is doing soooo well
As much as everyone wants Tauke to find a replacement for Pak yus, we all know it is impossible.
Man is an amazing addition to Tauke's humour and he's probably the closest to being a Pak yus replacement to bring back Jambu's comedy.
I appreciate Man for his own style, brain and jokes.
Taman is the best combination we can have now and I love watching them every week.
Onwards to success!!!!

Taking control (04.34am)

Trying to make myself fall asleep cause I want early mornings and I have to do 2 essays by tonight

No no no (07.09am)

I shocked myself seeing that the sun is out
Was engrossed doing hmx stuff lol now my whole body is aching because I just realised that I am was were are cold
I should sleep but I have to leave home in 2 hours so I don't think i'll risk a powernap now
Here's to a productive, feel-good (and I mean really feel good me still not cured but me played in the rain just now it should counteract to my sickness) day ahead
Brunch, hmx, dance, essay, and then hopefully I can finally crash and hibernate for a bit.

Just accept it ok hahaha (03.40am)

One way or another
There's a lot of risks I can take, the only question is whether i'm willing to
Do I even want to?

+==edit==+
07.05am

So last night I was mad at Chiqa for not behaving, and then she got mad at me because I was mad at her
As always, she wrote me an apology letter and in it she also mentions that she doesnt enjoy going for dance because the girls are not even friends with her, they bullied her (i'd think more of disturb) in homework sessions before so they bother her more than she enjoys their company
I totally understand man, seeing the company
It is true to a small extent that company matters- at least in the developmental stage
I used to think otherwise but having a baby sister is changing some of my perspectives.
But these kinds of things also make me wonder how far do we go to protect a child versus let them learn on their own?
Goat dangit parenting is a whole new level up of life what even
Oh she was asking mama to wake her up at 7am but she stayed up all night cause she was afraid she would oversleep- get this- to make me breakfast
Yes every hearts are allowed to melt and cry tears of touchedness because what is this small human thinking
She has always been the sweetest human and I hope she keeps this side of her close to heart.
I love you babycakes!!!
The world may try to toughen you up but stay sensitive and kind regardless.
This applies to everyhuman.
Even, sadly, to grown adults whom I thought were stable enough to remain consistent but alas.

On a lighter note hahaha I told her to count sheeps and she looked at me like I was mad "But I cant see sheeps"
"PRETEND"
I forgot that it's not an everyday part of life hahaha
Who am I to tell her to sleep when i'm here
Well I tucked her into bed so let's see if she sleeps or remains awake
I have an essay due tonight and I wanted to start yesterday but the slides were so boring
How could a topic so interesting be so watered down
I'm sure the prof meant well but meh mismatch of style
It ok i'll try anyways
Actually going to school bluek but for harmonix so it good
May today be a great day!
(also dont too rainy plssss it good to motivate me to sleep though)

Payoff (01.16am)

Sleeping all day means stay up all night
I feel like eating chocolates hmmm i'd suggest to myself a late night grocery trip but I might have chocolates in the fridge we'll see
Imma go blast myself with cold shower for a bit

+==edit==+
18.55pm

It takes virtues and luck to save a sinking ship
One without the other is doomed to fail
Thanks for pulling out of this fight early

+==edit==+
19.53pm

Ew I thought I was well but I was trying to speak menacingly and my voice sounded like the epitome of flu haaha aoosh i almost stepped on a cat AW THE CAT IS RUBBING AGAINST ME I LOVE U CAT U R SO FAT AND U MAKE ME FEEL BETTER ALREADY BABIES
Walking to dance rehearsal now and I hope the kids behave well today of all days I need calmness I am not 100% physically but mentally im unstoppable (so unstoppable im crossing the road while blogging)
(Ok thats called irresponsible road using)
Bye

+==edit==+
19.58pm

Ok I cannot im thinking of the cat just now and i need more cats
Or babies or both yes both

+==edit==+
22.05pm

Dont feel like entertaining humans and my brain hahaha just take a self declared holiday everyone
Didnt want to go home, didnt want to go out
So I did the only logical thing
Went to NTUC to grocery shop
Lol and somehow ended up feeling better
Having dupper now

Probably should have expected it (04.11am)

Holiday seasons upcoming means my nocturnality kicks up 15 notches
I have work in 8 hours but im considering taking the day off or at least come in late- still not feeling the best
The changes within the place is making work dreary, and being in this weird mix of not-senior-enough but not new at all is not helping hahahah
Hopefully it all gets better
Have been on a feel-good video binge and I should probably sleep soon

+==edit==+
15.47pm

I guess being sick now is helping me put things into perspective and making it clearer what I want and need (eh) to prioritize
Skipped work today couldnt even attempt to come in late
Awaiting my macs delivery before either hibernating more or starting on one essay.

+==edit==+
22.48pm

Waiting one day before I find medicine but the hibernation is real but I keep waking up every two hours and everytime it's a weirdcool series of dreams
Working tomorrow, I hope I feel better soon insyaallah

I understand but still (03.36am)

After 2 nights of properish sleep, my body's had enough hahah
Back to nocturnality
No plans today but 2 essays due next week so that should probably be my plan hahah
Crazy few weeks ahead but hey im doing things I like I think

+==edit==+
16.43pm

What did I do why am I down with flu (poetry unintended)
Think I fell asleep at 7am and
Ok soz my bus is here

+==edit==+
18.37pm

Finally settling down and three things
1) Didnt alight the bus cause of laziness and found myself driving past a friend's house- what was once a random stretch of road is filled with memories
2) The sky is so beautiful I was admiring for so long I didnt get a photo but hey my eyes are happy
3) Wizarding world IS ABOVE ME RIGHT NOW I will attack it once I ate and drank something hot
My throat hurts I hope hydration works
Hoping for honey lemon my magic potion to make this feel better

+==edit==+
22.29pm

Winding down with healthy macs food, nail polish and an inspiring view
I dont feel like thinking and things are helping me clear my mind (ayy got one baby roaming on her own her mum is so far away saying bye she is still walking alone)

Deadlines are arbitrary (17.26pm)

've been on a bublé mood since Love you anymore came out idk how many months ago i've never been a seeker of his music like I know his voice is amazing and that he is a christmas elf but that was it
Until LYA came out and then I finally felt pulled to hear Havent met you yet in full hahahahaha and I realise his voice and songs actually brings actual joy to my soul omg I cannot even it is magic
And now his new album is coming out so hello
I hope all goes well with his life and son.

In the meanwhile watched Crimes of grindewald last night with chiqa to make up for her being mad that my 10-mins-nap-before-I-finish-my-assignment-and-then-bring-you-out turned into an hour nap where I didnt even do my assignment because the deadline was said to be today instead of yesterday (to be fair I was not feeling well too so I needed that 40 extra minutes hahaha)
Ended up catching the 11pm screening and I thought i'd be loster than I was cause I hadnt watched the first fantastic beasts
But yes it was naising

Going to catch Vocaexchange tonight highkey lazy to travel cause while AMK may seem near to my home nothing is near if there is no direct bus there pfft
3 essays left to submit before-
OMGOSH yes Barney is coming to city square!!!!!
I WILL spend 200$ in 2 weeks so I can see him 4 times
Crazy and also I will cry tears of joy everytime I see him so nobody can see him with me bye

+==edit==+
Lol right after above I checked his Instagram and turns out he JUST got his hollywood star of fame today what meowth

+==edit==+
21.07pm

Aw man Queen is playing during intermission
They were so good so far it's making me do some serious self reflection
I always said I love performing but I never realised exactly how much.
Seeing people on stage makes me annoyed cause I should be on it
So yes I am excited for the rest of the night, keep on rocking the crowd guys!

It was so high energy, and every song felt like it could be the finale.
What the actual heck

Internal alarm (08.40am)

Had a sudden dizzy spell last night after dancing, and I felt so nauseous and my temperature was high but I feel so much better after sleeping hahaha
Now im not early for work
I should stop giving 9.30s hahah what am I doing
Here's to a grand day ahead!

Blessings (02.48am)

Supposed to leave home to meet Yol in like 5 hours time
Our longggg delayed breakfast outing (the previous two were at Geylang hahaha) but this year we push the limits further by dropping ourselves at Tampines before floating back to school

Alhamdulillah for today.
I should rest for a bit heh

+==edit==+
03.53am

I guess as long as we are not careless in selecting what to care less about, you be chill

Game plan didnt game (02.52am)

So at 10 plus pm I told myself to sleep and then wake up at 4 to kickstart the day
But here I am uhhharmonix rounds of spyfall and quizarium later (i hate werewolf they always accuse me at the wrong time and place)
Should take a nap now and wake up to do my essays hahahaha....

+==edit==+
14.50pm

Living student life on the edge at its finest, alhamdulillah I survived
Woke up late haha aka snoozed my alarm until it was 10.30am and realised I had 2500 words to write
Weirdly 2000 took forever I gave up writing at 1350 words but when I sat in class (after printing it I realised there was one UNFINISHED SENTENCE HAHAHA I mean it wasnt bad just grammarly unsatisfactory) I decided to whip out my phone and edit it and somehow managed to reach 1965 words.
Right as cikgu was going to collect the paper I realised I had to go out to print the edited one and while walking from class to the printer managed to surpass the 2017 words count.
Also I did my 500 words reflection in the grab and was like "O crap how to reach 500 idk what to write" but hi when I took a break to look out the window I realise I wrote almost 800 words already
I love words
Hahahaa ok bye here's to a fantabulous day ahead

No big deal (00.08am)

Just 2 presentations, one Group dance assessment, 3 million emails and 4 essays to complete and I have not one of them ready hahahah
What is new though it's ok i'm quite a professional procrastinator
I spent today spamming Queen videos which felt weird cause like I said, with things due later today that is probably not the thing I should be doing
I think humans hate me- literally when im free as a bird nobody and I MEAN NOBODY wants to disturb me with tasks or nonsense or even stupid questions
But when i'm building the pyramids and the great walls of china suddenly everyone from eVERYWHERE decided it is a great time to text and email and call and pm and dm me and I. DO. NOT. CONDONE. THIS. BEHAVIOUR
It also shows how different I treat humans nowadays- I used to be the fastest responder on planet earth see efficiency is mine but now hahahahahah you'd be lucky if I replied within 3 (working) days
I'll probably revert to my old style because I like being there for people no matter the nonsense
Also the feeling of having to reply to so many messages in a row is not cool
Ok I have things to do but we'll take it one step at a time, survive these 2 weeks and celebrate with a staycation with north pole before resuming my harmonix duties
Here's to a legendary month ahead

+==edit==+
02.22am

Go on, keep finding and recreating and redefining your happy place
Still havent gotten anything done (ok fine maybe academically- I was Harmonixing which is importanter)
Ehh.
I've done it once i'll do it again

+==edit==+
04.12am

Should I sleep idk im not sleepy but I also don't feel like doing work (aka oh no I might have primed myself to do my best most efficient work while im lying down in bed on my phone)
(Not complaining but it means my day attempts at doing work has a 60-40 chance of working)
All will be well hahha

+==edit==+
22.00pm

I survived today well, alhamdulillah!
Being fully honest made things easier- sometimes i'm too lazy to explain stuff so today I straight up told my prof "I have nothing" for my 3rd presentation of the day.
Ended well cause he helped me think through my final essay.
This class deserved more of me honestly, they were willing to listen and were so eager and earnest to actually learn each other's viewpoints.
Ehh we learn from mistakes haha.
Also people should realise that other people have different timelines.
This shiz may take you 3 weeks but it will take me 3 hours and vice versa.
Just respect each other they know themselves best man.
(But also provide support just BE A DECENT HUMAN OK)

Also with the little pockets of time I have between events, what did I choose to do?
Fill in more events!
Hahahah it's ok I can lepak on Sunday
My agendaer self would be happy she has things to cross off
Ok now I have 2 essays due tomorrow at 1.30pm (thankfully just 2.5k words in total), and have to zoom to punggol in the morning to mak yah's house before going for afternoon class.
And then a family dinnerrrr

Now Thursday is a whole different story aka me accidentally scheduling people at the same time and day hahahahaha..haha..
I need a PA but I trust myself best ok fine
Here's to a beautiful day ahead, Insyaallah!

Wot m8 (23.32pm)

Had a seemingly overwhelming amount of tasks at hand but after writing it all down in an agenda, it feels manageable now.
Here's to a successful efficient and productive fun week ahead

Mindset changes my world (00.36am)

I wanted to blog about something but I was right outside my door but now I forgot hahaha

+==edit==+
17.18pm

What a day it has been hahaha
Weird ups and downs but amazingly my spirit is not faltering I mean mind over matter always all ways
And I realise there's always a reason for things and there's always people there if you reach out for it.
Supposed to be at a soundcheck 19 mins ago but I couldnt get any modes of transportations at all so I wasted an hour waiting for a miracle lol I mean gan jing yong saves my life by booking me a grab
Here's to a smooth, fun performance with my botols! ♡

Heartwarming, but mixed emotions still (02.04pm)

I can't put it into words yet.
Soon.

Ultimate power move (00.17am)

Right as I made a decision to put myself first, I felt so much freer and happier and facebook was just all inspiring stories so like ayy good call
External showcase in 19 hours time, excited and hopefully it all goes smoothly insyaallah.
Ended up having a good day!
Finally learnt the hiphop routine and went for a short rehearsal with somemonix before running to hougang to surprise grandpapa for his birthday.
He cried tears of joy seeing the whole family there with a cake ahhhh atok we love you so very much this is the LEAST we could do for you :') ♡
Then we went to eat but like the food was terrible hahahahah eh we were too happy with the company to care.
Also reminded me how things may be shitty but with the right company, it gets bearable and even laughable.
It further motivated my decision making to put my happiness first.
Meeting them again in a few hours time because we are frogs who stick together heh.
May we wake up to a grand day of being productive, present and positive, insyaallah!

That person (01.58am)

If you can't (or can't be bothered to) change a situation, at least change the way you think about it
Went bowling after work today and at my last shot, I got a spare (which was necessary for me to beat pak sani who was leading) so I was celebrating but the machine said I got 9 u frog
But this made me think that no matter what happens this week (especially with my hiphop progress) nothing will be as bad as that uncounted spare.
Gotta be in school in 8 hours time, completely unnecessary and I am definitely not happy about it but at least i'm meeting somemonix and spending the second half of the day with family (stylo reunion finally????)
Also, Happy deepavali!

Patience is virtue (04.12am)

We go through so much mini changes as a person it sometimes feel weird or like "Is this a phase or" but eh redefining the self should be a norm alongside the whole "Be who you truly are" stuff
My definition of I already slept is a 45 min nap in the bus on my way home
So yes
Thinking of an early day at vivo perhaps
I could brunch and do work while people watching because it is a known fact that I will not willingly do assignments unless I tell myself to (? this makes no sense but it does)
Either that or i'd end up falling asleep and waking up just in time to grab to work
Hopefully it's the former because a good breakfast with coffee sounds good right now
(my brain is already telling me to cook my own breakfast and i agree but like when is a good time to)

Not cool? (11.33am)

Half of me is like I need a literal week off why do I suddenly have a helloweek when I am not supposed to but the other half is like How do you think John cena succeeds do u think he complained about 1 hell week I dont think so
I both want to hibernate and not stay home what does this even mean
I just know im being spread very thin and I need to just choose what makes me happy
Life is too precious for a second of loserness.
Insyaallah my journey is eased.

+==edit==+
17.48pm

I think the rainy season is encouraging my lepak tendency
Not the right time seeing all the looming deadlines and people I shouldn't have to be responsible to
Disgusting
Anyway I snacked so much today cause I don't feel like eating real food
I guess it's not abnormal seeing that it's my 2nd day
Idk
I could either be productive (I really dont think so) or get ready to leave the house soon
I think being outside would help boost my morale for whatever reason
Oof the rain is getting heavier

Also I heard my family talking to my neighbour this morning (my neighbour is a cute chubby boy) and it made me want to jump up and say hello to the cutie but alas

00.16am

Wanted to blog about something but I forgot what hahah
Anyway today started bluek because people around me were weird but eh free test of patience
Soundcheck for the gig then headed to town to buy our risotto again and then got crepe.... delishes.
K I still forgot what I was gonna blog about

+==edit==+
02.13am

OH I remembered
MLM season is back!!!!
Watched half so far and only Taman made me laugh hahaha (ok joras did a bit and omg the insane addition of ropie inside.... INSANE I LOVE IT)
I watched Bocey, 2B, Cilok, Joras, Taman and Dani (?) and will continue soon
The panel of judges is such a weird thing???
Besides douglas lim (and ok i can respect scha) like what this is a comedy show we need constructive comedy feedback
Also I didnt expect anything less from Taman honestly knowing Tauke's origin of Jambu and my memories of watching Man winning Raja lawak 5 (not to mention comparing him to kak aisyahtito giant cause THEY ARE TWINS LITERALLY FACE SAME) they will be a great jambu contender I love them already.

+==edit==+
03.27am

I used to know my place was a spot next to you, now i'm searching the room for an empty seat cause lately I don't even know what page you're on

+==edit==+
20.33pm

A busy week does not feel tiring nor dreary when it's filled with things you love doing with people you enjoy spending time with.
Mmm.

Ehh (14.13pm)

Not that I care but I can't feel bad over being misunderstood when I cannot be bothered to make humans understand so bleh your loss

Grand November (11.11am)

Got home 5 hours ago and was supposed to be in school again by now but I am tired.
Harmonix yesterday went so well.
Started with dancing as cardio and everyone was going all out I was both laughing and enjoying the choreo
Then we had individual rehearsals and earl session where hd as usual worked his magic (sometimes I wished he could conduct us hahaha he just makes us sound better ughh so appreciative of his existence and talent)
And then it was our full run where I realised exactly how talented and hardworking everyone was- we said "simple choreo" and they did more than simple.
So please ya this effort is deserving of support and love hehe.
A few of us stayed back to let our emotions out and we transited from crying so hard to laughing so hard (ok who are we kidding we did both at the same time because wth)
It was much needed, I had felt restless the whole of yesterday and letting it out even more calmed me down.
Then instead of going home we somehow started a chain of ghost stories.
I think we left school close to 4am and we went out for supper.
Like I said various times, i'm very thankful for this club.
They are the weirdest but best species and I cannot imagine it being any other way.
Here's to a successful showcase ahead!