15.51pm

Mixed feelings about seeing tokti's concert tonight

On one hand im watching my bff sister childhood friend do what she does best im going as a family member who loves her and have loved her for decades

On the other hand IM WATCHING MY FAVOURITE SINGER EVER SING LIVE 

The first one makes me calm and then the second makes me scream so 

AHHHH!!!! 

Best of luck tokti!!! I will see your beautiful face in 4 hours ♡ 

My heart cannot!!! 

+==edit==+

16.17pm

Have been passively avoiding songs spoilers by watching instastories on mute but some posts they'll put the song title and I just SCREaMed seeing bicara manis menghIRIS KALBUAHHHHHHH 

17.38pm

Played the bass guitar (like attempted a song) for the first time yesterday and today I did it again!

I hate the guitar because it hurts but bass has been friendlier to my fingers so far 

After that i touched my keyboard and i can feel it sideeyeing me 

02.41am

Literally got ten seconds of shut eye and this thought came to me;

Honestly if it's up to me, I really wont sleep

I really dont like it

Feels like a waste of time and it is a weird activity 

Hahahaha

But I guess it's necessary to rest the brain and being

And silence the thoughts for awhile

Sweetdreams. 

Salam Aidiladha! (12.49pm)

When you love someone, forgiveness is like breathing even though the betrayal and hurt is felt tenfolds

10.18am

Feeling just a bit down but strangers smile at me like we're old friends and I get reminded of His light again and again

Not to mention kindness of loved ones 

+==edit==+

12.23pm

Um I know insidious 4 was sad but i dont remember it being THIS sad my heart is not ok

literally had to stop the movie before the last painting reveal because I know I will just cry (like how i did at the cinema) and im literally on set right now

Why u crying r u ok

Ya im just watching insidious

What a silly reason hahahaha

Im gonna rewatch when im by myself so i can cry at that last scene

Love u ellise

16.20pm

I want to remember this feeling

Light, strong, sunshine

Blue skies

Clear mind

The opposite of heaviness

Alhamdulillah for last minute jobs

Don't know what I did and whose prayers are protecting me (besides my cute parents ofcus hehe)

But thank you Allah 

+==edit==+

16.32pm

Bruh I just opened One siti song and her beautiful voice is making me cry in the bus 

Not even a sad song hahahah

Love u tokti cant wait to see you ♡

02.13am

Kinda miss the little routines in KL already

10.28am

My heart is safe with Him

And i kinda dont want to go back to sg so fast... lol 

04.12am

Dang it

Alarm will ring in like an hour

Sleep does nothing but evade me 

Long but exciting day ahead but hoping for the best hahahah

Positive vibes only, no matter (fill in blank with whatever it is im feeling right now lol) 

00.24am

I just cycled to ntuc and bought groceries at my favourite grocery time; midnight

No crowd head empty peaceful

And I just used a duffel as my shopping bag

AND i am in a bus home (i love my area for their late running buses)

K bye must alight now

02.23am

“It hurts to let go. Sometimes it seems the harder you try to hold on to something or someone the more it wants to get away. You feel like some kind of criminal for having felt, for having wanted. For having wanted to be wanted. It confuses you, because you think that your feelings were wrong and it makes you feel so small because it's so hard to keep it inside when you let it out and it doesn't come back. You're left so alone that you can't explain. Damn, there's nothing like that, is there? I've been there and you have too. You're nodding your head.”

― Henry Rollins, The Portable Henry Rollins