Thankfully not an early day later
An exciting two days ahead
Another gig in Sentosa & then Wicked with my band
And then finally resuming raya visiting
Already miss raya food hahahah
Read my old blog and appreciated the details past me put in- really brings me back to that point in time
But she also put acronyms that I no longer have any semblance of an idea what they mean lol pleasee
Also it makes me want to blog more properly
I guess with the thought of people reading my blog I subconsciously hold back even though I dont actively decide to
Ok let's try
Currently my insides are abit of a muddled mush
Raya was beautiful.
My family went through a really tough start of the year- January and February were a lot of hospital visits and staying strong for each other
First day of raya proved to be extra meaningful- could really feel the meaning of the words Hari kemenangan seeing everyone gathered
Eternally grateful and forever praying for protection for my loved ones; grant them health, wealth, and light ♡
Also realise the people who take longer to seek forgiveness probably has words of affirmation as their love language
(it is very beautiful to witness and I both want to hear and don't want to eavesdrop but ok I just don't eavesdrop because privacy and I respect hahah)
Me too but I also dont want to cry with makeup lol there has to be a better way... maybe a letter in the sampul raya? Actually..... nice
Hahahaha
Something exciting about an ever expanding family, always new homes to visit and new people to learn to love
Something about this fresh new year is making me want to reconnect with many things- I think when some things in life begin to align, it makes you want to arrange other parts too
I know im not the only one whose social environment changed post covid- those who understands, stays, and those who has higher needs, leaves
But it is okay
Loving is time, faith and patience, and I don't feel the loss of those who lacks in these departments
But realigning is where the mush begins, the overfeeling, the procrastination of sorting my thoughts and emotions, I don't really mind it for now though
I know I just need to spend a day with myself
I have been thinking of places that inspire me and I plan to make time to go to those places; revisiting me in some ways, pieces I have left behind there
I haven't even consciously thought of where, but images keep popping into my vision
The route of Bus 131, View of the CBD from a stranger's house in Kolam Ayer, Palawan beach, Mount faber
I don't know why i'm writing these out but sure
The thought of being chosen again feels weird
It feels weird typing that
I don't have a low sense of self worth at all, but there are some things I have to unlearn moving forward before I can stop feeling weird about it
May He always guide and protect us in his love and light and shine his mercy upon us always
So funny-
It felt so natural to type all these
But at the end of it I felt like saving it to draft instead of posting it
Hahaha too used to undersharing at the one place I should overshare aka my diary
We'll see if this attempt at reviving my diary works
Or it'll remain a lolrandom website where I complain about morning shoots x night owlness
p.s. wow i finished typing at 5.46am, much think much rephrasing