Honestly cannot comprehend this (05.50am)

Just reached home from a really lovely day-night out.
I cannot for the life of me comprehend that it's the last day of 2017.
But that's it, December has been so wild that the usual reflecting month turned into a Yay milestone month and finally i've come to this.
Alhamdulillah for this year, the good and bad,

Today I realised that I might (and I say might) really be a thinker which encompasses all rites of thinking.
My dear people were all sharing their experiences, emotions and straight up heartfelt confessions and somehow I felt like they didn't see how I understand.
It's either the lack of my communication or the fact that I didnt have a tangible story to share but either way, humans probably just crave validation and relations
And I also realise (hahaha fake i've realised this long ago) that the reason I write more than I say is because humans rarely hear to listen but to respond- and can therefore be very interruptive to the everchanging human brain who we all gotta understand cant make itself up.

One thing is for sure, I appreciate their courage and honesty.
And that the idea that you need to brand yourself can be overrated.
Life really is about balance.
Not easy to comprehend whatmore carry out in practice, but ultimately, it will be the thing that keeps us going, sane and human.
Compassionate, strong, paradox of a being; human.

//edit//
07.37am

Lol just when I thought I could rest, my alarms rang hahah thanks mate
Dance in less than 3 hours time so technically I can get ready now but....
Gimme a second please

//edit//
13.39pm

Currently in the studio, I can't believe im spending new year's eve with both harmonix and dance aka dare I say the things that made my year busy as heck I love it though im physically not ready to move properly
At least I got 2 choreos down

//edit//
17.54pm

Back to the comforts of mi casa
I have so many things to think about and settle to ensure a smoother transition to the next chapter but for now,
We'll leave it till next year.
Hahhahaahaa i'll never get tired of these jokes
Got to play in the rain after training and then had a peaceful bus ride home
Please do have a lovely evening.

Quiet sighs (01.01am)

I think i managed to sleep for an hour before I was interrupted hahahais anyway if I do sleep tonight it'd be 2 days worth of energy consumption so buenas noches

//edit//

06.52am

Just woke up and idk why im up 

Happy birthday mama (02.37am)

Heheheh had a lovely day
Lazy morning though these past few years the last week of December has been semi-hibernation week for me which is good because I then begin the new year fresher
Gathered with the fams at the airport today and had mama's birthday dinner
We pranked her with lame gifts (before opening them she was already crying tears of joy and we were all giggling evilly like Wait till you see what's inside) including clothpins, mothballs, (hehehe i love saying mothballs cause that's what I call people) a jumping Snake in a can and a toy spider taped to the bottom of the box cover
Then we went bowling and had mini krispy kreme doughnuts- bless honestly origlazed is a true bff
And then we gave mama her real presents
Good day, all praises to Allah!

I have a gig in 10 hours time heheh and we are meeting in 7 hours
I should try and nap before 4
Seeing the past few days I doubt that could occur but we'll try regardless
Have a splendid day ahead!

ps happy birthday nek busu, mak ngah and nikki zombie love yalls ♡

//edit//

04.04am

Halp i cant sleep hahaha anyway im still not used to my new blog title it sounds so churchy idk

//edit//

05.15am

Already missing gamingmas and I havent even finished watching all 24 videos hahahais 

//edit//

06.51am

Aish forget it anyway as an on-timer is there such a thing as getting ready too early cause that's what I feel like doing right now ok lah can also

//edit//

14.36pm

Done with the show, it was fun! Currently at macs- im walletless and lowkey falling into the pits of drunk before I rise again with the ashes and go beyond sleepiness

Yup obviously im not thinking straight- this should be interesting

//edit//

22.27pm

Today was funnn even though it was a day of Nos; no sleep, no food, no wallet but bless I survived! And omg ok we were all on the same frequency of energy both physically and vocally it is weird but nice cause relatable and like we helped each other through it. I couldnt catch my notes for the Christmas song so I was creating my own harmonies which was not nice but I was too busy delivering the song to the masses to care. The audience was lovely, thank you for having us! And guess which caterer made a comeback hahahah I was excited cause christmas feast=this caterer (not mentioned cause no branding deal hahaha jk but it's nice, really)

Spent afterwards at vivo singing while walking (lowkey flashmob) and then we were all trying to trick each other even while half awake and I couldnt stop laughing because of them. 

I should try and sleep tonight even though second sleepless nights brings new highs (hahahah jk dont believe me this is not scientifically proven)

Another gig tomorrow and then dance on sunday aka I have 3 choreos to learn and revise I want to faint 

Is there such a thing (00.54am)

Am I too cool, is that a thing
My job is to ignore misconceptions especially from people who arent worth explaining

Today was productive, alhamdulillah!
Looking forward to tomorrow~

ps i changed my blog title and it looks so weird on mobile lol talk to my hand 

1.56am, again! (1.56am)

Woo I was deciding whether to blog now when I saw that the time is exactly the same as yesterday's so I gotta do it
Had rehearsal which ended 2 hours ago idk my vocal cords do not enjoy singing low notes but that's how we grow right hahah
Exciting few days (ok make it week) ahead
I can't comprehend that it's the last week of the year cause it's a perfect mon-sun in the calendar mann bless
Have a great day ahead like I plan to have heheh insyaallah

Girl power coming through (01.56am)

Besides the fact that I now have my own version of wonderwoman ring, this past year has been a year I witness girls building other girls up and I love it.
Doesnt matter their sexual orientation, when a girl goes out of her way to comment, criticize (purposefully) and just all around help secure each other's confidence, it's one of the best things ever.
I applaud us for slowly but hopefully surely getting over the phase of tearing each other down cause that crap is so done.
Here's to more diverse beauty, brains and joy!
Girl love ♡

Feat my beautiful sisters

//edit//

06.36am

Should probably nap before training tonight haahah probably 

Happy holidays! (02.15am)

Lol elephant and chiqa are jamming to christmas songs in the living room
Im like "wait why am i sleepy" then i realise it's 2am hahahaha
K buenas noches I had an emo night recalling how far harmonix has come and I just accidentally passed on the emotions to the rest hahah

//edit//
06.13am

Wth I woke up to my phone disappearing
Santa is supposed to give me things not take my things ????
Anyway had a pleasant christmas eve aka our last carolling session of the year.
Screaming in malls once a year (with purpose) is potentially therapeutic hahahha
Had lunch afterwards before I rolled home
There were blessings everywhere that made me feel joy inside; including the grab driver who said his wife was 34 months pregnant, the grabsharer who wasnt sure if he himself celebrates christmas, people stopping to watch us sing, people who came to watch us sing, thoughtful people, aish countless lah actually.
No idea what im doing today but I dont need an idea since when do I need an idea.
K buenas dias!

//edit//

21.48pm

Today was an up and down; very uneventful, missing a tradition, but chiqa and I made something out of ice-cream sticks, and then I napped but perked up again at the idea of training potentially resuming tomorrow, but then I realise im gonna miss Harmonix's photoshoot, but random niceness from people made me happier again heheh

Here's to a great day ahead

What am I doing (00.12am)

I have a gig in 10 hours and I just arrived at a karaoke place hahaha i cant even
I had a lovely day today with the famsss after almost a week of being busy with my own stuff
Update soon!

//edit//
03.10am

Literally just got off a speedy motorcycle ride
I should rest I have high notes (and people) to hit tomorrow hahahaha jk no notes hitting hahaha jk again im not abusive

//edit//
10.01am

Help I cant bring myself to get up hahah
It's cold what even
Im supposed to reach our carolling venue in 58 + 15 minutes haiz ok la i'll get up by 10.08 ;')

Haha wow (03.17am)

Just got home from boardgaming, I like how mama knows by now that when im out late it's always with a bunch of awesome nerds fighting over weird things and being drunk on morning air

//edit//
19.50pm

Currently at wingstop- 2 days in a row hahahahahaha this is a new high

Already missing them (03.34am)

Kinda just reached home after a lame cab ride
I shall go settle down proper :')

//edit//
03.54am

This trip is a lot on the art of letting go and letting god, also a test of our patience and like nelly said at the start of the trip; travelling is the way to get to know a real someone.
I found out they're mostly just as cool except yol who needs extra oxygen, water, and wifi apparently omg what a plant.
Needless to say im looking forward to our next trip together.
This was a 5 year overdue grad trip hahahah
Alhamdulillah.
Now to decide whether to sleep or not
(lol jk i'd probably fall asleep soon)
Training in 10 hours time
K buenas noches sweetdreams!

ps i saw the most beautiful cats (ok all cats are beautiful) on display in a pet shop but i was attracted to one grey cat but when i went back to look at it it was gone WHY MUST SOMEONE BUY MY CAT right as I saw it????? Rude please takecare of it well

pps or it was just brought to the back for checking or anything idk but i saw the box at the cashier so D:

//edit//
11.26am

The women's royal rumble is locked and going!
So exciting, let us not mess this up ok WWE

Whyyy (02.35am)

Winding down surprisingly early tonight despite us planning to stay awake and sleep later in the bus hahaha
Began the day later by photoshooting weird stuff before we grabbed to a Nasi kandar place to have brunch.
(Ok wait honestly my eyes feel heavy is it cause i've been wearing my lenses for long hours)
I'll resume this post when I wake up ok hehe
Sweetdreams

//edit//
17.20pm

Our bus was supposed to arrive an hour and 5 mins ago but they said delayed an hour I think they meant 1 and a half hour ha ha ha ha
So far this trip has been the worst bus experience ive had, (let it stay the worst please) and it's from the bus company i've been using since i can remember and theyve always been so unproblematic
As long as we reach home safely im good

//edit//
11.55pm

Still on the road, I reckon we're close to the malaysian custom.
Haizzz can we turn back hahahah

When was the last time (02.40am)

Finally winding down after a short music lesson, critique session and more importantly, a loling session over Jozan and Sepah hahah
Had an early morning spent with coffee, judging advertisements and dramas, taking our time getting ready and playing taiti while being serenaded by PTX
(lol talking about taiti just now we were like Ok when we go back to our apartment can play taiti but now everyone is asleep except nelly i think idk she's opposite me and my blanket is too thick it's blocking my view hahaha)
Had brunch nearby before grabbing to curve where we spent the whole day.
Began with roaming around ecurve and visiting the arcade before we excitedly found a bowling centre ok ah one of our favourite pasttimes together but it was extra fun because for the second game we played half the game with our left hands and the other half by doing curveballs only.
Last game was epic; we did a different style every throw including ballet, malay dance, backwards and two handed throws.
(when we enter grabs and also the bowling alley idk why they change from malay to english songs like we love our malay songs ok not like we are totally english bruh)
It was so funnn hahaha
And then the highlight of the day, escape room.
We tried the mysterious room which had a cool concept (we were agents trying to retrieve a stolen diamond and key to escape the room- lowkey we were the thieves ah hahaha) and setup (there was a hidden door behind a giant painting)
It's like we dont know what to look for, some clues are so lowkey it's not even lowkey it's underground key it's lower than tim foust's voice
But we solved it ah hahaha
But then we were unsatisfied because there was another room we were more interested in so we literally booked another session while eating chocolate at dipndip right when we were done
So we roamed for awhile before heading back to the escape room.
This next room is called Room 13, a hauntedish hotel concept
But it was more baffling than cool because the clues were ok freaking whale frequency because (ok maybe cause we never played escape rooms before- ok I have with philo) but the clues (even the first one) was pretty very far fetched.
Very cool mechanics though, like a painting moved when we picked up a phone.
Quite frustrating when the guy (who recognized us cause of my shirt haha what) explained the next few steps after the time ran out cause the next steps are so ah idk how to explain it ah basically it's things not obvious enough to trigger our attention.
Ok ah after that we headed out to finally eat burgerbyte- I thought it'd be a crowded cafe but it was literally empty, then again it was raining and a tuesday night
After a failed 3.28rm uber ride (+1 to the 8292 reason i hate uber u disguspink), we walked home instead.
Ok my eyes are heavyish
People dont text me so much please I dont wanna deal with yall now hahahah later ah ok
Buenas noches, sweetdreams!

Hearts beat as one honestly (02.56am)

Literally just ended a hearty talk with my soul sisters and the last of them (yol, surprisingly) just fell asleep like 2 seconds ago.
Today was laughable- murphy's law was occuring throughout the road so what was supposed to be a lovely 9am-2pm ride to KL became a 10am-7.45pm one.
Im glad that I got stuck with them out of al people though hahaha it's ok we in this together!
Needless to say today was pretty much wasted but we managed to have a lovely dinner (the pizza hut's pastas here are so much nicer than back home???) and winding down session
The airbnb is lovely, I love it and I love the sleeping arrangement it's like two queen sized beds across each other so we were literally like lying down facing each other spilling our rare boys' stories out hahah
Alhamdulillah for a safe trip here.
Looking forward to a brighter and smoother day tomorrow Insyaallah!

How did it come to this (02.51am)

Currently sat in front of a pile of clothes im supposed to pack into my bag hahaha
Leaving home in 4 hours time so might as well stay up
(What happened to my 2 hour power nap hahahaha no thanks)
Aka I havent packed but I really enjoy packing so im gonna be having fun soon hahahh

Today was funnn I think I lost 7kg from laughing hahah
Dance turned out well, and we biked to Admiralty together and lunched at Causeway
Then I ran to yew tee to meet jemerie for the shuttle to Gain city (the bus arrived right as I arrived I mean cmon thanks) lol rabak man we were judging and testing the appliances while waiting for our other humans to arrive
We saw a smart refrigerator which was smart yes but it was totally unnecessary and costed 10000 (yes you saw 4 zeros) 
Then we went to judge a 9$ video camera, pianos and looked at a fitness food app on an ipad hahahha it kept us entertained
Then commences the performing-to-televisions session hahahah ok la I was having fun though I was more controlled than yesterday (yesterday I was singing all the parts and making unnecessary-but-actually-necessary noises)
Because there was a bus breakdown, there were humans sitting and standing near us and we began with 0 audience to a group that was clapping for us ehehe success

Ran (hah fake) to yew tee where we sat at macs for like 2 hours eating ice cream and idk what nonsense everyone was doing and we made a nuisance in the pasar malam (and at macs who are we kidding)
Rabak man I dont know yall anymore especially jemerie who tried to pull a chair that was stuck to the floor hahahahah
Went home with daya and jorene and then had a walk in the train station (makeshift beach where we tried to avoid the sea, rocks and sandcastles) with daya hahaha that was lovely and necessary
Met mama for supper and yeah just reached home an hour ago

Lowkey feel like yoloing and going to sleep and then see what time I rise and how im gonna cope with my unpreparedness when I wake up but i just enjoy packing ah so this challenge next time ok
(Maybe if solo trip can)
Hahahaa k adios buenas noches mi patria ♡

//edit//

07.20am

Ayy my sistas are all out and im still lepaking hahah see this highly optimistic idea that I live close enough to drag time this way hahah ok lah I shall get ready now 

I just... (13.03pm)

Lol I saw elephant waiting for cab and 2 people were cutting her queue wth humans yall no morals is it ok this is not even a question it's a statement
Very late for dance cause there's no trains, cabs or grabs hahaha ok actually I just got a grab like now after 15 mins
Nevermind as long as everything goes smoothly later im good

Yesterday was so fun!
We hiked labrador together to get to our gig venue and they were trying to use google maps and im there like IM google maps
So they went against comfort and followed me instead hahahah ok
(eh why is grab getting so problematic ah it used to be the best most convenient thing ever but now whattttt even im so disapp)
Ok back to positivitiy, the first carolling session was for a charity called Operation hope and we made some new friends from there ehehe
2 girls kept smiling up at us while we were on stage and one of them kept waving I cant even they are too cute
After that we collectively decided not to walk out so we grabbed to vivo together hahaha
Jasmine rico and I got our floats and then lepaked at boardwalk, beatboxed and played in the rain before we went off to our next location.
Met KJ Andrie and Matthias and dinnered before singing together aka they are so nonsensical I love it hahahahah the second one required more screaming than the first but there were people dancing so that was nice
Ended the day with a sudden but very much overdue boardgames session and I learnt a new game even though I saboed my team cause I didnt know the rules enough hahahaa... not my fault ok technically
Journey home was very peaceful and then idk what time I slept hais but I woke up at 9 idk why
Basically yesterday was us screaming both times but luckily it was technical screaming so our vocal cords are ok it was just physically demanding but hey gotta love seeing the audience's faces light up
Tis the season to be jolly afterall hahahahhaah k

Btw keeping a dream analog is cool but it becomes weird because everytime I reread an entry my brain conjures up the exact image I see in my dreams like how do we have space to retain these information (and not my history notes when I needed it)
And sometimes I get confused between real life and dream world especially locations-wise cause i will never know whether that place only exists in my dreams or it's a place I have visited before
Overall, I wont be stopping soon because I realise after I began journalling my dreams they have gotten more vivid and varied which is amazing it's like watching (more like being in) a movie without requiring extra sense perception-mind effort because it's literally all just happening in my mind
And it is kindaaa true that dreams are a way for our brain to refresh and also a recollection of our recent thoughts because I have proof for myself hahaha

OK have an amazing day ahead!!!
Might be running down to the evening gig later might je ah

ps if multiverses exist, yesterday might have been an experience where we saw rico and his future self sitting beside each other in the train hahahahaha 

pps ok wow ive been blogging my whole journey I have reached admiralty now yay alhamdulillah the driver quite drifter I appreciate it

ppps KL TRIP TOMORROW I HAVENT PACKED

Work our hearts off and then play even more (02.40am)

Carolling begins in less than 7 hours time!
Gave shammy lopez a tudung and makeup crash course till 1am hahaha that was fun even though she interrupted my John cena appreciation time
Training today was nice but my brain needed to watch more wrestling so I was lowkey multitasking
Stayed in the hive for 2 extra hours and it felt like I was the only human there

Two things;

Firstly, I finally am able to sing echame la culpa properly- it took playing the video at 0.5 and then 0.75 speed before going normal which sounds so sped up hahah

And because of that, secondly, Im doing my españyol revision cause my friends who are learning spanish are now at level 3 and above so maybe I can converse more with them now

Ok I should rest honestly a long day ahead of entertaining people when do I not entertain hahahahahahhhaah jk

ps happy birthday cena the painmat, the elephant 1 to my 2!! love u always and always even though we make each other choke from laughter all the time and i love how when we're together, we're a team who owes no explanation to anyone because we are just almost cogito ergo sum; we think, we are, we exist.

Only attracted to the the things that'll bring you trauma (04.03am)

*unnecessarily long title alert*
Anyway had quite a productive day of revising carols and learning a new choreo
Havent eaten though wth i'll need a proper breakfast
Another day of training ahead!
Have a lovely day!

//edit//

12.42pm

It is quite unlike me to make the same mistake twice especially dumb ones like misjudging a bus' timing -____- 

I mean, habla con mi mano man

Anyway it is quite a lovely weather albeit sliiightly cloudy but im loving the windy sunny combo

(still dont get why combination shortened is combo and inspiration as inspo is that a random-human made or a grammar rule)

I shan't bother myself with that hahah 

Btw I was having an internal debate as to whether I should bring my laptop to school cause so inefficient but fun so I didnt but then as I was having lunch I was watching Brie vs Nikki and I just had to continue (wwe on mobile is just not as fulfilling) so yeah no thanks to the bella twins for making me add an extra burden for myself

OK my wrists hurt from typing hahaha what oh yes cause im trying to hold my laptop up while sitting down

Ok just 13 minutes till my bus come (and to think I took the wrong bus and then grabbed here just to rush for a non-existent bus haahahah STOP IT frogerina 

Okay may we all (lol the past 3 sentences was headed by an Okay hahahaha) have a good friday! 

:D

Ok ugh weird (00.09am)

I complacently assumed I blogged yesterday what even I should probably have a systematic timing so I dont forget hahahah
Anyway went to meet grablorry earlier today and then sat for icecream for 3 hours discussing life hahahah
Didnt even make it for harmonix and dance
But there's always tomorrow (ok today) and this time I really gotta attend both hahah
K goodnight idek what time I slept last night btw I know I was charging my phone but I woke up with my phone on the drawer and with 20% battery
Must be chiqa's job dasar doraemon

By the way, (00.21am)

H a p p y B i r t h d a y to husband number 1
You are the best, you know it
Here's to an amazing career ahead and I need to meet you soon pls visit me someday
♡

//edit//

14.09pm

I'd hate to taint this lovely post with a tinge of unsightliness but it truly is the greater evil to get someone on your side first and then manipulate them from there. (No this is not an idea for you) 

Looking forward for a lovely day ahead even though im still stuck in bed not feeling optimal (cold days are really my foes sometimes) 

ps ive never craved kfc before why am i craving it now

pps got reminded that my kl trip with north pole is happening soon omg 

//edit//

23.05pm

Currently at esplanade concourse hahah lowkey relieving my sunday night heheh ok I had a lovely night of eating more chicken than I ever had, christmas shoppes, fragrance and now ice cream.

Harmonix training tomorrow followed by my meeting with grablorry and then dance after what felt like so long hahah may tomorrow be a productive great day ehehe

My heart is full (00.32am)

Im content, happy, all the good things in life alhamdulillah
Will edit this post later.
I need to mentally settle down heheheh.

//edit//

03.41am

Honestly thought i'd crash tonight but im nowhere near. I probably should force hibernate to recuperate before I proceed with trainings because this is worrying sometimes hahaahaha.....

Btw I love the acacommunity??? Everyone (ok the ones who matter) is so supportive of each other and like when I meet elephant's groupmates I will hug them and when she meets my team she hugs them like bruh unspoken sisterbrotherhood in musicianship I appreciate it 

//edit//

23.39pm

Just woke up from a nap :') 

Yesterday was really fun with my Harmonix! Met them at 8am (lol supposedly) where we did some warmups at esplanade rooftop before our souncheck at 9.30am (there were 2 little girls who were sitting at the audience and their reactions were so cute especially during fred bass sound check and daya's test beatbox like the smaller girl fell from her chair in shock hahahahaha i cant)

Then while we were done I saw yol from across the hall and we took a good 4 seconds to react because wth r u doing at esplanade at 10am whats your problem (ok lowkey I had a feeling for the longest time that today would involve her so I didnt tell her about my performance but felt like somehow she would found out even without social media and yep she was literally THERE) She gangsterly confronted me to her aunt's dismay hahaha u loser at least we know our telepathy is real (she said she also had a feeling her day would involve me somehow)

We then moved to our dressing room and went for brunch before having coffee and then an hour of naptime. Ok this part was hilarious cause everyone was ready to do some singing but fred would not wake up literally it was lowkey scary cause he was frozen not moving and we tried EVERYTHING (panic alarms, harmonizing, screaming, shaking him awake, splashing water) but they did not work he did not budge! And then I triggered his subconscious brain I think and he jolted awake hahaha I mean sorry but it had to be done xD

Did some warmups and singing and then proceeded to work on our Choreo before getting ready and singing one time through for the last time. While we were going up the escalator Chiqa jumpscared me hahaha gurl was ready to watch me perform!!

Showtime was great, the audience was real fun (mostly cause of TAG hahahaha theyre the best I cant) Personally I had so much fun although I was taking more care of my notes than usual (which was a smart decision because unbeknownst to me, my mic turned out to be a lot louder than the rest) I mean I trust my notes control but you know cant be too careful hahaha. 

Mama, chiqa, elephant, along, shammy lopez, TAG, and then some humans from my Harmonix fam came to support us and the other groups performing! It was a blessing we were first to peform because we could stand at the back to dance around afterwards 

Went for dinner and then headed back where once again I couldnt sleep but ended up planning for the camp with Justine till 3 plus heheh bless

I truly enjoyed the day and just being with the group- each of them are just so talented and weird in their own ways, I love it and them heheh ♡

And then today, I celebrated by... more acappella hahahaha ok I wanted to say I should rest but I just did so I feel quite rested but it's almost midnight lameee

Kay have an amazing day tomorrow!

Can't sleep love (01.52am)

It's been some time since I felt pre-show nerves because i've been doing quite a number of performances but it's a nice feeling because we're anticipating something cool and like i've always appreciated this feeling.
Usually i'll feel butterflies the night before a performance and then feel nothing but excitement on showdays which is ok too as long as I feel something
5 hours before I have to leave home so shall I pack my things now or...
We'll see

//edit//
03.51am

Alarm ringing in 2 hours, to sleep or not to sleep that is the question
Actually have a soundcheck at 9am and then a whole day of lepaking until our showtime at 7.45pm
May everything go smoothly, Insyaallah!

6.19am what an apt time

WHAT I WAS GONNA BLOG ABOUT REYREY AND THE TIME TURNED 6.19
We're just soulmates really, no further comments necessary
Hahaha anyway ya I was gonna say that WWE posted this (photo below) then at first I was scrolling through the newsfeed pretty fast then I saw a mask then im like "is that reyrey or kalisto again but looks so reyrey" and I checked and I was like omg clickbait this is literal click bait because it was a bait for me to click on it because it had rey's face
Ok stop hahahah then I read the title and my heart skipped a beat because what???????
I've been so accepting of his departure from wwe that I forgot it was possible for him to return.
I watched the video and I never realised how long it has been since we've seen him in the squared circle.
Of course i'll always want this to happen but more importantly, i'm happier to see him reign supreme at Lucha and whichever promotions he's wrestling under
He'll do fantastic anywhere
(but i mean if he comes back he might tour and- ok nvm the thought is making me feel faint)
♡

And other people mentioned in the list (in order of necessity);

#2 Kharma (I need to see her back in action and slay the division and destroy the arena!!!)

#3 Goldberg/Batista (equally exciting and equally problematic but I love them both still)

#7 Joey Mercury (sorry mate)

It's a daze (02.33am)

Im acting like i have 3 months more to submit my essay omg I should really submit it by tonight ughhhh come on dear self why you like this
My day has been weirdly timetabled; it begins in the evening and ends in the morning
Hahaha life man
Training was funnn we finally did choreo again hahaha
Another day of rehearsal today before our performance tomorrow!
I should sleep soon
(hahahahaha joke of the century)

ps i know chiqa is not my child but she has inherited my nocturnal tendencies sometimes she even sleeps later than I do omg sTOP baby I have reserved the owl position

pps woke up to this; seeing that the pantone colour of 2018 is ULTRAVIOLET aka what even, it's gorgeous!!!!! very! Time to make my life more purple

ppps love the article title hahaha cause like honestly really move over pink shouldve moved over a long time ago

//edit//

10.11am

Man that was a feasible power nap but my alarm shocked me thrice omg I didnt even put them on loud it's probably because I just changed the songs before I slept hahaa loser 

Anyway running out soon- who knew fate would bring me to the exact place I sometimes had to escape from, for harmonix? :')

//edit//

23.11pm

HAHAHA I missed both deadlines for the essays. Here's another sem of half-done essays. No more please stop it.

Anyway got home and took a nap and now I wonder how im gonna sleep tonight hahahah

Calltime at 8am tomorrow mate

May the universe grant my friends and I with positive, healthy vibes

I don't know what it is (03.00am)

Until the day I submit my final essay for this semester I cannot have 100% fun la hahaha maybe 88%
Also one additional burden which I thought i'd love but it's slowly turning malicious and like I respect them enough to tolerate but I also respect myself enough to know I should leave pretty soon.
Anyway whatever it is, John cena on Fallon was hilarious I tried to not smile or laugh but when he said "So I ran to my room and started running" I lost it

Training went quite well, finally we have the full gang!
We all seemed drunk idk why but it's always nice with them so thanks miluvs ♡

Cultured (00.42am)

Just love how acakids have piano apps in their phones hahaha two days ago lynn called jeremy to test his range and all 3 of us were offering our phones for pianos
Training just now too all of us had our own keyboards I mean it's just a nice thing hahaha you never know when you need to jam

Meh might as well (03.35am)

I have resented to the fact that my sleeping time is anytime between 8-11am nothing earlier nothing later
It's ok because I am not in pain or anything actually I feel better being awake (ehem bad in the long run but I CANT HELP IT dont talk to me like that ok self)

FINALLY training resumes and I still have 1 essay to complete and omG the other one I let go because I missed the due date lol loser I should really email professors instead of going MIA I mean from past experiences all my profs have been nice
Ok anyway I was testing my range again at 2am while lying down cause lowkey thought I was about to sleep and I went an octave above my last test so im like confused how come I can reach higher notes when im not warmed up this shouldnt make sense
I dont make sense

Anyway yeah went to sentosa on monday night with chiqa we got the same bus driver to and from sentosa hahaha
We had the whole beach to ourselves, it was so empty and dark and peaceful I loved it
We almost wanted to sleepover but you know, sentosa.

Met lynn earlier on in school- woke up to mcbreakfast and spent the day with crazy telepathies and idk just all around musicing (there was a point where we were both so tortured and crashing hahahaha but it got better after dinner where we began ghost stories)
Okey I shall find something to do
Buenas dias

//edit//
13.15pm

It's easy to dismiss something you dont understand.
People expect things as part of the social contract but we forget that in this graph there are bound to be outliers.
These outliers are still part of our sample size, we are simply catering to the majority and norm but this does not discount the existence of differences.
In this world there are many different kinds of outliers; dif-abled people, mental health patients, people with weird quirks, so many others.
We can only make the world a more inclusive place- if the big businesses cant afford to make space and time for these (which is totally dumb btw I hate the concept so much), we as a society should be the ones bagging this responsibility.
Not just because we are members of society and we are obliged to, but because we are humans.
♡

Didn't help but still worth it (15.13pm)

"One must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star."

Friedrich Nietzsche

//edit//

16.48pm

Currently very sleepy and hungry and dizzy all in once ay

Uneventful bliss (02.59am)

I feel like it has been forever since I was at the beach in the morning like right before sunrise (i mean im not there now) but ya must make it happen more often
Happy Monday anyways!
My work will all be settled by wednesday and then I can go back to rehearsals muahaha

//edit//
05.12am

Lilly just retitled her vlogs so from "The time I" to going straight to the point and im honoured that her first titled vlog is Reacting to demdems' music video ehehe I mean, what else to do except share the love mates

//edit//
06.07am

I blog about this a lot but it's just intriguing thinking about how weird it is that everyone knows different versions of me like they all have different perceptions of me
Just last week I asked JM something out of the blue and she just looked so shocked and said "OMG thats the most alive ive seen you"
Hahahaha I cant even
In the same week lynn said I am "someone who doesnt talk to people" as if my life motto is "Do not speak unless spoken to"
And Yol was so shocked because ME??? DONT TALK??? Cant relate but so true at the same time
Also Jorene tagged me in a video about an alarm clock for people who cant wake up and yep you guessed it another shocked factor
Im a light sleeper bruh means I wake up quite easily- I dont even sleep for santa's sake :')
I mean do I really need to define myself because honestly it's up to me how I act but I also dont know what triggers what side of me
But the discrepencies and how much I say "REally?!" when people share their thoughts about me makes me feel like nobody truly knows who I am
Hahaha I think the branding people label me as somehow stuck to me like some people think im the person who does not bother about anything and anyone and then some people think im overly caring
Also some people (coughs harmonix and my uncles) think im expressionless and emotionless while others say im a drama queen
Probablemente a walking paradox but I wouldnt have it any other way
(i think my favourite version of myself is a mix of all buttttt the most fun side is definitely when im with STYLO hahah yall just bring out the kiddiest kid in me I absolutely love it)

Ok end of rant probably will get ready to go out soon hahhehaheh noone can stop me
Ok maybe mama will either 1) say im mad for wanting to go to the beach this early
2)  ask me to wait for her to get ready

Finally a weekend to myself (03.27am)

I cant remember the last time I was able to enjoy a weekend just doing nothing hahaha

//edit//
16.53pm

I really feel like going to a beach like this urge is so strong i shall get ready now then

//edit//
18.33pm

Ok i got ready but im still stuck at home cause waiting for baby chiqa hahahais
Talking about babies I miss izzul and izzah!!!!!
Should visit them soon heheh

Merry Deciembre (01.44am)

I officially have like 4 free days left this month hahahah

Also, youtubeland is filled with Gamingmas, vlogmas, 12/24 days of christmases omg how do I get on top of that game

Ok I have to be up in 6 hours to meet tatyana for the 4PM tribute to volunteers.

//edit//

15.58pm

Aiseh I typed a few lines and my phone just restarted no thanks to you

I had a lovely morning, managed to take a few micronaps between 8-10am because I couldn't get myself to slumber

Finally managed to attend a Tribute to volunteers (T2V) event after 2 years

It was nice just being outside and everyone seemed smiley, it's a very sunny day!

And not just the weather 

Ok the sentences above couldve been phrased better

ps totally in denial about untouched essays bleah 

Weird but I got this (02.19am)

Before I begin please do check out @alataz on instagram and like her latest post (if you like it of course) ehehe thanks ♡

I mean it's comforting to know that people out there are also struggling with finishing their essays and are a week behind due date because same
So that topic aside, I had a nice day
Running a temperature lameee and I feel physically sickish but internally okay so all is good
We made a last minute arrangement, tried to sing like 3 scored songs in between and went back to arranging
All from us "we need to leave by 5."
"Ok 5.30"
"We must finish by 6.30 ok"
"Alright, 7!"
But idk what time we ended in the end :')
Didnt go to dance in the end anyways so had dinner with lynn and keichi
Im sure all of us had to make our own sacrifices just for this and I appreciate that.
I almost thought I couldnt leave home because I had no key and elephant LOCKED THE GATE
I was channeling my inner Mitchie torres and like "We cant back down" and then I found my keys immediately after

Now back to essays before rehearsal for voices at esplanade resumes (more like start) hahahah

ps am i always sick because i blog about being sick because if yes imma stop that and say IM GOOD IM WELL IM FANTASTIC

pps ok thats more like it

//edit//

14.46pm

Im confused, I woke up with 4 different people asking what i'll be doing today
Is this a test for me to resist temptations because I would fail excuse me
Why yall never jio me when im free and why yall jio me on the SAME DAY at the same time
Anyway it makes me feel like I actually have company in life I appreciate it
Talking about appreciate, mama asked if I wanted to follow her roam kampong glam which I really do want to but my essay is 8 days due I HATE rejecting outings because of school work maybe this is the guilt I needed to finally finish my essays ok
I'll start doing it at 3
(....bad start. this is a sign of procrastination)

//edit//
16.25pm

OK no wonder people are in a good mood today the weather looks amazing (ok I saw from instagram im still stuck in bed my fever got worse)
Now I feel simultaneously better and worse cause Why am I not outside enjoying the day but also WOOH I asked for one sunny day and I got it Alhamdulillah
LETS CONQUER THE WORLD (in a non evil way)

//edit//

19.29pm

why is it when I decide that i cant stand a song, people I adore chose to dive in and save them (tb demi and the sam smith song) and now like ed sheeran just dropped the Perfect song with freaking beyonce???? and she MADE the song!!!! thanks for the attempt

(where did she find time for this anyways)

//edit//
23.19pm

dems' new music video just dropped and im shook because SHE'S SINGING THE SONG FOR HERSELF im so happy because like the last line resonates deep within me like literally she was singing this line in front of the mirror: everything I need, is standing right in front of me, I know that we will be alright, alright And im here like YES girl you have yourself and we all do too okay

hm ok no idea what i'll do tomorrow you know when you have too many plans you're just like i'll see what my brain feels like doing