00.53am

Oh nothing just watching my old vlogs and LOLing to myself

Funny siar

Hahahaha k bye

Also attempted spring cleaning for exactly 5 minutes but I just.... cant... .hahahha 

Hope I fall asleep before sunrise today I have a casting at 1pm 

Pleasepleaseee sleeppp (me knowing exactly I wont...)

+==edit==+

05.20am

I feel like with my current sleep schedule the only plans I feel happy to make are after 3pm

Even casting at 1pm feels so early cus I have to be up at like 11 (my alarm is 10)

Aiyaiyai

03.01am

First physical casting of the year later

Bismillah!

I've been not making it a deal but i've been acting for a year now

A few main roles, a few supporting roles, and many many MANY extra roles

I'm always excited to see what role I get next

Amongst which,

I've been a nurse, a lawyer, a patient, a childcare teacher, a technopreneur, a single mum, a prisoner, a police officer-

I've been in an MRT at 3am, Bird paradise before it was even ready, an abandoned school, studio sets-

I ran barefoot in the forest, checked a hotel room for signs of criminal activities, glued my mouth shut and had to sit very still while a drone flew right beside my head

I did an audiobook and recorded songs for kindergarten's curriculum

I got the coolest experiences so far

And I can't wait for more

I realise this blog knows nothing about 2023 me HAHAHA

I've been busking too!

After many many years (probably since sec school) of googling busking auditions, I finally did it last year

We got our license in May and have been quite consistently busking throughout the year

We even got some gigs, even a regular one at Tampines hub!

Ive always seen some friends regularly perform there and wonder when's my turn- answer: LAST YEAR!

Me 2 years ago would be so excited if she knew 

She'd be so proud

I'm so proud

It's been such a great music making journey

We get so happy seeing people on the streets smile, sit, enjoy, maybe cry 

It's a different, really interesting kind of performance

Especially since i've been performing on stages my whole life, busking was truly a culture shock- with people walking by and taking sneaky videos and putting money in the money box

So weird but we're definitely used to it 

EARL the Band, man,

We've come so far since our silly formation in 2019

"Just one cover" we thought

3 competitions and many gigs and videos later, throw in a sponsored trip to a choral festival in Haikou, China... (I KNOW, HUGE!!! AND I didnt blog?!?! What was I THINKING) 

Very proud of us and we're just getting started

Super excited to make music with my band!!!

At the end of 2022 I got a keyboard (it was on my wishlist) for the family gift exchange

Last year I touched it exactly Once 

I guess I was subconsciously demoralized (got such thing? hahahaha) that my fingers dont remember much

I used to play a lot in sec school but 2023 me didnt have the patience HAHAH

But yesterday,

Oh yesterday

I put it in front of me and played again

So annoying how I have to regain my coordination and memory, but,

I now put it where I know i'll play it

Went Hiking and swimming 

I feel like maintaining mobility and stamina is so important, not just for performing

Equally cause I have growing nephews 

I want to be able to be the fun aunt and play with them for hours without being tired

Tired was never in my dictionary 

Until a year of OFFICE JOB (BOOOOO!!!!)

Hahaha drama

But I shall regain my energy by doing things I love

Happy place, always

Okay wowww I blogged to complain about how I should be asleep 

Lol yeah right

00.36am

Been sometime since I experienced a day so filled with opposing emotions

The more I learn about periods and how hormones literally affect your brain, the more I give myself grace

It's okay that today I feel crazy

I feel strong for a moment and then I get weak again

And then I write and write, and feel strong again

And then hours pass by and I remember things and it makes me hurt again

But then I read back what I wrote when I was stronger,

And i'm strong once more

What a rollercoaster

But i'm grateful I even have the ups amidst the downs

Also, hoping everything just goes back into place

It will all work out beautifully

I will be okay 

♡

00.41am

Sampai hati.

Survived an 11 hour shoot basically where 9 of them was spent sitting on a stool so like all our lower backs are just... exhausted

But also, thank god for sending me a few people who helped pass the time so much more effortlessly with their passion

My heart is a little tired of feeling

I'll put it down a while for a rest

I'm not leaving it behind, or punishing it for doing what it does best

I'll just put it down a short while, for a short rest

God knows I need it

+==edit==+

03.51am

Randomly signed up for a netball clinic with the national team 

Was even looking forward to it kinda

But it's at 9.45am at tampines and I cant sleep and my back hurts 

............

I still set my alarm at 7.37am we'll see how much energy I have then 

My guess... not much

I will genuinely try though lolz

13.23pm

God blessed me with patience and compassion

If I dont use it then i'm doing a disservice to myself

20.47pm

Ah.

Hopefully the night dont feel too long. 

Just for tonight. 

01.48am

I ate lunch during lunchtime and dinner during dinnertime

Thought i'd crash after swimming but obviously not

Idk if meal planning is making me hungry or it really is supper time

Body clock violently alternating between crash at 2am wake up at 6am 

And

Falls asleep at 8am

As long as I sleep I guess

Hahahah

Thought i'd morning bird later today but seeing how awake I feel right now I wont have expectations

I might literally get up any second to get a small bite 

+==edit==+

20.47pm

Ah.

Hopefully the night dont feel too long. 

Just for tonight. 

+==edit==+

21.59pm

Confusing and wasted day

Note to self, write write write

All will be okay

He has my heart in his hands and He takes care of it

Embrace being the bigger person always

No regrets

Ate overnight oats at 3pm and cant even tell if im full but there was no hunger pangs 

I just ate dinner though in case my body just didnt tell me

Anyways

Here's to a better day ahead insyaallah 

06.56am

My morning bird phase lasted exactly two days

Lolol

Will probably be tired soon

But for now, just embrace the peace

06.30am

2nd day of morning birdness woww

9.14am

Sis almost had a proper night's sleep

I crashed a bit after midnight and got up to shower at like 6.45am

Granted I woke up literally every two hours but fell right back asleep each time

Wanted to go for a morning walk but.. haha issok later 

Had my first shoot of the year yesterday and started off strong with a 9 hour one

My entire body still hurts from hiking and just existing HAHAHA aging population

K drama no 

I guess im building strength without realising

Go me!!!

Dreamt of undertaker and he so scary but I was so brave in the dream hahahah 

Like I was interviewing him and he was being his scary self but I still spoke to him like a friend

Ok bye lolol time to find breakfast

p.s. totally posted this on the wrong blog 

00.16am

Nice I just typed my first "1 Jan 2023"

Hahahaha

+==edit==+

02.34am

This year I shall fully immerse in my body clock

No matter what phase im in i'll make the best out of it

Not that I havent been doing it, but sometimes I tend to want to force myself to sleep so I can "have an early morning" and "start my day early"

But it never ever happens, im just going against my biology and making myself suffer for no reason

Instead, i'll revolve my activities around my sleep schedule

At least for activities I am in control of

Ok Singapore, time to make more things open 24 hours just for me thank you 

Happy blessed New Year (16.22pm)

Happy 2024!

I cant believe I somehow stopped daily blogging in 2023

But wow what an experience

Alhamdulillah for everything.

May Allah heal the hurting, and bestow his light, love and blessings to everyone in need of him. 

I pray we all be protected from harm, and is always in his grace.

Amin, Amin.

I did so many cool things last year, and I dont want to forget it

Earl even got to perform for countdown last night, at my childhood place no less 

Such a cool experience 

Time is arbitrary but a new year is a perfect time for a clean slate

This year I want to go back to who I am, find out my true heart

Which I havent been the past few years

Of course, soul revising in grace.

No space for unnecessary negativities 

When you do good you attract good

When you think good you show good

Ok I need sometime to get back into writing for potential eyes to see but,

Hopefully daily blogging resumes as normal, even if what I do is complain about how I cant sleep

Hahahaha

Happy happy new year again, all the good prayers ♡