11.59am

Emotionally and mentally exhausted but fulfilled

I wonder how long it'll take to recover, hopefully by this afternoon

A break today

Got some last minute shoots next week amidst the gigs and meetups

Alhamdulillah for everything

Now to tell my system that we're ok

Heavy scenes are done

Dont need to think about it anymore 

Maybe I just need a cake

Which I have TWO of in my fridge so yay

19.04pm

Love hate relationship with my algorithm right now

Every caption I read every video I watch is breaking my heart a little bit more

But I love love love seeing cena on my screen

My heart is not okay 

I knew it'd hurt a lot, but it's hurting a lot more than I thought it would

</3

+==edit==+

23.02pm

Okay I cant take it

Every post is taking a toll on me emotionally 

I shall give myself grace and avoid socmed

Also reminder to myself to always be grateful in every stage of my career 

There's something special about the bubbling phase

About uncertainties and blind risk takings

May I remain courageous and true to myself always

06.46am

Waking up every hour because im forcing myself to sleep before I need to hahaha

Also very... (insert a silly, less negative version of the word disappointed here) in myself for pushing my voice- normally im so good about getting vocal rest before I even need it but the past few days ive been pushing for no reason aka the reason is work but still

Anyway 3 more gigs to conquer this weekend but it's 99% xmas songs which is the worst for my vocal cords (all very high ahahaha)

Im gonna wear a sign around my neck that says ON VOCAL REST so I dont have to talk to anybody before and after singing

Ok bye sadly sipping on water cus I have no alternative currently 

Surprised i even have a bottle of water it's a miracle

Anyway my taste buds are unhappy right now hahahah issok sacrifices of an artiste 

12.58pm

Doing life for myself is generally easy, I want to do something, I do it

If I don't then I don't

And then I leave the rest to Him

Sometimes things are outside of my hands and of course I'll have to just let go and let god

Did not expect another one of this to appear in the thick of the season where I make things happen

Only ask for our affairs to be eased

He knows best 

01.32am

Stood a lot of today because carolling season is here

Also just nice my period also came

So this body ache is doubled

Gotta get up in 7 hours

Sleeeeeep pls bo!

13.29pm

You call it overbooking I call it preparing for the lull early year where there are not many shoots and events

I am wiser now 

Hahaha

Bismillah for this month, I'll be working 17 days straight tomorrow onwards and will finally get a one day off on 23rd December

Most of all I am grateful for all the job opportunities

Truly setting the tone for the next year that I am so capable and opportunities are always there and I just got to be ready to grab it

Bismillah

Also stupid youtube AI said dharmann is my 2nd most watched channel that is untrue and embarrassing

01.37am

For real this dream chasing battle is me vs me

Ultimately the only thing stopping myself is me

Either way i'll win