Noone can hurt us (00.36am)

Tonight I pray God protects the hearts of those who protects the hearts of others.
That is very noble, difficult, unnecessary, but admirable.
And may God also change the hearts of those who hurts others.
No matter the reason, no matter the intentions or end goal-
May we all be granted patience.
To live in our own times while easing others'.

Exciting day ahead just cause I love birthday parties!

//edit//
23.07pm

Currently at kak faizah's place after what feels like foreverr
Remember when I said i'll come here and probably be the host?
I literally did hahaha suddenly a microphone was shoved in my hands and I had to host the event
Caught up with fini after so longgg hais where did our childhood go (mine is still here hahah)
So lazyyy to travel home, i'll have to be back here by 10am tomorrow (mama will probably come late but I might need to leave earlier cause im officially part of the clan- I mean when am I not)
Which brings me to the point that i'm so blessed to grow up with several family friends that honestly are already family to me.
Thanks yall for always being so open and inclusive (hahaha why am I being formal im literally their fourth child)
Ok byee

I mean what else to do (04.08am)

Tumblring means you have to pretend to read and laugh along when your peers show you posts that crossed your dashboard 8 months ago hahahaha

//edit//
06.06am

I mean I really do not like Uber but how else am I able to get home for 0.90 cents at 2am from town
It was an important competitor for Grab.
I think I was just about to enter the REM stage when I woke up in the middle of what seemed to be an epic but short dream but I can't recall (I can only get glimpses of scenes like 0.5 seconds of them) (OH ok some are coming back to me now) cause my brain prioritized immediately stopping mummy from leaving home without me booking grab hahaha
May mama and chiqa have a safe trip and here's to another idk-what-to-do friday hehhaahe

//edit//
16.46pm

Boo why is it so rainy
This is a weekend of solo parties man I have a birthday party and wedding to attend to and both idk who else is going so i'm just gonna go and make my own friends maybe even help host the party hahaha

//edit//
18.29pm

Kung fu panda is my life philosophy

//edit//
18.52pm

I just appreciate kung fu panda so much whoever created it deserves all the awards because even just the concept is so wild and amazing hahahaha ok anyone reading this is welcome to join the fan club

Another 3am night (04.21am)

We just knew it hahaha
Just settled down though i'm feeling quite fresh
It's been quite some time (meaning more than 2 days) since I stayed up past 4 willingly hahah

Anyway in my continuous quest to attain zenness, maybe I should further the practice of not telling.
Honestly things that do not matter and do not need to be conveyed should remain that way.
I do it now because of social interactions and you know what people call open discussion and/or venting but it's something... I can live without.
It's like anger, a special feeling that should be reserved and resolved on our own.
Ok this is a bad sharing please dont take my words literally cause I have no interest in explaining right now hahaha
Sorry future me if me not explaining annoys you somehow go drink a glass of water as punishment for your past self (ok maybe half a glass im not that evil)
(see beneficial punishment hahaha k bye)

//edit//
15.02pm

I can't believe it took me this long to watch Jumanji hahaha but i'm doing it now
Bless the rock I love his work a lot hahahah
And 57 minutes to Interactive introverts tickets release!!!
Anyway remember that weird dream I had a few nights ago, I dreamt about it again no idea what to think about it but you know sometimes dreams are just... meaningless

//edit//
16.40pm

I really don't understand and the more I think about it the weirder it seems but how can two guys hundreds of thousands of kilometres away manage to make my day just by being themselves on camera this is crazy but im appreciative of such things
And even weirder how a group of people understands how much they mean to us but on the flipside there are people living in our own households who have no idea who they are hahaha
It's a special breed of fame

//edit//
23.11pm

Inevitably falling into the HSM mode tonight ;')
It is literally a decade since HSM 3 (aka the worst thing ever cause why stop at 3)
I can't help but feel ancient, but it's a huge part of me now too late boo

Oh my (00.35am)

Interactive introverts tickets will be out tomorrow!!!!!!!
Crabmeat why they no warning
Im exciteeeed

//edit//
01.59am

Might just have found out why I dont enjoy vegetables like lettuce- it's 95% water and I dont like water
Hahahhaha thanks vsauce

//edit//
15.05pm

Currently on my way to school
You know those days where you don't understand your own decisions but is too lazy to think too much so you just go with the flow hahahah
Right now is one of those moments
This is why Pink's lyrics Bad decisions, that's alright is one of my most used life motto cause ultimately we get over it and learn from it
Ok I hope i'll be less than an hour late for class
Here's to an enriching class ahead arguing about the non existence of race and gender hahahah

Crises (01.00am)

Just the fact that we cannot know for sure that the people around us have the same minds we do shows that humans learnt to accept some things as they are just so to make life easier for all of us
But why does math exist

Hahahahahah i didnt want to draw such an uncool conclusion but my fingers typed before my brain agreed so that's what im going with (this was supposed to be an inspirational post about putting our differences aside and live life but)

//edit//
04.46am

A burden shared is a burden halved, and happiness shared is happiness doubled

Am I too human or not human enough hahaha jk this is not a question to be debated but I just wanted to say it is hard to comfort someone because I know when you're down most of all we just want to hear what we want and not what we need
And i'm torn between trying anyways or just giving them what they want because all they want is instant gratification to feel better.
Still, I feel really thankful that you shared your burdens with me.
I just hope to share it with you and as much as I can't do anything to make you feel better or to change your mindset about things,-
Just know that i'm here for you and I believe in you.
(Even saying that makes me wonder if it helps hahaha gotta constantly put myself in their shoes)

//edit//
09.47am

Waiting for a delivery or parcel is exciting cause surprise but it is also not fun cause I feel like I have to be alert all the time and I can't even do things in peace because i'd hate to make the deliverymen wait
That being said I will probably take a nap after the delivery arrives

//edit//
12.03pm

Still waiting oh gosh please i'd like to avoid delivery at all cost next time (except food that's ok)
Took a micronap and I dreamt that I finally tried the nutella krispy kreme and that it was better than I expected ahahahah

//edit//
23.52pm

In continued effort to live daily blog;
Just got home from meeting yol.
We might be the only humans who intentionally plan to go to the carnival without doing anything there
We spent most of the time walking and talking
It was raining almost the whole time but we walked in the rain anyway because who has time to wait
Ended up sharing a meal at noosh and walked the entire circumference of the singapore river
Hung out at the barrage just talking and being a petrol station (hahaha cause people kept stopping at our shelter at the jetty for no reason- out of like 10 shelters bruh)
Ended the night with an hour walk back to city hall- honestly it felt like 20 mins hahaha
Ok it was a lovely day but our legs might need extra rest
Here's to a great day ahead!

The easiest things to forget (01.21am)

I guess sometimes we forget that everyone is someone's something- a child, a sister, a parent.
Can we just collectively try to be more understanding beyond tolerance cause honestly, it's so easy to react but why would we want to solve an issue hastily with probably no effect in the long run when we can take things slow, bear the burdens now and see it all flourish in time?
Impatience is truly a horrendous trait because it blinds us.

And this is another reason I rarely share my opinions- humans are sometimes unable to... understand.
They'll argue unwisely, and it'll end up with general unhappiness hahaha so might as well discuss with myself ok cause I understand me
(Not really)
(Then again who does)
For most humans who are protected from these subjections, they fail to realise that there are shoes to fill, and there are stories to be experienced beside theirs.
Yes your life may be hard but look at your neighbour- this is not comparing nor is this to make anyone feel better.
If anything, it is to make us more empathetic, all without having to go through the exact same sets of problems.
Like they say, we should only look at our neighbour's bowl to see if they have enough.
It's a life lesson we all must learn, and we all usually learn the hard way.
Oh well.
Please, be patient.

//edit//
04.07am

Missed the 3.15am mark so i'm supposed to wait till 4.45am to sleep hahah sounds weird but not really

//edit//
08.08am

I think my subconscious was shaking its non-existent head at me while I snooze my alarm but keeping quiet because... I set it 2 hours early hahahaha bruh since when am I capable of these mishaps
Now I dont know whether to regain the lost nap or just stay awake

//edit//
15.54pm

Actually stuck in school cause I missed the 3.15pm mark this time hahahaha wow what a cool day
Performance was fun, the crowd was dead and it was raining quite heavily and we couldn't hear ourselves but it was fun hahah first time using mic stands and doing choreo for a small scale performance which was nice
Learnt a few things from the cultural booths- there was even a luchador mask on display at the mexican booth so while daya was trying the sombrero I was just trying to comprehend that luchadore wrestling is a real thing and not only on the tv (youtube more like hahah)
Tried a harder version of kendama and their drink and chips which was cool

Supposed to meet yol tomorrow, hopefully it doesn't rain like today ;')
(ok la can rain for a short while let the plants drink)
Ok gotta go do my babysitting duties once I reach home

01.11am

Tired enough to want to rest earlier today
Spent the last 3 hours in the wind by the reservoir with thoroughly wet clothes trying to dry myself- now im both hot and cold hahah
What a day.
Will blog when I wake up.
Harmonix on a Sunday bring it on

//edit//
11.03am

I realise I wake up earlier than necessary when I don't set my alarm which is both good and bad
Good cause it means my own body clock is working well but bad because is compromising my rest time but maybe I do just need that amount of rest who knows
It's raining now and I feel like taking a straight bus to school so if I want to I must begin prepping soon
Choreography class today- i'm skipping dance to learn dance hahah
No idea how it will go but looking forward nonetheless

Still waiting for my self to approve myself to purchase the s9 cause im quite reluctant to change phone it's definitely more of a want than a need
We'll see

Began my Saturday being a professional and ended it as a free spirit
Bahas went well, the new volunteers did their jobs and syuh came back :')
It was apt because we were short of one pengerusi and right as kak falah was asking shabs to standby, syuh walks in hahah
We were so shocked in the best way cause it has been 2-3 years since she came back!

After doing our jobs I went down to Khatib for tatyana alejandro's surprise birthday picnic with the fams!
I mistook 2 humans for one of them but they were not duh but turns out they were yana's friends who were also part of the surprise hahaha
It went well, I think she cried internally
Spent the rest of the day eating, playing games and laughing too much as usual
Khali made us all play a game and the forfeit was to run through the water play area
I didn't have to lose to want to do that anyway so we both ended up getting wet playing hahahah- it was hilarious cause the water jets kept changing and when khali was speaking to a little girl, I saw a sudden stream of water burst out from behind her so I tried to escape to the left but the water came from there too and then everywhere
Then Cena and I did some aerobics and self-entertained
Winded down- tried to, but we were laughing so much idk what we were talking about
Om ended up sending me home and we had a short karaoke session on the way.
I feel like I bought that particular cake at least thrice for people's birthday so to see it again reminded me on how amazing it is
Gotta love cakes

//edit//
23.58pm

I realise I always blog about what happens the day before so when I want to reread it gets confusing so I shall try to live daily update instead hahah which explains now
Had a lovely day!
Choreo class was confusing at first cause when I arrived the groups were doing their things and then keichi and zx in the middle just standing and I realised our group is short of members hahahah so sad
We had no idea where to start but we played around and wallah a masterpiece!
Hahaha jk but it was real fun!
Headed to arab st afterwards to meet kak yati and ele for dupper, dessert and just hanging out hearing stories about the kids- dramatic little farrieal, farley and of course aleesya hahais
Now we're home

I forgot I have a performance tomorrow but nonetheless, may it all go smoothly!
Buenas noches!

I thought ignorance was bliss (02.07am)

But being aware sometimes can strengthen our capabilities.
I'd call it god given but i'm also hopeful that humans are bestowed upon this, it's just whether or not they find it
Hahahaha ok im being dodgy basically i've always been in sync with the universe but these few days after I acknowledged that the synchronicity is getting stronger, it multiplied.
It's a lot of little happenings that basic people call coincidences (hahaha im kidding what are basic people, alkali?) and I don't feel the need to blog about it but it's still cool to share but maybe not now
Just an example, the past three days in a row, I would randomly think about humans I haven't seen in so long and then a few hours later i'd see them.
I mean this has happened tons of time before but not like for consecutive days (it's usually the same person appearing many times in a row at different places) so now im making sure im thinking of the right people (hahaha jk these people just suddenly appear in my mind before my eyes)
K I shan't talk too much
Gotta be up in 4 hours!
(hahaha I appreciate my own efforts to still calculate the number of hours of sleep i'd get even though I know it's futile)

//edit//
07.07am

Well this dream was a first hahahah I cant even fathom the thought!!!!
But cool ok wow I would probably regret not mentioning this in the future when I revisit this post but I think a dream as weird as this would stick in my brain.
Perhaps it has something to do with the conversation I had with yol, who knows.
Also the dream ended with me selecting to play an a cappella song on my phone and right as I clicked on it my alarm rang and you bet my alarm is can't sleep love by ptx hahaha

Right person, right time (01.48am)

Have you ever thought about what it's like if we met the people in our lives earlier or later because sometimes I do
Like imagine if I didn't meet eatgo in primary school, would we have gotten close in secondary school or would she just end up being a hi-bye friend?
Or if I met nelly and yol only in uni- which honestly wouldve not even happened cause we wouldn't cross paths
We couldve hated each other hahahaha im thankful that is not the case in this universe
Also like what if I met my harmonix back in primary school that is such a weird but cool thought like life is so interesting.
And what if I met my MI classmates in uni, would I have interacted more with them?

The right people will always enter our lives at the right time, as will the wrong people leaving at the best time possible (which will either cause joy or heartbreak but sometimes humans are blinded by their own selfish wants and emotions) (not a bad thing though, feelings are what makes life worth living) (that's also why god gave us rationality, to counterbalance and keep our emotions in check)
(Ok why am I lecturing I was here to talk about cool stuff)

Talking about emotions I truly appreciate humans who are true to themselves and expresses their emotions and I have equal respect to those who are able to keep theirs hidden- however you wanna live your life mates just dont hurt or harm others (ok yourself included) all is good

//edit//
22.27pm

Ptx's new cover just dropped and im always impressed though I cant tell if the post breakdown was intense or messy (?)
(Hahahaha anga overheard me listening to it and now he's humming the song)
I really wanted to hate the fact that they're covering lame radio hits when there's so many good songs out there but it also means they're giving these songs a second chance because you know I can't with the original songs Havana New rules and freaking Attention (wtheck is perfume regret) but im not unwilling to listen to ptx hahaha (implicit biasness or what)
(no just a... different taste in music)

Anyway was reading articles on actual superpowers humans have and it ranged from "Oh humans all have little magic in them like I can always revert the tv channel right as the advertisement ends or My friend makes better coffee than all of us even though we all use the same machine" to "Some humans can teleport because their mind breaks their body into fragments that travel at the speed of light and also some humans are invisible and can walk through walls"
Hahahaha what have I done today who knows

My weekend is filled and I havent even told abang I cant attend rehearsal this week again hahahais im getting used to the free sundays already
Bahas season starts tomorrow and calltime is at 8.30am but thankfully it's at queenstown
I always like saringan (even though it's the most tiring part of the competition) cause I meet so many new people and hear so many new ideas from their debate researches
And then finally a choreo class with harmonix on sunday!!!! (I really do dream about them every night wtheck these few days but every dream is a totally different storyline hahaha overly attached)
At least I finally made plans to actually go out with yol besides meeting in school though it is amazing that we're meeting frequently now (in our busiest semester)
Just hoping to catch up with the other two soon! ♡
Hope all is well with everyone
Have a great weekend ahead!

At ease (01.40am)

First and foremost, Happiest 18th birthday to Tatyana alejandro (I shalt not reveal her full name to secure her privacy) (and I still cannot recall if she was born on 22 or 23rd march this is a running joke in the family cause we always get confused but it is also reality hahaha sorry mi primo I love thee)- can you believe the 2000 baby is 18 now because I can't-but then again, 18 being an age of significance is so overrated when in actuality every age is significant psht

Today I felt very in sync with time, place and in minds.
Like during work, the people I were talking to would answer a question right as I was about to ask them, and these questions are like out of the blue topics.
And then I felt like walking towards a place i've never even seen existing at school and found a shortcut from work to class- no more lateness from now on!
And I was thinking of how much I was missing Jorene and was contemplating leaving her a text but right as I left class to attend rehearsal, she was there sitting alone so we got to catch up (I learnt the korean alphabet hahahaha)
And time seemed to be on my side which was amazing, I am so grateful for the forces at work.
I just feel very at ease and joyful today which is great.
(Is it cause harmonix rehearsal resumed hehaha)
Also this happens all the time but I always love it when I say the same thing as someone else at the same time in the same tone especially if
1) The words we say are totally out of context
2) I just met the person

Ok you know today was so lovely I am actually for the first time ever contemplating trying to attend logic later hahahhaha in 5.5 hours
Again, it's just a semi-serious consideration I mean no harm trying (ok harmful cause lack of rest) (hahah excuses)
K no idea how my existence is like tonight let's just go with the flow

ps bless justine for buying me dinner even though it was forced hahahah I appreciate her existence so much

pps had a nostalgic bus ride back with keichi talking about our dramatic sec school lives, we ended on a positive note though so that was nice :')

//edit//
18.01pm

Continued having a peaceful day, the weather is amazing
Until I went to watch Mark henry's hall of fame promo video oh my gosh why are there tears MY MAKE UP IS RUINED
Jk you are worth messed up makeup Henry I truly am happy for you and I just have no words as to how soon this feels

Random music tag (00.35am)

My day turned out well despite missing the shuttle bus again by 1 minute again because idk buses have been slow I trusted yall man
Took a new(ish) route to school where I took bus to City hall and then trained which was bad cause I was so tempted at many times to stop in town and at esplanade to just hang out and ditch school but it was work I had, not lessons zz
Ok here goes

Favourite band/musician of the moment?
When is my answer not Demi Lovato?

Favourite Movie Soundtrack?
When is my answer not the whole High school musical franchise?

A song that makes you want to dance?
So many but in my brain now is Jai ho idk why hahaha

A song that makes you feel badass?
For now it's Instructions, actually most Demi songs makes me feel badass maybe it's just her voice hahaha

Top 3 songs played on your device?
This would be quite inaccurate cause I just cleared and reinstalled my music very recently but: (hahahaha ok I just checked and omg)

#1 Save the world/ Don't you worry child (PTX)
#2 Harmonix's recording of Jingle bells
#3 Dancing on my own (PTX)
Pretty sure #1 used to be Stone cold

The last song you listened to?
Half of Start of something new because I reached home before it ended

Favourite concert you've attended?
I've only actually paid for 2 concerts and I loved both equally; Dato siti nurhaliza and Demi lovato

Name four or more flawless albums
Hahahah crap this tag was not a good idea because in all sincerity; Don't forget, Here we go again, Unbroken, Demi and Confident. (Basically all except Tell me you love me)

Pretty sure Siti has a lot of flawless albums too but she has too many for me to review.

Favourite song from an advert?
Not sure if favourite or overly catchy but in my head now are
#1 Homeway designs FOR SURE
#2 Court's Flexiplan jingle hahahah

A song from the year you were born?
Oooh I googled and the first thing was Because you loved me (Celine dion)- must've been a great year for music hahaha

K buenas noches!

//edit//
06.41am

Woke up feeling like there'd be more breaking news from the wwe universe so I immediately went to instagram to check and truthfully enough, Dbryan has been medically cleared to resume in-ring action!
I mean yall know I don't enjoy him but this is a miracle, and it's truly inspirational.
He retired so young while he was on the pinnacle of his career due to an injury and at that point of time even I felt a sense of like... "Noo" because he was doing so well (though I was so annoyed that he was beating Mark henry and big show zz)
Hate seeing careers end abruptly due to injuries man so this is real good news!

//edit//

15.59pm

I don't understand why I cannot pay attention in this prof's class for the life of me mate 

Is it his voice or the fact that he entertains too-simplistic ideas or because he allows too much students' input 

I don't know but I don't enjoy it as much regardless of how fun the topics actually are hahaha

I tried to focus but my brain just 'no thanks'

I took his classes 4 times and all 4 times I tend to skip classes cause I truly mourn the waste of 3 hours but I mean he's nice but maybe just don't match my learning style (which idk what it is hahaha)

Still thank you for your effort I will keep trying 

Ooh yay (00.11am)

New episodes of little big shots are out finally!
Love them kids
And I feel like this week will be a week of small changes, because feeling something is better than not feeling at all, and showing emotions is always appreciated- if not by others, by myself
I will try not be as stoic as people think I am (some people do and it baffles me) (im just too cool ok there's a difference hahahaha jk) (or am I)
K bye

//edit//
01.56am

I think my heartbeat stopped for 0.45 seconds.
Ok yes it totally did and i'm not even being dramatic
Congratulations to the world's strongest man, it will always feel too soon when wrestlers I grew up with gets inducted :')
From the hall of pain to fame.
You belong in both.

Well deserved, for being a great source of entertainment in my life, for being elephant's alleged lover, for that fake retirement speech in your pink tuxedo (hahahaha disguspink btw) and for all the pain you've put your fellow wrestlers in- Thank you times a million! ♡

(im still in shock oh my henry)

Some things we'll never get used to (13.22pm)

Spent the whole night listening to siti nurhaliza's live performances cause she's the best, and then...
Woke up this morning to the news that my favourite singer has given birth to her first child :')
It always warms my heart to see how dearly loved she is
This joyful news was featured in so many news outlet (including channel newsasia and straits time) and rightfully so; it just shows how being true to yourself, being sincere, patient and polite will get you through trials and get you far- she has been in the industry for as long as I lived
So yes the baby is only a few hours old but already so blessed!
I pray for the health of both mum and child
Lowkey still cannot believe that there is an actual descendant of my favourite legend.
I hope the child grows beyond the shadows of her mum's legacy, whilst still being protected within it.

Sometimes we do good not just for us but for our future generations.
Like when I go to family events by myself for instance, the people immediately associate me with my mum or dad who are always helping around, so they without knowing me, already have a decent first impression.
Which is both cool and bad if you think about the major responsibility of parenting on your shoulders hahahahah

For siti it's 11 years of waiting, there may be others out there who have waited longer or are still waiting but this just shows that insyaallah with effort, your prayers will be answered.
And im very unqualified to talk about parenthood hahahahaha but who cares wisdom comes beyond age and experience (no midwifing ok socrates)

ps the nutella doughnut was sold out but I still got krispy kreme so whatever im still happy hahah

Probablemente shouldnt have mentioned (04.42am)

-and jinx my well rested being
Up all night writing stories and the skeleton of a new song, and rewatching old vlogs- lowkey wants to resume editing on my phone cause it's so much more productive and convenient than letting the clips wait in my laptop untouched

//edit//
12.00pm

Honestly dreams are so intriguing I don't blame humans for making up folklores or 'facts' about them.
Like I would suddenly be hanging out with people I haven't spoken to ever but perhaps saw around in school
Needless to say my dreams has returned to be vivid and interesting (probably reflecting my zen state of mind as of now) but most of them these days involves harmonix hahahah lame overly attached even in my dreams
Ok I feel like going out actually
Got my optimal 5 hours sleep and once again I feel energetic (I even contemplated going to dance rehearsal SEE TOLD YOU I cant trust myself in making absolute(ish) decisions)

//edit//
12.24pm

Okay that settles it I HAVE to go out today because Krispy kreme released their nutella filled original glazed doughnut on 17th March and I was like "I cant wait that long" but 17th March was yesterday hahahahaha sense of time non-existant but STILL !!!

Foreign feeling (23.06pm)

Yesterday was cool, I met kak yati early (by early I mean I was one hour early- ikr who am I? this is not me hahahaha jk) and then helped with the wedding preparations! I learnt how to make sireh junjung where I had to fold two leaves and tie them with a stick and tape, made a garland of Jasmine from scratch, learnt about old traditions from nyai and revised the dance with the kids.

Let me just say the kids did so well, I was so proud. When the newlyweds had their change of clothes (from a white modernish kebaya to a black javanese one- both extremely gorgeous- and today's purple songket omg why I love it) it was our cue to perform and at first Farley freaked out saying "I dont want to do it" but then I just said "We're in this together, we will look at the bride and groom and ignore the rest" and he immediately got ready to perform hahaha here's to imparting life skills from HSM

I guess everyone was shocked at Mairah cause she did it!!! When elephant first taught them, she didnt want to join so we all thought like "Ok la impossible" but when I was teaching the boys she suddenly asked "Then where do I stand?" so of course I just assumed she was in, standbying in case she changes her mind last minute BUT SHE DID NOT, she went through with it!!!! I think she made her mummy tear up with joy hahah (tip if you're dealing with kids, don't make it a big deal in case they get self-conscious and refuse to do it again and dont make them feel like they have to do it.)

Chiqa too omg she learnt the steps like an hour before the performance, my baby did so well. The boys were so sporting and they had smiles on their faces (I almost typoed smile as slime hahahaha), and I could see them having fun, especially Farrieal. I'm so proud of them, and was beyond elated when we finished and they said they wanted to perform again :') ♡

Went home early cause shagged and although I still had energy to take the bus home mama wanted to sponsor grab so thanks I tried to refuse but I didnt in the end hahaha bless

Woke up really early today feeling quite well rested, as did I feel at least 2 nights in a row- even though I hit snooze I feel like it's more of a want than a need which is great

Went for the wedding again this time at concorde, ate and met my families; including all the babies finally together again but im so sad izzul doesnt recognize me as much omg I was at your house every week once upon a time ok you used to love me hahahaha emo. It just means i'll have to visit them more often then so both him and Izzah will get used to me again muahaha operation take over babies begin

Joined Valkyries for their rehearsal today, lovely progress I gotta say!
And then walked to keichi's workplace with him where we decided to dessert first, dinner later.
It was then I realised his chinese name can be (mis)pronunced as cheesy so I asked the rest "who is the cheesiest of us all" and Riana said "keichi!" and I was like "yessss" but then she said "Because Keicheese" hahahahah crap la nonsense but hilarious
Val said she would eat the waffles everyday hahaha you go girl I support your noble cause
Sat down at a sushi joint with them afterwards sharing traditions of hari raya and chinese new year- oh my gosh I got another semi-heartattack because Riana and Rico have never heard of humans eating rice with soy sauce wtheck (thankfully val not only heard of that but she ate it before too)
I then walked back to smu and then now im home alone cause everyone is out duh the night is still young im the youth but im the one at home pshttt
Ok la lowkey just tired of roving hahaha

Foreseeing a lazy or productive Sunday ahead, depends on my mood
I want to take a short break from dancing but I dont trust myself, I feel like once I inform them, i'll attend the next rehearsal and confuse everyone (and more importantly myself)
S9 is out btw but I still cant make up my mind
K if fate allows us to happen we will happen ok

ps talking about elephant, tb to anjung adat during our finale rehearsal, she was just sitting behind me so I called her "Elephant!" and the two boys behind us looked hahahahahah they thought I was calling them idk whether to be sorry or laugh (ok I laughed but they laughed too)

pps this is why sometimes people think my name is ellie cause we call each other ellie like short for elephant hahahaha disguspink

03.48am

I should really be sleeping
An early and long day ahead of me, may it all go well!

ps now that s9 will be out in 5 hours time im seriously doubting whether or not to grab it hahahaha it's just really troublesome to change phones k whatever let me not think about that 

This is good (11.40am)

Finally a day to breathe- even then I have no idea how long it will last but this is beyond necessary!
Had an unnecessary morning yesterday but the day built up mostly because of the weather, meeting my niece and nephews and aunt and then Harmonix.
Cabbed to school in the morning cause of work but when I reached the girl just texted asking "Can I not come" lolll
I mean my day was to go to school for 1.5 hours, and then punggol and then school again and one of those turned out completely unnecessary but whatever, everything happens for a reason- just maybe phrase your sentence better?? (I mean what would you do if I answered NO you must come hahaha)
All is good though, the trains to punggol was empty and my babies were extra talkative so that was lovely
I learnt that mairah ate NO vegetables except brocolli but she can eat a whole giant fish by herself
Danced for a bit before rewarding them with incredible tales and then leaving for school for (actually cancelled) rehearsal
Ended up reaching home after midnight anyways
Ok please have a lovely day like I plan to have

Did I mention that when I met yol after work on monday we learnt some thai and latin (using that excuse to watch some ratna putri clips from pontianak menjerit) that was great 

ps Me: finally a day to rest
Also me: where can i go today

What a trial but as usual I survived (00.09am)

Grand news im finally at home even though I reached home at 6.30pm that was 5.5 hours of waiting outside
I spent the last 20 mins just singing outside my door cause my laptop died my phone almost died and I had nothing else to do
Then I heard a zoom of the motorcycle and my heart leapt before my brain could guess but I knew it was Along and then Shammy screamed "HI LOSER" (obvs referring to herself) and I couldnt stop dancing in joy cause yay thanks
Made a new friend at the playground with an uncle who kept asking "Why are you sitting here go home and do your work lah" and I was like no comment
Well that was an uncomfortable session of walking the same route thrice and sitting at the playground but hi I finally have access to food and electricity now
Along asked why I didnt go to Sentosa to get the keys and at first I was like "Omg why didnt I" but then I remembered how exhausted I was feeling this afternoon and I realise I wasnt able to comprehend taking a bus or train to anywhere
K I survived I shall try the new cookies and cream milk I found while buying ice cream- did I mention when I was feeling so helpless at 9.30pm my brain said "You know what you need now? Ice cream" and therefore I did duh it made me feel better thanks
Kkkk bye apparently yol got lost hahahah we started today blessed and ended it weird our mega telepathy strong at work

//edit//
12.13pm

The weather is lovely.

Mixed emotions but in a good way I guess (01.29am)

I have a test in 9 hours time but I know nothing and i'm still at kak yati's place playing with the kids hahaha

Priorities

Oh well

Had an unexpectedly smooth day, worked and then hung out with a loser (hi loser) 

We managed to satisfy our chocolate cravings but we felt tipsy afterwards hopefully the chocolate lava cake we consumed did not contain alcohol???

Maybe we just drunk from each other hahahah 

About the test hais she gave us 20 questions but will only test us 10 of them which is gross cause i'm not about the memorising life

Anyway a day without rehearsal makes me feel restless hahaah I feel like i'm forgetting to go or something

Ok we should go home soon

Would've totally sleptover if it weren't for the badly placed test loserrrr

k byeee

//edit//

07.14am

I felt like I had 2 cycles of the same dream(s) last night which was quite cool, no idea if the brain is making things up

The Believer song by hmx is still in my head and although i'm quite happy to mumble incomprehensibly to the song perhaps I should learn the lyrics soon to enjoy the full experience

Today might end up to be a tiring day idk- after the test I have 2 interviews to conduct and then would have to travel down to punggol for more dance lessons with the kids

I think just physically i'd be quite dull and idk what else will help me besides prayers and willpower hahah ok hopefully it won't turn out as bad and dramatic as it sounds

Anyway honestly sleep calculator has been so important because once we understand sleep cycles we'd understand why some days we just don't hear our alarms while some days the littlest noise can wake us up

(aka yesterday vs today hahahah)

But yes tried and tested over a few years with a high percentage of passes so try it out- probably won't work for everyone but worth a shot I guess

K I should find ways to start the morning right

//edit//
14.23pm

OK im sorry I am working now but I loserly went to check instagram just to be greeted by news that John cena finally called Undertaker out for a Wrestlemania match.
I have mixed feelings- on one hand i'm like "FINALLY!" but seeing as Cena is the only rightful and logical way (besides Kane) to retire the phenom, it feels like this would potentially be Taker's final Wrestlemania (for now please I don't want to lose you deadman)
Which is really scary because it might mean that Taker could be an inductee in next year's Hall of fame and I have always told myself I WILL BE IN ATTENDANCE DURING HIS INDUCTION
And I will, whatever it takes!
I deserve to hear that bell ring in real life and experience the legend himself.
I also need to watch the promo soon, I feel like I will cry once I hear those words omg dream match but dont but inevitable but why

See, I finally found something scarier than The Undertaker- not having the undertaker.

//edit//

21.00pm

I have been loitering around my neighbourhood for the past almost-3 hours because I cant find my keys and noone is at home 

Usually i'd travel out to have a solo outing but im too exhausted to move 

This is crazy

My batt's on 4% and I cant make decisions for myself (waited twice at the bustop for 20 mins but the bus I wanted didnt arrive- I was gonna just stay at the playground till someone comes home (mama ele and chiqa are at johor and along and anga are working) until kak yati texted saying the kids were looking for me :')

So then I considered going over to their place and sleeping over but I couldnt see myself being alive (omg what did i do why am i so shagged)

So before the bus came I realised I have no class tomorrow so technically after work I can rush down to punggol to teach the kids and then back to school for harmonix

ps thankfully there's wireless sg here??? I cant imagine being stranded with no connections whatsoever

Feels manageable (01.55am)

I forgot I had to teach a few kids dance this whole week hahahah
Thankfully (x300) 2 classes are cancelled cause prof chris is not in town :')
Let's hope the kids will have fun dancing together with me eheheh
(Somehow I agreed to go johor on tuesday I just realised I have a test on that day hahaahhahah so much for agendaing)
Oh well

Don't hold it against me (11.49am)

I had a real good day yesterday, will blog about it soon!

Events are like holidays, when it's over it feels like we have to go back to chores hahahaha lame
Anyway wow recess week was just rehearsals- wouldnt have wanted it any other way
But it also means I have a lot of things to settle and chiong by tomorrow before I return to school on tuesday- tests, assignments, a lot of proposals (?? still find these unnecessary), forced interactions and more rehearsals
But im keeping the spirit up, may I have the patience, strength and courage to execute each agenda to the best of my abilities.

//edit//
21.23pm

Do you refer to him as Dwayne johnson or The rock because it's weird how people call him differently feels so hannah montana hahahahah
Either way he's still the people's champ
I still havent watched jumanji!
And I feel like going hiking soon.
Good thing is the things on my agenda will be over by Tuesday
Come on good vibes

ps my self at this time of the year last year advised that i have the steering wheel of life and i can change mine anytime anywhere thanks

pps wtheck went on to continue reading my march 2017 posts after blogging the above and i also blogged about the rock then HAHAHAHA we are perfectly in sync past me hello

Think too much (03.36am)

Currently watching Hidden things- so far so impactful! Lynn is asleep beside me and cherry is busy revising what even girl may your hardwork pay off ♡ 
Just got back from supper with 5/8 of evokals who for the first time are all staying in school together hahaha I love this dedication
It's a lovely night.
Competition today and after that I have so many things to care about again hahahais im just gonna embrace today as it is before thinking about other things

//edit//

14.24pm

I lost the need to tell people I know about my events but I always love it when my fellow performers have friends and family come over cause like I didnt even tell anyone i'll be performing (why would you want to come watch ive performed a million times) so yes today my team and I are in the top 12 semi-finalists for a school talent competition and we are competing against demonix, dance groups, magician, yoyo master (SUPER COOL I SAW HIM DOING HIS THING IN THE DRESSING ROOM) and bands 

How do we decide (09.54am)

Supposed to be in school by now but when my alarm rang I couldnt fathom the thought of getting up hahha
Slept in for a bit but now im blogging to wake myself up
How do we know when to push ourselves and when to decide you need a bit of lag time cause idek if im feeling shagged from the week's activities or just not sleeping enough or both
Lame hahah I didnt even have energy to sing yesterday but after awhile of being around evokals I found it back hahaha
Ok im supposed to leave home in 43 mins time but I also have to pack but im also recuperating
We'll see how life goes today

ps soundcheck for centerstage today! 

We're in this together (01.08am)

Had a real fun day, and despite feeling pretty shagged, seeing my fellow harmonix being half zombie is like ayy we feeling each other
Will blog later on, I gotta rest
Still can't get over weekday performances hahaha it's always so random
Thankfully it's 1 item (and by 1 item I mean a 10 mins mashup of 3 of our repertoires)
But still it should be pretty informal idk we'll see
Calltime at 8am all the way at Admiralty por favor
Here's to a blessed day ahead!

//edit//
17.17pm

Im in schooool finalmente- I was surrounded by people who escaped school to perform today and I was there like "I want to go to school"
The performance went well!
It was so chillax and the people were just smiling at us so it was really lovely (especially this lady in red who kept nodding and acknowledging us everytime we made eye contact)
(so yes psa to everyone out there, if you enjoy a performance please show it to the performers no matter the event or stage- it is the only worthwhile payment honestly to see the audience enjoying what we worked hard for)
Oh then we had a picnic in the studio hahah watching a cartoon that initially was meant to be background noise but it was so hilarious we'd all be trying not to laugh but fail together hais weird cartoon thanks for entertaining us (also it feels like forever since I last watched the television- i feel like couch potatoing can be considered a talent is anyone out there talented in this sector of life)
Ok now is seemingly naptime before everyone else comes
K I shall rest my brain

Again?! (09.02am)

What's up with me misgauging time again hahahah this is nonsense but idk how did it happen twice now
I've set my waking up alarm as the time i'm supposed to leave home
WHO DOES THAT
What was I thinking while setting the alarm it's like a whole different person cause our logic dont match
Ok gotta get ready sooon
Im conducting a movement's workshop later on which is weird cause im like "yay conducting workshop" but also like "huh what am I gonna do"
But I aint worried bruh because I set my aim simple: For us all to move
Hahaha kk byeee have a fantabulous day ahead!

Readjusting myself (01.32am)

Reminder to always see the good in people- it'll always be worth it

//edit//
03.39am

Went through countless videos of good and bad live performances these past few weeks to gain concert inspiration and just now halfway watching a certain performer doing her thing I was like "why am I torturing myself with this when there's Beyonce in the recommended list"
So there begins my journey hahaha
K my batt's at 4% I should charge it have a drink and then.... idek if I want to sleep tonight

//edit//
06.58am

I have a decision to make between a want and what i'd call... commitment (?)
Why must it occur on the same day hahahaha bruh so many days in the year yall chose to ask me on the exact same date por favor what did I do
Anyway Putri duyung is getting intense omg I keep putting off watching the next episode cause as much as I have been waiting to watch it since it disappeared halfway at the end of 2015, I don't want it to end
Currently at episode 93/114
Im excited to see what happens but also im dreading the lack of content after im done hahahahais
Good job on these past few episodes cause the suspense is really suspenseful hahahaha ok I already showered but I feel like im gonna want a power nap
8-11 sounds good but we'll see if I can achieve that

Random necessity (16.51pm)

Man ive been having this weird need to interact with babies and cats idk why so specific but it is a genuine craving
It got to the point where I dreamt about playing with this black cat which had really long claws and someone tried to make the cat bite my fingers but it didnt injure me one bit hahahahah such a precious gem
I mean ive always loved babies but ive never like NEEDED to hold one except last night (maybe it's after I watched a video of adults holding babies for the first time- one of them is a 40 year old lady)
Ok I have chiqa she's quite a baby
It also means i'll have to visit izzul and izzah soon (hopefully next week since theyre having their holidays)

My plans today were to go for Beztari's site recce for the upcoming production but I snoozed my alarm and they ended earlier than expected so that was a no go
And then I wanted to go to esplanade library to hang out and run some errands but Mondays are babysitting days and I dont think Chiqa will stay awake if I bring her there hahah
Makes me realise how brutal primary and secondary school is omg lowkey torture man
Looking forward for a jam packed week ahead!
May Allah grant me patience, health and lots of positivity to not only get through this week, but to ACE IT ♡

ps still doesnt distract me from babies and cats por favor

//edit//
22.11pm

Was sitting around craving sushi (what even is today a day of cravings hahaha lame) and mama asked if we wanted any that is random but completely necessary

Recess week is for the weak (20.56pm)

With my current non-academic schedule, recess week is accurately placed on the semester calendar.
Which im glad about.
Today's training was a short new choreo which is quite fun so far ahahha and then we medleyed 3 repertoires which was cool but bruh it quickly reminded me how tiring dancing it (fiqah was still feeling the burn of dana and im like same, I thought I was healed but no)
An off day tomorrow before another full week of rehearsals
Im hoping to take sunday off por favor
We'll see

//edit//
21.49pm

I love people who respects my passion hahahah im so blessed to have supportive humans all around me
I hope im doing enough to support the people around me too because they deserve the best ♡

//edit//
22.35pm

I used to not care about my vocal range cause like why but idk since joining harmonix people around always seem to ask that age old question
Ok so this post is just to say that I was singing in F2?????
I was singing then I was like "why is it so low" and turns out it IS low hahahahah yes come through increased vocal range

//edit//
22.39pm

NO I tried again and I cant hahahhaa this is why self awareness sometimes is not good cause it makes us conscious
Loser man but at least I know im capable of producing that noise hehehehhaha

//edit//
22.57pm

Do you ever feel love for someone you dont even know, or talk to on a regular basis?
A friend you've not seen for a decade or that kind stranger you always see helping others at the bus stop?
Because that's lovely and it also means all souls are loved- even if we don't say it out loud.
Maybe let's try to acknowledge our hearts more?
Begin with us.

Decisions to make (01.48am)

Goodbyes mean Till we meet again
Perhaps that is why we never do-
Because we parted without warning

Ended up having a pretty lovely chill day, working on choreo and attempting to edit our original medley (also did fishtail braid for cherry which ended up looking so nice cause of her hair colour guuurl)
Had a bus ride filled with new knowledge hahahah it is so cool how the person you meet almost everyday can do things that are very out of the ordinary unbeknownst to you
Tried the new chocopie which is nice but I cant imagine a neat way to eat it omg hahaha what a messy food
Ok I have to be in school in about 7 hours time
Really hope my groupmates are feeling good and calm, if not we'll find calmness together tomorrow hahaha
Buenas noches, no idea if i'll be able to sleep

ps saw a (HOPEFULLY FAKE) poster that a kpop group will be performing at Wrestlemania this year and if that happens (WHICH I HOPE IT DOESNT) im officially on team boycott wwe 2018

//edit//
20.49pm

Officially 6/7 days of aca rehearsals
Loving it
What is tired

//edit//
23.32pm

I dont know why im feeling sleepy hahaha it's probably the transition between one sleeping pattern to another- I have been sleeping from 2-7am for 2 nights now heheh
But no chance of sleeping cause it's not 2am yet and my body just refuses to rest why you so strict on timetabling
Today was fun!
Performed for the open house which wasnt the best performance but it is so pardoned cause it was our first time and idk it was a very informal setting so I couldnt care too much
Anyway the stage was very comfortable (not that I was rolling around on it but still) and there was a lady who kept smiling while watching us such a lovely person
And of course Mark who suddenly appeared right as I asked "who will be taking videos for us"
Magic
Headed to SMU afterwards for meeting and rehearsal, I appreciate how we all kept trying despite feeling tired.
And I thought im back to lepak sundays but no I have training tomorrow hahahaha cry with me but it's ok at least im healed fully now, alhamdulillah! (lowkey miss dancing but not rehearsals)
Today was a day of 5 mins microwaved food hahahah
K I should rest

Truly a sorcery (00.49am)

I expected to crash as soon as I reach home but im feeling more awake as the night gets deeper
Ended up having a lovely evening despite a weird first half of the day, and crying over big show
Suddenly met bestoe before attempting to choreo with half of evokals for the first time (so interesting and im excited for us!)
Let us keep our spirits and passion strong
Ok I think it's dinner time for me now

//edit//
11.29am

Resort to blogging to clear the mind
You know when you just know something will happen but hope it doesnt but it happens anyway and youre not too shocked but it still is troubling
I literally imagined the same scenario before I fell asleep (me waking up half hour before im supposed to be in school) and it really happened bruh (ok I woke up at 7 and then went back to sleep but unbeknownst to me my phone died)
Honestly ok thankfully most of my parts are coverable and as bad as I feel towards my groupmates I believe things happen for a reason.
Here's to a better day ahead

And you know when someone is so immature, rash and just all around narrow minded that nothing they say surprises you anymore and you know getting mad or annoyed is not worth it cause it's just who they are but you just wished they would cease to exist
Yes im looking at you
Please uphold your (hopefully still existant) moral integrity

Priorities man (03.29am)

So I thought i'd review the lecture slides for the test later but I ended up binge watching pentatonix ugh why (and now my brain is too creatively stimulated to care about some formulas lameee)
Test in exactly 5 hours time talk to my hand man
Had a really nice day despite being unable to function in the day- cabbed to school only to find out the test has started.
Thankfully he set it to end at 4pm instead of 3.30pm (I reached a bit before 3.15pm)
Alhamdulillah
Couldnt pay attention for the rest of class I was just excited to rehearse hahahaha
I'm rekindling the excitement in working on a song- it has felt like so long since.
According to my sleep calculator I should sleep at 4am if I want to wake up at 5.45am
According to me I should sleep soon
Buenas noches

//edit//
05.27am

Wth blogger recently has this tendency of not saving whatever I typed this is unacceptable you loser
Whatever
I cant sleep so i'd probably leave class right after the test to rest my brain
(Ask me again later cause I might feel bad again and not leave again)

//edit//
09.50am

Man that was a bad test but hearing that Anna too didnt know what she was doing gave me comfort ahahaha
I escaped class but I feel bad but i'd feel worse if I was in class but not paying attention.
At least here I can jam hahah
Ok I know I said I was gonna nap but like I said my brain is in the state of music making
Had a troublesome morning but here's to a better journey ahead
(i realise school seems so dull without any rehearsals to look forward to ahaha especially since i'd been having rehearsals everyday this week)

//edit//

15.05pm

Currently eating my lunchinner in class, when I had a revelation

Maybe my diet is encouraging my nocturnal tendencies

Cause I usually don't have time to eat, so I end up having my meals at supper time past midnight

And then I fall asleep like 3-6 hours later 

So does my body assume it's dinner or is dinner a social construct hahahahahhaah

k bye

//edit//
16.38pm

Here I was having an Okay day but I feel so personally attacked seeing news of Big show's contract ending
I can't focus in class anymore la forget it these tears are real
Let me go emo for 7 years

//edit//
16.44pm

Crappp reading the comments section on that facebook post of Big show is making me feel worse NOO STOP PLEASE people are using phrases like "The Show is over" NO dont be disgusting you are making me cry more u losers

//edit//
17.41pm

No I said goodbye to my prof but he reminds me of big show it made me sad agaIN