14.32pm

Truly, hurt people hurt people

I have to tutor at 3pm but I am still in bed

Wanna get up but dont feel like it

18.27pm

Of course a hurting heart yearns for solitude,

Trying to hide and appear okay in front of others can be more painful that the actual pain

Alas, 

We have things to do and places to be

Gotta fight through it at least till the night

Where once again,

Solitude comes visiting

Ironically that's the last thing I want

03.11am

I should really be asleep

Long and probably physically and mentally demanding day ahead

+==edit==+

19.27pm

Survived today- barely

Same thing tomorrow but hopefully this time round I manage to fall asleep

I owe it to myself to do better 

Anga bought me brunch but I had to leave home with yayan's bagpack, left hand carrying him and right hand dragging his heavy pram along

Thankfully he was calm the cab rides

But CABS- cus baby I ended up spending 40$ on cab today

And tomorrow too

But it's ok

This is hustle life I guess

Bring baby to work days

Ahaha 

K im exhausted 

00.24am

I mean past me wouldve been heartbroken but current me will just Whatever you into oblivion 

12.21pm

Just Alhamdulillah

You have made me following my heart the right thing to do despite, despite.

Thank you for your constant guidance and light, and blessings.

No words.

05.52am

I actually slept through the night and woke up rested?

I think cause didnt nap yesterday hahaha hashtag literally sleep like a baby cause usually i nap when yayan naps

Ok bye i should rest before his next feeding 

22.06pm

A breather

Had a lovely day with Alfie and Khali

It was us two 26 year olds trying to keep 2 babies happy 

Best part of all we still got to do all that while watching HSM 2????

I love

22.47pm

“A great Hope fell

You heard no noise

The Ruin was within”

— A Great Hope Fell by Emily Dickinson

Hope is our strongest armour and our greatest weakness

How is that even POSSIBLE

Also went on memory lane today (happens when youre lonely and want to make yourself feel better, revisit the past where things have already happened and you had friends and stuff)

Got a heartwarming feeling reading old "I'll always love you"s and "cant wait to see you"s 

From people I dont even talk to anymore (not by my choice, usually)

Well, I still do love you people and I hope everyday that you only get good things and happiness and love

I also hope to feel less alone but the universe has been telling me to be around bodies of water to feel better

Right now the only body of water im around is the bathroom 

Im supposed to catch the last bus to nenek's place but I have no motivation to move

00.56am

I love having no obligations to humans

04.57am

Only in Allah can I find solace and peace,

Only in Him can I get answers without getting answers

Only in Him is my heart secure, and never hurt

I pray you never abandon me and always show me the way out, the way towards you 

I know we are all protected by your merciful hands 

Ya Allah, I leave my heart in your hands.

Merry February (00.43am)

Always touching the left side of my chest saying It's okay, you'll be okay, we'll be okay