01.37am

Last night Eighteen chefs surprised me 

Usually theyre not my go to, it's always someone else's choice

Only once have I truly liked their food (usually it's mediocre) but last night was yum!!! 

Like i will go again kind of yum

+==edit==+

09.27am

Cant remember the last time I woke up early and didnt keep going back to sleep 

Forced myself to read some stories and actually managed to stay awake

Dont even know what time I fell asleep actually 

23.06pm

Hoping for miracles, but also working towards them

17.27pm

Birthweek feels kinda surreal I feel like im existing between times and worlds

Happy birthday my ms green tea orton, love you forever and always (can you believe we've known each other for almost 20 YEARS. 18 years now but what the heckie) ♡

06.17am

K this what happens when you procrastinate processing

Wild dreams (including hmx x harry potter) 

Measuring daya's 3m long chargers and umbridge spoiling mood

And waking up every hour 

Lolol but too sleepy to play phone for long

01.15am

Oh I had a beautiful day

Still havent managed to sit down and reply all messages from sweet people

Half of me is trying to process the day and the other half wants to live in the high a while longer

And I support that half more

p.s. um i swear she's looking at my camera HAHA luv u tokti ♡

i. am. birthed (00.34am)

Happy birthday to me!

My biggest issue currently is that my phone has no memory omg I need to clear it in case I really do see tokti later

00.01am

How is it my birthday eve already

Ahhh!!!!!!!!!

+==edit==+

23.39pm

Literally 21 mins until-

Cant even comprehend man no comprendo

I dont even want to think about it like usually naturally self reflection but I kinda dont feel like thinking and feeling things

I just wanna see my tokti from afar and not think about others first for One. Day.

But knowing me... lol aint gonna happen (dont worry it's not lack of boundaries nor am I a people's pleaser I just feel some obligations)

My heart gotta stop wanting things that dont want me that's the big issue

I want to be by the beach

(I was at the beach today for like 2 hours, and titi surprised me with cake!!! Yummy and major happy place ♡)

Over the weekend I met north pole and they surprised me and eatgo with kunafe as our cakes hehehe so officially 2 cakes 

I want more cakes I will eat them all 

K bye 

Tokti tomorrow wave at me okay 

06.55am

Currently not feeling the best, but trying hard to not let it get to me

Let a girl enjoy her birthweek even if it's by herself 

I can take pain but doesnt mean I want to

+==edit==+

18.03pm

When it rains, it pours

+==edit==+

23.35pm

How am I starting my birthweek sad and troubled

This is not cool

Im trying everything I can to get out of this but it's a slippery slope I keep falling into

Really hoping for a better night, and for tomorrow to be better too. 

I simply hate having a heart sometimes 

06.03am

After a biphasal sleep night, a shoot that overran for 3 more hours, and grab debacles,

I crashed from 7.30pm-4am lol 

I guess happy for my cells and body hahaha

03.55am

Have to be up in 3 hours 

Instincts are strong and thriving yet here I am testing limits lol

+==edit==+

08.38am

Annoying morning thus far

It must only go up from here

Ugh. 

22.58pm

My busiest, quite exciting week thus far is also my potential pms week lol but all is good only sometimes sad for no reason (got reason, HORMONES) and tired but both can be handled alhamdulillah

Tomorrow's calltime is 8.45am which is fine and dandy ive had 730am calltime

But... it's at the west area

Dangit 

But it's okay

I should try to sleep soon but I literally crashed for 3 hours in the afternoon lol after the focus group discussion

Which was fun as always

01.05am

Please tell me why im laughing out loud over a miranda sings' video at 1am

It's We dont talk about Bruno Ballad version when everyone sings at the end freakin colleen thank you for making me joyful

+==edit==1

02.29am

Watching old, actually edited vlogs of mine and very shocked at my nails length present me totally cant relate I cant remember the last time I had even remotely long nails eeeek now I trim so regularly like a proper human 

Cant believe i got shook at such a small thing ahaha

But also dangit @ past me for not editing vlogs for...over 4 years now 

Do u know HOW MUCH RAW FOOTAGE I HAVE

Then now when i got mood + time + motivation, my laptop is broken

Thanks eh

+==edit==+

05.00am

Me when my body doesnt feel right the rare occassions: Googles pms symptoms

Me: ah, that makes sense

I cant sleep and hungry and literally carbs and proteins are needed to regulate hormones

Eek since when u so high maintainence dear body but ok fine i will eat something i guess

+==edit==+

07.13am

Havent eaten but as per usual when i ignore my needs it goes away (not permanently okay just out of pure laziness and procrastination please respect your bodies and listen to its needs okay)

Dont know how tonight turned out to be a sleepless one but not complaining

How did I ever EVER do office hours for almost 2 months straight that's too crazy and gross 

(Coming from someone who can work literally days and days non stop when it comes to things I love) 

21.55pm

Me have been missing my vivo for some time and finally went today hehe

+==edit==+

22.42pm

So I always sing nonsense

And now im hearing my mum singing nonsense to chiqa and she's just uncontrollably laughing

I wonder if my grandma also sings nonsense, maybe it is a generational thing hahahaha

Poor chiqa has to be our audience (or should I say she is LUCKY and BLESSED) 

Hahahahaha

+==edit==+

23.58pm

Me watching a horror movie at the cinema today: wonders how i'd play each roles / choosing which roles most fun to play / imagining the crew behind the camera / wondering how long the actors sat in makeup and wardrobe

Hahahaha I love it also one part so funny cause the character running and each ghosts appearing at like every few steps and im like If that was me and Along we will be oblivious if we never wear contact lens

Lolol ok not a challenge just trying to make it lighthearted okay (cus happened to Along irl actually once not the many2 ghosts but one but it was so funny how poor eyesight is a good thing in this case I guess) 

Ok bye no talk about this

Mentos spearmint is best

23.34pm

Grateful, greatful

23.48pm

Spent today in different meanings of warmth

23.42pm

Every month I debate whether to continue youtube premium 

Hate that I need it kinda

Ughh 

02.01am

I wonder how kfc would taste with coke

It sounds like an abomination and wrong

+==edit==+

16.57pm

Easy to take blessings for granted

Ya Allah make me amongst those who always remember you, in good and in bad

In pain and in joy 

You really have given so much and I will always be grateful

What I can do is continue working with amanah and sincerity, and ease others' affairs when I can

Bless my journey 

+==edit==+

17.20pm

Tell me why both the front and back of my house has renovation going on lol cant escape the noise

Looks like imma have to not be at home so much until it's done ahaha jk but... eek

22.54pm

Refuse to think and feel thus a peaceful day

22.38pm

Feliz cumpleaños my homeland

Was nice to be around crowd

Despite the trouble, it's always better than social distancing

21.02pm

Wait what the

I thought I missed ONE day of blogging

I'll update you later

Today was empty empty and tried a frozen corndog which was yumz 

19.50pm

Mama just cooked and i cant tell if im hungry or not

But also bestoe surprised me with krispy kreme cus I having fever (NO THANK U COLD WEATHER) due to the cold weather as always

So funny I heard a man's voice outside my door but ignored it and then yol messaged to ask if i got something

Totally lifted my spirit and of course it's one of the rare times I feel loved (lolol fake emoness) ♡

Especially cause I mentioned in passing that I was craving doughnuts (kk specifically of course origlazed is superior) so for a total goldfish who dont remember things, this was unexpected and very appreciated muehe 

Still happy about our reunion and excited to be experiencing more cool things together even though she kakak office and im the exact opposite lol opposites attract confirmed

Excited for a singy weekend ahead

00.50am

Of course conveniently the one day of the week I have to get up before 6am I am not asleep by 9pm 

Excuse urself @ me

+==edit==+

08.29am

Current hobby: pointing out red flags ironically

Person: walks fast

Me: thats a red flag

Hahaha anyway 

I did not expect an outdoor shoot today 

At least there's fan, wifi and seats

I was gonna say something I frogot

Oh ya

I kept waking up throughout the night omgosh

At least once every 2 hours 

Didnt end up taking bus as planned, took stupid cab which I couldve sworn I boycotted already

Gojek high demand was 14 (and i had vouchers)

Cab was freakin 13.60

What was supposed to be a definitely <10 ride is pfft

Hate u cabs from grab

18.30pm

I have a 730am calltime tomorrow

Thankfully it's near home wew 

Had a lovely day yesterday

Oxtail soup and thrift shopping, and then fake pulut hitam pie (the inside barely contained anything wtheck lucky plaza) 

Honestly I am enjoying this freelance life more than anything but I do think I can afford to hustle abit more, not just career wise but also living life wise 

Like I could be out for more sunshine

August is beautiful.

13.14pm

Dang it man

Just listening to stephanie harlowe after so long and just

Child abusers and sexual predators deserve the worst things in life 

What the hell is abusing your child long term and then throwing your child in the trashcan????? And then reporting it to the police with lies in hopes of not getting persecuted

No words i dont even want to talk about it my heart is angry

Merry August (10.30am)

Buenos dias

Feeling quite blessed for gig opportunities im getting even though it's all minor, it's a great start

Took falling asleep easily the past few nights for granted cause last night had trouble sleeping but thankfully it wasnt that long 

Had a lovely sunday, and rehearsearl always rejuvenates me

Throwback to two weeks ago when me and doya were so exhausted but got recharged ironically from spending unnecessary energy making noise hehe obviously NOT unnecessary

Even got to eat cake for doya's belated birthday, baked by her cousin wew super yuMz it was a ferrero rocher cake (cue momo saying I dont want the heart) (he didnt want the slice of cake with a tiny heart on it HAHAHA)

I just saw a weird looking thing on mama's plate and put one in my mouth

So delicious HAHAHA it's like char kuay stuffed with beef??? Idk but

Why am I blogging I have to get ready

Also I started this post at like 10.20 and now it's 10.47am cause I ended up making coffee halfway 

Not even important news 

Lol ok bye have an amazing day